The Chronicles of Xena & Gabrielle
by strange1
Summary: have you ever wondered what X/G were thinking during episodes? what happened between episodes? this is my take, along with what would happened after the dreaded FIN. this is going to be 'epic' as i plan on covering each episode. i'll update as often as i can but no promises. i hope you enjoy. :)
1. Chapter 1

As I sit here, surrounded by my family and friends, I can't believe all that has happened. The road we had to travel to get here. While I have the love of my life, it wasn't that long ago that we were separated. And I didn't think I'd ever find her again. But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is the story. An epic story. A love story. A story of soulmates. I hope you enjoy our journey as much I enjoyed traveling it. I could have done without an event or two. But then, neither Xena or myself would be the people we've become. So here's the story of a naïve village girl and a former ruthless warlord.

Sins of the Past

It was a typical day in the village of Poteidaia. Or so thought Gabrielle. She was the daughter of a farmer. She was betrothed. And she was unlike those who she grew up with. Her father would call her a dreamer. And in a way, it was true. What she was was a storyteller. Or at least that's what she wanted to be. But to be a storyteller, one had to have stories to tell. What could she tell of a naïve, young village girl who hadn't been anywhere or hadn't met anyone.

Gabrielle sighed as she made her way with the other young villagers. It was summer. It was time to help in the fields. Or it was time to do the laundry at the river, depending on whether one was male or female. There were some of the elders along as well. They were to help and to supervise. Mostly, they were there to make certain no one had any fun. Gods forbid any of them have any kind of life, outside of working, eating, sleeping and sadly dying.

The last part was what Gabrielle feared the most. Not the actual dying, for everyone had their time. What had her concerned was that she would be forced into a loveless marriage. That she would be forced to marry Perdicus. He was all right. A little dull and not the brightest. Yet, he had always watched out for her. Even taking the blame a few times when she had gotten into the usual mischief she was always seeming to get into. For that, she loved him.

But as a best friend. What she yearned for, beyond the adventure, was finding true love. Even better would be her soulmate. She had memorized a poem she had heard one time. It was about soulmates and how they had once been one person, split in two. And they searched their entire lives until they found the other part of their souls. Was it why she felt so empty inside? Was that why she seemed to flounder for direction? Another sigh escaped her as they made their way to the clearing.

That was when they were surrounded. Gabrielle wasn't certain what was happening. She'd heard of warlords. Even had a few of the lesser ones go after her home village. It had taken them a few years to recover each time they were raided. But they were left intact, for the most part. These men seemed different. They were not after plunder. They were after slaves. They were after the people. It dawned on her. They were to be taken as slaves.

"Take me. Let the others go." Where had the words come from? Gabrielle wasn't certain. All she knew was she meant them. If it meant spending her life in servitude, then so be it. Even if it meant being abused, so be it. As long as her mother and sister could escape, that was all that mattered. Maybe Lila could have a life Gabrielle always dreamed of. As long as she lived, that was all that mattered. It would have to be what mattered.

Before Gabrielle knew what was happening, she was being held. There was a man threatening to strike her with a whip. Her courage faltered only slightly. She managed to hold her head high, even if she couldn't help her body reacting. Couldn't help backing away. And that was when she saw her. It all happened so fast. The wrist was being held. Then there was this amazing fight. Just when it looked like the tall, raven-haired amazon was defeated, she managed to pull a sword and round weapon from the earth.

Gabrielle was in awe of the woman. And inspired by her. There was more to it than that. What was it? The young woman couldn't put her finger on it. It was something she had never felt. Just by watching the woman in action. Was it because she had never seen a woman fight the way the stranger had? Tartarus, she had never seen any fights like what she had witnessed. There had been a few drunken brawls at the local tavern. But that was it.

All the men had left. It was only the villagers and the stranger. Gabrielle, though one of the younger ones, made her way up the strong, amazing woman. "My name is Gabrielle. You have to let my family help you." When the stranger flinched, it was the first time she had noticed the wound. "Besides, you're hurt. We can give you something to eat and maybe a place to stay for the night." There was a pleading in the emerald eyes.

One that the warrior woman couldn't seem to ignore. It took nearly a candlemark to hike back to the village. Gabrielle never left the warrior woman's side. After realizing it was Xena who had rescued them, at first she had been terrified. Who hadn't heard of Xena? The woman had gone after Hercules. But something had changed her, hadn't it? Or why would she have saved Gabrielle and her village? Why would she not wish anything in return?

It was the most difficult thing Gabrielle had ever had to do. It was watching Xena leave. Why had it been so difficult? Was it because she was once again stuck in a village that didn't understand her? That would never accept her vision of life? As she packed her meager belongings, Gabrielle knew she was doing the right thing. Even if she wasn't certain how to take care of herself away from the farm, she knew something would make it so she would be able to live.

Explaining to Lila exactly what was going through her mind had not been easy. Placing her younger sister in the position she had was not something Gabrielle had wanted. And yet, she had no choice. Had her father known she was leaving, he would have forced the marriage to take place. Being the honorable woman she was, Gabrielle would have remained. She would have become the wife she was expected to be. And she would have died inside, a little more each day.

Instead, Gabrielle was now having adventures. She had already faced down a blind cyclops. Granted, he wasn't the most intelligent of beings. But still, she had done it on her own. That wasn't exactly true. She had to use Xena's reputation for her survival to have taken place. Still, it was her words. It was her acting that had granted her freedom. Now, what other adventures was she to have? She only hoped they would be alongside Xena.

Something told her that Xena would lead an exciting life. That there would be something happening to the former warlord nearly all the time. It would mean traveling. It would mean meeting new people. If only Gabrielle could convince Xena she could be of use. While not the greatest of cooks, her food was edible. She wasn't beyond doing the cleaning as well. If Xena wanted her to, she would polish her weapons. Though with a warrior such as Xena, that would probably never happen.

Wrangling a ride to Amphipolis hadn't been as easy as Gabrielle had thought it would be. Good thing she was at least a little knowledgeable with tales. It had earned her a ride. And just in time as the moment she had entered the tavern, it was clear Xena was in trouble. Did it matter why the villagers were attempting to harm her? It wasn't even the fact Gabrielle craved adventure. It was the fact Xena was in trouble. And somehow the woman already held something beyond fascination for they young woman.

It had taken surprisingly little for Gabrielle to talk the villagers into allowing her to save Xena. It was probably because of something she already suspected. What was that? Basically good people didn't want to harm others. Even if they thought someone or something was toxic, they would rather talk things out. They would rather resort to nonviolent methods. She could relate, as she hadn't even held a sword. Handing Xena her sword was the first time she'd touched one.

Riding behind Xena was beyond words. Why? She was just an ordinary women, wasn't she? Gabrielle shook her head as she could feel the warrior's warmth through her leathers. All she wanted to do was lean her head against the strong back. All she wanted to was to snuggle with Xena, each and every night. She blushed at the thought. Though it wasn't more than as friendship. And keeping warm. And companionship, wasn't it?

Waiting was not something Gabrielle was good at. Patience was not something she was good at. Even though she knew she should give Xena her privacy, she couldn't help walking into the chamber that held Xena's brother. The fact Xena was as lost and confused as she was surprised her. There was one thing she knew for certain. And she had to respond. Even if it was simple, she had to let Xena know exactly what it was she was feeling. "You're not alone."

Why had they detoured back through the village? Gabrielle wasn't certain. She knew it was dangerous. If the people had attempted to stone Xena before, what would they do now if there was further trouble? And that was when the fight had taken place. The fact Draco should have lost had pissed off Gabrielle. The way the man had kept his boss from touching the ground. It was only fair play that she had accidentally tripped the same man. And called out when the man had attempted to take out Xena.

Even after saving Xena, Gabrielle found herself alone. She'd managed to find Xena's trail. But she couldn't start a fire. She hadn't any supplies left. They were long gone. So what was a simple village girl to do? It was time she was true to herself. And what did that mean? It meant she would be whatever it was Xena needed. And the thing that Xena needed the most was exactly the same thing that Gabrielle needed. And that was a friend.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

So much pain. How had she enjoyed inflicting so much pain and destruction? Xena closed her eyes as the memories washed over her. It was just another village she was riding through. And yet, it could be and was a village she had destroyed. It had a name, but could she recall it? The chants. That's what she remembered. The victory. The dinars. But most of all, how it felt to lead all those men and women. How she seemed indestructible.

It was a lesson she had to learn the hard way. It was that damned baby. Had her men not wanted to kill the baby, she might never have been forced through the gauntlet. Had she not been through the gauntlet, she might not have been ready for the lessons Hercules had begun to instill within. And she had thanked him the only way she knew how. It wasn't so much she was attracted physically to him. And she had cared, on a certain level.

It was one of her major weapons. While her signature weapon was her chakram, her feminine wiles were what had gained her so much over the seasons. It was what had taken so much away as well. But those were secrets she intended on remaining buried. While part of her wanted to revisit some of her past, she would be damned if she ever did. For it would place certain individuals in danger. And she wasn't that person anymore. Or at least she fervently hoped she wasn't that person anymore.

And then there was the boy. Xena hadn't much to spare. Yet, she had more than a young kid could hope for. Especially if it was at her or one of her men's blades that the boy had become an orphan. So what were a piece of bread and cheese? The ex-warlord had to move on. She had to ride hard. There was no way she could do what she had anymore. The negative outweighed what could be gained for keeping fighting, didn't it? Besides, the reminders were far too painful.

And yet, as she had watched from the bushes, Xena couldn't help but see how frightened the villagers had been. Who could blame them. She was certain she knew who the slavers worked for. The colors were obvious it was her old friend, loosely termed, Draco. If these innocents were to fall into his clutches, they would be better off dead. If it weren't for her strength, she would have been dead and not left Draco with that constant reminder.

But what had caused her to act? It was the girl. The one who had offered herself so that the others could be safe. There was a part of the young girl that reminded her of Lyceus. Her younger brother would forever be in her heart. He would have fought against this. He would have fought against any injustice. And had. It had cost him his life. She couldn't allow standing up for oneself to cost the young woman her life. So she had acted.

And as was her way, partly it was skill and partly it was luck with which she had defeated her foes. The headache and injury that was now being tended to was because of Gabrielle. The annoying, young girl had captured her. Xena had frozen during a fight. It was something she had rarely, if ever done. She knew she had to keep moving. Or what had happened would happen. But why her? What was it about Gabrielle? Was it her eyes? Was it her fighting spirit? Was it her naivety?

Whatever it was had the poor creature wanting to tagalong. There was no way Xena could allow for that. Already too many people had been hurt because of her. She wasn't about to allow Gabrielle to become hurt, whether it be physically or emotionally. Besides, the young girl had a family. She had a betrothed. In other words, Gabrielle had a life. And it would never include Xena in it. There was no way they could travel together. They were far too different.

And yet, Xena had to stop by and warn Draco away from Gabrielle's home village. Was it the wisest move? Perhaps not as now Draco knew Xena cared for something. Just like he knew she wanted to go home. That she wanted to be accepted there. Would she be? The likelihood of that was nearly zero, but she had to try. She had shamed her village, and more importantly, her mother beyond measure. The first step to her redemption would be through her mother.

After having easily defeated the cyclops, Xena couldn't help but hear Gabrielle's voice. The young girl was quite the talker. And though it had been nothing, she could somehow hear Gabrielle turning it into an epic battle. How was it Xena was already missing an annoying young thing? How was it, if she allowed herself to admit it, craved the sound of her voice? Xena sighed. This was so not like her. She feared it would get her into more trouble than she could handle.

And that's what she had found in Amphipolis. Not because Xena wasn't stronger. Not because she couldn't handle whatever nearly anyone threw at her. Whether any of them believed her or not, she had to tell them Draco was the one after the village. But no one believed her. Not even her own mother. She had no daughter. The words had cut deeply. So the stones being thrown had barely even stung. Even when the full hatred was behind them, the fact her mother wanted nothing to do with her hurt beyond words.

And then, Gabrielle. It had been interesting. In all her time as a warlord, there were very few times that anyone had come to her rescue. There were two times that stood out. And that she wished she had allowed for the feelings evoked to change her hardened heart. But that was the past. This was the present. She had a chance, once again, to allow someone in. But could she? Even after Gabrielle had told her she was not alone, could she allow for it?

For some reason, with Gabrielle supporting her, once again going through Amphipolis felt right. She couldn't leave them unprotected, should Draco continue to want to what? Teach her that one can't go home. That people won't allow you to change. Especially the ones you've shamed the most. And if her mother never accepted she had changed, then she could fully understand. It would hurt, but the shame was too much for one person to bear.

The fight had been…While some would have called it epic, Xena would have called it a minor inconvenience. But the best part had been how the village had changed their tune. They had seen how she was attempting to change. That it wasn't she who had burned their fields. And she was fighting for what was right. And in this case, she had a little help. Or at least she had Gabrielle evening the odds in her favor. It had been enough to defeat Draco and have him swear to leave Amphipolis forever.

When she'd heard the noises, Xena was certain it was her new friend. Why had she consistently threatened to leave her behind? Because she couldn't allow for Gabrielle to become hurt. And yet, the way it had felt having Gabrielle hold her as they rode together…It was something Xena could not put into words. Never had a person's touch affected her so. Never had a person affected her so. So what was she to do now that Gabrielle was out there? Most likely freezing?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Friend. It was a foreign concept for Xena. She had wanted Gabrielle to ride behind her. For one, it would make their time traveling easier. It would save time. But her new friend wasn't exactly fond of Argo. And it seemed Argo wasn't thrilled with sharing, either. Not that Xena could blame her horse. They had been through quite a bit the past few seasons. Some good. Some not so good. It came down to who one could trust. And the only one Xena could was the horse she rode upon

The other reason, and the one that concerned the warrior, was the fact it had felt so good to have Gabrielle's arms wrapped around her. It was a luxury she couldn't afford. Having a friend was not the wisest of moves. If something were to ever come between them more than friendship, her new friend would have a target upon her. In fact, she would be a walking target. It was something Xena could not, nor would never, allow to happen.

And there was the third reason. Allowing anyone in. There was no way in Tartarus Xena could allow this friendship, or whatever it was, to grow into anything more. There were two times she had allowed for that. One had cost her her life and dove Xena into a darkness she was still struggling to emerge from. The other had attempted to save her, but the enticing path of darkness and power were too much for the warrior to overcome. Perhaps in another lifetime, it could have been enough to turn her around.

Azure eyes closed as Xena knew it was closing in on time. Another day of travel and she would have to forage for whatever she could find. Her mother had fortified some of her travel rations, but now there were two of them she needed to take care of. Argo, for the most part, could see to herself. But Gabrielle couldn't even start a fire, much less forage for herself. The warrior sighed inwardly, careful not to allow any emotions to show.

After all, Xena needed for her façade to remain the same. She needed for Gabrielle to believe that there was a real threat she would leave her in the next village or send her home with a traveling caravan. But deep down, she knew. There was nothing that would keep her new friend away. And part of her was grateful. And part of her knew this relationship would lead to trouble for the both of them. "I think here's as good as any spot."

Gabrielle stopped immediately. She had been growing tired of walking. In fact, she had thought about asking to ride behind her new friend. There was something about Xena. Was it the fact she knew how to take care of herself? Was it she didn't seem afraid of anything? Was it she was able to take out a dozen men on her own? Or was it more? Having only been around those in the village, she wasn't certain what to think of someone who was so bold and exuded self-confidence.

"If you think this is a good place. I've not been camping, much. So I'll have to rely on you. However, I can cook just about anything. If you want to keep going, I can walk for another hour or two." Gabrielle knew it wasn't true. Her feet were killing her. Hours working in the fields or tending sheep or doing laundry or whatever other menial task hadn't prepared her for an entire day's walk. And she knew Xena had been holding back.

Was it because Xena was sweet? No one, perhaps with the exception of Cyrene, would agree with that statement. Gabrielle already could tell something about her new friend. Even though it was only now setting on their first official day together, she knew there was this façade. Some would call it stoic. Some would call it a warrior's face. Whatever it was, it hid well what was deep within the amazing woman. And Gabrielle planned on penetrating the armor. But knew it would have to be done in baby steps.

There was a momentary dent in the armor. A look was upon the warrior's face Gabrielle had never seen. It took less than two blinks of an eye for the look to disappear. But it had been there, of that Gabrielle was certain. She knew she couldn't comment on it. But she tucked it away, if only to attempt to understand what she had said that had garnered her the reaction. And perhaps continue doing the same, or at least something similar.

"You'll need to be able to walk in the morning. The next village we arrive in…" Xena trailed off. There was a look of determination in her young friend's eyes. For a brief moment, her façade once again failed. She allowed the fact it would actually hurt to see Gabrielle leave to show. But it wasn't long before Xena had regained control of her emotions. "Fine. But you best be able to keep up with me from now on. Even ride from time to time."

Had Xena been teasing? Gabrielle knew she had seen something once gain in those amazing azure eyes. But what? "How about this. I walk most of the time, but ride when it's bad weather or we need to get somewhere in a hurry?" Xena's answer was a grunt as she readied her bow and arrow. "You get whatever you can to eat. I'll have the camp setup by the time you get back." When Xena hesitated, Gabrielle gave that smile.

The one that had melted the warrior's heart while they were sat around the campfire that first night together. There was something about Gabrielle. She was naïve, innocent and pure. And yet, she had this wisdom about her few people had. In some ways, she was a combination of the two women that had influenced Xena the most. The warrior shook her head as she wordlessly took her bow, arrow and her knife. Of course her sword was at her side and her chakram on her hip.

Gabrielle watched as her new friend walked into the already darkening woods. There was a part of her that was afraid. Not of Xena. She would never fear the warrior. Would she fear the darkness inside her? It was something she wasn't certain of. And yet, she was certain she was meant to be with her. To walk beside her. How? It was something she couldn't explain. Not yet. Perhaps because she hadn't lived enough, at least not outside of life in her home village.

As Gabrielle went about making camp, starting with gathering firewood and starting a fire on her first try, her thoughts were of home. Perdicus didn't enter her mind. It wasn't even her parents that she thought about. It was Lila. Her younger sister had looked up to her. And she was right when she had said even Lila could beat up Gabrielle. It was not necessarily the fact Lila was stronger. It was the fact Lila, even at a younger age, seemed to know who she was. What she wanted. Wasn't a dreamer like Gabrielle.

Everything was ready, including the fact Xena's bedroll was on one side of the fire, Gabrielle's on the opposite side. While the first night could have been because it had been a surprise, Gabrielle sensed the warrior wanted to distance herself, at least to a certain extent. It was a way to maintain those walls Xena had erected. They had come down only around her brother and around her mother. Cyrene could tell her so much. And she was back in Amphipolis. When would they even see her again?

That was when Gabrielle heard it. It wasn't an animal. How she knew, she wasn't certain. But there was a sound almost like footsteps. It could have been Xena, but the young woman knew. Knew her friend was a warrior and could sneak up on anyone. And her reflexes when Gabrielle had decided to take a chance on entering her camp…The young woman shuddered to think about what could have happened if not for Xena seemingly knowing who she was.

"We're here for Xena." Gabrielle swallowed as ten warriors emerged from the woods. The firelight managed to light up their eyes. She could see they were determined. They were what she would term as bloodthirsty. "You won't get hurt if you just play nice and let her come to us. Now shut up and don't say a word." When one of the men made his way towards the waterskin she had filled, Gabrielle stood in his way. "Look, Blondie, just sit this out before you get hurt badly."

"Wait." Gabrielle held up her hands. "You're going about this all wrong. Xena is out there hunting. And she's expecting me to have camp ready. Think about it. She's trusted me with cooking for her. For basically taking care of her." The men shifted as if beginning to realize what Gabrielle was attempting to get across. "If you hide in the woods, perhaps the trees, you can get the drop on her. All that I ask is that you give me a small amount of the reward. Just so I can return home."

Gabrielle knew these men and what they wanted. They would kill her in a heartbeat after they had taken care of Xena. They would kill one another, until there was one man left standing. It was a gamble. And yet, it wasn't. After all, she was betting that Xena was already out there. Waiting for the right time to strike. She only hoped her new friend realized exactly what she was doing. Which was? Stalling until Xena could make her move.

"I think that's reasonable." The man who had done all the talking came closer. "You need to make it look good. Like nothing is out of the ordinary." Gabrielle nodded as she attempted not to swallow hard. Even standing up to the slavers hadn't caused her this much fear. But why? Because there was the possibility that Xena wouldn't understand. That she would think the worst of Gabrielle. And who could blame her with the people she had had in her life?

As Gabrielle attempted the ordinary that only consisted of one night, she wondered where Xena was. While not knowing her at all, she knew enough to know it shouldn't take a warrior this long to hunt whatever she was hunting. Just after Gabrielle had poured some water into a pan to bring it to a boil, she heard a bird call. It was funny. There hadn't been any birds. And the fact the men were now up in the trees and had scared off the birds caused Gabrielle to inwardly smile.

An unfamiliar whistling sound caused Gabrielle to jump to her feet. She held the cooking knife out as if it were a sword. She knew how silly it was. The men had swords and other weapons. Xena had a sword and that round weapon she had at her side. It was then that Gabrielle realized what she was hearing. She jumped as one by one the men fell from the trees. Xena came summersaulting through the air, easily catching the round weapon.

The men managed to stumble to their feet. By that time, Xena had already retrieved the rope from her saddlebags. She moved with the speed and grace Gabrielle had become accustomed to. Soon, the men were tied together. It wasn't long before they were dragged several feet from the campsite. Each was gagged, except the leader, before they were tied to a large tree. Gabrielle had watched, wanting to help. Instead, she remained distanced and yet close enough to see and hear everything.

Xena stood before the leader. "I don't seem to recognize any of you. That means either you are new to the world of being scum or you were never big enough to be in my sights. Either way, it doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not you are working for someone." Xena stared into the eyes of the leader. In a swift move, she jabbed the man's neck. "You have thirty seconds to live. Tell me who sent you. Or were you stupid enough to think this up on your own."

The man struggled. His face turned red. He struggled to move. As his eyes grew wide, he finally managed to speak. "It was me. I talked everyone into it." Just as he was about to gasp, Xena moved quickly once again. She jabbed his neck in the same manner as she had before. The man began gasping. "You bitch! I should have killed you…" Before he could finish the statement, Xena had struck him on the side of the neck. He was instantly unconscious.

"Come with me." Xena gagged the man before making her way back to camp. Nothing was disturbed. The fire was dwindling so the warrior tossed a few of the firewood Gabrielle had gathered. Her new friend made her way to the fire. Xena noticed how she was shivering. And knew it wasn't only from the cold. Not certain what to do, the warrior pointed towards her bedroll. It took a moment for Gabrielle to comply, but she sat.

Instead of sitting next to Gabrielle, Xena retrieved her friend's bedroll. While she was becoming chilled as well, especially after the exertion of the fight, Xena wrapped the bedroll around her friend. She maintained her distance as she sat next to Gabrielle. "This is why I never wanted you to follow me." Xena was now staring off into the distance. It was why she hadn't wanted Lyceus to come with her. And yet if it hadn't been for her brother supporting her need to fight Cortese…

"Things are only going to get worse." Xena's gaze remained focused on the flames. They were now burning brighter, illuminating the small circle she found herself in. It included Gabrielle and Argo. The two she now knew she could count on. But could she continue to place Gabrielle in danger? "There was no bloodshed. This time." Azure eyes found her hands. There was so much blood on her hands. It would never wash off, no matter how hard she tried.

And just like that, Gabrielle stopped shivering. It hadn't been the fact there was potential for bloodshed. After watching Xena fight and the fact a man had been killed in front of her, she knew what the stakes were. That she could very well end up harmed, if not worse. It had been fear Xena wouldn't have understood what she had attempted to do. It was fear that Xena would actually send her back or leave her at whatever village they came across next.

But that wasn't true, at least the part where Xena believed the words she had spoken. Gabrielle had known, deep down, that Xena would understand. Still, there had been that indescribable terror that her new friend would send her back. It was a fear that would always exist. Or would it? Only time would tell on how far their relationship would develop and how quickly. Now was the time to put Xena at ease. If she could find the right words.

"Let me tell you a story." Gabrielle closed her eyes, fear of the reaction Xena might have. "There once was a warrior. He had trained since he was a boy. It was the only life he had known." It was a story Gabrielle had heard on the lone time she was allowed to travel with her father. It was in a village she had no clue the name of. Her father had become drunk and she had been on her own. She had listened while the bard had related the story. She only hoped it would help and not hinder the situation.

"When he reached the age of sixteen, he let home. He sought out a place in Ares' army. There was something about the young man and the God of War gladly accepted him. Soon, the young man had risen to captain. It wouldn't be long until he had risen to the rank of general and would be gifted with his own army." Gabrielle could hear Xena's breathing increase. She wondered if it was her words. Had Xena trained since she was a youth?

There were stories about how Xena had come to be the great warrior she was. But no one knew. It seemed those closest to her were either dead or they hated her. Or in Cyrene's case, were still coming to the terms Xena had changed. And was doing everything in her power to stick with her vow. The vow to make up for shaming her mother. For shaming her village. Gabrielle suspected there was more to it than only that and hoped one day she'd be told the complete story.

"And then Aphrodite decided she would meddle in her brother's plans. And it meant meddling with mortals." Gabrielle saw a look flicker across Xena's face. Once again that stoic façade was replaced with emotions Gabrielle had never seen before. "Aphrodite sent a young innocent girl to the young man, who was now closing in on twenty. Some had joked he was beyond his prime already. And when the young woman entered his tent, it was as if he heard bells or something."

A small smile was on Xena's face before she could stop it. She had to admit Gabrielle was quite the storyteller, if nothing else. It was something she could perhaps encourage, in subtle ways. It would give her young friend direction. And sadly, it could be a way for Xena to leave her somewhere. If Gabrielle had her stories, then she could make her way in the world. She could take care of herself. The smile was gone and there was a coldness in her eyes.

The coldness caused Gabrielle to pause for a moment, worried she was making a mistake. "The young woman and the young man were married. They lived for several moons together, until one day the young man's army were called to take over the young woman's village. He at first refused. She told him to do whatever it was that would make him happy. So the young man resigned his commission. Before leaving, they returned to her home village to gather her meager belongings."

Gabrielle paused for a moment. "The young woman's brother entered her bedroom. Instead of waiting for an explanation, he saw his enemy. The young man had not taken the time to remove the armor he always wore. The two men fought. The young woman attempted to tell her brother it was a mistake when the young man drew blood." Once again, Xena's breathing increased. Even in the firelight, Gabrielle could see Xena's nostrils flaring.

"At first, the young woman was stunned. And after they had managed to escape the village with her belongings and her brothers body, she realized what had happened." Gabrielle paused for a moment. "As they stood beside her brother's funeral pyre, she told her husband she loved him and forgave him. She only hoped that one day he would forgive himself. In her heart, she knew that would never happen. They lived their lives together, but her husband was always reserved. Never would raise a sword."

"It cost him his wife as one day one of his former soldiers, on Ares' orders, came to confront him." Gabrielle swallowed. The story had affected her as much as a youth as it was now. "He refused, until the moment his wife had perished. He went berserk. What he did to the man…" Gabrielle shuddered. How the bard had gone into detail. She would not. Even though Xena had probably done much worse in her darkest days, Gabrielle couldn't bring herself to think it let alone repeat it.

"So you see, I understand more than you think I do." Gabrielle gently brushed the bedroll from her body. She went to the fire. Without a word, she brought the water to a boil. She was waiting to see what Xena would do. It took a moment before her new friend retrieved the rabbit she had managed to catch for their supper. It wasn't long before it was cooking. And it was the first night of a new routine. Not only how camp was setup and run. But also how they would slowly, piece by piece, learn everything there was about one another.


	2. Chapter 2

I sometimes look back and laugh at my younger self. It wasn't so much how I didn't realize or allow myself to admit the growing attraction I had to my soulmate. Why did I amuse myself so? It was the romantic in me. It was the person who looked for the good in everyone and in every situation. Sometimes it was a good thing. Sometimes not so much. But seeing the numerous men I allowed to 'turn my head' still gives me reason to laugh. I don't think my everything was so amused at the time. And even as I pen this, she reading over my shoulder, I don't think she's amused.

Or is she? She just swatted me on the behind before laughing. Her nightly ritual has begun. Even though she hasn't picked up her sword in many moons, she still sharpens and cleans it each night. Same with her trusty chakram. In some ways, it's good to know some things never change. In other ways, I'm glad I grew up. I'm glad we admitted our feelings. I'm glad we learned from our pasts and have built what we have. But again, I'm getting ahead of myself…

Chariots of War

It was difficult for Gabrielle to speak of her emotions. While she knew her new friend had them, Xena was also a warrior. She was stoic. She kept those feelings buried deep within so that no one could use them against her. It didn't always work. And sometimes Gabrielle could see through those times when Xena was masking her feelings.

But when Gabrielle had related the story of the two lovers, Xena had practically been mocking her. It had hurt, in a way, to think the warrior was that coldhearted. Not coldhearted, so much as closed off from those kinds of feelings. Why? Was it the fact Gabrielle dreamed of her soulmate each night? It was a faceless, shapeless figure that gave her untold warmth, comfort and safety.

The thought Xena would lead a life of solitude, outside of Gabrielle's companionship and perhaps mother's love caused great sadness. Gabrielle wanted so much more for her warrior princess. But would Xena ever want more for herself? Want more for Gabrielle?

And here they were once again. Gabrielle was at least waving and Xena looking back at her. This time there was a promise of only a day or so of separation as Xena rode ahead. And yet, Gabrielle's heart was aching. Or was that her soul? The bard shook her head. She had time to kill. While she wasn't in the greatest of taverns, it wasn't quite as unsavory as the last place they had left.

And yet, there was the drunk. The one who wouldn't leave her alone. Normally using Xena's name was enough to ward off whatever unwanted advances came her way. Or in the last case, being eaten. And then there he was. Gabrielle hadn't even thought about it. She had seen him sitting there. His eyes were kind. While he wore the outfit of a potential warrior, there was something soft about him.

And he had been gallant. He had allowed her to use him so that she could rid herself of the drunk. Sitting on his lap was different than when she had done so with Perdicus. Was it because he was a stranger and this was supposed to be an incredible no-no? Or was this man potentially the tree in the forest she had been seeking? Anything was possible.

But if he was Gabrielle's tree, she would have to leave Xena. The thought nearly crushed her. Nearly crushed her soul. It was silly how close she had come to Xena in such a short time, wasn't it? Or were there just those you were meant to be friends with. That you needed to be with more than anything in the world. If that was the case, leaving Xena one day would be impossible to do.

Yet watching this dark and dangerous young man leave had not been as difficult as Gabrielle had thought. In fact, he had practically run away at the description of Xena. But then, who could blame him? Xena was an impressive warrior. She could fight off anyone. And she had so many talents that Gabrielle had yet to witness. She couldn't wait to see all that Xena had to offer her.

As Gabrielle sat around the campfire, she couldn't help but wonder where Xena was. Had this been a ruse? Had this been the time to leave her behind like she had thought wouldn't actually happen? She shivered at the thought. How she missed one of Xena's catches. Whether it was a fish or other delectable morsel, it seemed to cook better when her friend caught it. She had attempted to catch something herself, but had failed miserably. It was something else she would need Xena to one day teach her.

It had been too long since Xena had been gone. In the morning, she would attempt to find Xena's trail. For now, she needed to attempt to get some sleep. And hope the meager meal she had managed to pay for at the inn would keep her until she once again met up with her friend. As she wrapped herself tightly in her bedrolls, she noticed how quiet the camp was. Odd. Since her warrior was quiet, even in her sleep.

It took forever to find her warrior. When Gabrielle did, Xena explained she was in trouble. And what was more, she wanted to leave her somewhere. Why? There was always danger. Just being Xena's traveling companion placed her in that kind of danger. While there would be times it would be better if Gabrielle remained somewhere, something was telling the young woman she was needed wherever it was Xena was heading.

Why had Gabrielle rambled on so? Why had she spoken of the stranger from the bar like she could marry and have kids with. That he could be her tree? And to almost say she didn't want to end up alone like Xena…Gabrielle was actually grateful for the interruption. But she wasn't glad for having to ride Argo. It was clear the horse didn't care for her one bit. It wasn't that she wasn't fond of her, it was…It was a story for another time.

Gabrielle couldn't believe how naïve and stupid she had been. Well, not stupid so much as naïve. She had thought the man was honorable. And in a way, he could be. After all, he had said his father made him do things he didn't want to do. And that jump. Could she have been any worse? She would have to practice her great escapes. After all, she was with Xena now. Well not with her with her but traveling with her.

And the talk. As they stood, Xena having taken out Sphareus' father, Gabrielle wondered what her new friend would say to her. And there was the realization. It wasn't Sphareus that she had been attracted to. It was the thought of someone who was her tree. It had caused her to want him to be that. Without even knowing a thing about him. It wasn't even his somewhat dark past as Xena had one. It was…

Saying goodbye to Sphareus wasn't as difficult as Gabrielle had thought it would be. A little awkward, but other than that it was…It was as if she was leaving behind a part of her past. Albeit brief past. It wasn't unlike leaving Perdicus behind. It wasn't unlike leaving her village behind. While each would hold a place in her heart always, there was something more for her out there.

And the fact Gabrielle, at least for a short time, was destined to travel with Xena. Yes, good could be found in unlikely places. She'd discovered that as a youth. And she had discovered it in a clearing not far from her village. In their first real adventure together, they had discovered beauty when there could have been destruction. It was as simple as taking a chance. It was as simple as living and learning. And what would Gabriele continue to learn on her travels with Xena?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Two lovers being trees? Xena couldn't see it. Nor could she see herself or anyone intertwined for eternity. She knew her new friend would be a hopeless romantic. Though her only romantic entanglements were far from memorable. Each had affected her in a different way. Some in good ways. Some in not. There was only one good thing that had truly come of any of them. It was a secret that must remained buried. Even from Gabrielle.

Xena shook off the memories thoughts of the past caused to float to the surface. It wasn't the negative memories, though those were the ones that hit her the hardest. There was a time before Lyceus had perished in battle that were pleasant enough. When Toris, Lyceus and herself had been a family, along with their mother. Only thing missing had been their father. He had only been an idea Xena had never even known.

Forget her? Xena shook her head as she rode off. There was no way she would ever forget Gabrielle. And there was no way she would ever leave her. While every so often she made the empty threat to do so, the young woman had engrained herself into the warior's…Heart? Soul? Did I matter which? All that mattered was Gabrielle wasn't about to be left anywhere.

But the sounds. Xena knew there was trouble. She had to help. And when she saw the boy was in trouble, it caused her to leap into action. Was it a reminder of what she had missed with her own son? The fact it had been how many seasons and she had not seen any of his important moments in life? There was no way she would allow whoever this boy's parents were to miss out on all that she had.

Her instincts were spot on. The arrows had easily been caught. But then, there was the searing pain. How many times had she unfortunately felt a similar pain over the years? How many scars were her body riddled by? It was always so difficult to give into the pain. And yet, eventually her body always had to. And why she had fallen from her horse. Why she had awoken in the strange bed.

Being without her weapons was new to her. True, Xena had recently attempted to bury her weapons. But that hadn't lasted long as she had needed to come to the aid of her new friend and her friends. And with an unknown element attempting to harm this little village, she wasn't much use to them without her weapons. She wasn't like Gabrielle who was armed with words instead of weapons.

Talking Darius through how to tend her wound wasn't the easiest. It wasn't only the fact the pain was causing her to nearly lose consciousness. It was the intimacy of the moment. Very few had seen her this helpless. Very few had been trusted to heal a wound. Whether it was because he was a family man or if it was because she was merely desperate, Xena was uncertain.

And the kids. Xena wasn't certain how to deal with them. Scaring them had been fun, in a way. But she didn't want them scared of her. Scared of becoming dark as she had once been, perhaps. But not scared of her now. It was how she wanted Gabrielle. It was amazing to realize that with only a short time together how much she wanted Gabrielle to be with her.

The young girl especially reminded her of Gabrielle. Innocent. Yet, there was an inner strength. Even without speaking, the young girl exuded something. She only hoped one day she would find her voice. Both literally and metaphorically. After all, it was an impossible world they lived in. Being silent was the worst thing one could do.

Overhearing the conversation had told Xena what she always knew would happen. No matter where she went, she wouldn't be welcomed. There were too many tales of her dark past that would follow her. Perhaps one day, people wouldn't fear the name Xena. Destroyer of Nations. Warrior Princess. Perhaps one day they would equate it with the woman she was slowly becoming. With the help of a friend.

Leaving had been the right thing. Xena could do more for the tiny village if she left. It was her reputation that would attract more of the wrong kind of attention. Besides, she could do what she did for Gabrielle's home village. And what was that? She could attempt to stop the plundering before it started. Before they stepped in the village. Besides, there was Gabrielle waiting for her somewhere.

And that was when she heard it. Xena knew without looking. It was what she would do. She would hit the village where it hurt them the most. First, there was the food supplies. Then it would be the water. Whatever else she could do to gain control. Even if it was only temporary, she would make certain she got everything she could out of one place.

Peace? These kinds of people didn't want peace. The only thing that caused Xena to hesitate, to agree to the meeting, was Darius' words. She had once been like them. Something had caused her to change. Was she so different? While it was true sometimes there was no changing certain people, there were those that only needed that one action. That one word. That one something that could cause them to change.

Perhaps among those after the village, there was that one person. The one who could see the light. Who could then talk the others down. And there wouldn't have to be bloodshed. That there could be peace. It was something she hoped to one day see in the known world as a whole. But knew it wouldn't happen in her lifetime. Too many were set in their ways.

Slipping into a dead woman's dress was not something Xena had been prepared for. The fighting, that was second nature. Negotiating was something she had learned, if only because it was akin to blackmailing. Plus, it had put those she was attempting to get whatever she could from at ease. But she'd almost always done it in one of her warrior outfits.

Not exactly true as certain images flowed through her mind. And the way Darius had looked at Xena…It wasn't something she wanted. It wasn't something she needed. She already had a similar look from a certain blonde who was probably worried sick about her. And who wouldn't leave Xena's thoughts.

Xena was glad she had remained for the meeting. However, she wasn't glad she had agreed to leave her weapons behind or wear the dress. It had been ruined. Just like the chances of peace. But what else was she supposed to do? Allow these men to slaughter innocent people? Didn't Darius see what was happening?

The pain of war. The words had cut Xena and caused her to pause for a moment. She knew the pains of war. Not the war she had waged as a ruthless killer. But the war she had waged when attempting to defend her home village. Fighting beside Lyceus. The only thing missing would have been fighting beside Toris. Perhaps that would have changed things. Or maybe they should have attempted peace? As Darius had said, they would never know now.

Walking out on the children, even if it was for their protection and that of the village, was difficult to do. But Xena had to what she had. There was no way she could allow the war to touch them. Especially she couldn't allow it to touch them like it had Lyceus. And she was sorry for Darius. She knew she had reminded him a little of his wife. Walking out on him, for that reason, wasn't easy.

But what made it that much more easy? Finding Gabrielle. And the way Gabrielle wouldn't back down. The fact she gave her a difficult time for finding trouble. It was…It was like what she had with Lyceus, in some ways. If nothing else, she was discovering one thing fast. While she might never have the family she had growing up with Lyceus, Toris and her mother, she had Gabrielle. And that was more than enough to fill the void that had been missing all these seasons. Hence how easy it had been to apologize for worrying Gabrielle.

Using Gabrielle to distract the men hadn't been easy. But it had been necessary. Placing Gabrielle in that kind of danger. And when she had nearly fallen to the ground and been trampled instead of making the leap, it had caused something in her heart to pound. Hence the way she had yelled at her young friend.

How could Xena have been so distracted she left her chakram behind? It was a special weapon. It was the one she had been given when she had become a certain god's chosen. While she didn't always regret her time with Ares, she knew it was part of the reason she had become so evil. Why she had become so bloodthirsty. But the weapon, it meant as much to her as Argo. And now how much Gabrielle was.

Fighting Gabrielle's supposed tree? How had it come to this? Xena knew they had to have more than a talk about her choice in men. It was giving in too easily to her need for something. After all, it was Xena's need to fight. Then her need for vengeance that had taken her on the dark path she had journeyed on for so long. If she could ease Gabrielle some of the heartache and growing pains, perhaps it would make up for some of her past misdeeds.

Another death. But it had led to peace. Gabrielle's tree in the forest had seen to that. Had more lives being lost, even the kind Xena had taken been worth it? When she looked at the children having fun, it was more than worth it. And she would continue to do what she could to make the lives of those in villages like this one better, safer and more content.

And what did Xena mean when she'd found her happiness? The fact there had been a family, not unlike what she had grown up with. It wasn't her family, but it could one day be hers again. One day. When she was ready. And with the right person, she could finally settle down. Maybe, once she had redeemed herself. Sadly, that day may never come. She had far too much to make up for.

But the fact Xena was traveling with someone, who accepted her, faults and all, was a start. And she knew she would have to stop threatening to leave Gabrielle in the next village. Or send her home. For there was one thing she already knew. Once again, Gabrielle was her family. Or could be, if they continued to trust one another. Fight alongside one another. And to teach each other what they knew.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"You don't have to say a word." Gabrielle was sore. It was partially from the frantic leap. Partially it was from the accident she had caused. That was merely physical pain. It was something she was accustomed to. Being a laborer on a farm, she was used to doing things that would cause her to ache and bleed.

What she wasn't accustomed to was aches of the heart. But what had Gabrielle wondering was if this ache was over a man or if it had to do with the fact Xena had been disappointed in her. It had been crystal clear in her voice. And from the way she had said they needed to talk about her choice in men. Nothing more need be said as far as Gabrielle was concerned.

"I think I do." Xena pulled up on the reins. They had been traveling with what light had remained after their latest little adventure. One that had her sore and cursing the fact she had somehow missed the third arrow. While it was true she only had two hands, her reaction time used to be so she could use her mouth or drop the arrows and use her hands once again.

It was time to stop. She just wished they'd made better time. Xena sighed. It wasn't only her once again holding back so that Gabrielle didn't feel bad, it was because her own body still ached. The arrow wound would be sore for the next moon, at least. It was the tumble they had taken. She had been attempting to brace Gabrielle from the fallout, but had failed miserably.

How many times would she fail? Xena shook her head. There was no way of preventing it all, at least not while the kid remained basically defenseless. Yes, Gabrielle was a talker. And in some cases, being a talker was all that was needed. But in others, a sword or some other weapon was the only thing someone understood. Xena had once been that way.

"Why don't I get us something to eat while you prepare camp." Xena also needed to prepare what she needed to say. She could tell Gabrielle wasn't dealing with what had happened very easily. And the way Xena had spoken to her was one of the reasons. But what other could there be? This friendship thing was turning out more difficult than Xena had thought it would ever be.

Without a word, Gabrielle went about her business. Xena inwardly sighed. What was she to say to her friend? To make certain Gabrielle understood. It wasn't necessarily a reflection upon the young woman. It was her youth. It was her inexperience. That even Xena had many regrets over the past few seasons when it came to her supposed romantic liaisons.

It was only a matter of moments before Xena had caught two fish from the stream. Catching them usually calmed her. It normally helped her to focus her thoughts. At the moment, her thoughts were anything but focused. One moment, they were on how easily she had fallen for the notion of a family. The next, how jealous she was Gabrielle might have found her tree. And how lonely her life would be without the young woman.

And how her life wasn't so lonely with Gabrielle in it. How the time she'd spent with the family had been so much like the time she spent with Gabrielle. Xena knew these were dangerous times. That these kinds of feelings could lead to something so much more. They had in the past. At least, twice they had. She couldn't, nor she wouldn't, allow that to happen. Not again. It cost too much in the past.

As Xena made her way into camp, quiet as she always was, she thought she could hear something. It was something she hadn't heard since before she had left Amphipolis. It had been the soft sound of a heart breaking. At the time, it had been her mother who had been the one crying. Crying for her son. Crying for her daughter. And crying for a way of life ending.

Gabrielle had attempted not to cry. It wasn't from what had happened with Sphareus. Though it had been a learning experience, it had been the thought of disappointing Xena. Of upsetting her in anyway. It really was that simple. And it was causing her to fear once again the possibility that she could be sent away or left somewhere.

It was unusual, but there was the snapping of a twig. Gabrielle quickly wiped the tears from her face before she leaned closer to the fire. She had been prepared for fish. Their camp was near the stream and it made sense Xena would attempt to fish before attempting to catch whatever wild game she could come across. "If you've cleaned them, I can begin to cook them."

A shadow cast over the petite form before the fish were handed to Gabrielle. There were no words spoken as the young woman prepared the fish. She wished she had her sister's special seasonings. Perhaps in one of the larger villages she could procure some. Dinars not being something she came by easily; trade might have to be the way.

It wasn't until after they had eaten and Xena was doing her usual that she decided to speak. Gabrielle had begun the ritual of writing. Xena wasn't certain if they were stories or a private journal. Either way, she hoped she would be privy to what was written one day. In another, she hoped she wouldn't. It would be too intimate. It would possibly bring them closer.

"First, thank you for cooking. It's nice to eat something that isn't charred." When she only received a shrug in response, Xena knew this was going to be a more difficult conversation than she had first anticipated. Might as well get it over with. The worst case scenario nearly crippled Xena. And yet, if Gabrielle were to one day leave her, it would be for the best.

"Look, about what I said." Xena continued polishing her sword. It was her nervous habit. It was something to calm her nerves, something most thought she readily controlled. "I only want you to not learn the hard way. I have a few stories from my past that I'd rather not tell. And I'd rather you not learn from. So when I said we need to talk, that's all I meant."

Was it the smoke? Was it blowing in her face? Gabrielle knew better. They always sat next to one another before retiring for the night. They always sat on the side away from whatever breeze might be there to keep the smoke from their eyes. And yet, Gabrielle found herself nearly in tears once again. It was because once again she was reassured that, at least for now, she hadn't committed a sin to get her banned.

Xena knew she had to end one of the fears her travelling companion had. After their conversation earlier, she thought it had been understood. Yet, she also had it in the back of her mind. And she'd continued to think it. Unless she were to be the one to speak the words aloud. How had her life, at least emotionally, become so complicated?

The warrior placed her sword in its spot next to her bedroll. Her chakram was already where she could reach it while she slept. If sleep would come for her. Normally, a light sleeper, tonight there would be no sleep. Especially if she thought Gabrielle was still hurting or fearing being left behind. "There's something else we need to speak of."

Gabrielle hastily took hold of her scrolls. The moon and stars were behind the clouds. The air felt heavy and cool. Most likely, by morning there would be rain. It could mean an interesting night of sleep, if she were able to steal some. Her mind was jumbled. Her heart was hurting. And it all came down to this conversation she had feared she'd have with Xena ever since she had first begun traveling with her.

"I've come to a decision." Gabrielle's hands began to tremble. Xena could hear the parchment rattle. She knew she had to choose her words wisely. "We've established, on more than one occasion, that we are friends." The rattling lessened, if only slightly. "But I want you to know something. Even though it's only been a few weeks since we've begun traveling, it's been nice having you around. And it's up to you if you want to leave or continue traveling with me."

There was a part of Xena that was terrified. She still knew there were so many things that could cause Gabrielle to want to take her leave of her. There were safer ways to travel and yet gain life experiences. Perhaps Gabrielle would find her tree in the forest. The worst scenario was one Xena had nightmares about and would do her best to avoid. But she couldn't be everywhere at all times.

"You mean…?" Gabrielle's emerald eyes were wide. While she was an extremely confidant young woman, when it came to Xena wanting her to remain, she was anything but. It was odd how she could face down Cyclops, warlords and even angry mobs, but the fear Xena would reject her was sometimes nearly debilitating. It was something she would have to work on. It was something she would have to take on faith.

"I mean, the decision has always been yours." Xena wouldn't meet with Gabrielle's gaze. The words she had uttered somehow sentenced both their fates. And yet, it seemed that had happened the moment Xena had wandered into a clearing and come across a group of villagers that had needed someone. If it hadn't been for the selfless act of Gabrielle, would she have chosen to fight for them?

It was something she would wonder about. And yet, Xena knew she was on the path of redemption. Or at the least, she was readying to retire from wielding her sword. She'd wanted to go home. But there was that old saying, there was no going home. And yet, because of Gabrielle, she had been able to do that. And hopefully one day again she would be able to do so once again.

The hug caught her off guard. Xena hadn't readied herself for such contact. Gabrielle quickly composed herself and made her way onto her own bedroll. "I'm sorry. It's just after today, I wasn't certain if…" The young woman sighed. "I know we'd both said we didn't feel quite so alone being together. I guess, I was worried you were missing home."

"Home doesn't have to be a place." Xena didn't want to say it was a person. Though it was something she had learned from one of her past lovers. If only she'd taken the lesson to heart. "We can make home wherever we are together. And I'm afraid that means tonight is going to be a shelter." Just as Xena spoke the last sentence, the skies opened and the rain began pelting down.

It was new to their routine. Gabrielle managed to cover everything with the bedrolls while Xena made the makeshift shelter. It was enough to keep the fire going, but it caused them to have to huddle close together. As Gabrielle slept in her arms for the first time, Xena realized something. It was the first time she had felt the true impact of those words. Home wasn't a place. It was a person. Now if her home was ever taken from her…


	3. Chapter 3

I was so eager to grow up. I was so eager to pick up a sword and fight. I had no idea what it would mean, could mean. Even when Xena attempted to tell me, I had no idea what blood on one's hands felt like. I know it now. I've taken more lives than I care to admit. Some, it was for the greater good. Some, it was in defense of myself and the ones I love. The first one will forever haunt me, as my nativity and insistence on seeing the good in everything placed me in a no-win situation.

But once again, I am ahead of myself. And I feel arms wrapping around me. I'm sat at my desk in our small home just outside of Amphipolis. This is how I spend a majority of my days. Writing. Or rewriting. I want to put to parchment the life I've led with the most amazing woman. She has been my savior, my teacher, my lover and my soulmate.

I think I can actually feel the burning from her cheeks. And for the small chuckle I allow to escape, I earn a kiss to the top of my head. I can't believe it was ever so difficult. The learning process I had to endure. And yet, I wouldn't trade a second of it. Because every second I learned, I was either with Xena or she was with me in spirit.

And back to me being eager to grow up. To fight. While I know I was always destined to be the Battling Bard of Potidaea and walk beside Xena, but why was I always in a hurry to learn how to fight? I know part of it was because I was a simple farm girl. But I think, deep down, it was because I knew it takes more than words at times to make the world change. To make it a better place for all to live in.

Dreamworker

Wielding the sword felt…It felt different. It was heavier than Gabrielle had thought it would be. Yes, she was supposed to be gathering firewood. But the fact was, she needed to practice. She needed to know how to defend herself. That's partially what a sword was for, wasn't it? And with them always being in trouble, it just made sense that Gabrielle could wield one like her warrior best friend could.

And yet, as Gabrielle taunted the imaginary warrior, she knew. This wasn't her. Could it ever be her? She knew Xena would prefer if it was never her. And deep down, Gabrielle knew she was right. That she was more a bard than a fighter. That she would be better known as a person of peace than a person of war.

Still, her argument, Gabrielle thought, had been a valid one. And even after Xena had listed off the four rules, Gabrielle still thought she had a point. That was…Until the look. It was difficult to describe. The look of pain and regret that passed on her friend's face. It inwardly had caused Gabrielle to shudder. Was she still eager to learn to physically defend herself?

Yes. And words wouldn't always be enough. But they would, hopefully, get her through until she could one day learn to defend herself and others. Maybe not via a sword. There had to be other weapons out there that wouldn't be lethal. And yet, Gabrielle knew in certain people's hands, any weapon could be lethal. Or bare hands for that matter…

It was a lesson learned. The moment Gabrielle had picked up the sword, she had become a target. They had threatened to kill her. Even after she had dropped the sword, she had been a target. Thank the Gods Xena was able to fight more than one at a time. Luckily, there were very few who were even near the level of Xena's skills.

At least Xena hadn't come out and told her she was right. Still, it had irritated Gabrielle. One of the things so far about Xena. The warrior princess was almost always right. And why wouldn't she be? Even if there wasn't a great difference in age, Xena had seen so much more. She had done so much more. She had…

Gabrielle sighed as she wandered through the village looking for 'salt pork'. What she was really looking for was a way she could protect herself. Maybe even help Xena in the process. While Xena's warnings played out in her mind, the young woman only wanted to be like her best friend. Wanted to be able to defend herself and others.

And when she'd walked into the shop…It felt unusual. Even back home, Gabrielle had never walked into the blacksmith's shop. At least not where any of the weapons were kept. It was always for something to do with the farm. She didn't even know what half of the weapons were for. And when she'd attempted to lift one of the swords…

The smith was a confusing man. Why would anyone fear Morpheus? Sure, sometimes the dreams he brought weren't the most pleasant. But why would one fear him? In fact, Gabrielle loved to dream. It was where her imagination ran free. In fact, she now had a clearer picture of what her soulmate looked like. The figure was still faceless, but there was no mistaking they were dark and yet were of light.

Breast dagger? Gabrielle had never heard of such a thing. It was perfect for female warriors. A weapon that could easily be concealed. And yet, was just as lethal. And it made her feel…Words wouldn't come for her. It was as if she was now nearly equal when it came to Xena. Not that she would ever be that. She wasn't sure she wanted to be.

It was amazing how Xena had realized right away she'd been carrying the weapon. While her best friend might not have known what, she had known something was different with Gabrielle. And when the breast dagger had fallen from her dress…It was definitely embarrassing. And saying what she had about Xena's breasts? Where had that come from?

Not the horse again! Gabrielle hated riding horses. But after what had happened earlier in the clearing, she had no choice. It, at least, wasn't like the ride she had experienced before. And there was no frantic leap this time. But what there was was worse.

As the strange man explained what was to happen, Gabrielle wasn't certain which terrified her the most. The thought of marrying a God or the thought of a fight to the death. Some would say that it was an easy, no brainer. That she should be terrified of dying more. After all, she had no skills to speak of. Run. That's all Xena had told her. But there was something else Xena had also told her, but she couldn't remember it.

The marriage thing had her just as worried. After all, wasn't that part of the reason Gabrielle had left home? To avoid marrying? It wasn't because of who she was betrothed to. It could have been anyone. And now, she was to fight for the right to marry Morpheus? Or die trying to prove her worthiness? It was worse than being betrothed.

The first challenge had been easier than Gabrielle had thought it would be. Not that she wanted to see anyone killed, but it was a challenge of survival. And not drawing blood. Not killing. It would have made Xena proud. But the challenges were only going to become more difficult, wouldn't they? It was an unsettling thought.

Dreaming. It once meant everything to Gabrielle. It was her means of escape. It was her way to allow the images that she wanted to put to parchment to come to life. But now, it was her way of escaping the trials she found herself facing. And when she saw Xena…Never had she been so glad to see anyone in her life. And revealing the fact she'd had a sixth toe…

Stall. How was Gabrielle to stall? She'd already used one of Xena's rules. There weren't many left. How was she to continue, without bloodshed or worse? As Xena faded out of sight, Gabrielle strained to hear her. Her best friend had told her what she needed to do. But she couldn't hear her. Oh how she needed Xena by her side.

And Xena had been threatened. It didn't take a genius to read between the lines. Not only had her best friend been threatened, it had been made clear her blood innocence was what Morpheus wanted. Not that she hadn't been certain before, but now Gabrielle knew she had to face whatever challenge lay ahead, without drawing blood.

It hadn't been easy. Throwing away the dagger and leaving herself unarmed. But Gabrielle knew it would be easier not to be tempted to harm the men after her. But what did she know? What was this wisdom Xena had said she possessed? Words! Of course! She could talk herself out of any situation. She had with the cyclops. And had to get a ride to Amphipolis. Now was the time to prove it once again.

Xena would have been proud. For some reason, as much as surviving once again, that's what Gabrielle held onto. It's what she wanted more than anything. Traveling was amazing, but making Xena proud and happy were becoming almost what was driving her. Almost. And after being reassured she wasn't to be left anywhere, that the decision was up to her, it had made traveling that much more enjoyable.

Take a life or die? What choice was there in that? Gabrielle would die a thousand deaths before taking a life. She really had only wanted to help Xena. To learn to defend herself so that Xena didn't have to worry so much. But the lesson was a harsh one. One she wouldn't soon forget. And yet, she still wished she could help, in more ways than writing down the tales of Xena Warrior Princess.

And yet, it was an impossible situation Gabrielle found herself in. Daggers at her back. A man with a sword, waiting to strike her down. Picking up the sword felt…unnatural. And yet, even though she would die for innocents, protecting herself was instinct. At the last moment, there was Xena. There was an escape. Allow Xena to do the fighting. Give her the sword.

Impressing Xena! And all it took was a simple punch. That hurt like there was no tomorrow. Gabrielle was proud of herself as well. She'd remained true to herself. And learned she was not ready for a sword or weapon. But she was ready to continue learning all she could from Xena. And she vowed to attempt to, without getting into trouble.

Xena had been so eloquent. It wasn't on the epic scale that the warrior had been changed, but Gabrielle's experience had forever changed her. It was peaking over the edge. It was seeing that she was capable of doing exactly what Xena had said. There was the ability for us all to kill. If only in defense. And it terrified her. Almost as much as the thought of life without Xena.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena had been hunting. Something had told her to return to camp. What she had found…It was a little amusing. Watching Gabrielle play with her sword, at least in the manner she had been. But picking up a sword, even to use as an axe, it caused Xena to pause. It was the one thing she never wanted Gabrielle to experience. For once you took a life…or even merely shed blood…everything changes.

It hadn't been that long ago that she and Lyceus had been playing in the fields. They had been using wooden swords. But what it meant now. The fact Xena had killed too many to count…and had enjoyed it at one point in time…caused her to feel ill. And it had made her be sharper than she had intended with Gabrielle.

But she'd seen it before. The images assaulting Xena were nearly too much. Lyceus' body lying on the table in the main hall of her mother's inn. The way her mother had wailed for the loss of a child. Lyceus might have been nearly a grown man, he had still been her baby. And now that certain circumstances had changed, Xena could better relate to the pain and agony that still tortured Cyrene.

Using humor, Xena hoped, Gabrielle would get the point. That her sword was no toy. It wasn't to be used for anything but defending oneself. In Xena's case, that led to death. Way too often. And the thought of losing Gabrielle…It caused her to ache inside. She needed to joke. Or she might just lose the tight grip she had on her emotions.

Having to explain the difference between defending oneself and fighting were not helping Xena to maintain her grip. She only hoped, fervently, that Gabrielle was listening. That she wasn't just humoring her. Xena so needed a distraction. Though the one coming towards her wasn't the one she would have wanted…

As it led to yet another death. Why was it these warlords wanted to prove themselves? That once they discovered she was Xena they fought that much harder. And it made for escaping with their lives that much more difficult. And now, every life she took, even if they were worthless and irredeemable, haunted Xena in one way or another.

Making it to the village was just the distraction Xena needed. Of course Gabrielle insisting on continuing the lesson and even basically admitting she had been wrong. Without having to say the words. It had been…Perfect. And yet, all that mattered was the fact Gabrielle learned. That Gabrielle knew the consequences of her actions. And not the hard way like Xena had over the years.

And while it was endearing how much Gabriele wanted to help, in any way possible, it was too dangerous. Once again, her thoughts were on Lyceus. She needed a distraction. Gabrielle wandering off, supposedly in search of salt pork, was as good as any. And the fact the man had asked so many questions about her. And had refused to sell the outcast a halter.

One of them? Xena sighed. How many times had she heard someone labeled that? Hades, she had been labeled that, hadn't she? In her case, rightfully so. But in the case of someone who was considered a mystic, was it the most horrible profession? Deserving such hatred? In that moment, Xena made a decision.

Slipping the altar into Elkton's wagon had been easy. Finding Gabrielle had been as well. And the way her new friend was carrying herself, something was off. Had it been surprising to discover the breast dagger? Not really. Xena would have bet Gabrielle would find a weapon of some kind. Most likely, the weapon would come in handy later on. And the joke didn't go unnoticed. Yet, Gabrielle meant it innocently. Sadly.

And then, Xena's instincts were telling her once again that something wasn't right. She had to get Gabrielle to safety while she took care of the bad guys. Placing her friend on a horse wasn't the most appealing after what had happened last time. But there was no other way. And when Gabrielle was nowhere to be found, her heart sank. It was time to do a little intimidation.

It had been easier than Xena had thought to persuade the shopkeeper to tell her the necessary information. Including where the mystic was hiding out. Convincing him she needed his help might not be easy. When one was shunned, it wasn't easy to trust. It wasn't easy to put your faith in someone else. It was one of the reasons why allowing Gabrielle into her life had been so difficult.

A strong and brave female with a dark past. That was Xena all right. In so many ways that described the warrior princess. The fact she was determined to make up for her dark past, was it enough? The fact she needed Gabrielle to help keep her on the right path. She would do anything to make certain her best friend was unharmed. Even facing her dark past.

Xena had thought she had been prepared. To face whatever Morpheus had to throw at her. The chants. The darkness. What lie just beneath the surface. It wasn't her anymore. And yet, it would always be a part of her. But was that fact something she could learn to live with?

Her victims used to be nameless, faceless people. Seeing them. Hearing them. Knowing their names. It was nearly too great for Xena to bear. And yet, she knew she must. And yet she had to. She had to push back. She had to push them to the recesses of her mind. Never to be forgotten, but not to be haunting her every waking moment.

There was no way Xena would allow for Gabrielle to be sacrificed. She would sacrifice herself first. After all, Gabrielle had a chance at a better life. She had a chance to make something of herself. Hopefully not a warrior. Hopefully one day Gabrielle would be known worldwide as a bard. She definitely had the imagination for it.

It took a moment for Xena to process the little fact. Gabrielle had had a sixth toe. It was definitely something Morpheus wouldn't come up with. It had to be her friend. Was it fair to Gabrielle to ask her to stall. And she had to remember what she was best at. It was talking. After all, she had talked her way into traveling with Xena. And so much more.

Morpheus certainly did know Xena's weaknesses. Her first kill. The name and face would always haunt her. Even though it had been in defense of her village, it didn't matter. All that mattered was a life had been taken. The first of many. And the fact Gabrielle was on the precipice. It meant Xena had to hurry. She had to save Gabrielle from a fate Xena had too long endured.

And with her mind, Xena managed to defeat her past. Or had she? Standing before her was herself. The look. The power. The anger. It was herself, only from the not so long ago past. Xena knew this was the final battle. Fighting her inner demons. But they were winning. Why? The key. The key was to realize something. Though she might forever regret her past, it was a part of her. It was who she was. No matter how much it would continue to pain her.

And just like that, Xena had been impressed. Not only had Gabrielle managed to keep from shedding blood, she had also managed a mean punch. One that Xena would have loved to have made. Punching was more than ok it seemed. And it showed, in some ways, Gabrielle could take care of herself.

Another place Xena could return to. It felt…It felt amazing. Slowly, her name wasn't a curse upon the land. She wasn't as feared as she once had been. It was something, she hoped fervently one day, would be the norm. It would please her so much. Knowing now she could go home. She could return to two small villages she had helped along the way.

And the wisdom Xena had learned. She had to pass it along. She had to share it with Gabrielle. Good and bad, the experiences we endure make us who we are. It's true. There are little things lurking just beneath the surface. Others may never know. Unless they had the privilege of becoming close. And right now, there was only one that had that privilege. And most likely would be the only one.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It wasn't very far from the village they had just left. The routine was normal. But the mood was anything but. Gabrielle sighed heavily as she struggled to make the fire. She wasn't certain why. It had been a couple moons since they had been traveling together. And yet, today had hit her worse than any of the others.

Why? Because Gabrielle had faced a side of her she hadn't known existed. While she still wanted a way to help Xena and defend herself, she knew weapons came with too steep a price. At least the weapons she knew about came at too steep a price. And the fact was, her talent for words could serve her better than any weapon. For now.

And the fact she could so easily take a life…It had Gabrielle more unsure of herself. What Xena had told her made sense. And she knew it to be true. Not only the rules to survival, but also how everything that was a part of her. The good, the bad and everything in between. It shaped who she was. The question was, could she live with the end results seeing how Xena struggled every single day?

"Are you all right?" Xena had noticed how quiet her traveling companion had become. It was probably a lot to take in. And the way Gabrielle had attempted humor when they had been speaking of her first attempt at philosophy, she knew that Gabrielle was still unsettled. If she were honest with herself, Xena was still unsettled.

Gabrielle managed to look Xena in the eyes. There would be times when she might attempt to hide the physical ache or emotional pain she was in. Already, she had done both in the hopes Xena wouldn't leave her somewhere. Now that she knew she was somewhat safe, she wasn't about to hold back. "Not really. I understand why I can't help you out more. But I guess it's still upsetting me how easily one can take a life."

It was time. Xena hadn't wanted to tell Gabrielle exactly how she had become the way she had. And even then, she wouldn't tell her the entire story. No one was alive, other than perhaps Nicklio, that knew the entire story. True, Caesar and his lackey Brutus had an inkling. After all, they both played their part. For now, it would be enough to tell Gabrielle how she had begun to be the warrior she was now. And the slow descent into darkness.

"You are the bard, but allow me to tell you a story for once." Xena placed the rabbit near the fire. Without a word, Gabrielle began preparing it. For once, they had vegetables. It was only one of the many positives when visiting a village. Not being isolated was nice, though Xena remained leery of what kind of welcome they would receive. And there were still too many that wanted her dead. It placed those around her in great danger.

"There once was a young girl. She was tall and powerful. By the time she was ten seasons old, she could outdo all the boys in her village. Even the ones many seasons older." Xena took her sword and leaned it against her leg. Somehow focusing her thoughts. And it allowed for the memories, both good and bad, to wash over her. The routine of first sharpening her sword and then polishing it.

"As she grew older, she knew she was different. It wasn't because she was stronger and could outdo the boys." Xena closed her eyes. It was difficult to recite the past. For her to share this with anyone. Not even Lyceus had ever known how she had felt during their too short time together. Toris was never there. And her mother had been too busy attempting to keep food on the table and from losing the inn for them to sleep in.

"There was something that lurked just beneath the surface. She even had these dreams. It was as if something or someone was visiting her in her dreams." Xena often wondered, looking back, if it wasn't Ares recruiting her in her dreams. As manipulative as he could be, she wouldn't put anything past him. And it wasn't just him. It was all the gods.

"It was darkness. It was buried deep within. It seemed her brother was able to temper whatever was so repressed." Xena knew it was true. It was as if she and Lyceus had this unexplainable connection. It went beyond being siblings. It was as if they had been linked. And the moment he had perished, it had caused whatever connection they had to be severed. And her emotional stability was shattered.

There was a pausing in Gabrielle preparing the rabbit stew. Xena had hoped her friend would realize the significance of her story, without pointing it out. "But there came a day. When a warlord, not unlike what I became, happened across my home village. The young woman was just barely fifteen seasons, yet the village turned to her and her brother. It had been known they each studied war strategies. It had been known both had practiced swordsmanship, as well as the strategies they had studied."

Xena took a deep breath remembering how Toris had objected. There had been those that sided with her older brother. On the day of the big battle, he and his supporters had fled the village. They had hidden in the hills while the battle continued. And yet, her mother had remained. Sometimes Xena wondered where she had gained her fighting spirit.

Not knowing her father had left her feeling lacking in knowing her true self. And yet, her mother was all she had ever needed. Betraying Cyrene by allowing Lyceus to die…That was what had started her descent into madness. Into darkness. And it was the story Gabrielle needed to hear. If only Xena could finish what she had started.

"Some of the village took for the hills. Some of the village chose to stand and fight. And while the warlord was eventually turned away, there was a great loss." Xena's voice was about to give out. It had been many seasons since she had allowed herself to think about those events in this much detail. Even though she was telling from a third person point of view, it was still all too close to home.

"The young girl was blamed. By her mother, older brother, friends and neighbors. She was blamed for the death of her younger brother. Winning had come at too big of a price." The waterskin was in front of her. Xena carefully placed her sword in its traditional spot before accepting the water. She was thirsty and her stomach was aching. Though she knew the stew would be amazing, she wouldn't touch any, at least not tonight.

"Thank you." Xena took several long pulls before handing the waterskin back. Instead of returning to the fire, Gabrielle snuggled next to her. They weren't as close as they had been the night they'd had to share the shelter due to the rain. Still, Gabrielle absently had her hand on the warrior's knee. It was atop of her armor, but still…

"Instead of begging for forgiveness, the young girl chose to bury her feelings. While she was dying inside with the loss of her brother, she chose to pretend nothing was wrong." Xena remembered what it had been like. The emotions she should have been holding onto or confronting had been the ones she buried. If only she had…

Instead, Xena had chosen to hold onto the hate. She had chosen to seek revenge. Revenge had turned to hate. It had led her on the path that had made her the woman who sat here now. While she wasn't fully plunged into darkness, it had been the start. It had given her the taste of greed, power and all in the name of protecting Amphipolis.

"And by pretending nothing was wrong or that nothing was bothering her, she ended up on the wrong path. It led to years and years on the wrong path. Until one day one event changed her life." Xena once again took a swallow from the waterskin. While it was the one act of protectiveness that changed her path, it was Hercules and Gabrielle that helped her to continue to choose the right path.

While Hercules had been a strong influence, it was Gabrielle who made her want to be a better person. Who showed her what it meant to be a better person. From the moment she had stepped in front of an angry village, to standing beside her every day, it was Gabrielle who was turning into more of a friend.

Part of Xena was terrified of the dependency and what it would mean for Gabrielle. "I tell you this because once a person does lose their blood innocence, it can happen like it did with the young girl. Or one can have the proper guidance. One can have someone they can talk to. I hope I'm that person for you." There. It was said. Xena would be there for Gabrielle.

Gabrielle smiled as she leaned forward to stir the stew and remove it from the heat. While she was a little hungry, after the emotions evoked, she didn't feel like eating. Even after Xena had basically shared a big piece of her history, Gabrielle still didn't feel like eating. Luckily, it would keep until morning. It meant no cooking or gathering what they could find.

The smile remained in place as Gabrielle turned towards her best friend. "I know how difficult it was for you to share the story of the young girl. And I was having trouble handling what happened today." The smile faded slightly as the memories flooded back. "It's not about protecting others I have a fear of. If I were to kill to protect someone else, I would hope it wouldn't affect me so deeply. It was the last test. I had no choice. It was either me or the warrior."

Xena knew her friend was deceiving herself in the thinking taking of a life would be less torturous for Gabrielle if it was in protection of someone else. Xena's first kill had been because Termin was one of Cortese's men. It was his choice to kill anything that moved. And yet, his face and death haunted her every single day.

"The first man I killed was attacking our village. It could very well be said it was either him or me. Or one could look at it as I was protecting Mother and the rest." Gabrielle's face drained of color. "I'm telling you this because you are the kindest, most decent person I have ever met. Including my mother. The moment you take a life, whether in defense of yourself or others, it will nearly kill you."

When Gabrielle attempted to make her way to her own bedroll, Xena gently stopped her. She knew for yet another night she would be holding her friend in her arms. It could become habit forming. She would have to be careful. "But I will be here. Through the ups and the downs. Unless you decide you need to go home, I'll be whatever you need me to be. I promise you that."

It was a bold promise. Gabrielle wasn't certain she knew the significance of the words. They both terrified her and thrilled her at the same time. There was something about Xena. Something she had never seen in anyone else. It wasn't merely the dark past that Xena had hanging over her. It was something else. Something she couldn't see.

Or was it allow herself to see? Gabrielle snuggled closer to her best friend. The two leaned back. They remained with Gabrielle's head upon Xena's chest. The young woman knew this wasn't to occur often. For some reason, the thought caused her to ache inside. It also caused her to hold on tighter. And yet, she was weary of suffocating Xena.

And for the warrior princess, this was bliss and torture at the same time. Xena knew it was happening once again. It had truly only happened two other times. While she had had deep feelings for Caesar and Borias, it was nothing like she had shared in her brief time with La Mao and M'Lilla. It wasn't merely because they were women. It was because they both had attempted to teach her something. It wasn't the powers that La Mao possessed or the pinch gifted to her by M'Lilla.

What they had, in their own way, attempted to teach Xena was that power wasn't everything. That conquering oneself was the way. Yet, at the time, she hadn't been able to see beyond the power and greed she so desired. Gabrielle was attempting to teach her similar lessons. And yet, if she were honest with herself, she knew it was more. It was oh so more. Already Xena was realizing the possibility. Would Gabrielle ever?


	4. Chapter 4

It was my first taste of motherhood, in a way. Though I had helped to raise Lila, it wasn't the same as finding that baby in the basket. There had been a part of me that had wanted to keep the young boy. But with me being so young and traveling with Xena, that wasn't possible.

And yet, there were three young children that touched my life. Correction, touched our lives. There was sweet Solon. He had helped to make certain his two mothers were able to get past their anger, hate and grief. There was the one who had caused so much of that anger, hate and grief. And there was Eve. The one that was truly a part of both of us. And luckily comes to visit every so often, taking from her travels of spreading the word of Eli.

But once again, I'm getting ahead of myself. I remember the young baby, that I now know was named after me, fondly and wonder what had happened to him. He made me realize something. I wanted a family. I wanted it with Xena. But I couldn't say it. And at the time, Xena was dealing with the darkness inside. Still coming to terms with how the past was always a part of her.

I have to pause. I always do when thinking of how our pasts and the bumpy road it took for both of us to admit our feelings. Not only to each other, but to ourselves. Once again I'm ahead of myself. This was one of those moments. When I could have, had I known what true love and soulmates was all about, known that I already had my eternity. That I had my family. Even without any children or siblings entering our lives.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

The Cradle of Hope

Mmm. Gabrielle loved already to be awakened by Xena. And today she had allowed her to sleep in. It wasn't all that unusual, but normally after something happening like had happened with Morpheus a moon ago, Xena liked to be on the move. She liked to be on the road before the sun rose. And she'd keep pushing until well past sunset.

But last night, Xena had retired early. And the last two mornings she had allowed Gabrielle to sleep in. There was no rhyme or reason to it. And there didn't need to be. This was Xena. She had many skills and one had to trust in her decisions. Most of the time.

How had she slept? Gabrielle hastily put away her blanket. She hadn't slept. Ever since her experience with Morpheus, she hadn't slept much. It wasn't because of nightmares. In fact, it was because of the dreams. There was this figure. They were hazy, but of darkness and light. And there was the scent of leather.

In fact, it reminded Gabrielle of the woman moving about camp. She was about to say more, of course not revealing her true thoughts, when she was told to be quiet. There was a sound. The bard in her wanted it to be something great so that they could share yet another adventure together.

And when it was revealed, at first Gabrielle didn't know how to react. A baby? It had been quite some time since she'd been around a child. As she'd gotten older, some of the neighbors had asked she watch their children. But that had faded away as her tales were thought to inspire unsavory behavior.

After thinking about it a little, Gabrielle wanted a baby. Or at least she wanted what it could represent. A family. A unit. A way of life. It was something she had had, in a way, growing up. And yet, from what she knew of Xena's childhood, it hadn't exactly been that.

And holding the young child. Trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Xena sounded clueless. Was she? Or was it she didn't want to expose the child to the dangers that constantly followed her and Gabrielle. Of that, Gabrielle understood. It was why she would never have a child, at least before she was settled.

The thought of being settled caused her to cringe. For there was a part of her that would want to settle with Xena. And she knew, deep down, that Xena might never want to settle down. Though it depressed her, Gabrielle managed to keep her chipper demeanor.

That was why she had suggested her own name as a temporary name. And suggesting the twist on Xena's name wasn't just covering. There was something strong about the name. It would be an honor either way.

Another thought to be different. Another who was to be punished merely for being different. More than punished. If Xena hadn't used her trusty chakram to cut the rope, the woman would have been killed. What was unique was how Xena merely knew this person wasn't dangerous. It was the unruly mob that was.

Careful of a bag? What was in it? Weapons? Something fragile? It wasn't as if Gabrielle wasn't careful. She was holding a baby in her arms after all. It peeked Gabrielle's curiosity. And that was a dangerous thing. That had been shown when it came to wielding a weapon. That had been shown when dealing with a potential soulmate.

Pandora? This was THE Pandora's box? That only contained the hope of men? Gabrielle so wanted to see this box up close and personal. But even more, Gabrielle wanted to learn more about these desires that were fleeting. There were so many desires.

But Xena had seen to not receiving an explanation. Why? Did she really see her as that much of a kid? Gabrielle also saw how quickly Xena kept her from receiving an answer to the question. Was it because she didn't think Gabrielle could handle it? Or was it something else?

And the way Xena had merely known she was going to attempt to at least check out the box. Would she have opened it? Gabrielle didn't know the answer. And in a way, that scared her. What if the next time something drew her curiosity? Would she react the way she was supposed to? Or like some kid?

It had felt like forever waiting out the storm. The baby was definitely hungry. And between them, there was nothing to feed the poor baby with. And the entire time, Pandora stared after the box as if it was the most important thing. Although, the baby did gain her attention at times.

Xena without her weapons was a little alarming, but Gabrielle knew from past experience Xena was a walking weapon. One moment Gabrielle was handing off the baby, the next the man was demanding the baby. Even though it had happened before, Gabrielle still wasn't used to it.

The box was important, but a child's life was even more important. Why had it been so difficult to choose? Of course Gabrielle had always had a maternal instinct. It was one of the things she knew she was, at least temporarily, giving up. Maybe not giving up, so much as giving herself time to grow and know who the real Gabrielle was.

By now, Gabrielle was used to staying out of the way. Oh she still craved fighting, or helping, or something. But for Pandora to freeze like she had…It went back to how it was easy for Gabrielle to protect others, not only a small, helpless child.

It was sweet of Xena to ask if she was all right. The warrior princess was becoming better at allowing small glimpses into her true self. Which Gabrielle knew was quite caring. She only showed it towards a select few, like herself.

Gabrielle didn't know which was worse. The box being in the wrong hands or the fact the king wanted the baby dead. What kind of man would want a child dead? But why? What could a child possess that would threaten someone with the power of a king?

It always made Gabrielle feel useful when Xena used her, even if was to send a message. Of course, this time it was more important. It was an attempt to open up communications so that they knew for certain what King Gregors wanted with the child.

As much as she wanted to go with Xena, Gabrielle knew remaining with the baby and Pandora were more important. Especially after the way Pandora had basically been shocked into whatever stupor she was in. It wasn't something Gabrielle could relate to. And hoped never to.

Leaving Pandora alone with the baby might not have been the wisest of moves, but Gabrielle wanted to do something to help. She needed to help. Her skills at the moment were limited to cooking, talking and taking care of Xena. Even if Xena didn't always want looking after.

Finding Ophelia hopefully would make up for leaving Pandora and the baby alone. The fact Ophelia had blankets and food for the young boy was a positive. And the praise Xena had given Gabrielle more than made up for the fact she had not necessarily done what Xena had wanted.

So, the king wasn't the true enemy. He was only looking after his people like a true king should do. And unfortunately Xena's reputation was hindering the process of protecting the child and doing what they could for the greater good. But his second in command…

Knowledge is power. Gabrielle was quickly learning that. After all, she knew the real Xena. Something very few people would ever get to know. Cyrene was probably the only other person alive that would ever get to see and know the true Xena.

Ophelia wasn't only the key to obtaining access into the castle, she was also a fountain of knowledge. Nemos almost always had the box with him. Whether under his personal guard or by one of his lackeys. It seemed Nemos was the key to everything. But there was something more. Gabrielle just wasn't certain what it was.

The frenzy of the people to find the baby was getting out of hand. Part of Gabrielle wished they'd remained hidden. Part of her wished it was Xena who was transporting the child. But in the end, she knew it had to be this way. They would simply have to do whatever it was to keep the child quiet. Hopefully it was close enough. Though knowing Xena, it could nearly be anywhere.

At least Pandora seemed to have some kind of rapport with the baby. But when Gabrielle asked about ever having a child, it hurt her. Not that Gabrielle thought about it. It was just she never disregarded it either. She knew it wouldn't be until she was ready to settle down. To leave Xena.

But would that day ever happen? Would Gabrielle be able to have a family? She considered Xena and Cyrene her family. Yes, there were her parents and Lila. But to have a child of her own. And with someone she loved…It was something she knew wasn't in the stars. At least not for quite some time.

The crowd was growing even more restless. Their hiding place wasn't the greatest. And when Gabrielle heard the familiar cry for her…Something caused her heart to race. Was it only the fact she was afraid for herself, Pandora and the baby? Or was it something more?

Ever since the dreamscape, something more seemed to be happening for her when it came to Xena. It could only be the fact in a way, Xena was everything for her. Her survival was so connected to her best friend; it was almost scary. It was…Beyond words for the young bard.

Give the baby to Gregor? While Gabrielle trusted Xena with her life, this one didn't make any sense. While Xena had said she didn't think Gregor was an evil man, could he be trusted with the life of the child? And yet, Gabrielle knew she had to trust her best friend.

Before she knew what was happening, Gabrielle was having a baby tossed at her. Though not the greatest of athletes, she somehow managed to catch the child. The fight was epic. The tossing of the baby back and forth terrifying. In the end, Nemos was killed.

What a clutz. Gabrielle couldn't believe that she knocked over the box. But to find out it was empty…It gave Pandora the freedom to live. To truly live. Not tied to the box. Yes, she and King Gregor were becoming more, even before. But now, she had what all of us strive for. A dream of being whatever we want to be.

As she walked off at Xena's side, Gabrielle was wondering what her dream was. She knew it would forever, in one way or another, be connected to Xena. But would they always walk the same path? Would they always be side by side as they made it through life?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Gabrielle was always so adorable when she slept. Though Xena knew they had to keep moving, there was something about watching her friend sleep. Was it the innocence she still embodied? Was it everything Gabrielle stood for? Was it the hope for a life Gabrielle managed to keep inside?

Xena sighed. Would life ever be more than traveling? Would she ever find what she was looking for? What was it she was looking for? And as she watched Gabrielle sleeping, she knew. It was what she could build with her friend, if she allowed for it. Whatever they could and would build together.

But that wasn't in their present. Would it be in their future? Xena sometimes wished she was a prophet. A seer. She had instincts. She had many skills. But when it came to her life outside of being a warrior, she was anything but certain of herself.

The warrior princess shook off the thoughts. For one, her life would never be what she once dreamed of. It was never every little girl's fantasy. But it wasn't having to live with all the lives she'd taken, the lives she'd destroyed and the villages that never recovered from her rampage.

A heavy sigh escaped Xena before she finally awoke her best friend. Like a rock? When had Xena ever slept like a rock? Especially since she had taken Gabrielle under wing. While she had some natural abilities she had honed over the years, she wasn't about to take chances when it came to her young friend.

When they heard the noise, Xena wasn't certain what it was. Gabrielle had quite an imagination. And when they saw what was making the noises, Xena internally cringed. It was the biggest secret she had yet to reveal to her friend. The fact she had, if only briefly, taken care of her infant son.

And the reason she had given her son up…Xena had nearly lost what tiny resolve she had to maintain her composure. No matter what, it seemed the children affected her the most. There was a time when that wasn't necessarily true. There was a young boy in Chin she had terrorized.

But when it came to an infant, like Solan had been the last time she held him, it was different. Especially the one. The one that had finally made her stop. If not stop, pause enough to see what she had been doing. And the consequences. Yet, it had led her on this path. It had led her to Gabrielle.

The enthusiasm of her friend. Xena shook her head as they made their way toward the village. Gabrielle was a natural with the baby. It pained Xena on so many levels. After all, there was no way either could have a child while she was so wanted or hated by everyone.

And there were the other thoughts. Stray thoughts Xena couldn't ever allow voice to. After all, it would mean their relationship would evolve beyond friendship. And that could never happen. It wasn't safe. For either of them to allow this kinship to turn into something more. Even though it pained Xena to think it could never be anything more.

Why was it there was always one idiot who thought he was king? That he was the greatest thing and leading people to do something stupid, such as hang a woman. And was proud of the fact he was the leader? Xena shook her head. She knew talking this mob out of hanging the strange woman was nearly hopeless.

And it always took violence, not words. As Gabrielle came closer, Xena hoped with every fiber of her being that one day it would be words and not swords that would end a conflict. For now, it had been her chakram and the threat of violence against the cowards that had ended the standoff.

Xena knew the look. Xena knew the reaction. The woman was defeated. The woman had a destiny she couldn't outrun. It was something the warrior princess was more than familiar with. She wondered what burden the woman had. The box was the key. Was she who Xena thought she was? Now, shelter was her main concern.

Even after finding shelter, the box was the stranger's concern. Even without being told, Xena knew who she was. But she wasn't about to reveal that fact. Not because she thought it would upset Pandora. More so she wasn't certain how her inquisitive young friend would handle knowing the box belonged to the famous Pandora.

Pandora's reaction to how Gabrielle had attempted to handle the box confirmed Xena's suspicions. The warrior princess had to get Gabrielle away from the box. Not because she didn't trust her friend, but because of her naturally inquisitive nature. And also not wanting to upset Pandora more than she already was.

And once Xena had called Pandora on the box correctly. And the nonchalant explanation…Sadly, it was something the warrior princess could readily relate to. And Gabrielle's reaction had been true to form. How Xena wanted to protect her friend from all the evils and dangers of the world. Whether they were perceived or real.

The box was the most important thing in her life? Xena knew she had to distract Pandora. To begin showing her that there was more to life than what one thought was one's destiny. After all, Gabrielle was slowly showing the warrior princess that. It was a long, hard learning process. But one Xena was willing to endure, if only for her young traveling companion.

Luckily, it wasn't long before the storm had let up. The baby was hungry. Xena was becoming nervous. Not because she was worried about the child or the box. It was what could happen if Pandora were to become too caught up in her obligation or Gabrielle to her curiosity. The origins of the child also had her internally on edge.

Even more so was having to relinquish her weapons. Xena was a walking weapon, true. But without her trusty chakram, she felt lost. It was as if there was a connection to it. There was a power to it when she held it. She'd never confided in anyone what she felt when she held her signature weapon. Would she ever, even to Gabrielle?

The innkeeper was up to something. Was it Xena he recognized? Was it Pandora? Or was it the baby? The way he had stared at the baby and had whispered into the young man's ear…It had the warrior princess even more on edge than before.

Just like that, Xena knew there was trouble. Whoever this man was, it didn't matter. He wanted the baby. He wanted him in the name of King Gregor. Worse, he placed an infant under arrest? Who did that and why? More than ever, Xena wanted to get the child and Gabrielle to safety while she discovered what exactly was transpiring.

And luckily years of fighting and improvising came in handy. Xena hadn't used the flame trick too many times. But to get Gabrielle, the baby and Pandora to safety, she would have done nearly anything. But leaving the box, that hadn't been a part of her plan. Not that she had an actual plan.

Luckily, the innkeeper was brighter than he appeared. With just a little gentle prodding, he was talking freely. Word was King Gregor wanted the child dead? Or was that just the talk of the masses? When it came to a witch hunt, Xena knew things were exaggerated and easily grew out of hand.

It was only a little surprising that King Gregor agreed to meet with Xena. If he was the kind of man Xena had this gut instinct about, he wasn't the one she had to worry about. But until she could look the man in the eyes, she couldn't be certain. And with both the fate of the child and the box at stake…

A reward on Xena's head. It wasn't anything new. From the moment she had picked up a sword in hate and anger, there had been a reward. It was something she never wanted for her young traveling companion. But sometimes, even with the greater good, there was a steep price to be paid.

Pandora was paying a price of sorts. She hadn't been out of sight of the box in probably a lifetime. It was something Xena could understand, in a way. Her naturally heightened senses were engaged, even while she slept. But to say she'd made the wrong choice caused the warrior princess to cringe.

While the box was of great importance to the world, the child's life had been in immediate danger. No man in his right mind would open the box. Even a greedy fool would know better. At least Xena hoped Gregor and his men would realize the possible consequences.

Of course the fact the box had to be reset before midnight changed things. Still, Xena knew they had made the right choice. There was a way. There was always a way to make things happen in her favor. Even if it didn't always seem like it. This was not one of those times. It was only a matter of things falling into place.

Meeting face to face was never easy. Her reputation had preceded her, as always. Would one day her name be greeted with warmth instead of hate? Would she ever be accepted as attempting to atone for her past sins? Xena internally shook her head. She needed to remain focused. To discover what kind of man both Nemos and the king were.

The threats were from Nemos, not from the king. Xena would still need to learn more about Gregor. But it seemed his right hand man was the one to watch. She'd seen the look of greed. Of the need of power in too many of her so called allies and foes over the years. She had seen it in her own eyes.

Leave it to Gabrielle to find an ally. The one who happened to have placed the baby in the river. And the fact she worked at the castle only worked in their favor. While Gabrielle would want to come, it was safer for Xena to work alone. And yet, there was that part of her that hated to leave Gabrielle defenseless.

Seducing a man was the easiest of weapons. Xena had learned early that her body could be a deadly a weapon by enticing a man. It allowed her to come close to her opponent. In some cases, she had not maintained a distance. It had caused her dark decent into the evil she forever would be known for. If not for one man…

But that would never happen again. Xena had easily vowed it. And the fact she was more than a little fond of her traveling companion made it even easier to maintain. Not that she would ever act on her feelings. Yet, she would attempt to be true to Gabrielle. Hoping always to remain true.

How Xena loved to surprise her opponents. It was easy to escape from Nemos. The unexpected was a great weapon indeed. The fact the child needed to live was not so unexpected, at least not when one was thinking clearly and not fearing one's own mortality to end. Gregor was the key. Convincing him of that fact the child could be his heir and not enemy wouldn't be easy. But getting past Nemos would be the difficult part.

And just like that, Nemos revealed his true self. The king had easily accepted the fact the young child could be his heir. It was the greedy Nemos that wanted the power and everything that went with it. Using the betterment of the kingdom of his poor excuse for doing so.

Playing catch with the child was dangerous. But there wasn't anything else Xena or Gabrielle could do. And in the end, Nemos received exactly what was coming to him. If it hadn't been Xena, she was certain Gregor would have a fitting punishment for betraying the kingdom. And the crowd chanting for her for good…

The only reward Xena wanted was giving her friend a namesake. It was only fitting. After all, it was Gabrielle who had saved Xena and kept her on the path of good. Was this child any different than what her traveling companion had been? Not that Gregor had been traveling as devastating a path as Xena had, but still…

And Gabrielle's klutziness revealed the truth. That hope was always, and had always, been with man. It was when we stop believing in such things as hope that we lose it. It would grant Pandora her freedom, not only to settle down in Gregor's kingdom, but also in traveling freely if she so chose. Would Xena ever truly feel free? To be released from the sins of her past?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The woods seemed to engulf her for some reason. Xena had already been fishing. She had already taken her evening bath. For some reason, she was avoiding her traveling companion. Why? The warrior princess sat on a rock and stared at the stars. Hoping to discover the reason.

Yet, Xena knew the reason. It was made more clear with their latest adventure. Gabrielle was her hope. Gabrielle was her moral compass. Gabrielle was…The young bard was her everything. She represented what the box had held all these years for mankind.

Yes, it was hope. But it was so much more than that. It was a future. It was the chance to make a life. When Xena had struck down her first opponent, not in protection of her village, but in anger and hate, she had left that behind her. And while there were others along the way that had attempted to see there was another path, it was Gabrielle.

For some reason, the others' faces were flashing before Xena's eyes. Most were gone. Some at her own hand. Most attempting to save her. There were a couple that were alive, at least last she knew. But she was out of touch with some of her past cohorts. In some ways that was good.

In others, it was not. Because it allowed for the unknown. It was something Xena didn't like. This unknown path she was on. It was simply put…life. The warrior shook her head. It wasn't that long ago that she had a purpose. Of course that purpose was carnage. Death. Power. Money. Whatever she could gain.

Her purpose had changed. And saving another child helped to reinforce that purpose. But still…Xena sighed. There was a child out there that she should be protecting. Was she really protecting her own son by staying away? There was still a price on her head. There were those that knew of her reputation and would do anything to take her down.

The snapping of the twig didn't surprise Xena. Gabrielle was already attempting to learn to walk as quietly as the warrior princess. In a way, it was good. In another, it meant her traveling companion was attempting to become more like her. And where would that path lead her?

"I was…" Gabrielle stood in front of her. Her face was pale. Was it from the moonlight? Was it from the coolness of the night air? The storms the previous day or two had caused the temperatures to fall. There was also the fact the strawberry blonde locks were darkened still from being wet.

Xena knew without Gabrielle having to finish her thought. She was worried. It was kind. It was touching. On a physical basis, it was unnecessary. On an emotional one, Xena wasn't certain she would truly be all right again.

"Worried?" The blush was adorable. Xena chastised herself for such thoughts. "You don't need to worry about me. Though I know you will." Xena wanted to say more. If only to reassure Gabrielle. It would, the warrior princess suspected, always be this way.

"I know I don't have to, at least when it comes to fighting." Gabrielle found a spot next to her friend. There was just enough room on the rock for both of them to sit. "I guess today kinda had me thinking. I know you're not like most girls, but thought it could…and if you wanted to talk…"

Did she want to talk? Xena eyed her companion out of the corner of her eye. Her gaze never left the stars above. The light she had used since she was a young girl for guidance. If only they had provided the proper guidance when she was a youth…

But that was merely an excuse. There was no one to blame but herself. Cyrene had always been there for her. And Toris would have been, she was certain. But she never gave either of them a chance. There was the way her mother had spoken to her when she brought Lyceus' body home…

"It was just another day." Xena knew she was attempting to convince herself as much as she was Gabrielle. It had been another day, at least since her young friend had joined her. It was the baby. And it was the fact Pandora had this burden lifted in what seemed like the blink of an eye. Xena knew her burden may never truly be lifted.

Gabrielle wanted to reach out. She wanted to take Xena's hand in her own. They had come so far in such a short time traveling together. Yet, she didn't want to push it either. The only thing the young woman wanted to know? Was it the baby or the perceived destiny Pandora had carried around for so long?

While the younger woman didn't know about destinies or the burdens of life beyond being expected to marry and produce children, Gabrielle hoped she could somewhat empathize with whatever it was Xena was dealing with.

"It wasn't just another day." Gabrielle could sense, more than feel or see, the stiffening of her companion. "It's not every day that you meet a living legend. Of course, there are those that consider you a living legend. It was one of the reasons I…"

Gabrielle trailed off. They were beyond this, weren't they? While it had begun as hero worship, the aspiring bard was beyond that in so many ways. She was nearly an equal to Xena. If only she could fight or contribute more. And if only she could live up to those in Xena's past.

"Stop." Xena abruptly stood. Without another word, she and her string of fish were on their way to the camp. She knew she had made a mistake in staying away from the camp. Gabrielle would worry. She would always worry. And she couldn't blame her one bit.

The bard had trouble keeping up with her friend. Xena's long strides and determination left Gabrielle behind. She knew how easy it would be to be left behind. Not because Xena would want to. It was already settled. It was up to Gabrielle when they were to stop following the same path.

Something overcame Gabrielle in that moment. Somehow she managed to not only meet up with Xena, she managed to overtake her. She knew the fish needed cooking. But there were more important things at the moment.

As she stood in front of Xena, her friend not meeting her gaze, Gabrielle knew in that moment that this was difficult for Xena to accept. That someone wanted to be with her. That someone looked up to her. That it wasn't about her evil past. It was about this adventure called life.

"I know you don't like to speak of why I followed you or the fact someone looks up to you." Xena still managed to look over her head. It wasn't that difficult seeing the height difference. "But as you made it clear not long ago that it's my choice when to leave, it was also my choice as to why."

When Xena shifted her weight, Gabrielle knew her friend was about to say something. If it was her usual, the bard needed to put a stop to it, before they were spoken. "We don't ever have to speak of it again. And I'll try to remember not to even hint at it. But you need to know why."

Gabrielle took the fish. She had the confidence Xena wouldn't run. While it was her friend's first instinct when emotions were involved, the bard knew she was different. That her friend wouldn't always feel comfortable with what she had to say. But also wouldn't run.

Sure enough, Gabrielle watched out of the corner of her eye as she prepared the fish. Xena sat on her bedroll. Her sword was across her lap. It wasn't long before the sharpening stone was in the warrior's hand as she seemed to stare into space. The bard knew for a fact Xena was attempting to be anywhere but there.

"When I was younger, I often would spend time in the fields." Gabrielle could hear the momentary halting in Xena's motions. She knew her friend had expected something different. "And it wasn't just because I was expected to watch over the sheep or not come home until I'd tilled my portion of the field."

The sizzling and the scent of cooking fish caused Gabrielle's stomach to grumble. She knew she needed to eat. She would have to slow the cooking process if she were to complete her tale. That way Xena could digest her meal, as well as the tale she was relating.

"I was what my father would say was a dreamer. In some ways, I think he was jealous of my imagination." Gabrielle removed the fish from the flames. The way Xena prepared it never made it take long to cook. "I would think of the many ways I could leave home, without hurting mother, father and Lila."

"And the few tales I heard from traveling bards aided with the stories I came up with." Gabrielle finally had to dish up the food. One, she was starving. Two, she didn't want it to get cold or overcooked. She handed the plate to her friend. Xena still would not look her in the eyes.

Between bites, Gabrielle continued her tale. "I always focused on those that were considered dark heroes. While I admire the likes of Hercules, to me someone who has a past they are attempting to overcome means so much more." The fact it had been a woman who had caused her to leave didn't escape the young bard.

It was something Gabrielle was continuing to reconcile. Though she knew of the gods and how they loved without abandon, her father had never once spoken kindly of those who loved differently. And if she did…

"I didn't know who you were, exactly, when we first met. But the moment I did, it caused me to want to follow you even more." Gabrielle placed her empty plate on her bedroll. Next would be the cleaning up, before attempting to sleep. Some nights, like tonight, she knew it would nearly be impossible. If only for the emotions she was still dealing with.

"While I'm naïve, I know that changing isn't easy." Gabrielle was now kneeling next to the fire. She had heated some water so that she didn't have to go to the spring to wash the dishes. "While I wanted more than anything to follow you, I realized I don't know how the world works, not really."

Still Xena had not said a word. Still, the warrior sat with her sword across her lap. Instead of sharpening the blade, she was now polishing it. Next would be the chakram. Then there would be one more scouting of the surrounding woods, before finally she would settle, remaining a safe distance from the bard.

"But I knew there would be things in life I could help you with. And I don't mean cooking." There was a slight pausing in the polishing. Gabrielle wasn't certain why, but the hesitation caused something to stir within. "And I can continue to learn the ways of the world. I may not like everything I learn, but so far I've enjoyed the company. I hope you have to."

Xena was speechless as she slowly stood. Gabrielle remained silent as she prepared things for the morning meal. The warrior princess placed a hand on her young charge's shoulder before making her way into the darkness.

Gabrielle was an innocent. She was so unlike those Xena had been around in the past. Lao Ma, M'Lilla, Caesar, Boris and Marcus had all had a dark side to them. For some, it was the price of the knowledge they had gained. For others, they were like her. The need for power and greed influenced every decision they made.

The warrior once again found herself staring at the stars. A million and one cries running through her mind. A million and one faces flashing before her eyes. It was the price of redemption. It was the price of doing for the greater good. But the faces of the past would forever haunt her. Especially those she had influenced in her dark times.

Xena fell to one knee, leaning on her sword. She wasn't a believer in the gods, though she had been influenced by more than one. But what she wanted was something she couldn't allow for the fates or destiny to decide. She needed something or someone to intervene. She prayed Gabrielle would never know darkness. That she would never know the need for revenge. And that she would not end up like so many in her past. If only she had taken a different path…


	5. Chapter 5

I remember getting lost so many times when I first started out after Xena. I hadn't left home only a handful of times. Each time that I had, Father had always been with me. There was no one to guide me in my search of my destiny. I often wonder what would have happened if I'd taken a left instead of a right. Would I have met Xena, just at a later time?

I know my soulmate has similar questions. What if she hadn't gone through that village on her way to Amphipolis? What if that boy hadn't been there and once again she had been reminded of her despicable acts? What if the baby had not been there to begin her path down the road to redemption?

There was one time in particular that reminded us both of how one decision can change one's very soul. I didn't get a chance to meet Marcus on that particular occasion. Xena was still protecting me from the evils of the world. Of course, she could not protect me from my good intentions. That's how I had ended up in prison. And nearly executed.

Do I wonder what would have happened if Marcus had not sacrificed himself that day? I could say, as I've said so many times already in these scrolls, that I'm getting ahead of myself. And in a way, I am.

It's just one of those painful reminders. We both had a past. In my case, not so much of lovers but potential ones. But Xena, her reputation was not only to her acts of violence. It was also of her sexual appetite. And I knew, even if she didn't tell me, there were only a select few that had touched her in some way.

Marcus was one of them. In fact, he was unique as he had actually known Xena. They had grown up near one another and spent summers together. I've never had the nerve to ask and I may never. But what if? What if she and Marcus had taken different paths? Would I be sitting here writing with Xena out catching whatever for our evening meal? Or would I be alone? Or worse? Here's to one particular path that was taken. And where it led us in the end.

The Path Not Taken

To Gabrielle, adventure was what made life worth living. Did Xena make life too adventurous? It was possible. And yet, the young bard had never felt more alive. In a way, the meal she was craving wasn't food of any kind, though her stomach was grumbling.

No, the meal she was so desperate for, in so many ways, was love. It was also the most adventurous thing she could think of. After their latest talk and adventure, the picture of the figure in her dreams was becoming clearer. It wasn't just the darkness and light, along with the leather, that had Gabrielle thinking of a certain person.

It was the fact the figure she saw was clearly female. While it wasn't what she had necessarily dreamed of, Gabrielle knew one thing. Whatever shape or form her true soulmate was to take, she would love them. She would never take them for granted. And she would love them for eternity and beyond.

Hmm. Xena was already recognizing something she would say. Gabrielle wondered if that was a good thing or not. Because it could be considered predictable. And that was the last thing the bard wanted to be was predictable. Xena could become bored too easily.

Gabrielle knew something had happened. Xena wouldn't normally whistle at her. She would if she needed something. But it was degrading. And there were better ways of gaining her attention. As usual, the bard was oblivious to what had happened and merely followed her stomach, knowing that if it was important Xena would tell her exactly what had happened.

As Gabrielle rambled on about their latest adventure, she had a feeling something was happening. When she turned around, it was merely Xena standing there appearing more annoyed than usual. At least a table had opened up. But then since joining Xena, that hadn't been much of a problem. And the way Xena acted as if nothing ever happened…

Gabrielle felt a little, ok quite a bit, embarrassed that she had read into what the stranger had implied. While she had been treated rather…poorly…in other establishments, it didn't mean she should expect everyone to think that way. And there was the fact the young man was dressed far superior to anyone she had come across in a tavern.

How quickly Gabrielle's embarrassment transformed into curiosity. Even more than curious, it turned into the romantic side. So the young man was engaged. And he wanted his true love back. Even better, their marriage would hopefully help keep the peace between two kingdoms. They definitely had to help the young man.

And a weapons dealer who Xena knew. How shocking her traveling companion would know of someone who dealt in weapons. After all, Xena was once one of the most powerful warlords. Even now, she was one of the greatest warriors who ever graced the known world.

Not seeking a reward. Xena was truly an amazing woman on the path of redemption. Helping those less fortunate happened in so many ways. Fighting was one of them. Another was having those that could afford it take care of them. And once again, Xena wouldn't allow Gabrielle's curiosity to get the better of her.

And the plan was what? For Xena to merely go as herself to a place where evil cutthroats thrived? A place, where not that long ago, Xena would thrive? Could so easily fall back into the darkness that at one time had enveloped her like a sand storm blinds you to where you are attempting to travel and need guidance to make it back to safety.

Would Gabrielle be enough? She knew Xena would want to make it back to her. Her friend would always think of her. And in a way, she would always be a beacon. But the pull the darkness must still have over Xena terrified the bard beyond words.

Why did Xena saying she was getting the girl evoke something in Gabrielle? It should just be because Xena's intentions were true. But there was something more to the bard's reaction. She just couldn't place it. Yet. Until then, she would entertain herself and Agranon with a few tales.

But the tales she regaled her new friend with were nothing compared to the story of his own love story. Merely taking a drink from a fountain and one meets their destiny. While she would place a twist on it, Gabrielle knew the real version was how it should be.

In some ways, it reminded Gabrielle of how she had met her traveling companion. Only it was the warrior rescuing the damsel in distress. Only Gabrielle had been fighting back. For a moment, she realized what she had thought.

Xena could very well be the figure from her dreams. There was the dark past, but the light surrounding her now. And the leather…Xena would forever be associated with leather. It was part of her natural scent.

As Gabrielle assured Agranon that she could easily talk her way into a meeting with the king, her mind was beginning to race. It wasn't exactly that she hadn't ever thought of Xena in that way. It was only that it had taken so long for Xena to accept her as a traveling companion and now best friend.

And timing was everything. It was as if the fates or one of the gods was watching over them. Gabrielle knew it was a sign that they had come across the guards who could take them to the king. Only problem? They didn't want to listen.

Would Xena laugh at the predicament Gabrielle now found herself in? The bard sighed as she attempted to move her hands so that she could scratch her nose. There had been a definite miscommunication. Or was it those that were heartbroken who could not truly hear what was being said.

Look at King Gregor. He had been so heartbroken over the loss of his son and wife that he had, at first, not wanted to listen. But he was indeed a good man and had realized the truth, even though he grieved heavily for a family torn from him. This was surely the case now. Or she would have to hope Xena had her normal impeccable timing.

After all, they were just informed they were indeed to see the king. It was at the execution. Their execution. Gabrielle knew her helpful streak, as well as her nativity would continue to cause trouble. If not for herself, surely it would cause trouble for others. And the need for Xena to continue to rescue her. It was something she would have to work on.

Somehow, Xena did it as usual. But this time, there had been a high price to pay. While Marcus had willingly sacrificed himself so that Jana was saved, it had been unnecessary. Except possibly as his act of redemption. Hopefully it would help him when it came to being judged. And in the next life.

Friend. It was the best way to be remembered. For if one had even one friend, they were rich beyond compare. Gabrielle knew the only thing even greater to be remembered for would be as the soulmate of a person. Would that happen? Would she be known as someone's soulmate?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Life was an adventure? At times, Xena had had enough adventure. Other times, like when she was in the company of her bard, she wanted to live it to the fullest. There was the fact she still wanted to make amends to her mother and make Lyceus proud. But it was Gabrielle who inspired her.

In more ways than Xena could even count. The warrior shook her head at the thought. It was stray thoughts such as that one which could get her into trouble. There was no way she could do that to her friend. But it was easy to encourage her to be a bard. So even if Gabrielle hadn't been the one to say it, it would hopefully make her want to continue to be creative.

There was one thing Xena knew she would have to teach her young companion. Sometimes Gabrielle wasn't aware of her surroundings. This time it had been something somewhat innocent. She and Argo had easily taken care of the situation. But what if Gabrielle continued to be so careless, especially when Xena left her to fend for herself?

It was reinforced with how Gabrielle hadn't notice why they always seem to have ease in gaining a table. True, Xena's reputation preceded her. It wasn't a mystery to the former warlord. And it shouldn't be to Gabrielle, either. It would have to change.

With the way the guy was looking at them, it might be sooner than Xena thought. He was definitely not a warlord. And he didn't seem the mercenary type. Yet, Xena wasn't the kind to hire out. And yet, if what someone was asking for was deemed for the greater good, she would do what she could.

For love was not necessarily the greater good. Xena knew love had its place in the known world; it just wasn't always worthy of her time. Now stopping a war and weapons dealer, that was worthy of her time. More than worthy.

And if starving people could gain some relief by having the young man share the ransom with them, it definitely would be worth it. Yet she knew Gabrielle would want her to do it for the romantic side. And it truly was the deciding factor. What Gabrielle wanted, she was to receive. With perhaps the exception of one thing.

Tracus and Menzentius. A place she had hoped she'd long ago left behind. And a person who needed to be dealt with. On a rather permanent basis. While she had already decided because of Gabrielle's interest she would do as asked, knowing it involved the arms dealer was more than enough incentive.

Gabrielle always wanted to see and touch everything. Xena, at times, was exasperated with how easily the young woman could be so tempted with the unknown. While Pandora's Box had turned out for the positive, what if one day it wouldn't? Yes, it was an emblem so that the princess would believe her. That wasn't the point.

It was sweet and dismaying Gabrielle was worried about her returning to Tracus. And there was no need of a disguise. After all, Xena's reputation was still of a warlord. True, she had begun to slowly make amends for her past and because of Gabrielle those tales were becoming known, she could trade on her past to fool the men she needed to.

Her friend's worry over the pull of the dark side as she returned to her past was sadly a valid one. Xena hadn't truly been around any of her old cohorts since she had run the gauntlet. Yes, she had nightmares about them. There were a select few who she wouldn't mind seeing once again. Would the pull be too great, even with Gabrielle waiting for her?

It was just like old times. And explaining away her good deeds had been easier than Xena had thought. That was the problem of most who spent a great deal of time at a place like this. They were on the lower rung of things. It was the likes of Mezentius who had vision and cunning that one had to worry about.

And one of those from her past had to show up just when she had the crowd won over. At least Marcus had somewhat played along with her. He had been one of the better men she had associated with. At one time, he had been friends with Cyrene. It had been genuine his asking how she was.

It was easy passing off Lerna and the rescue of a child as something more. Not many had heard the true story. Again, Gabrielle had made certain to write in her newly found scrolls about the tale and had even spoke of it in a couple of the taverns they had come across. Her way of making money and contributing to their travel expenses.

The only difficult part was the notoriety part. At one time, Xena wanted her named screamed from the lips of her dying enemies. She wanted her name to instill fear in everyone who crossed her path. It had made fighting that much easier at times having that bad reputation. But it also still made her a target for those wanting to prove themselves.

Had Marcus truly thought of their times as good? Xena, in a way, had been using him. If only he knew her preference was for women…Yet, she had truly cared for him. At that moment in time, it was the most dangerous thing she could do. Caring about anyone but herself was nearly suicidal.

So, this was Mezentius. He didn't look like much, at least as some would say. But Xena knew from the past that looks could be deceiving. Even though she was nearly six feet tall and imposing, because she was a woman she was nothing. They would not take her as a serious threat.

Mezentius was intelligent. He was allowing his man enough rope to hang himself by. Of course what Mezentius truly hoped was his former man would reveal who was working with him. For some reason, Xena had a feeling in her gut she already knew who was the silent partner.

Talking Marcus into setting up a meeting with his boss had been easier than she had anticipated. In some ways, it was just like old times. Xena could trick Marcus into doing anything she wanted to. And it was old times as her reputation had informed Mezentius what she was truly capable of.

Luckily, Mezentius knew exactly who she was and her kind. And her kind were the ones who made him a wealthy man. Once again, it was her reputation that would, at least, get her foot in the door. It was up to Xena to make certain the door opened all the way. She just hoped Gabrielle was staying out of trouble.

The compound was impressive, especially the hot spring. It could come in handy. Probably as handy as how Marcus so easily trusted Xena. And the fact he still seemed to have some kind of infatuation with her. She only hoped he wasn't still in love with her.

And hope she could talk Mezentius out of doing anything stupid, such as deflowering the princess. Even in her day, Xena would be tempted. But she never allowed herself to partake in pleasure of someone she held for ransom. Threaten them, but never actually rape them.

It was another one of those lines Xena had never crossed. And yet, she had killed nearly without thought. But there were those tiny lines that even she couldn't cross. The one which had led her on the path she was now on.

Xena's first attempt failed. It wasn't miserably. Mezentius didn't share her vision. A vision that frightened her slightly. She could see why Gabrielle had been concerned with her return here. With her nearness to her old cohorts.

And how easily Xena's plan changed. While in their adventures together, plans changing in the blink of an eye already was necessary, she didn't like how it had been so easy to think along her old warlord ways.

Which included near extortion. Xena was surprised that her foe had given in so easily. She knew she would have to watch her back. Mezentius would use her and then discard her like he had so many others. Like she had so many others.

The girl had fight. Xena liked that about Jana. For now, it was time to prove her worth. How exactly? By gaining her trust and protecting their so called investment. If it hadn't been for the emblem, Jana might never have believed she had been sent by her fiancé.

Protected his property? It was men like Mezentius that made Xena's blood boil. Even when she was a warlord, she hated the thought of women being slaves. True, there had been those she abused badly. And she hated the thought of the likes of Satrina who had delivered her son.

And insulting? Xena hadn't even begun to be insulting to the man. He was only lucky she was still attempting to save Jana and end a war before it began. Otherwise, she would have done more than merely insult the so called man.

Checking out the weapons had nearly been a mistake. Marcus following her nearly had caused everything to fall apart. Luckily, Xena allowed Mezentius' own ego to get the better of him. And to allow him to think he was still in charge and calling all the shots.

And for Marcus to merely think she was stealing. Xena's gut had been correct when she thought her old friend was behind the theft of weapons. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it did complicate matters. If Mezentius were to discover the truth…

And when Marcus began talking about changing…And how it hadn't worked…It made Xena think of Gabrielle. Not that her young bard was ever far from her thoughts. After all, it was now Gabrielle who she did the greater good for. True, it was for herself and her mother. But mostly, it was for Gabrielle.

Changed? Could Marcus sense she had changed so easily? If anyone from her past who was still alive could tell she had changed, it was he. There was one other she was uncertain if was alive or not. If only she could tell Marcus what she knew. What made her change and what now continued her on the path she was on.

Fast talking once again. Xena knew she was running out of time and excuses. Either Marcus or Mezentius would realize she was here for Jana. That she would help the princess escape. No matter the cost. After all, there were far too many lives at stake if she didn't somehow succeed.

Companion? When Xena had heard the prince had been captured, it had made her heart leap. When she had heard they had both been captured and were scheduled to be executed, it terrified her beyond words. Luckily, she was capable of hiding her emotions. Even from the one who was evoking them so strongly.

So, somehow Marcus knew. Somehow he was threatening to kill the princess. Hadn't he expressed wanting to change? Hadn't he tried it once before? Perhaps it had been too much his failing. Or perhaps he was fighting to finally make that step. The one she had to take, not that long ago.

Had she known how much Marcus had cared? Yes, Xena had. Why had she kept him in the dark? Trust. That was a huge part of it. But the bigger part? There was now someone else. As much as Marcus would always have a place in her heart, she could never be with another. And if she was, it was to protect Gabrielle.

What Xena had said was true. Do that one right thing, even if you didn't know why. For her, it was saving the baby. For Marcus, it had been saving the innocent child. But for Marcus, it hadn't been enough. He'd questioned why. One had to fight for right and not worry about what others thought and did.

Still, Marcus threatened Jana. Still, he couldn't do what was right. After all, the princess was as innocent as the young child. How could he not see that? And at the last minute, he had. But didn't Marcus know she could save them all? It was what Xena did?

Instead, Xena was standing beside Marcus' funeral pyre. If only he had believed in her. If only he had taken a different path. If only Xena had taken a different path. But then, she wouldn't have someone to stand by her as she grieved for her friend. She wouldn't continue down the path of greater good, with Gabrielle by her side.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The breeze was gentle upon Gabrielle's skin as she and Jana walked through the garden. It wasn't often the young bard was invited to a royal wedding. In fact, she'd never been invited. While it was assumed that Pandora and King Gregors married, they had not been invited.

But both Jana and Agranon had insisted the bard and Xena remain. Of course, the warrior princess had not been too keen on the idea. It had taken some fast talking on Gabrielle's part for Xena to agree to remain. Although, she wouldn't stay in the castle. They would camp outside, but would take part of whatever festivities during the day.

"I can't believe in the morning I'll be married." Jana brought the freshly picked bouquet of flowers to her nose. The smell was intoxicating. "If I hadn't believed Xena or she hadn't chosen to believe Agranaon, there might very well be a war being fought instead of a wedding."

Gabrielle smiled at the thought. She too wondered where she would be if she had snuck off like she had planned that fateful morning. Would she have met Xena sooner? Would their meeting have had the impact on both of them? After all, it was the bard standing up for the others which made Xena take notice.

And what if she had become lost? Gabrielle decided to play bard. She decided to play with one of the what ifs. "I can relate to that. I was nearly kidnapped by slavers the day I met Xena. In fact, she was the one who saved me and the others. I often wonder what would have happened if I had been taken."

The princess stopped in her tracks. It wasn't so much the idea of being kidnapped, as she had just lived through that. It was the fact there was the what if playing out before her very eyes. It could have meant Jana's death. It could have meant being violated in a heinous way. And it could have meant war.

"Why don't we find somewhere to sit while I tell you a story." Gabrielle and the princess made their way to the clearing Jana and her prince had been enjoying when the princess had been kidnapped. It indeed was a beautiful place.

The pair sat beside one another. Gabrielle was staring out into the woods. It wasn't because she feared trouble, though she knew trouble was around every corner. It was as if she could sense something. Or was it she could sense someone?

If she knew Xena, which she was beginning to, the warrior princess wasn't far away. After all, Xena had proven to be a protector. Would Gabrielle have it any other way? Another smile graced her features as she thought of her best friend and began to tell her tale. Deep down, she hoped Xena was out there and listening.

"There once was a warrior. She was unlike all the other warriors. It wasn't because she was female. It wasn't because she was tall or strong. It was because she was more intelligent and cunning than most gods, let alone mortals." Gabrielle hoped her friend wouldn't mind the last part.

While she had yet to see Xena fight any on Mount Olympus, she had heard the tale of her facing down Hercules who was a demigod. "Something in her past had caused her to sway from the greater good. She was truly on her way to being the conqueror of all nations."

Gabrielle could have sworn she heard a deep sigh. Was Xena around? Was she afraid of where this story was heading? "But in this version, the ruthless warrior wasn't persuaded to do good. She wasn't determined to make things up to her mother. Instead, she found a new crew of men and women to do her bidding. Worse, she became what she had hated about the man who had created her. She had destroyed a village merely because it was there."

"And from this village, this ruthless warrior took a prize." Jana was now leaning towards the bard. Gabrielle was still new to storytelling but knew when her audience was becoming a part of the story. "It wasn't a piece of jewelry or dinars. It wasn't a priceless painting."

"It was a young peasant girl." Now, there was more than a sigh Gabrielle could have sworn she heard. It was almost as if she could hear someone's heart breaking. "This young peasant girl had hoped one day to travel the world. To see what she'd heard about from bards and from scrolls she kept hidden from her family."

It was closer to home than Gabrielle cared to admit. And yet, this was one of those what ifs that haunted her. And yet, she had begun writing it down in a scroll of her own. Would she ever share it with anyone else? Specifically, a tall, dark-haired warrior who seemed to be a very part of her soul?

"At first, it was clear who was mistress and who was slave. While never actually physically beating the young woman, the ruthless warlord made certain she behaved as her property." Gabrielle wanted to say something more, if only because now she was certain Xena was listening to her tale.

But Gabrielle knew, as did her best friend, that things could very easily have happened this way. If something had not touched Xena's soul that day, she could have remained with Draco. She could have struck out and become the greatest evil the known world had ever experienced.

That was the scariest part for both Xena and Gabrielle. As horrible as the acts Xena had committed, there were far worse atrocities she could have unleashed upon the known world. If it hadn't been for a baby. If it hadn't been for Hercules. If it hadn't been for Gabrielle…

"One day, when the evil warlord had met her match, the young peasant girl did something neither of them would have ever expected." Gabrielle took a breath. Partly, it was to pause and allow Jana to wonder what it was. Partly, it was to allow her own mind to process the possibility.

"The girl chose to cover the warlord's body when she would have been punished." Gabrielle shivered. It was as if she had experienced something before. Or she would experience it in the future. It was odd how she was becoming so a part of her own story.

"Because of the act, the ruthless warlord was able to free herself. But not before the young peasant was horribly scarred. Both her back and face received lashes from a barbed whip." Gabrielle could almost feel the stinging herself. Could this have truly happened in another time, another place?

"Now for most of her kind, it would mean throwing the young girl away." Gabrielle swallowed. She could see the trepidation written across Jana's face. The girl might be a princess, but this was the first time she'd heard a story like this.

"The act changed the warrior. Or was it reminded her of what she could have been without the ugliness that had tainted her soul?" Now Gabrielle smiled sadly as she knew how closely this hit home for her warrior princess.

"Instead of using the peasant girl as a slave, and worse, the ruthless warlord slowly began to make her an equal." Now the story was blurring with reality. Gabrielle knew this, as did Xena. "They shared every meal together. They were very seldom separated. The warrior even began to show the young peasant how to fight. It started with defending herself, but grew into more."

"In exchange, the young peasant taught the warlord how to read and write. She taught the older woman how to charm people. The warlord had known how to read people. It was part of how she had become so powerful. And the young peasant became a storyteller. Giving the warlord something she never had. It was what was stolen when her youth was stolen."

Jana now sat back. Gabrielle knew it wasn't because she was any less engrossed in the story. In fact, it was because she was contemplating exactly what it was the warlord had stolen from her. And in a way making her the woman she was.

"It was the ability to play, of all things. To use her wild imagination for things other than battle strategy. So listening to the young peasant's stories were a reminder of a youth that ended far too soon." Gabrielle had to pause once again. How much further to take this?

"And because of the ability to be a youth once again and use her imagination, the ruthless warlord began to do good. She began to see the young peasant differently. As the beauty she had always been and was beneath the scars."

"It wasn't long before they were traveling across the known world fighting for the greater good. And while doing so, the pair fell in love. They lived a long and happy life together." Gabrielle now wondered if this was more about what she wished than what her imagination could make come to life.

"That was an awesome story. You must tell it at the wedding reception tomorrow." Both noticed how the sun had nearly set. Time had gotten away from them both. "Speaking of receptions, it's time for the wedding dinner. You and Xena will attend, won't you?"

There was a noise. Gabrielle knew it was intentional. As perceptive as she was when it came to Xena, even she couldn't hear her unless the warrior princess wanted her to. "I'll try to convince her to come, but she doesn't care for crowds or celebrations."

Gabrielle wanted to say especially after losing a friend so recently. Xena had so few friends in her life, especially since her dark warlord days. To lose one cut her at the very soul. It was something the bard had yet to experience. And hoped never to in the near future.

The bard was surprised when Jana wasn't more persistent. Instead, she smiled as if she realized something Gabrielle had yet to realize. In fact, the princess winked before she took her leave of the wonderful place and the memories it contained within.

"I know you're out there." Gabrielle had waited what seemed like a lifetime to allow Xena to show herself. When her best friend chose not to, the bard knew it was because of the story she had told. "I want you to know something. It doesn't matter how we met or when we met."

The bard was now standing, staring at the moon that was rising as the sun was setting. It was a perfect analogy for life in a way. For one aspect of life was emerging, while another was sinking. There were always changes in one's life. One had to merely adjust to them. In some cases, embrace them. In others, attempt to change.

"And I would have been like the peasant girl. If you were dark, I would have been your light. If you would have been on the path of light, I would have illuminated it more. And if you were never dark, but always of light, we would have merged our lights to lead the way."

In her way, Gabrielle was attempting to tell herself and Xena something. Without actually saying the words. It wasn't easy. For neither was ready for the full impact the revelation could make. So for now, it had to be vague. But in the end, it meant the same thing.

In this life, and every life, Xena and Gabrielle would meet. Sometimes they would be of the light. Sometimes they would be of the dark. Sometimes they would be a mixture of the two. But in the end, they would both balance one another. They would become what each needed to survive.

Xena emerged from the shadows. She never said a word. Instead, the warrior princess offered her bard an arm. Gabrielle knew what it meant. Xena was to escort her to the current festivities and the wedding the next day. What did it mean? For now, it was about two best friends sharing this particular path.

But it could be soon, there would be a fork in the road. It would mean one, if not both, would finally have to admit what they were feeling. There was this connection between them. There was something woven throughout the very fabric of time.

And just like in Gabrielle's story, no matter the path each had chosen, all roads led to one another. It was now only a matter of time when their paths merged completely. And two soulmates would finally be one in this particular time.


	6. Chapter 6

There were many first in my travels with Xena. One of the most interesting and illuminating had to be my first encounter with Ares. While I didn't actually get to meet him on his first attempt to win Xena back into the fold, he made his presence known.

And it made me realize that sometimes there is a big difference between what the laws dictate and justice. People's hatred and need for revenge can get in the way. Can cloud their normal idea of what punishment a person receives.

It would be an ideal society that would say a person was innocent until proven guilty. But in this day and age, it was so easy for a mob to take matters into their own hands. It wasn't long ago that Pandora had been saved from a mob. And Xena herself had been judged harshly, before a trial could even begin.

And it was all thanks to Ares. Xena is lying beside me as I write these words. Though we've had little to no contact with The God of War the past few seasons, he's left his mark on our lives. Even before having to fight for Xena's life, Ares influenced my soulmate's soul.

It's part of the reason I've had such a tenuous, at best, relationship with The God of War. He was part of the reason Xena was so full of darkness, rage and power hungry. He wasn't the only reason. There were many influences early on for the warrior princess.

But Ares was the greatest, negatively, influence on my lovely better half. But it wasn't his influence that made our relationship so tenuous. It was the fact we both wanted the same thing. We both wanted Xena.

And there wasn't much Ares hasn't, or wouldn't do, to attempt to persuade Xena to come back to his side. To lead his armies. But it wasn't only about leading his armies. There was more. He wanted her, body, heart and soul.

Neither of us realized it at the time, though I was beginning to see the connection, that we belong to one another. At the time, it was heart and soul only, even if we hadn't admitted it. The body part, well, that happened later.

Being connected to Xena, heart and soul, only made it easier each time I defended her. It was with words I had attempted to make the villagers see exactly what Xena was becoming. Yes, her past was violent and bloody. But she had become so much more.

Seeing the violent nature the village became, even the younger generation wanting to see Xena dragged to death. That encounter with Ares, even if it wasn't face to face, changed me. And I know it changed Xena. And I know it changed our relationship.

It seemed every adventure we shared, even the ones before the great tragedy, as I can only refer to it, shaped how we related to one another. This one grew Xena's respect for me. And it showed me I can fight. If only with my words.

A path not taken led us to the reckoning. Realizing that our past sins can haunt us and that perception is as much a part of life as the truth is. But again, who's truth? Who's perception? In this case, I knew my soulmate was innocent. Even if a majority of the evidence told another tale.

The Reckoning

There were times when their travels got to her feet. Gabrielle knew she could easily ride double with Xena. They couldn't travel as far or as fast doing so, but it would save her feet. It would mean she wouldn't be so exhausted each night.

So why was it Gabrielle insisted on walking? There was her supposed fear of horses and heights. But, deep down, she knew it wasn't the truth. There was something more. Their last adventure had opened up the thoughts. But the bard was far from ready to accept them.

Gabrielle shook her head. It was time to be in the here and now. It was time to remember where she was and where she was going. And the fact Xena had promised her a road, a turnoff, about an hour ago. Well, if her friend couldn't find the road, she would.

Don't get lost? To some, it could be considered disparaging. But the fact Gabrielle had admitted she had become lost several times on the way to Amphipolis, it wasn't really. And it was also the fact she was still learning from Xena how to navigate by the stars and by the land around her.

Not exactly lost, but not finding the road, the stream had looked so inviting. Especially for her feet. Gabrielle had worked hard back in Potidaea, but nothing had prepared her for the constant traveling. Even with Xena taking it easy on her and stopping more than she liked, her feet were killing. A good soak would just be what she needed.

The water was amazing. Gabrielle had lost track of time as she allowed the coolness of the water to soothe her feet and wash the dirt and sweat of another day's travel from her. There was always dust and sweat to be washed away.

The sound of her name was barely heard Gabrielle was so lost in the sensation of the cool water. It felt so…There would have been only one thing better. Hastily her sandals were back on her feet as she made her way towards Xena.

The fact Xena was calling to her informed her that there was trouble. Why didn't Gabrielle trust in that and make haste to her friend? Why was she always the dreamer? Wasn't that what her father termed was her weakest trait?

Yet, it was what made Gabrielle a bard. Was it a great bard? Was it enduring to others, while it got her in trouble? She sighed as she made her towards her best friend. As Xena urged her onboard, her fears overtook her. The irrational fear of horses. But the angry shouts caused Gabrielle to move.

Once again, Gabrielle was hanging on for dear life. At least this time, she wasn't the one who was steering. Until she was a more capable rider, she wasn't ready to flee from an angry mob. Or whoever the people were giving chase.

Waiting until nightfall? It wasn't something Gabrielle was looking forward to. It would mean no fire. It would mean not eating. And worse, it would mean being afraid. Not that she wasn't confident in Xena's abilities to get them out of whatever fix they found themselves in.

It took a moment for Gabrielle to truly comprehend what Xena had implied. The need for revenge. Simple farmers. While she and Lyceus had dabbled in swords and fighting, they were innkeepers when the attack had taken place. His death was the beginning of Xena's downward spiral. And she had been, plain and simply, an innkeeper's daughter.

Who was she attempting to convince? Gabrielle knew what Xena said was true. While the warrior princess was innocent, looks could be deceiving. And the evidence was overwhelming. Still, Gabrielle had faith in people. Had faith justice would prevail.

It almost sounded as if Xena knew who the hooded man was. But she wouldn't say. Just as she wouldn't say when she told Gabrielle to get on the horse once again. And before the bard knew it, they were off riding. The townspeople had them surrounded.

It wasn't surprising Xena gave up without a fight. Of course, the lone condition was Gabrielle be given safe passage. But there was no way she would leave Xena alone. And yet, she had to. At least, until they could mount a defense.

When finally she made it to Xena, the warrior princess was like Gabrielle had never seen before. She was stripped and only in her undergarments. That was something the bard had seen. But to see her shackled and so vulnerable? It was not something Gabrielle wanted to ever see again.

As much as she hated to admit it, Gabrielle knew her friend was right. It wouldn't have been right to fight the farmers. It would have meant more innocent lives were harmed. It was frustrating knowing Xena could have escaped, if only there weren't innocents involved.

The warning to save herself was a little cryptic. Gabrielle knew her friend had an inkling of what was happening. Yet, as always, she wouldn't share with the bard. Why? To protect her? Wouldn't it be better if she was involved in every aspect of the adventures they found themselves experiencing?

It would help in finding justice. After all, there was nothing Gabrielle wouldn't do to help Xena gain her freedom. The first thing was to beg to be Xena's council. There was no way any of the villagers, even the leader, would prepare a defense as vehemently as the bard would.

Gabrielle wasn't certain she would have convinced Benitar if it hadn't been for the display the villagers had put on. In fact, it was probably her act of desperation of placing the rope around her own neck.

And no one understood that Gabrielle was as innocent as Xena, at least of the crimes she was accused of. She knew Xena wasn't happy she was still standing up for her. But where would she be without the warrior princess? She'd learned so much, but there was so much more to learn.

Plus, there was this connection between them. Even if Xena couldn't admit to it, it was as if the two had always meant to meet and travel the known world together. Or was it Gabrielle merely dreaming? It wouldn't be the first time.

Not about her? Gabrielle knew it wasn't about her. Even though she wanted to learn so much from Xena, she knew she could learn to live without her warrior princess. Even if it meant surrendering and making her way home. Or perhaps to Amphipolis?

And why was it stupid? A heavy sigh escaped Gabrielle as the words sunk in. As she'd said, just because she was an ordinary person didn't mean she couldn't fight. Especially if it was in defense of her best friend. But then, was it because Xena had been afraid she might have been harmed?

The fact was, the evidence was nearly overwhelming. But she had to try. Gabrielle knew there had to be a way to prove, even to angry villagers, her best friend was innocent. The witnesses sadly only saw the aftermath, not the actual fight.

It took a little while, but Gabrielle found what was necessary. There was proof of another mysterious fighter. Would it be enough to convince the villagers of Xena's innocence? There was one man she could attempt to convince.

How? How had the footprints merely disappeared? Gabrielle knew it made her look a fool after the evidence not being there. She sighed as she knew it made the defense of her friend that much more difficult.

As the testimony continued, Gabrielle was beginning to see how hopeless it was. She couldn't allow her hope to completely fade, but she was now certain Xena would be found guilty. Even when she'd made several excellent points, no one wanted to see them.

The most damning of testimony was from a dying man. And not being able to ask anything of him, Gabrielle knew his final words would have the greatest impact of all the testimony. She felt angry at having something or someone place Xena in this situation and for her not being able to help her friend.

Of course Gabrielle felt sympathy for the families of the victims. And wanted nothing more than to provide them comfort and closure. But at the expense of her friend who was innocent? There had to be something else they could do. Something else she could say.

There was more Gabrielle needed to do and that was further confer with the counsel. Then she would speak to Xena. There just had to be something they could do. The chaos she found and the hit she took from Xena were not what she expected. She hated crawling off, but Gabrielle needed to gather her thoughts.

It was as if there was a sign of some kind as Gabrielle wandered at the edge of town. When she found Argo, she knew what she needed to do. It wasn't long before she was wearing a hooded cloak and had some rope. Glancing around, she made certain no one was looking.

The surprise in Xena's voice was not surprising. It's not even angering as Gabrielle knew the violence shown would make most run. But she wasn't like most. She would never leave her best friend to fend for herself.

It had taken a moment to realize if Xena had been in her right mind, she never would have struck her. Gabrielle knew Xena would defend her with her very life. So it only made sense for her to return.

Xena's refusal was only slightly surprising. After all, the entire time of the trial it was as if her best friend wanted to be punished. There were so many past sins that Xena had never faced the consequences to and never would. But this wasn't a sin. This was defending those who could not defend themselves.

And the look on Xena's face, somehow Gabrielle knew. But of course her best friend wouldn't tell her what this new plan was. The fact she couldn't be involved only hurt slightly as Xena thanked her for coming back.

The guilty verdict wasn't surprising. It was crushing. Yet, Xena seemed pleased she had been found guilty. And before Gabrielle knew what was happening, the slain men were walking out of the tent. No one was harmed. No one was dead. She had to remind them to change the verdict.

A thanks. For Gabrielle, it meant everything. She knew how difficult it was for Xena to apologize or thank someone. Not because she wasn't sorry or grateful. It was the warrior way. And to the warrior princess, it showed weakness. Something she was unaccustomed to. Hopefully one day, with the bard, she wouldn't feel that way.

While she had owed Xena one, punching her was not the brightest thing. Though her hand hurt, Gabrielle sort of felt better. And yet, didn't. She knew it was empty at best. And there was the fact Xena was truly sorry.

Ever heard of Ares? The time flew as Xena related the tale. How The God of War had attempted to have her return to the fold. And how Xena had once again outsmarted the god. It didn't surprise Gabrielle. And yet, it made her wonder. Just where did Xena's many skills end?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Impatience. Xena shook her head at the youthful impatience her young companion showed. It was wanting to explore, to see what was around the next corner. In some ways, the warrior princess envied her friend. After all, it had been some time since Xena had that wanderlust.

Hopefully, it would be a long time before Gabrielle lost that wanderlust. That wanting to know what was around the next corner. To see where each road led to. Xena couldn't help the smirk upon her face. And once again, she was reminded of her younger brother.

Slowly, so that Xena wouldn't distance herself too far from her bard, she made her way towards what she knew was the road. But there was something in the air. There was a sound, no one would be able to hear. Except those that were trained like she was.

It was someone crying out in pain. A sound Xena was familiar with. At one time, it would have been a sound she treasured. It would have been a sound she attempted to hear. But now, she was rushing to stop such suffering. To make certain none had to suffer any kind of loss.

After all, it was what had started Xena on her path of destruction. Seeing Lyceus' body. Seeing what his death did to their mother. The warrior princess gritted her teeth as she made her way towards the wails. Only to find the cause behind the wails. It was time to do what she did best.

As the battle waged on, Xena realized she had met her match. In fact, there was something familiar about the mystery man's fighting style. It was as if Xena had fought the hooded warrior once before.

When the mysterious fighter suddenly disappeared, Xena was nearly certain she knew who it was. But it couldn't be. She'd had no true contact with the aberration before. Perhaps in a form and she didn't realize it…

It took a moment for Xena to react. She instantly went into healer mode. There were those beyond her skills. There was one she could help. But he had lost so much blood, he was unable to aid in his own healing.

And when the villagers came and saw the blood on her hands…Xena knew she was in trouble. She knew they wouldn't believe her when she told them the truth. She had been defending the innocent.

But she couldn't harm the farmers. For that's all the angry mob was. She had to escape. She had to get away. And she had to get Gabrielle. It was the first thought that entered Xena's mind. Even the safety of the villagers was second to where her bard was and getting her to safety.

Xena's heart was in her throat. It seemed to muffle her voice as it called out for her bard. It took how many attempts for Gabrielle to finally respond. And even when the warrior princess saw her, it took a moment for her to regain her focus.

How many times had Xena seen her bard bathing herself? And those times, Gabrielle had been completely naked. Was it the danger? The sun? The way the bard looked so innocent as she clearly enjoyed her bath?

Or was it the invitation. Xena managed to do what she always did. No matter how distracted she became, she did what she had to. That was to get Gabrielle motivated so they could attempt to escape the villagers.

There was only one way out. Xena knew only night would cover their attempt to escape. In the meantime, she would have to explain how innocent villagers were the most dangerous. After all, she was once an innocent villager. Until Cortese. Until her brother's death…

Trial? Gabrielle truly was innocent if she thought a trial would make a difference. Especially with the overwhelming evidence. If it was someone Xena cared for, Gabrielle for instance, it would have to be irrefutable evidence.

And the fact there was the familiar presence. If it was who Xena thought it was, most likely it would be beneficial to allow this to play out. To see if there was something to be gained…Or potentially lost.

Warning Gabrielle to get as far away as possible wasn't easy for Xena. But she needed to know the bard would do as she was asked. That she would survive to continue telling the stories the warrior princess secretly loved. But also hated. As they painted Xena as a heroine. She was far from that.

And there it was…Once again, Xena was sensing something. There was trouble brewing. At least Gabrielle was fighting her less when she was told to ride along with her on Argo. Even though both horse and bard weren't fans of one another.

It, unfortunately, wasn't long before Xena once again sensed something. Or was it smelled something? Anger? It actually does have a scent. While Anger was what most would label it as, there was also fear. Especially when it came to simple villagers.

Trying to turnaround so they could escape was a mistake. The fact Gabrielle needed more time on Argo wasn't lost on Xena. But there were more important matters. The fact the villagers now had her bard was all that mattered.

It was clear. One way or another, Gabrielle was to go free. Xena knew, as did the leader, she could easily fight her way through. It was clear, she hoped, she would surrender if they allowed her bard to go free.

It was time to stand trial. On some level, Xena wished it could be for her real crimes. On another, she wished merely to go free with Gabrielle by her side. It was the only way she could even attempt to make up for the atrocities she had caused.

The tossing of the sword was easier than Xena had thought. Was it looking into emerald eyes and knowing exactly what her bard would do in the same situation? Gabrielle would stand trial. She would use her words, instead of the sword. It was fitting she was looking into those emerald eyes as everything went dark.

It wasn't even amazing that Gabrielle was standing there asking how her head was. Xena had had worse. Her head pounding wasn't what was worrying her. The safety of her bard was of the only thing on her mind. That, and how to escape the latest mess she found herself in.

Xena sighed at the question. It could have been so easy to continue to fight. Even with Gabrielle captured, she could have fought her way through what the villagers called a defense. The only problem? Who would be harmed in the process. It could have even meant Gabrielle was the one who was harmed.

It would be nice if justice prevailed. But Xena had been around. She had seen what justice was like when it was left to those hurt by the actions of others. Even if it could be proven her innocence, most likely she would have to fight to gain her freedom. Or allow them to punish her.

Her determination was endearing, but Xena needed her bard to get to safety. Not to worry what happened to her. But she knew Gabrielle would remain. And she would do her best to prove her innocence.

As soon as Gabrielle had departed, there was something familiar once again Xena began to sense. It was something from her past. And the moment the male figure shimmered into view, Xena knew who he was.

It was true, at one time, Ares was her mentor. It was doing what she could for him that had partially driven her. And he had shown her so much. But he hadn't taught her how to live with herself and the consequences.

It was part of the reason Xena no longer wished to know Ares. It wasn't merely what his appearance was that had had the young warrior princess wondering. It was the power it was everything he was and more.

But now, Xena had better things to wonder about. She wondered if her tainted soul could ever be truly healed. If she could learn to live with the voices and the guilt that continued to haunt her. Even when she was awake, they haunted her.

To be transported away, it was nice. But it wasn't ideal. That would be if she was anywhere with Gabrielle. Xena couldn't allow those thoughts, feelings to bubble to the surface. Ares was not someone she could trust. He would use her weaknesses against her.

Xena had to admit, at least internally, she was impressed with Ares' choice of venue. But there was the serious side of this deadly game. There were three innocents dead. There was another who could lose his life. And there was Gabrielle.

Yes, they had been a great match. But it was true what Xena had said. It was her youth that made it so. It was the anger she felt inside. And it was the need for vengeance. But she was beyond that. Wasn't she?

More fun? Xena knew what the God of War was referring to. Not thinking of the consequences was more fun. But now she was fighting for the greater good. She was fighting to make the world a better place.

It was so tempting. Xena could fight by Ares' side and make the kind of decrees that would make the world a better place. She could have an army. Anyone she wanted, dead or alive, fighting alongside her or for her.

There wasn't what seemed to be a catch. But Xena knew better. The price of ruling by Ares' side didn't seem bad on the surface. But Xena knew what it could lead to. She wasn't ready for that. And all it took was saying his name. She'd keep that in mind.

And just like that, Xena was once again chained to the walls. But it wasn't long before she would see her fate. Part of her wanted to call out to Ares. But no. If this was her destiny, she would see it to the end.

But seeing Gabrielle with the rope around her neck…It wasn't acceptable. Xena needed to figure a way out of it. She knew Ares was the key. But timing, as with anything in life, was everything.

Why was it so different that Xena would have sacrificed herself? Because, she was a warrior. It's what she did. The world wouldn't shed a tear if she were to disappear. And yet, that wasn't the real reason. It was Gabrielle being in danger.

Defense? There wasn't much defense. There were witnesses. No one had seen the hooded man. While there was the hope of reason, in a place so full of hate and the need for revenge, it was unlikely a fair trial could take place.

Sitting on trial wasn't something Xena was accustomed to. It was easy to put on the stoic façade she had all the time. But hearing the testimony, it cut deep. So much like actions she would have taken in the past and enjoyed.

And hearing Gabrielle attempt to sway the jury and the villagers…Xena knew she was lucky to have the bard in her life. If not for her, she might already have had to do some bodily harm to the villagers to escape. Or allowed herself to be punished.

Even explaining away the blood only had a minor effect on the villagers. Once again, Xena couldn't blame them. Life was about perception. It was only a matter of how you looked at things. Everyone's truth was slightly different, depending on how they saw the so called facts.

And the testimony of a dying man was the final nail in her coffin. Xena knew she was to be found guilty. She knew there was only one she could turn to. Sadly, it wasn't Gabrielle. It would have to be him.

Part of her wanted now to call out to Ares. Especially as soon as the villager had entered. There was that look in his eyes. It was one she had shown so many. The physical beating she could endure. It was the names. Even though she was innocent this time, there were so many names on her list. Ones she should be punished for.

As the beating continued, Xena closed her eyes. Once again, she was close. As close as when she saw her form of punishment should she be found guilty. It wasn't surprising Ares was here once again. And this time, she knew exactly what to say and do.

Ares' words did something to her. It's that old familiar lust for carnage. For power. For killing. It was a sensation she'd attempted to keep bottled up for many moons now. And with Gabrielle by her side, she'd been able to do just that. But the burning deep within, it was Ares. And his words were fueling the flames.

Just like that, Xena was free. It was like she was given the strength of ten men she so easily ripped the chains from the walls. Now lost in her old cravings, she attacked those attacking her with ease. And even though she could hear the familiar voice, sense the familiar presence, it had no effect on her.

Not until Xena felt the contact. Not until she saw the utter fear in those emerald eyes. Instantly, the burning was gone. Left behind was regret. Left behind was calm. An almost eerie calm as once again Xena knew exactly what she needed to do.

It was not running. As she told Benitar, it was time she stood trial for what she had done. Xena appreciated the fact he wasn't about to judge her on her past, the evidence was still so overwhelming…

The familiar presence. The voice. How could Gabrielle come back for her? After striking her so harshly? Wasn't her? How did her bard know it wasn't her? Or was it wishful thinking? No, with Gabrielle, it was faith. Faith in humanity and faith in Xena. Just not always faith in justice.

Was it the way she spoke? Was it the way Xena had appeared? However it was, Gabrielle somehow just knew that the warrior princess was up to something. That there was a plan forming. Asking to be left alone was the most difficult thing. Especially after all that her bard had done for her.

Did she know? Xena hoped Gabrielle understood. In some ways, Xena didn't understand herself. But knew this was the way it had to be. It was the only way to escape such a heinous punishment.

It was the biggest condition. If found guilty, she would rule Ares' empire. Why had she repeated guilty? Because it was all part of her plan. Hopefully Ares wouldn't see through her veil until it was too late.

And the most important part. Xena could have anyone in her army, past or present. Alive or dead. Ares would do anything to show how much he wanted her back in his fold. To have her lead what would result in a brave new world of Ares' design.

Guilty. That was what Xena needed to hear. Part of her wished she could have told Gabrielle what was up her sleeve. But she couldn't take the chance on her bard accidentally letting it slip.

And just like that, Xena was free. Having called forth the men of the village who had been killed and Ares, for once, keeping his promise, she was free. There was no need for her to be whisked away. There was only one thing left. And that was for Xena to explain what had happened.

Right choice? As Xena and her companion made their way from the village, she knew for certain she had made the right choice for her. There were so many reasons why, but Gabrielle was the most important one of all.

And the adorable way Gabrielle had attempted to gain her payback…This, once again, was what Xena had been missing all these years. It was someone who understood her, which Gabrielle slowly was. It was also someone who could bring out the playful side of her. Even if to others, she remained the same stoic warrior.

And the ultimate question. How did Xena get those men to come back to life. Perhaps it was the warrior princess' turn to tell a tale. It would be the truth. There would be no embellishments, at least not until Gabrielle got a hold of it and added her own twist upon it. There was a part of Xena that couldn't wait to hear her friend's version.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The camp was quiet. Not like Xena was accustomed to. Even if it meant the rustling of parchment instead of Gabrielle relating their latest adventure or trying out one of her stories on the warrior princess.

Instead, Gabrielle was staring into the flames. Xena internally sighed as she pretended to go about her usual. Now that they had finished their evening meal, it was time for the warrior princess to relax. Or attempt to. And the only way was to sharpen and polish her sword.

Sometimes, it was only maintaining appearances as Xena waited for her bard to open up to her. Fortunately for the warrior princess, it didn't take much longer as the meager voice of her traveling companion pierced the darkness.

"Were you actually tempted to accept Ares' offer?" Gabrielle remained staring into the flames. It was as if she couldn't face even the possibility of being left behind. Even though they'd discussed this issue, it was still the bard's greatest fear.

So, this was the fear. Xena put her sword and chakram in their spot. She was confident they were safe where they were. It was a more secluded spot than normal, not that she ever chose anywhere fully in the open.

"There will probably always be a part of me that is tempted by what Ares offered me." Xena was now sitting next her bard. They were sharing Gabrielle's bedroll. If only they were sharing it for a different reason.

Xena cleared her throat at the thought. With each passing day, it seemed more and more to enter into her mind. The thought of she and Gabrielle as more than friends sometimes was too much now. But she couldn't allow for that. No matter how much she wanted it.

"There's a darkness inside me. You don't even know half of what I'm capable of." Xena was now the one staring into the flames, as if they had some answer she didn't even know the question to.

"You've shown me the light. A different path." Xena swallowed. She needed a drink. Unfortunately while traveling, the warrior princess traveled light. That meant water was the only beverage she had at hand.

"And it's a good path." Xena felt the hand on her thigh. Though she wanted to cover it with her own, she refrained. Friends. It was all they could ever have. Even if Gabrielle would ever want more.

"But the darkness that's inside of me…" Xena sighed. She remembered a similar conversation. It was just after their encounter with Morpheus. The pebble that remained at the bottom of the lake.

"And there will be reminders of my past." Now Xena couldn't speak without taking a sip of water. As if reading her mind, Gabrielle handed her the waterskin with her free hand. It was several long pulls the warrior princess took before being able to continue.

"And there will always be a pull." It wasn't something Xena was proud of. And yet, it was the truth. They could spend eternity together and there would always be this darkness inside. It could be contained. It could be useful. But it would never fully leave the warrior princess.

"Today, it was Ares. As much as it was Cortese who led me on my path of darkness, there was this other pull." Xena felt her bard lean into her. It was comforting. It was distracting. And it was oh so addicting.

"Ares reminded me of some of the things I used to crave. In the past, I would have done what he had. Slaughtered some villagers to make a point. To gain whatever I can." Xena didn't feel a flinch. In fact, she felt Gabrielle snuggle into her more.

"But I know that road it led me down. Killing off the right person would lead to the wrong person wanting revenge." Xena could feel the tears. What was it about her bard that caused her to feel so deeply?

"That was me. So as much as what Ares was offering me was tempting, especially the merely living part, I couldn't allow that to happen." There was one thing Xena knew they needed to discuss further.

True, Gabrielle had gained her 'revenge' or paybacks by punching her, it wasn't enough. Sometimes words left unspoken were the worst thing in the world. Especially if they were I love you.

"And that brings us to another discussion we need to have." Xena shoved her emotions deep within. Especially when she felt her traveling companion stiffen. "It's about me striking you."

"Xena, we already went over this." Gabrielle now had pulled away. She was looking into cobalt eyes. They were as cold as a clear winter's day sky. And yet, there was an underlying warmth as well.

"And I'm not talking about the paybacks." The sentiment caused Xena to smirk. A small crack in the walls the warrior princess continued to maintain, even from Gabrielle. It saddened the bard, but knew it would take time. Maybe all of eternity to break through.

"I had to do some thinking after you struck me." Gabrielle once again knew a little humor would help the situation. "I know, that's dangerous when it comes to me." Once again, there was the tiniest of cracks as Xena's lips twitched.

"It didn't take long. I just knew, deep within, you were not yourself." Gabrielle once again was leaning against her warrior princess. She was only slightly surprised when she felt the arm wrap around her waist.

"That there was something influencing you. I didn't know it was Ares, God of War. I thought maybe the physical beating you had taken. Or the fear you might die." Gabrielle felt the inhalation of breath.

"So when you hit me, it hurt. On an emotional level more so than physical." Gabrielle once again barely felt the flinch. It was the only emotion she would garner from her warrior princess.

"But I realized something. It was striking me that brought you back to me." The choice of words was more important than Gabrielle realized. But the warrior princess knew. "And it might happen again. But know this…"

Once again, Gabrielle made it so she was looking her warrior princess directly in the eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you. Until you want me to go away. Our friendship…"

It didn't need to be said. Xena understood. Their friendship was everything. And it would continue to be. It was only a matter of taking one day, one adventure at a time. Where would their next path lead them?


	7. Chapter 7

There are moments in everyone's relationships, whether merely friends or lovers, that changes things. Perhaps not changes everything, but enough so it forces one to open their eyes. And the relationship is never the same.

It happened during our adventure with The Titans. I was, as usual in the beginning, naïve. I only wanted to help people. Not knowing what was happening, I brought back The Titans. And then I became full of myself and attempted to use their power for my and other's gain.

What I regret the most about that adventure was thinking I had met my soulmate. Or at the very least, I had met a kindred spirit. When in fact, I had someone who believed in me, without question.

And didn't treat me as the kid I was. I can actually hear Xena smirking as I write. That first year or so, I was always attempting to have Xena see me as an equal. As more than an annoying traveling companion.

Looking back, I know. I was a child in a way. While technically an adult and betrothed to marry, I was also the little girl who'd rarely left the farm. Who didn't have many experiences, outside the farm.

I feel a gentle squeeze. Xena now understands exactly what I was feeling back then. She never had those experiences as so many had shaped her childhood. In a way, stolen her childhood.

It was the learning process. Xena was harsh on me because it's how she had learned. I still remember her words to me when I attempted to help with Argo. It was a single word. Improve.

I feel a kiss upon the back of my neck. To this day, Xena now regrets most of the harsh ways she attempted to teach me. But it wasn't just her. There were other harsh lessens I, we, faced down the road.

Facing The Titans and how close I was to losing my innocence was the first time I truly began to internally grow. Oh, I'd learned a few lessens along the way. But having the power of the gods was something I wasn't prepared for. Luckily, I had Xena beside me. As always.

The Titans

The usual walking suddenly took on another turn as Xena merely handed Gabrielle the reins and asked she take care of the horse. It wasn't normal. Perhaps it was an attempt to make Gabrielle and Argo get along.

It was the first time Xena had trusted her companion to take care of her precious horse. It meant a great deal to Gabrielle to be given the opportunity. She only hoped she didn't mess it up. Of course, if there was a way, Gabrielle would find it.

It wasn't so bad taking care of Argo. Unsaddling the large horse had been a bit daunting, seeing Gabrielle's lack of height. And for a moment, it felt as if the animal and bard were actually getting along.

That was until Xena reappeared. Gabrielle hadn't heard her calling. And the fact it hampered Xena's pursuit of the latest bad guy. Once again, Gabrielle had meant well. But, as Xena had said, she needed to improve.

Or was it Xena needed to realize this was all new to Gabrielle? That she was learning as readily as she could. That she had her place. If only Xena could see her for more than a mere child and trust in her.

Once again, Gabrielle found herself on the side of the road, as it were. Xena was off on her own to capture a bad guy. If only Xena trusted the bard more. Or taught her some minor defensive skills, besides running that is.

The chanting caught her attention. Gabrielle was able to study the works each village they visited contained. Most weren't much because most small villages couldn't afford to sustain a library or book shop. Sad, really.

Gabrielle hadn't meant to be rude, but it was a simple mistake the young girl was making. The studying had paid off as the unthinkable happened. Gabrielle found herself in control of The Titans.

Even though it was really The Titan who had helped Xena, it had felt so good to be the one who, in a way, saved the warrior princess. Gabrielle was beginning to enjoy the power that came with having them do her will.

Being the one to say no harm was something new to Gabrielle. It was quite intoxicating indeed. Of course, the bard was brought back to the known world for a moment. The Titan just had to call her the virgin goddess.

The look Xena had on her face at the mention of her being a virgin…Gabrielle was more embarrassed with the fact her best friend knew, rather than all the strangers surrounding them.

Giving orders to The Titans came far too easily. And felt far too good. If Gabrielle took the time to think about it, wasn't this the road Xena had taken not that long ago? Yes, it was grief and revenge that had started her down the road.

But it had also been power. The story of Xena was her wanting to supposedly make Amphipolis safe. Use money and her army to make those fear her home village. But it had quickly gone beyond that.

The tone of voice was crystal clear. Xena was not approving of what Gabrielle was doing. For once, it was Gabrielle who could save the day. For once, it was Gabrielle in control.

Never before had Gabrielle been given gifts like she was. It was another dose to the high she was already on. And it was stroking her ego. Something that had never happened. And something she was beginning to become addicted to.

After all, her father had never appreciated her gifts. Gabrielle was beginning to wonder if Xena would ever appreciate all she was and what she could do for the warrior princess.

And when faced with the fact Gabrielle could be usurping her power…It was easy to deny. And difficult for her to see for herself. And the way Xena also tried to tell her about how one of The Titans was beginning to see her for who she was…

And when faced with the truth, that the Gods encased The Titans the way they had…The power she had? Gabrielle knew exactly what power she had. And she would continue to use it.

The first stumbling block in her ruse to make The Titans believe she was a goddess was food. Gabrielle had to think quick on her feet so that she could, hopefully, maintain the control and power she had.

And just like that, Gabrielle was on the ground. Xena had to, as always, step in and defend her. Unfortunately, it also placed the villagers in danger. They managed to get nearly everyone to the safety of the temple. But it wouldn't hold off The Titans for long.

It was easy to defend Phyleus. Gabrielle, had she known what she was doing, would have done the same thing. If there was a way to make village life easier, the bard wouldn't have hesitated. Without thought, she would have called upon The Titans as well.

Would she have made the same mistake? Would Gabrielle have been able to resist the power? She'd like to think so. But her next thoughts were about how to make it right. As Xena went after the children, it was all Gabrielle could think of.

Tied up again. It wasn't unusual. It seemed Gabrielle was under someone's lock and key. Mostly as bait so that Xena would come to the rescue. Though it did surprise her a tad, Gabrielle had to say that it didn't.

While tied up, Gabrielle and Phyleus had come up with an idea. It was mostly Phyleus as he knew more about the ancient texts than the bard. It was a simple solution. And only Gabrielle would be in danger.

Why wouldn't Xena allow it? Was it the fact she was ordinary? Just like their encounter with Ares, why was it so difficult for Xena to trust Gabrielle could do as she said and not be harmed?

It was all Gabrielle could talk about as they attempted to gain some sleep. When morning came, she found herself snuggled close to Phyleus. While there was a part of her curious what it would be like to kiss him, if not more, she couldn't bring herself to do something so…

But Xena thought she had. Gabrielle was angry. Why was it so difficult for Xena to see how far she'd come? That she wasn't just a kid? Well, she wasn't going to allow Xena to continue to dictate what she did.

And before she could even attempt to rectify her mistake, Gabrielle found herself in the clutches of The Titans once again. There was only one thing she could do. That was become the bard she was becoming known for.

It was easy to fool The Titans. At first by reading it incorrectly. And then to make them think that she was no longer the virgin who summoned them. And yet, it caused her great danger as she was no longer in a position to give The Titans what they wanted.

Just when Gabrielle thought she was done for, Xena appeared. It was a struggle, and if Theia had not helped, they might not have defeated The Titans. But once again, they made certain the greater good was restored.

Retelling the story was…different. Gabrielle was as much of the reason things had worked out for the better. Of course, she had been the reason things had become out of hand. But the last omission. Was it actually true?

Luckily, Xena interrupted once again. And asked the question that plagued the bard. It was easy to answer. Gabrielle had to make it up to Xena. Fix the mistake she had made. Especially to make certain she wasn't hated.

Everything went right out the door the moment Xena said those words. She could never hate Gabrielle. Yes, there were the other things. Jokes they shared. And of course the warning not to touch Argo.

But Xena had said what the bard already knew. That she could never hate Gabrielle. And it was what she would hold onto. When things looked bleak. When things are at their worst. Gabrielle would remember that she could never be hated.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Just when things looked like they would start out boring, Xena sensed something. She wouldn't need Argo, but she would need to keep Gabrielle busy. And she could maybe get bard and horse to get along a little better.

The usual banter as Xena attempted to take yet another of her former cohorts into custody. As with their latest adventure, she couldn't help thinking how, in a way, she should be the one to be hunted.

Just when she thought she had him, Xena's whistle went unanswered. Something was wrong. Argo would never disobey her. It was as she'd feared. It was because of Gabrielle. Her intentions might have been in the right place, it allowed Hesiod a huge head start.

Xena hadn't meant to be so harsh on her bard. It was allowing someone to get the better of her that was oh so annoying. Still, Gabrielle did need to learn. Timing was everything.

Like when to walk into a bar. And when to confront the bad seed. Make them think they had the upper hand. It was oh so easy. Even when she was suddenly outnumbered, there was no doubt she would prevail. For even though it was only one man, he was the worst of the worst.

And then there was Gabrielle. Xena was having trouble wrapping her mind around how easily her bard was ordering around The Titans. The beings of legends. And yet, she knew they existed at one time. Just as the Gods did now.

Xena couldn't maintain her composure. It was only briefly, but the smirk was there. Why discovering Gabrielle was a virgin caused the warm sensation throughout her body…It made it difficult to concentrate on the problem at hand.

It was Hesiod, though he still had to be dealt with. It was Gabrielle's glib explanation. It was how she was already allowing the power The Titans granted her to go to her head. It was a dangerous slippery slope. One Xena had already attempted to tread and had fallen deeply.

Even when attempting to show how easily the power was getting to Gabrielle and how devious The Titans most likely were, the bard just didn't get it. It was frustrating Xena not being able to show her traveling companion what she had learned the hard way.

The aura of a goddess? Xena wanted to be ill. It was obvious this was Gabrielle's man of the adventure. Not that she could blame these men for falling for the bard. Xena certainly was falling for her companion. Falling?

Once again, Xena had a knack for appearing at the right moment. This time, it was when Gabrielle was discovered to be a fraud. Or at the very least, no goddess. It was easy to be her bard's protector. She would be that, if Gabrielle allowed, for as long as she allowed.

Unfortunately, there were too many for Xena to protect from the likes of three Titans. They needed to get everyone to safety. Luckily, Phyleus was at least good for one thing. He knew a safe place for them to hide out in.

It was easy to fall into medic mode. It distracted Xena and yet allowed her to think. The fact The Titans wanted her was a good thing. It meant the others were safe, at least for a short time. Still, it was Gabrielle she was worried about.

More so because Hesiod would do anything to escape her grasp and the forthcoming punishment. He would be stupid enough to attempt to appease The Titans. Anything for a profit and to better himself.

For now, there was something more pressing. Xena had to find the children. They were innocents. The only problem? It left Hesiod alone. Especially alone since Gabrielle would most likely find a way to get into trouble.

It was easier than Xena had thought to rescue the children. And the surprise that awaited her when she returned shouldn't have surprised her. Whether criminal or villager, fear was a great motivator.

It was clumsy at best attempting to present Xena the way they did. The warrior princess had escaped worse prisons. And she would continue to. Now, to get back to Gabrielle and the rest of the villagers.

As always, it took seeing what kind of payment one would receive for aligning themselves with The Titans. Just a stain. At least there was one less for Xena to track down and make certain justice was served.

Volunteering to work as one was necessary. It would take all of them working as one before The Titans could be defeated. Even then, working against anyone with the power The Titans possessed it might not be enough.

Rest was what everyone needed. But there would be little time for that. Hopefully Gabrielle would manage some rest. But before that, Xena had to attempt to explain why. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to tell her bard it would be too dangerous. That she couldn't face losing Gabrielle.

Seeing Gabrielle snuggled so closely to Phyleus, Xena nearly lost it. Her first thought was…She'd lost her bard. That someone else had…What? Xena had no right to Gabrielle, other than friendship and traveling companion.

A kid? No, it wasn't that Xena thought Gabrielle was a child. Not anymore. Not only because they bathed with each other every night and Xena could see her bard was no longer a child.

While Gabrielle may have a great deal to learn about life and dealing with others, she was no longer a child. Naïve, yes. Trusting, yes. But no longer the little girl who blindly followed her and rescued her.

And yet, Gabrielle would do something stupid to prove herself to Xena. The warrior princess sighed as she quickly processed her options. Move quickly and hope Gabrielle could do what she did best, which was to talk.

As they set up, Xena could hear Gabrielle. She was indeed stalling. But there would only so much one bard could do, even if she was as amazing as Gabrielle. And the last bit of stalling…Had her bard actually given up her innocence? It stung more than the warrior princess would care to admit.

Xena had to place her relief aside at hearing her bard had intentionally read the scroll incorrectly. There was still so much that had to be done. They would have to work as one to defeat The Titans.

Once Xena had the scroll, it was only a matter of time. But of course it was never easy. There had to be a piece missing. And Hyerion had broken free of his restraints. But in the end, working together, they finally defeated The Titans.

To make up for what she had done? So that Xena wouldn't hate her bard? The warrior princess could never hate Gabrielle. She might not like the choices she made. Or the people she was friends with.

But Xena could never hate her bard. It was true Gabrielle had made mistakes over the years. It was true Gabrielle needed to learn. But as Xena informed her, they would always be friends. And of course, never to touch her horse again.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena had avoided speaking to her charge. Their travel away from the village had been in silence. A rarity for Gabrielle. The evening ritual had also been performed in virtual silence. There had been so many times when the warrior princess had wanted to say something.

But speaking wasn't her strength, especially when she knew Gabrielle was so upset still. The only other problem was what was bothering her bard the most. Was it another lost potential love?

Or was because of how Xena had treated her? The warrior princess still regretted how harshly she had spoken to her bard. She had been caught up in the moment, unable to express her fears. Her need to protect Gabrielle.

Those questions, and more, had kept the warrior princess up the entire night. It was a good thing Xena could function on little to no sleep. Still, she couldn't keep functioning this way. She would have to bite the chakram and speak to her traveling companion.

It would have to wait until after she had finished the morning hunt. While they had replenished their supplies in the last village, it didn't mean Xena had to stop hunting for their morning and evening meal.

Plus, the way her bard could eat at times, Xena wanted to make certain their supplies lasted as long as possible. The rustling in the bushes informed the warrior princess she wasn't alone. But was it prey? Or was it a certain bard?

"Come out." Xena still held her arrow at the ready. Even though she was nearly a hundred percent certain it was her bard. Sure enough, Gabrielle slowly emerged from behind the bushes. "You should know better than to follow me."

"I guess I'll just have to improve." Gabrielle blinked several times, before she ran into the thick forest. It was in the wrong direction. Xena sighed. She'd give the bard a head start, before finally facing what it was that needed facing.

It wasn't too long Xena waited. Gabrielle was where she expected to find her. There was something about the water her bard loved. Not that Xena could blame her. Swimming and fishing were the only times the warrior princess felt…

Almost like a child once again. Xena made certain to make noise. If Gabrielle wanted to run, she wanted to give the bard a head start. Slowly, the warrior princess made her way to the small pond.

It was barely deep enough to wade in, yet Gabrielle was making herself at home. And it caused Xena to swallow. It truly was the most difficult thing about all of this. There was no way the warrior princess could see her bard as the little girl who she had saved in a clearing.

"We need to talk." Xena felt like they were having this discussion after every adventure. It wasn't something she enjoyed. And yet, she knew Gabrielle benefited from them. She did as well. She hated admitting it, though.

Gabrielle reluctantly looked at her warrior princess. There had been so many things she had wanted to say. Why had she been so…crabby? She sighed heavily as she knew Xena was right. Yet another talk was in order.

The bard stood, the water cascading down her legs. It shown brightly with the early morning sun now peaking over the horizon. It was cool this morning and the sun felt amazing on Gabrielle's skin.

It went unnoticed by Gabrielle how her appearance had affected the warrior princess. "Then let's get started. But could we do it over a meal. I'm starving." Levity. It was something the bard wasn't exactly known for.

"When aren't you." Xena knew exactly what her friend was attempting to do. For now, she would allow the humor. She would allow the deflection. But once they were back at camp, they would need to have a serious discussion.

Since Xena hadn't had any luck with the hunt, it was Gabrielle who made do with some of their rations. The warrior princess had come to appreciate the cooking skills her traveling companion had. And since it was not one of her many skills, it was a good thing.

"I'm sorry." Gabrielle nearly dropped her plate when Xena's voice permeated the calm of the morning. "I was upset. I don't like when people get away. When I lose." It wasn't what this was about, but it was a start.

Gabrielle could have accepted the apology, which she knew wasn't easy for the warrior princess. But she could not allow for things to go unsaid. If they started to bury things, not be completely honest, it would fester.

And one day, it would boil to the surface. Gabrielle only hoped she would remember this down the road. What they were facing now wasn't simple. But it could be rectified. If only they were to communicate with each other.

"I appreciate the apology." Gabrielle stood slowly. She made her way toward the fire. It was not because she was cold, though she was unlike her warrior princess. "And I do intend to keep learning. So I'm sorry as well."

Xena sighed internally. She knew Gabrielle would allow the conversation to end. Not that they couldn't discover other things to speak about. But it wouldn't be what was needed so that they could continue to grow closer.

Was it what Xena wanted when she reacted so angrily to seeing Gabrielle in bed with another? Wasn't it dangerous for their feelings to continue to grow? After all, the warrior was known for her temper. And yet, was learning to control that anger, fearful of a volcano erupting.

Like when Gabrielle had not had Argo ready. Like when fear overtook her and Xena didn't react as well as she could have when her bard had offered to be the one to put The Titans back in place. Like when she had seen Gabrielle in bed.

That had nearly been the volcano erupting. If it hadn't been for the innocent villagers, Xena might have done something she regretted. As she regretted many acts from her Destroyer of Nations days.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Xena hesitantly rose. She cautiously made her way to her bard. Cautiously, the warrior princess placed her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "I, however, have something that needs saying."

There was no reaction on Gabrielle's part. Xena wondered if her bard was bracing herself. "I was harsh when I reacted to your desire to attempt to help in defeating The Titans. It was…uncalled for."

Gabrielle turned. In the process, Xena's hand was knocked from her shoulder. It left her with an empty feeling. Strange seeing her warrior princess remained standing so close. "You were worried about me. I get it. Just like against Ares."

"It's not exactly the same." Xena had to word things carefully. This was dangerous territory. For the both of them. "I knew, most likely, that I could trick Ares. And if you were there, he'd only use you against me."

The bard smiled sweetly before staring into the fire. "Always looking out for me. And yet, I always seem to be getting into trouble. Captured and put in jail. Kidnapped and nearly sacrificed to Morpheus."

"Gabrielle…" Xena understood better why it was her bard had attempted to make things right. Already, the warrior princess had saved her traveling companion on numerous occasions. It was how they had met.

"No, Xena. I get it. I'm always getting myself into trouble. And even after I was the one that raised The Titans, you attempted to shield me from the consequences." Gabrielle took a breath, knowing Xena would object.

"And I was feeling guilty. I needed to make right what I had, with all good intentions, but was acting out of guilt rather than thinking things through." Gabrielle didn't know if Xena would fully understand. Though she knew Xena carried her own guilt and regrets.

"Something I know nothing about." The statement elicited a less than hearty chuckle from Gabrielle. "We both didn't handle that part very well. And both need to improve." Finally, a genuine laugh.

"There is something else we need to discuss." And finally, the most difficult thing for Xena to find the right words. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I had no right, whether or not you'd made a choice, to react that way."

"Xena!" Gabrielle wanted to slap her warrior princess. "No right? We've been traveling together for how long now. We only have each other to rely on." There was a disgruntled neighing.

"How could I forget you, Argo." Argo's head nodded up and down, as did stomping of her front right hoof. Gabrielle smirked. She hoped she and Argo had come to an understanding. Or would there be more they had to endure before they became friends.

"If I do or say something, it affects you." Gabrielle made certain she had eye contact with her warrior princess. "So if I had made a choice, whether right or wrong, you have every right to react. Even be angry."

Azure eyes blinked several times. This was it. It was another time in their travels where Xena could merely agree with her bard. Allow Gabrielle to believe that was what had happened. Why the warrior princess had become so upset.

"And what I say or do affects you." Xena took a deep, cleansing breath. "Or if I become upset because I was jealous." Startled emerald eyes bore into cobalt eyes. "I guess I was hoping you wouldn't make the same mistakes I did."

Gabrielle was puzzled. Jealous? Mistakes? She turned from her friend. Not because she couldn't handle the coldness in those azure eyes. By now, the bard understood it was a wall. A masking of Xena's true feelings.

The way Xena was shifting, the bard knew her friend didn't want to elaborate. And then it hit Gabrielle. "You mean thinking before…" How to put it? "Giving into physical pleasure, especially under extreme circumstances?"

Once again, Xena knew it was only partially what she was feeling towards the situation. But to be completely honest? There was no way she would admit to Gabrielle she had been jealous that anyone had touched her.

Whether it was a kiss, holding hands, snuggling in bed or…Xena couldn't bear the thought of Gabrielle losing her innocence. As much as she hated lying or withholding anything from her bard, she knew this time she must.

At least for the foreseeable future. "My first experience wasn't all that pleasant." Xena remembered. Some thought it was her fiancé who had taken her innocence. That had not happened until Cortese had taken her.

It was another reason why Xena would continue to seek out the warlord. Hopefully she would have learned to curb her violent tendencies and make certain Cortese paid for his crimes. And in a legal manner, unlike when Xena had been put on trial.

"It's made my encounters of the flesh…" Xena didn't know how they had managed upon this discussion. It was becoming too close to the real reason she had been so angry. So jealous.

"Let's just say that I'm now very particular who I share my bedroll with." Xena swallowed hard. Those words could be taken in many ways. One was how often already, she and Gabrielle had technically shared a bedroll.

"I think I understand. I mean, I've never been in a position to be forced…" Gabrielle saw the inflamed azure eyes and decided it was time to change the subject. "You don't have to worry about me. I always promised my mother I would wait until I was married."

It took a moment for Xena to focus on her bard once again. Gabrielle was so innocent and naïve. It was so enduring. So intoxicating. The warrior princess shook her head. "Not like there aren't any temples along the way."

Gabrielle once again allowed a chuckle to escape her. It was a way of releasing the tension. And yet, she sensed Xena hadn't been completely honest with her. It was her warrior princess' prerogative.

As Gabrielle finally did what was expected of her, which was to clean up and help break camp, she wondered what was next for them. What would the adventure lead to as far as discussion?

Xena managed to watch her bard as she continued to ready them for travel. Argo was ready to go, as was the warrior princess. Xena wondered how long she would be able to continue to hide her feelings.


	8. Chapter 8

Sometimes meeting an icon, a demigod no less, can be interesting and perhaps not what one expects. It was under dire circumstances the first time I met Hercules and Iolaus. Who knew it would be my fellow sidekick I would be most inspired by.

I know this is a sore subject for both of us. I know this because Xena decided now was the best time for drills. She's not fooling me. It has been a long time since I wasn't able to see through whatever excuse she used to avoid emotions.

For Xena, fighting for the greater good alongside Hercules brought up bad memories. While it was the demigod who had started the warrior princess on her road to doing good, there was the dark side to their relationship.

Like attempting to turn Iolaus against Hercules. And having succeeded for a while. I didn't know it at the time, but Hercules and Xena had had a more intimate connection. And the games she had played with Iolaus' heart had hurt the caring man deeper than I could have foreseen.

Even now, knowing what happened in the past, I have trouble placing myself in Xena's boots. How would it have felt coming across the demigod who changed you? Who you'd been more than friends with?

And to see the man you so cruelly used falling for your best friend, who you had hidden feelings for. I don't think I can grasp what our adventure really meant to the other. What path it was leading us towards.

I think every encounter I had with a man who seemed to care for me opened the door more for me to realize exactly what I was building with Xena. And the story I related to Iolaus…How could I have been so blind for so long?

I guess it's because I was young. It's because there was an expectation of me. As there is of us all. To marry, settle down and have kids. And while the normality is between men and women, it wasn't how it had to be.

So why? Perhaps it's because there's a path to each of our destinies. Sometimes we don't know the twists and turns. It's not up to us to decide when something happens. And sometimes we are too terrified to take a chance. To do what is in our hearts. And sometimes we take the easy way out. Or what seems like the easy way out.

So meeting with Hercules and Iolaus could have been so different. But with Xena suffering from guilt over how she treated both and me meeting an icon…We never were true to ourselves. And it took us much longer for the feelings that were growing by the day to come to the surface…

Prometheus

It was a great way to start the day. Being awakened by some kind of dream, only to discover one had missed a great deal of action. To have missed once again the warrior princess in action. And to be summoned to help save someone's life.

It was so like Xena. Attempting to save the life of someone who would have gladly taken hers. It could have been because of money. Or even to brag they were the one to end the warrior princess' life.

It was funny, in a way, to tell Xena once again she was a good person. Gabrielle knew her warrior princess would never accept that. That she would continue to make up for her past sins. That's why every so often, the bard needed to remind her best friend what a truly good person she was.

The storm was upon them by the time they made it to the inn. Xena was right, the man was no friend of theirs. But they would not allow him to die. They would also help the others that seemed to be struggling with their health.

It happened so suddenly. Just like the man Xena had been attempting to save and the one struggling with an untold illness had died. Was Xena right? Was something wrong? Or was it merely a deathly coincidence both died nearly at the same time.

The sound nearly terrified Gabrielle. It was a wailing like no other. Prometheus was screaming? Was he in trouble? If so, it would explain a great deal. People dying. Losing the gift to heal one's self and the gift of fire could be dire for mortals.

Xena was being cryptic once again. There was more going on than merely visiting the particular oracle. Why? Hadn't they been through enough already? Didn't the warrior princess trust the bard?

At least Xena had said friend. But there were so many friends Gabrielle didn't know. And once again remain until nightfall. It wouldn't be safe. Did Xena really think anywhere was truly safe when she wasn't around? When she was around?

It seemed like an eternity for Xena to return. There were so many thoughts that rushed through Gabrielle's mind. She had trouble focusing on any of them. While the beginnings of a story were already taking shape, she was too worried about what her best friend was facing.

Not that Gabrielle didn't have faith in her warrior princess. It was the fact that one day, we all face something we can't handle. Whether it be alone or together, there was a limit to the things we can do.

Never a doubt? That wasn't exactly true. If only because, no matter how good one is, there is always someone out there better. Or luckier. But overall, Gabrielle did have faith in her warrior princess.

What would Gabrielle do if something ever happened to Xena? It wasn't something the bard cared to dwell on. The logical thing would be to become a traveling bard. Even without schooling, it was something Gabrielle could probably make a living with. But Athens would be the best place to learn.

The salesman was definitely a salesman. Part of Gabrielle had wanted to see what goods he had to sell. But she knew there was something more important. And Xena insisted on finding the cave of Hephaestus.

It must be important. The man continued to push his goods and Xena continued to ask. Gabrielle wouldn't want to be the stranger when her best friend said it was the last time she was going to ask.

Stay here? Gabrielle sighed. She knew better than to ask once again to go with Xena. But remaining with the pesky salesman? Whose goods were so blatantly fakes…It was going to be a long wait.

And then he walked in. A stranger looking for Hercules. Not knowing his name, Gabrielle knew he could be someone important. And possibly she could gain information for when Xena returned.

Best friend? Hmm. Gabrielle could not only maybe gain information Xena needed, but find out what it was like to be the sidekick to someone so powerful. While Xena wasn't a demigod, she was an amazing fighter who would do anything for anyone.

Helping? Gabrielle always wanted to learn to fight. While she didn't want to be harmed or make Xena worry even more, wouldn't being able to fight be even better than standing on the sidelines and merely writing about their adventures together.

Definitely something had happened between Xena and Iolaus. While Gabrielle had heard some of the tale, it wasn't like witnessing it. How much of it was truths? How much of it was lies? Would she ever know the entire story?

Not want him with them just because Iolaus knows Hercules? Gabrielle was more confused than ever. The demigod was one of the good guys. Shouldn't they be seeking his help instead of avoiding him?

Hearing the tale of Xena's betrayal caused Gabrielle to…What? The bard had known there was quite the history. But causing Iolaus to love her, merely so she could dispose of Hercules…

And the demigod. What did Hercules think of the warrior princess now? Was it positively? After all, Xena had dedicated herself to the greater good since they departed. Sure, there were a few bumps along the way.

And the so called girl talk hastily turned to a fight. Gabrielle remained out of the way. Surprised when Hercules and Iolaus joined in the fray. While she was glad they had arrived when they had, she also felt upset she couldn't help.

The final piece of the puzzle. The sword Xena had risked to obtain was also deadly to the person who struck the blow. Gabrielle now knew why Xena hadn't wanted Hercules involved. The warrior princess would think the world would be better with the demigod than herself.

Gabrielle was glad that the demigod's gauntlets were made of the same material as the sword and therefore able to deflect it, without Hercules being harmed. But she'd seen what had happened to the man who had struck the blow.

It hit Gabrielle like a ton of bricks. Hercules and Xena would both argue over striking the blow. Not because either wanted the glory. It was because they both were into self-sacrifice. Both thinking the world would be better with the other remaining in it.

At least Hercules had agreed with Gabrielle. They needed to work together. And while they traveled, this would be the best time for personal stories. But just like Xena, the demigod rebuffed the attention. Instead, it was up to Iolaus who also asked for a moment of time.

Gabrielle attempted to hear what Xena and Hercules were speaking of, but they were too far away. Besides, Iolaus probably had many tales to tell. If she could get him to open up. He seemed more reserved than he had when they had first met.

Instead of climbing the mountain, Hercules knew of caves. It would be, hopefully, easier to traverse. The thought the stories had come directly from Zeus had Gabrielle excited. First, she had met a demigod. Now she was hearing firsthand about the king of the gods.

But then Hercules became Xena. Gabrielle was a bit frustrated as neither hero was talkative. But she had Iolaus still to speak with. But there was something wrong. Her first instincts were to tell Xena and Hercules. But Iolaus was right, in a way. There was no helping him until Prometheus was free.

And the first trap. Gabrielle was so grateful for the demigod's strength. Though knowing Xena, she would have discovered a way to save them all. It was what she did. It's what the bard now expected of her.

And it was beyond obvious when Iolaus tried to run. It was time to come clean. Gabrielle knew he hated it. More so because it was time to part ways. She would remain with Iolaus, while the two heroes continued on to their destiny.

It wasn't exactly an embrace, but it was more than Gabrielle normally received when she remained behind. Was it because it could be the final time she saw Xena? The thought caused the bard to become ill. Yet, she had to remain strong. She and Iolaus would survive. But would it be her best friend or Hercules joining them?

Proud to have known Xena. Gabrielle understood completely. Yet it was different because Iolaus had witnessed the darkness himself. Perhaps, that's why it was so much more when he uttered those words.

Letting down her guard a moment, Gabrielle couldn't help but wonder what it was Xena saw in her. Was it the doom that loomed? Or was it the way they had actually shown public displays of affection?

Relating of the story, Gabrielle wondered who she was thinking of. She was finding herself fond of Iolaus. Fonder than she had any of the other men who had entered her life. But it was Xena who affected her on an all-around basis more than anyone.

And finally, all was right with the world. Gabrielle had been nervous about saying goodbye to Iolaus. Once again, she wanted to know if it was him or Xena she had been thinking. But when he had not remembered her tale…

The kiss was sweet. It was Gabrielle's first true kiss. Yes, she had kissed Perdicus. But it was different with Iolaus. Was it because he hadn't grown up with her and they had not been betrothed?

One last look. Gabrielle couldn't help but glance one more time at Hercules and Iolaus. While it had been interesting meeting the demigod, it had been so much more meeting Iolaus. But how did it compare with her growing feelings for Xena?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sometimes anticipation could be considered a good thing. And there was a part of Xena that would always love the planning and the fulfillment of such a plan. But with Gabrielle innocently sleeping, unaware of what was happening, it was slightly different.

Still, watching the idiot slaughter their melon had been fun. But it was time to get down to business. It was time to make certain these idiots never attempted to claim whatever bounty was on Xena's head.

The fight had been a good one. While Xena had wanted the men jailed, death seemed to follow. But if she could save even the one man who had attacked her, she would. But she needed her bard's help.

In the middle of the best dream? Xena's mind wandered to what it could mean. She struggled not to think about it, but for a millisecond she couldn't help but think those thoughts that were dangerous.

Luckily for them both, Gabrielle was able to recover. Xena was grateful she had something to distract her from the thoughts of a most pleasant dream. There would be time for that. Later. Even if it was something that could never be.

It was something Xena was still coming to terms with. The fact she was a good person. Early on, it was only because Gabrielle saw her that way. Now? Slowly, even the warrior princess could grudgingly admit she was at least on the path to becoming a decent person.

The travel to the inn was interesting. It always was when having to tend a wounded person. Even more interesting when they were your sworn enemy. Even for someone who was attempting to fight for the greater good.

The inn was crowded. More crowded than Xena had anticipated. The fact there was another who was ailing didn't escape her senses. Of course, the innkeeper referring to his place as a hospital helped.

And just like that, both Xena's enemy and the innocent young kid were gone. It made no sense. Especially since the treatment Xena had used had saved countless lives. And to die from a simple cold?

It all made sense as soon as Xena heard the screams. Someone had Prometheus bound. It would explain the way the two patients had died when normally the human body could heal itself.

How did Xena know? It wasn't something she wished to speak of. It was of a painful time in her history. Hercules had not only given her a nudge onto the path of good, he had shown her what love could be like.

Was Xena ever in love with Hercules? No. There had only been one man who she had even come close to loving. He been a part of her past, but could never be a part of her future. Not only because he wasn't alive. Because her true love, soulmate was her traveling companion.

And it was Hercules who had informed Xena where to go if anything ever happened to Prometheus. It had meant so much to the warrior princess when the demigod had trusted her with such momentous information.

As far as quests were, Xena wasn't certain what to think of it. First, there was the dancing. Then there was the simple task of retrieving the tablet. There was the pesky possibility of losing a hand. But it still wasn't like anything she'd ever imagined.

The sword could break the chains. But there was a price to be paid. There was always a price to be paid. Xena knew it wouldn't be long before Hercules was in the picture. He had to in an attempt to save humanity. No matter the cost, she would find a way to strike the blow to free Prometheus.

So Xena had to make a difficult decision regarding Gabrielle. If she were to strike the blow, it would leave her bard all alone. So she had to ask what Gabrielle would do. And it made sense. Xena would do whatever it took to make certain Gabrielle not only survived but strived.

Depressing. The very thought of leaving the bard all alone. But Xena knew it was a very real possibility. For now, she needed to focus on retrieving the sword. She would need information.

And information was not easily given by the annoying salesman. It had taken threats, as usual, to gain the man's attention. Now for the trip alone. It was far too dangerous for the bard to be involved.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Xena nearly fell a time or two as she ventured to where she needed to be. The sword. Hopefully she would be able to free Prometheus. Already, Hera's minions had been in her way. The obstacles would only grow.

Including an old friend. Hercules wanted the sword. Not because he needed to be the hero. But because he would, like Xena, sacrifice himself for the greater good. But a demigod was needed. Unlike a former warlord weakly attempting to make up for her past sins.

It worked to Xena's advantage her friend wouldn't fight her. For both of them, a scratch at this point in time could be fatal. So as the warrior princess had told him, he needed to worry about himself.

Iolaus. Xena should have known if Hercules was around, his best friend wouldn't be far away. As much as she and Gabrielle were a team, so were the demigod and the man with a golden heart.

A history? Was that really anyway to describe what Xena and Iolaus shared? Like what she and Hercules shared? For now, it would have to pacify Gabrielle as they continued on their necessary quest.

Relating what had happened was…Xena sighed. Still in love? No. Iolaus' love hastily turned to hate. Which the warrior princess could easily understand. Had the hate turned to something else? Xena didn't necessarily want to know.

What about Hercules? Xena didn't want to think about his feelings for her. It was twofold. But mostly it was because of the love she knew she had for Gabrielle. But would never act upon. Never…?

And thankfully Xena sensed something. It was just as Gabrielle wanted to continue with their girl talk. Not having sisters growing up, a mother who worked herself nearly to death and mostly male friends, there had never been a need for girl talk.

And just when it seemed even Xena was overmatched, he just had to show up. And the blow that nearly was meant for her was deflected by the gauntlet. Luckily, it was made of the same material as the sword. Unluckily, it was now clear exactly what was instore for the one who struck the blow.

Poor Gabrielle. It wasn't the way Xena had wanted her to realize it was a suicide mission. The warrior princess knew her bard would be resistant for her to be the one to strike the blow. But it wasn't that simple. For if it came down to not wanting to leave Gabrielle behind…

One thing was certain, Gabrielle was right. At least until the time came to strike the final blow, Xena must work with both Hercules and Iolaus. When it came time, it would be a different story.

And it began. Before they could even begin the next leg of the quest, Gabrielle was attempting to get to know Hercules. Or was it gain new tales for her scrolls? Partly, Xena was jealous. But mostly, she was relieved not to be the subject of one of Gabrielle's tall tales.

No matter who it was, Xena was uncomfortable with the thought of being a hero or a good person. While she was glad Hercules had heard of some of her deeds, nothing could make up for what she had done over the years.

Xena would not stop in attempting to regain possession of the sword. As she argued, the world needed Hercules. The hope he instilled in people was as important as the deeds he did. For the battles he fought.

Lead with your heart? Even though Xena had asked what it meant, she knew. Hercules still cared a great deal for her. Was there the possibility that he was in love with her? The comment about doing anything to prevent her death reinforced that fact.

Once again, Xena was glad it was Hercules being grilled. It gave her time to contemplate exactly how she was to gain access to the sword, without harming the demigod too badly. And of course, there was her potential death…

There was also something between Gabrielle and Iolaus. The way Hercules kept deflecting so that it was his traveling companion speaking with Xena's bard. Would something romantic evolve?

It took nearly being killed for Gabrielle to finally share that Iolaus was hurt. Xena could understand. It was something her bard would attempt to do. Hades, it was something the warrior princess would do. Fight through whatever injury, all for the greater good.

Iolaus was so much like Gabrielle. Xena had to keep from shaking her head as he attempted to say he could continue to fight. Gabrielle's voice was echoing in her head. About teaching her to fight. Did she really want her bard to be like Iolaus?

Gabrielle volunteering to stay behind was anything but surprising. The bard would sacrifice herself just as readily as Xena and Hercules. But the plea. It was nearly too much. The warrior princess understood. If anything happened to her bard…

And saying goodbye. It hadn't happened yet where one or the other left. Yes, Gabrielle had remained in safety at times. This time was different as there was a real chance the warrior princess might never be seen again.

How Xena had wanted to say and do more than what she had. 'I love you' would have been unbearable. Did Gabrielle realize exactly how the warrior princess was beginning to feel? Would knowing cause even greater aching?

The exchange with Hercules…While Xena had been grateful she could say she was thankful for learning to live again, discovering it was she who had allowed Hercules to possibly love again was nearly too much. Leaving it at being lucky to have known one another was enough. Hopefully.

Of course Xena wouldn't stop trying. Especially now that it was direr than ever. The gift of healing was gone. Now the gift of fire had been extinguished. It wouldn't be long before there was no hope for mortals.

Before Xena embarked on the final leg of the quest, she needed to make certain Gabrielle was taken care of. She only hoped Hercules would remember once he awoke from her blow. And would one day forgive her for having done what she was about to do.

As usual with a fight, everything seemed to happen at once. First, the strange birdmen hatched. Then Hercules arrived. Next thing Xena knew, she was high in the air with momma. The blow of the stone wall nearly loosened Xena's grip. She had to end it and before she plummeted before she was ready.

In the arms of safety. Xena had forgotten exactly how it felt to be held by Hercules. To have to rely on someone else, if only for a moment. While it felt nice, she also felt…Like she was betraying Gabrielle somehow.

And Xena felt something as she watched Gabrielle and Iolaus interact. It was akin to the betrayal, only in reverse. It was jealousy. But she had her own goodbye to say. And she meant it when she said Hercules taught her what life was meant to be.

Now, would Xena seek that out with Gabrielle? Or would she continue to hide her feelings. Perhaps even attempt to find others that might fill the void that was growing within. Even though every day she saw her soulmate, it was an empty sensation.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Why didn't you tell me?" Gabrielle's question was a valid one. Xena only hoped Hercules and Iolaus were far enough away so that they weren't being overheard. "Was it because I would have tried everything in my power to stop you?"

"Gabrielle…" Xena sighed heavily. Already her bard had answered her own question. Still, Gabrielle was expecting the words to come from her mouth. "Why don't we find someplace to camp for the night."

Xena wasn't about to admit it wasn't only about avoiding the question. It was also because she was sore from the battle. Was it the hit to the wall? Or was it the maze she had survived as she had retrieved the sword?

There was a look in emerald eyes. Gabrielle wasn't certain, but she could have sworn there was more than merely wanting to avoid the question. Xena wasn't much of a talker, as had already been proven.

"I am a little tired. We did do more traveling and in a hurry. Plus, it was sorta exhausting attempting to get Iolaus and Hercules to tell me tales." Gabrielle wasn't lying. She was more tired than usual.

Though Xena was skeptical, she wasn't about to refuse the gift Gabrielle was offering. "I'll do a quick fishing trip. You make camp." The warrior princess pulled up on Argo's reigns. "And we will talk, I promise."

The bard nodded. While Xena remained mostly silent, they had been having their fair share of talks after a majority of their adventures. It was something Gabrielle hoped would continue.

But could Gabrielle bring herself to ask the real question? Iolaus hadn't remembered her story. Would Xena find it…interesting? There was only one way to find out. Not only why Xena had kept the power of the sword from her.

It wasn't long until both were sitting around a fire. For once, the sun was still fully shining. They had missed their midday meal so the nourishment was much needed, especially for the young bard who seemed to need more fuel.

"I didn't tell you for one simple reason. I knew you'd try to stop me." Xena took a swallow of water. "But there was more to it than that. If you had asked me not to, I'm not certain I could have refused you. And I still feel the world needs Hercules more than it needs me."

Gabrielle placed her plate on the bedroll. While she was only half finished with her meal, she wasn't able to eat. Instead, she had to digest what her best friend had said. And attempt to understand why it affected her so.

"The world needs all the heroes it can have." Gabrielle knew she was sidestepping some of what they needed to address. For some reason, she could not yet bring herself to do so. Would continuing to put off what needed discussing harm their developing relationship? Or make it stronger in the end.

"That's true." Xena also placed her plate on her bedroll. It wasn't even half finished. Her stomach was roiling as so many emotions were flowing through her mind. It was disconcerting for someone who attempted to repress any emotions.

"But there are different kinds of heroes." Xena once again took a swallow of her water. "Hercules is a demigod. But that's not the most important thing. The fact he's always had a heart of gold…"

"He made mistakes." Gabrielle was now sitting cross-legged in front of her warrior princess. "There was a time when he wanted nothing to do with being a hero. That he shunned his father."

"That's different." Xena retrieved her sword. If she was to continue with this conversation, she needed a distraction. Something to help ease her nerves. To help her deal with looking into emerald eyes and seeing the understanding and love.

"Why? Because he never had to follow a path of darkness?" Gabrielle was becoming angry. All thoughts of wondering who her true soulmate were had instantly vanished. Now she needed to make Xena see her version of the truth.

There was no acknowledgement. Instead, the sharpening of the sword became more intense. Already, Gabrielle knew that meant she was close to the truth and that Xena was attempting to distance herself from what the truth could mean.

"Let me tell you a story. One you should be familiar with." Gabrielle instantly was in bard mode. Xena knew there was no choice but to listen to whatever tale it was her bard was to relate. The sword was now being polished.

"Once, there was a ruthless warlord. Her name was Xena." Gabrielle's eyebrow rose when Xena attempted to speak. "She did things I can't even describe. And things I'm certain I don't even know about."

It was a pointed jab. Xena knew there were so many things from her past she should share with Gabrielle. Some because it might place the bard in danger. Some because if they were to ever be more than friends, her bard should know.

"What I know is what I've seen. When she was at her lowest point, she placed her own fears and anguish aside." For a moment, the pair stared into one another's eyes. It was almost like the first time when azure and emerald met.

So much was exchanged in that first glance. It had led to Xena being harmed. And it had led to the continued struggle Gabrielle always faced. Which was to fight for what she believed in and be allowed to do what was in her heart.

"Before I knew what was happening, I and my fellow villagers were being saved." Gabrielle's smile was one of satisfaction as Xena had halted in her polishing. "And what thanks did this former warlord require?"

"She only wanted to be on her way. Didn't even want to rest, even though she had been injured." Gabrielle knew it wasn't exactly like that. Xena hadn't wanted the attention. And she still, at that moment, hadn't been certain what path her life was to take.

There was a part of Gabrielle that wanted to believe it was once the bard had arrived in Amphipolis that Xena had found her direction. That it was being saved that allowed the warrior princess to see what good she could do with her life.

After all, Xena had vowed to her mother to continue making up for her past sins until she no longer had breath. It was a promise Gabrielle intended to help keep. If no other promise, she would make certain it was the one Xena kept.

"And every time this hero comes across an injustice, she only has to look to her past." This was the difficult part for Gabrielle. Not to tell, but for what it would do to Xena. "To know what the people suffering the injustice are feeling. And to know from her past misdeeds what to do about the situation."

There was silence for several moments. "I guess that wasn't much of a story, but the moral is simple. Someone with a dark past knows what it was like to inflict injustice and knows how to correct it. But also struggles with falling back into the darkness. Even with the strongest of support."

And there it was. Xena knew her bard was right. "And that is why I couldn't tell you what it would do to me if I were to have struck the blow. Because you would have told me a tale and made it impossible to do so."

Something, more than words, was exchanged between the two in that moment. Something that had been being exchanged since the first moment Gabrielle was allowed to remain in Xena's camp.

In that moment, Gabrielle once again heard the tale she had related to Iolaus. In that moment, she seemed to know. She was connected to Xena. Had been, perhaps longer than the two could ever understand.

The pair remained mostly silent as they finished their meal and went about their evening ritual. Both had quite a bit on their mind, as usual. Gabrielle continued to wonder what a true soulmate was like, while Xena wondered if she would ever have the courage to tell her bard what she felt.

And who would come and go? Would there be others that would interfere in what was already growing by leaps and bounds? Already, Gabrielle had been tempted by a couple of men who had been involved in their adventures.

Already, the past had haunted Xena when it came to Marcus and Hercules. But there were so many more in the warrior princess' past. And not just men. How would Gabrielle react to that?

Was it more terrifying to think Gabrielle wouldn't be able to accept a woman as a lover or that she would accept a woman as a lover? It was a fitful night's sleep for Xena. She was definitely ready for their next adventure. She only hoped it had little to do with death. Already, she'd had enough of that.


	9. Chapter 9

Even in our early years, death was an everyday part of our lives. Sadly, I'd nearly died at the hands of Draco's men. Or at least my life would have been forever altered. There were the numerous men who had attempted to end Xena's life. And there was how easily death had come to so many because Prometheus had been bound in chains.

And yet, it hadn't prepared me for the loss I had to deal with when we came upon death herself. If it wasn't for what she did and stood for, I would have liked to be friends with Celesta. She seemed to truly care about those she was taking to the other side.

Still, death was not, and is not, something I like to think about or discuss. Since it's only been a short time since I was reunited with my soulmate after her death, perhaps that is why. Or the numerous times we both faced death. Only to be reunited.

When we met Celesta, there was something I didn't know. Death was a gift. While it was senseless at times with war, there were those that suffered and needed the release death provided.

Why did it have to be someone I had grown so close to? I admit, it was another crush I developed. I don't know if it was because I was still feeling the effects of my association with Iolaus or if I was still fighting my feelings for Xena.

And what did Xena think as she watched as I once again potentially fell in love with someone else? Azure eyes roll at me as she reads the passage. I may never receive a straight answer from her.

And yet, I believe I know how she feels. After all, I'd watched her interact with Hercules. Later on, I saw what lengths she would go for Marcus. And there are the stories of M'Lilla and La Mao. And one I have trouble forgiving Xena for.

But that's another story. One I might not be able to place on parchment. While I find writing therapeutic, as well as entertaining, I fear I may never be ready to face what Xena's promise to another fully cost us both.

Now, I feel a hand upon my shoulder. It's late and I should be readying for bed. But there are times when the words come to me. Sometimes even in the middle of the night. And I have to give in and allow them their freedom.

And so it is for the moment, the meeting of death is on my mind. Perhaps because I remain haunted by Xena's latest brush with death. Perhaps because I know one day we will face death again. And for once, there won't be a return from it.

DEATH IN CHAINS

Watching the young couple as they frolicked caused Gabrielle to feel something. Not that she hadn't felt it before meeting Xena. But ever since her best friend had entered her life, she envied those that had found love. And hopefully had found their soulmates.

Gabrielle attempted to be so casual about it. Her feelings were…She still wasn't certain what to make of them. Iolaus had stirred something in her. More than any of those that had come before him.

But it wasn't Iolaus that was causing such confusion. It was her best friend. It wasn't because of gender. While her father wanted her to marry and have kids, she knew of others in the world just as happy, if not more so, for having found the other half of their soul and they were of the same gender.

So the apple was the easiest way to joke. To distract both of them from her growing feelings. The arrow had been unexpected. Just another bad guy wanting Xena. Or wanting to kill her. Either way, it was another senseless death.

What was it with these evil warlords? Wanting to prove they were the best. To be the one to say they killed Xena. Of course, if there weren't those like Toxeus, Xena wouldn't have to fight for the greater good.

And just like that, Gabrielle was once again tucking and covering. How she wished she could fight. It wasn't unlike in the barn watching as Hercules and Iolaus fought alongside Xena. It should be Gabrielle, at least in some small capacity.

At least it was exciting the reason for her hiding. Hades. God of the Underworld. Gabrielle attempted to pay close attention to the interaction between Xena and the god. But seeing a god in person…

It was almost as impressive and exciting as meeting Hercules. Hercules was a demigod. He was partly flesh and blood. But the being standing before them was an immortal. And he was asking for Xena's help?

Death? There would be no death? Celesta's candle would soon be extinguished. And then what? Gabrielle couldn't quite fathom what a world without death would truly be like. In a way, it would make all humans…Immortal. But was that necessarily a good thing?

And where had that come from? Watching what one said about loving them forever? It was the first thought that had entered her mind. But why? While she was known for being a romantic, most of her tales were full of action and a meaning. None were true romances.

And yet, Gabrielle knew there was a love like no other out there. Or right beside her. Once again, Xena was tending to the wounded. Even when told her medicine would do no good, she continued to give, at least a minor amount, of relief.

But Xena couldn't do it alone. Gabrielle attempted to help others. When one wasn't quite so cooperative, she was grateful for the stranger. And for the tale he told. She would have to remember it and use it in one of her scrolls.

When Xena asked for water, it gave Gabrielle an opportunity. Not only to help, but also to relate a tale of her own. Talus was an interesting young man. Unlike the others she had met so far on their travels.

There was something in the way Talus had said he'd welcome not having to worry about death. Had he had a loved one that was sick? And now after seeing the suffering he could see just what death could bring to those in need.

Too much credit. Gabrielle was a mere sidekick. One that couldn't even fight. And yet, she would do anything to help Xena continue to fight for the greater good. Even if it was a tale here or mending the sick.

And the fact Talus grew up in the palace was almost too good to be true. It meant they had a way in. They had a guide. It was…Quite convenient and yet could place him in danger. At least Gabrielle could help, even if it was through another.

And the flower. Talus was definitely a gentle soul and a romantic. He wasn't unlike Gabrielle in that way. Not that she was a true romantic. But she did like a happy ending. Was that what Talus could offer her? What about Xena?

And just like that, the bad guy was back. A bad guy that wouldn't be around had death not been held captive. And the problem? Toxeus couldn't be killed. At least not until death was released. Of course, Xena could at least trap him for a short while.

Not that easy? Gabrielle nearly…She knew it was meant in jest, but hearing her best friend say that…Something truly was happening to her. While Talus was intriguing, he was nothing like Xena.

And yet, Gabrielle couldn't help but ask Xena what she thought of him. Why? Was she really that taken with him? Or was it maybe wanting to push the envelope a little. See what her best friend's reaction would be.

Nice? Even as a friend, Talus was more than nice. Xena hadn't seen how he had related the story so easily. How he had comforted the sick. So nice? That didn't even begin to state how good Talus was.

At least Xena had agreed he was more than nice. But it was another excuse to get her out of the way. Part of Gabrielle wanted to argue. Not just because she was afraid of missing out on the action, but also because she was worried about Xena.

Facing death in a fight was one thing. Fighting to release death was another. Either way, it could mean Gabrielle was on her own. And as nice as Talus was, she couldn't lose her best friend. Not yet. Perhaps maybe never.

The trip to the hospital was uneventful. Talus barely said a word. Gabrielle hadn't felt much like speaking, either. She was too worried about Xena. It was always the way. No matter how many times her best friend proved she was more than capable of taking care of herself.

The first patient was…Informative. And scary. She died but now lived? Of course Gabrielle believed her. But what terrified the bard and had her leaving with Talus was the warning. If one touches death, one shall die.

And once again, having Talus there made things easier. At least for the reason of knowing the king and the castle. But was there more to it? With everything happening, Gabrielle was too confused to truly examine her feelings.

And there wouldn't much time to examine them as already Talus was showing her a hidden entrance to the castle. And once they were inside, the state of the castle wasn't too pleasant. Of course, this was the hidden part.

In a way, telling Talus to not come with her was akin to Xena telling the bard to hide or remain at a tavern or whatever. But in this case, it was true. Talus had nothing to do with this. Gabrielle was the warrior princess' best friend. Her place was at her side.

What Talus said was…It was true. There had never been a man like him. He was well versed. He was charming. He was gentle. He was unlike anyone back in her home village. And while she did want the company, she truly wanted to be with Xena. She was beginning to ache to be with her and only her.

And they were in danger. Once again, Gabrielle found herself being chased by a warlord. A dead warlord that had nothing to lose and everything to gain. The worst part…She found herself separated from Talus.

Gabrielle had to hide. And she nearly made a new friend that terrified her. Almost, she allowed the scream to escape her. And then, she would have been discovered. She had to hide out and hopefully find a way to make it to Xena.

And that's when Gabrielle nearly ran into Xena and Talus. At least she found both. The bad news? There was thugs behind her. And there were more on the way. Unfortunately, one found her.

Once again, Gabrielle found herself in trouble. Once again, someone was attempting to rescue her. Talus had attempted to step up. He was no match for Toxeus. For some reason, it was fitting it was Xena. It was how it should be. Except maybe one day they would be fighting side by side.

Scrawny little girl? Once again, Gabrielle knew her warrior princess was attempting to distract the warlord. To place herself in danger. But it hurt a little. And it worried the bard. Did Xena truly feel that way? No. Right?

What was worse was the fact Xena was offering to allow herself to be run through. Gabrielle was certain it was a trick to free her. And yet, the bard wasn't certain enough. But when she told her to free Celesta she at least knew Xena had a plan.

There was the fight. There was Xena doing her thing with her trusty chakram. Celesta was free. Sisyphus offered himself, only to be rebuffed. And by who? It couldn't be. Talus was too young. Too good of a man to be taken so soon.

And yet, as Xena held her tight, Gabrielle watched her friend walk, side by side, into the bright light. The bard was conflicted. After all, she wanted Xena to hold and comfort her. In more ways than one. And yet, she had to say her first real goodbye.

The fact Talus had been sick and it was a relief for him to die was no comfort. The only thing comforting Gabrielle was the fact her best friend was holding her. And that they would continue to travel. Side by side. But for how long?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena had noticed the couple as they made their way through the orchard. While there would always be a part of the warrior princess that wanted that happy ever after, she knew it would never happen.

There were too many out there that wanted her dead. And there was the fact the only one Xena would want that with…No…She couldn't even begin to think about it. Especially for her bard's safety.

The warrior princess loved it when her bard took charge. Yes, Gabrielle could pick her own apple. And as much as it might hurt, she could also pick the person she chose to live her life with. Even if one day that meant going separate ways.

And an interruption. Of the not so good kind. Another one of those wannabes. He wanted to prove he was better than Xena. Wanted to have her join him. There was no way, even if she wasn't fighting for the greater good, that she would join a man as…Cocky as he was.

Including having it be join or death. And so it was another senseless death. Xena hated it. How everyone was so in a hurry to prove themselves. Why? Shouldn't it just be live and let live?

It was a valid question. And to the innocent young bard, it was confusing. Why would someone willingly want to come after another, knowing they were one of the most feared fighters?

For Xena, she had done the same thing on a few occasions. Only she had known it wouldn't be that easy. After all, she had been stupid enough to go after Hercules. Although, that had favorable results.

Explaining it to someone who hadn't experienced war, betrayal or the need for revenge was difficult at best. Hopefully Gabrielle would never have the need to understand. Know what it was like to want someone dead or to be better than someone else.

And yet, Gabrielle had summarized it well. Being known as the man who had killed Xena would place a target on his back. And whoever killed Toxeus. And so forth. It was a never-ending cycle. One only love could finally break. Hopefully.

And just like that, something was happening. Xena didn't know what it was or could explain it. But she needed Gabrielle to find safety. She was glad when her bard gave her little argument.

The thundering was unreal. And yet, Xena soon realized exactly who it was. Hades. God of the Underworld. He needed her help? Why couldn't he do it himself? After all, he was a god, wasn't he?

Yes, Xena knew King Sisyphus. But why a mere mortal to go against another mortal? The warrior princess would never understand how the gods worked. And hoped she wouldn't have to continue to personally deal with them.

The fact the candle would be extinguished caused Xena to realize why it had to be a mortal. Why it had to be her. The warrior princess had seen and inflicted enough suffering on people she knew what a relief death could be.

Gabrielle had the warrior princess distracted. Saying one loved one for eternity could very well mean that. But Xena had a feeling that once her bard said it, and knew what it meant, it would be for eternity.

The thought of having the bard's heart for eternity was enough to distract Xena. But she had to focus. The world, though some hated it, needed death. It was the cycle of life. It was the way it was supposed to be.

Just like that, they had stumbled on a reminder of exactly why death was so necessary. Xena knew most who were suffering and she was attempting to treat should have died. It would have been best for them if they were allowed the release of death.

Xena hated having Gabrielle too far out of sight, but there were so many who needed treatment. And while the man had been right, only death would ease their suffering, they still needed to attempt to give them some relief.

Especially when Xena had overheard what was said between the young man and her bard. There would be time to deal with that later. Toxeus was back. And since he couldn't be killed, she'd have to deal with him in another way. Luckily, her chakram had many uses.

The only problem, now Toxeus knew there was no death. That made getting to Sisyphus and Celesta that much graver. In every sense of the meaning of the word. It was time she and her bard parted ways.

Especially after Gabrielle began asking about the latest young man. Talus seemed nice. But would Xena ever be able to judge someone who her bard was interested in without bias? Most likely, she wouldn't be able to.

It was definitely best after Gabrielle's response to Talus being referred to as merely nice. It was all Xena could come up with. But managed more when her bard made it known she thought he was more than nice.

It was easy to lure the two following her. It afforded Xena entrance into the castle. And easily past the guard. But it wouldn't be that easy. Sisyphus was a trickster. And even the warrior princess could fall prey to one of them.

It was clear Sisyphus was beyond reason at this point. He wanted to live. Even though it meant suffering for others, he wanted to continue in the mortal realm. It would not be easy to convince him.

Before she could, Xena found herself in a dungeon. Thankfully one of the previous victims gave her a hand in surviving the fall. She wouldn't end up like the occupants she found just hanging around.

Xena nearly put Talus' lights out before she realized who it was. Of course Gabrielle would come looking for her. Her bard would make certain the warrior princess was safe. Even though Xena had proven she was quite knowledgeable and could take care of herself.

So, Toxeus had made it into the castle. Not good, but it wasn't surprising. A man like him would not give up. The one moment of amusement was Talus beating himself up. It's one thing Xena had learned early on. When Gabrielle set her mind to something, there was no stopping her. Not even the warrior princess could do that.

Now it was about finding a way out. It would have been nice had Talus known his way around this part of the castle, but things were never that easy. It was only a matter of examining your surroundings. And using what you sensed.

In this case, it was water. A drainpipe. One that was filled with rats. It wasn't Xena's favorite way to escape. But at least they gained their freedom. Now, finding Gabrielle was their top priority.

And it all made sense, in a not so good way. Xena now knew why Talus wanted to help free death. It wasn't just about those suffering from the rock slide. It was his own health that had him wanting death her freedom.

Did it make it any easier? Xena didn't have many friends. Gabrielle was her closest family. There was a part of her that wanted to visit her mother. To make certain they were all right. There were only a few others she would consider a friend. Talus was one of them. And his death would hit Gabrielle hard.

A new ally. Or was she? Xena wasn't certain whether or not to believe the words of the queen. She could be leading the warrior princess into one of her husband's traps. Or she could truly want all of this over with.

Trust was never easy, but it was the fastest way to draw out Sisyphus and convince him the only way possible. It was to hear from his own subject's lips how his suffering could be ended. It was all up to the king.

Xena understood exactly what it was like to be consumed by one's own thoughts. About what was best for one. She had done that when she had begun scavenging the land, claiming a defense for all the villages.

And just like that, Gabrielle was in trouble. Again. It must be a day of the week because it always seemed her bard attracted trouble. Or was it Xena? The warrior princess knew it was a combination.

The way Talus offered to help Gabrielle was noble. But it was stupid. There was no way a sweet, young kid like him could even begin to know how to handle Toxeus. It was a warrior's job. And Xena was the warrior princess.

Besides, this was her bard. It was up to Xena to rescue her. It was up to the warrior princess to do whatever it was that Gabrielle needed. Though that included so much more than either bard or warrior princess was ready for.

Gabrielle was anything but scrawny. The numerous times Xena had seen her bathing…No. The warrior princess had to concentrate. To make certain it was her and not Gabrielle in immediate danger.

And the thought of once again besting Xena was too great for Toxeus to deny. So it came down to a fight. And hopefully the others could free Celesta. Good thing the warrior princess had her handy chakram.

And just like that, death was free. As Gabrielle said it was close. Too close. And yet, it happened the way it was supposed to. And now for the most difficult part. Xena had to help her bard say goodbye.

The way Gabrielle begged for a favor…Xena was emotional on so many levels. Jealousy. Aching to comfort. And fear. Fear she wouldn't be able to help her friend through this. That she wouldn't be enough.

Holding Gabrielle meant everything. And yet, it felt awkward. Xena wanted this. She wanted to be the one her bard turned to. And yet, this was not how it could be. And Xena feared the talk they were certain to have.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Once again, there had been an offer of a soft bed and a roof over their head. One that didn't involve animals. Xena had taken one look at Gabrielle and had known she needed space. She needed to mourn the brief friendship.

It was something they both had to deal with. While Talus was more a friend to her bard, Xena had been touched by the young man. There weren't that many out there that would do what he had done in an attempt to help Gabrielle.

So the pair was making their way to their next destination. To the next adventure they would share in. Would it be home? Would it be abroad? Xena only wished it could somewhere safe. Where they didn't have to worry about fighting. About life and death.

Knowing their luck, they'd end up where fighting was considered a way of life. Xena knew they weren't far from Amazon land. They would have to be careful exactly how close they came to their territory.

"How are you holding up?" Xena was upon Argo. She had offered for them to ride double, but Gabrielle had refused. Was it because of the embrace? Or was it merely because the bard needed her space to process everything.

"I don't know." Gabrielle had been attempting to figure out exactly how she was feeling. She wasn't about to make the same mistake as she had when meeting Sphaerus. Not that he had been all bad. Just attempting to outlive his father's legacy.

It wasn't only her feelings towards Talus Gabrielle had to consider. He had been a good man. His life had been cut horribly short. And he would have made someone a very happy person.

But who had Gabrielle turned to? Who was it she had wanted to warn? The bard was slowly realizing just how much her life was dependent on Xena's. While the fear of being left in some village was long gone, the fear of being without Xena was now greater than ever.

Why? Because of what they had just done. Because death was once again free. And there was a fight out there with Xena's name on it. Would Gabrielle once again have to watch as someone she loved be taken by death?

The thought hit her. Gabrielle had known she'd loved Xena. Not necessarily from the beginning. She'd admired her and how she was now fighting for the greater good. And slowly she had grown to love her as a friend.

But it was more. Now how was the bard to handle those feelings? By hiding them. Not forever. It would be until she knew for certain Xena could return those feelings. Would it be easy? Only time would tell.

"I understand. Facing death is never easy. And when it's someone you truly care for, it makes it that much more difficult." Xena knew her words were empty. But what more could she say? It would be redundant.

So what would be better? The fact the warrior princess had enough for two rooms, instead of one or a night in the stables. "Instead of finding a campsite, why don't we find a small village. See if they have an inn. If we ride double, it would be faster."

After her recent acknowledgement of her own feelings for the warrior princess, was riding double such a good idea? Gabrielle hesitated a moment before taking the offered hand. It wasn't unlike the first time she'd coaxed her way onto the back of Argo.

It felt…It was amazing with Gabrielle's arms wrapped around her. Xena knew they were in a dangerous place in their relationship. Another had tempted her bard. And it had shown the warrior princess exactly what she had to lose.

And yet, Xena wouldn't allow for the relationship to grow. It was too much for her. The fact anyone could be that close was too much for her. But the warmth radiating from the bard was nearly too great to ignore.

Gabrielle was in heaven. Her arms were wrapped around the strongest person she had never known. Xena had to be strong, and it wasn't only physically. To have done such evil things and to continue to live…

It was why Xena would never accept comfort. It was why she would never be able to love Gabrielle. And it was why the warrior princess would never accept love. And it was why the bard was grieving.

Yes, Gabrielle had come to admire Talus. And had fleeting thoughts of a life with him. But they were fleeting. While neither she nor Xena were ready for a relationship with each other or anyone else, the bard could fantasize. Right?

The gentle gait of Argo lulled Gabrielle into a relaxed state. The bard wasn't quite asleep, but was glad Xena had a hold of her. Not that her warrior princess would ever let her fall. It was comforting feeling the arm across both of hers.

The lights were drawing her. Xena didn't know how much longer she could continue holding her bard. Not that her physical strength was weaning. It was her emotional strength. The one that wanted to pick Gabrielle up and show her how much she loved her.

Luckily, there was a small village. Luckily, there was a tavern, as well as an inn. "Gabrielle, wake up." Xena could feel the bard stir. She was disappointed and grateful at the same time for the loss of contact. "Watch Argo. I'll get us a room and arrange for boarding for Argo."

It took a moment for Gabrielle to fully awaken. She easily slid to the ground with Xena's help. Though she and Argo weren't exactly the best of friends, she held the horse's reins. While Xena was inside, her thoughts became somber.

While there was a part of Gabrielle that wanted to tell Xena everything. It was as she had decided. Once she crossed that line, there would be no going back. And she wasn't ready for it. And something told her Xena wasn't either.

It wasn't long before they were in their room. Luckily, there were two small beds. Gabrielle wasn't certain even sleeping by the campfire was such a good idea. After a good night's sleep and truly examining her feelings, she would be ready.

Across the room, Xena was having trouble sleeping. While they slept directly next to one another, she was not used to being this separated from her bard. It was better the distance. And yet, she was missing the heat that would radiate from the bard's body.

Xena couldn't sleep. It would be a long day. And it wasn't a good thing being so close to Amazon territory. Something had been uncorked. Something she wasn't certain she would be able to ignore.

The sound of soft snores was comforting. At least Xena knew her bard was gaining much needed sleep. It had been a long, emotional day once again. In fact, the soft snores were so comforting, it wasn't long before Xena had joined her bard in slumber.

There were images, dreams both wanted to come to the surface. But neither would admit to those images or the feelings those images brought forth. If only the two soulmates would open up and be honest with one another…

Perhaps one day, when both were ready. But there were so many more things the couple would have to face before they could be honest with themselves and one another. And each adventure could bring them closer together, or tear them apart.


	10. Chapter 10

I remember my first foray into weapons. Though it wasn't how I treated that walking stick. And the way Xena had swung the stick, she knew what I had planned. A snort is heard, even though my soulmate is busy building a cradle.

That's a story for another time. Perhaps I'll share why Xena is using one of her many skills for the next generation. But for now, it's back to the story of me growing up too fast and wanting to become a fighter.

Not just a fighter, but a warrior. Had I known before meeting Xena I would one day be referred to as the Battling Bard of Poteidaia, I might not have been in a hurry to pick up a weapon. And yet, it, as was Xena, was my destiny.

What I could never see as my destiny would be how connected I would become with the Amazons. While my first encounter was eye opening, I never thought I would one day become queen. Even with gaining the right of caste.

From a walking stick, to the staff and the sias, it was quite a journey I enjoyed. The learning curve was high, at times falling miserably. The first stay in the Amazon village and first battle, helping to mend, at least somewhat, the relationship between the Centaurs and Amazons…

And the dance…I can't help but laugh at that dance. I came a long way in both fighting and dancing. And loving. Seeing how, not only were they fighters but lovers, opened my eyes to the love I had already admitted feeling for Xena, if only to myself.

The intimacy between the women of Melosa's tribe…I can't even describe it. It wasn't only romantic. It was of family. Something I had with Xena. But knew I was yearning for oh so much more.

Once again, I find myself off topic. Or do I? I had wanted to know what it was like to fight. To hold a weapon of any kind. A staff, while deadly, was also made more so for defense.

Do I wish I'd kept to the staff after forsaking the way of love? Sometimes. But I wouldn't have done as much for the greater good. And for me, that's what this journey is about. Whether it's me learning about life in general or fighting, it's the path towards the greater good that means everything.

Or was it the journey of two soulmates? I can feel Xena's eyes rolling at me. They do whenever I become this sentimental. But this journey is too great to not place on parchment. And for the future generations to come…

Hooves & Harlots

It'd been two days of traveling. Gabrielle wasn't certain how she was to continue traveling with Xena. After admitting to herself she was in love with her warrior princess, the bard knew she couldn't not travel with her.

So how was Gabrielle to pass the time? There would have to be several distractions. There would have to be immersing herself in their travels. And there would be the continuing to grow and learn and one day be worthy of the love of someone such as Xena.

Obtaining a weapon was one way of doing just that. Gabrielle wasn't certain a walking stick was exactly a weapon. That was until she saw how easily Xena used the stick as a weapon. Emerald eyes were opened wide. And made her want to ask her friend to teach her.

Instead, Gabrielle had noticed some markings in the trees. Surely, Xena would know what they were. Amazons? And after her warrior princess made the sign, she wasn't surprised to see the Amazons drop from the trees.

Well, maybe drop from the trees was surprising. But to see them in person was not. While the one did the speaking intrigued Gabrielle, there was something about the other one. The one with the curly hair.

While she should be offended, Gabrielle knew she did standout from Xena. After all, she was wearing her old peasant outfit. And she only had the walking stick as a weapon. And was so unlike Xena in appearance.

Of course, Gabrielle had to act tough. Again, it was obvious to anyone she wasn't a warrior. And she was so intrigued by the stronger Ephiny than she was by Terreis. She hoped she could become friends with the curly blonde.

Speaking with Terreis was enlightening. While Gabrielle would never give up traveling with Xena, a place where girls were given every opportunity to learn whatever it was that they wished. Perhaps even required to do so was oh so appealing.

And the joke about having to ask her husband permission…Gabrielle now knew that if she were to ever wed a man, he would have to be special. Perhaps not think of her as his equal, but at least would give her feelings and opinions respect.

Gabrielle hadn't heard what Xena and Ephiny were discussing. She could feel the tension between them. And when her warrior princess called to her, she knew she had to listen. Even if she didn't like what was being said.

It was reaction, plain and simple. Gabrielle would do no less than protect someone. Even with the arrows flying and Xena calling out to her, the bard couldn't help but cover Terreis. But it was too late. The Amazon princess had been struck by an arrow.

Right of caste? What was Terreis speaking of? Some kind of Amazon custom for saving one's life? Or at least attempting to? For it didn't look good for the Amazon princess, even with Xena there to attempt to save her.

There seemed to be a party going on. Gabrielle wasn't certain what was happening. Xena explained about sending Terreis to Artemis, the moon goddess. Another one of the immortals. Would she be gifted with a visit from the goddess?

In one breath, they were granted safe passage. In the next, they were being warned there could be war. More fighting? But who would be fighting who? Obviously, it would involve the Amazons…

And that's when Gabrielle was granted her first sighting of a Centaur. She'd heard of the noble creatures. Though the way Ephiny referred to him as an animal, it was clear who would most likely be at war.

And hints to Xena's past. While it intrigued Gabrielle beyond the telling of it, the bard was already accustomed to allowing her friend to tell her when she was ready. And yet, if Gabrielle didn't push a little, would Xena ever confide in her?

Was Xena's past anything akin to what seemed to be happening between the Centaurs and Amazons? Filthy, disgusting animals. Wanting the Amazons hunting lands. Had they really gone too far? Or was it perception?

Finally alone, Gabrielle had her chance to ask. It was when Xena was evil, of course. Her army had fought them. But never defeated them. So why would the Centaurs hate her so? There was more to the story. The bard was dying to know, but it was all her friend was willing to share at the moment.

Ephiny wanted to know if Gabrielle had shared the fact she had been given the right of caste. Why was it so important? They needed to have a conversation. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.

But Ephiny was as tightlipped as Xena. It was frustrating being around all of these warrior women. No one spoke of anything but war. And yet, Ephiny wouldn't tell her about something that could affect the war between the Amazons and Centaurs.

But Gabrielle heard enough from some of the other Amazons. It seemed the Centaurs were asking for the war. And so much more. Of course, Xena knew better. Only fools and profiteers asked for war.

And Gabrielle wasn't exactly surprised it could be a setup. While she was still new to the world of war, she knew some would do anything to profit. After all, the princess had been kidnapped to cause a war when peace would have put the weapons trade out of business.

It was not surprising Xena was determined to discover who was behind killing Terreis. Was it merely to stop a war? Gabrielle was certain it was also because her friend felt she owed something to the Centaurs. But what about the Amazons? Did Xena owe them something as well?

Finally, Gabrielle was free to ask Ephiny about the right of caste. The bard was not prepared for what she was told. By agreeing to the dying wish of someone, she was now officially an Amazon. And not just any Amazon. She was a princess. Who needed to learn the way of her sister Amazons.

First was being dressed in Terreis' clothing. And everything in her hut was now Gabrielle's. It felt more than odd wearing Terreis' clothing. It felt disturbing. Someone she'd attempted to save was now dead. And by one simple act made certain she was gifted with so much.

The fact Terreis was the kind of person, Amazon, that Gabrielle would have admired and looked up to made it easier for her to accept the personal items. However, it would be difficult even attempting to be anything like the Amazon princess.

There was definitely a kinship of sorts between the Amazons and Xena. The way Ephiny so rudely called to her. It wasn't unlike how Xena still treated the bard at times. It must be the way of the warrior.

The first lesson taught? Weaponry. Gabrielle had already attempted to use a sword. There was no way she could even think of using an arrow. Most of the other weapons the bard had never seen.

There was something about the staff. It wasn't unlike how Xena had used her walking stick. It was as if Gabrielle had been meant to learn how to defend herself with a weapon that could be lethal, but was more in defense of herself and others.

The training didn't exactly go as Gabrielle had hoped. Being called raw was actually being generous in the bard's mind. If she were honest with herself, it wasn't all that bad. After all, she'd barely even held a sword, let alone any other weapon.

It was fun, in a way. Until Ephiny showed her the true use of a staff. It could be more lethal than Gabrielle had envisioned. But then, the bard should have known that. Already, Xena had used many things, other than traditional weapons, to save the day.

It was a relief to dance, even though Gabrielle had never danced before in her life. Still, it was embarrassing as well. Especially when the music ended and she remained the only one dancing.

And the fun faded to a sickening feeling when Gabrielle learned she was the one to avenge Terreis' death. She would be the one to kill Phantes. How could she even contemplate killing someone? Even if they were guilty? But it was her or it was Phantes. What choice did she have?

Not that she could before, but after hearing Phantes say he was sorry for Terreis death, there was no way Gabrielle could take his life. She was glad Xena had her impeccable timing. She only hoped her friend would continue her amazing timing.

Although breaking the news she was now an Amazon princess wasn't all that great. The proof was interesting. Gabrielle listened as she studied the proof. And as soon as Xena explained what it was…Definitely could have told her what it was before handling it so.

It all happened so quickly. Melosa not believing Xena. Xena issuing the royal challenge. It took a moment for Gabrielle to catch on. And be momentarily terrified when she realized exactly what it entailed.

The fact Ephiny was now being threatened only heightened the weight that was on Xena's shoulders. Not that Gabrielle doubted her best friend could take an Amazon in a fair fight, but still…

And Ephiny had to say she was annoying? Gabrielle almost regretted having thought so much of the Amazon. And yet, she realized her exuberance and energy could be a bit much to take. At least Xena tolerated her most of the time.

Except when Xena was about to fight. It was sweet and expected of the warrior princess to ask Ephiny to make certain the bard made it to safety. It wouldn't come to that, but it was still a pleasant thought thinking someone, other than Xena, would be watching out for her.

And just like that, there would be no need for escape. Xena did as she always did. Somehow, the warrior princess defeated her opponent. Melosa couldn't be referred to as her enemy. Just someone who was grieving and couldn't see the facts before her.

But once Melosa realized the truth of the matter, the fight was on. Gabrielle only hoped she wouldn't cause anyone to worry about her. And she hoped Krykus would be captured for trial, instead of being killed in battle.

Luckily, Gabrielle managed to, not only survive, but prove her fledgling skills. It had felt…Not exactly natural, but it did feel like something she could easily learn. And hopefully continue to aid Xena in the fight for the greater good.

For now, it was time for peace. As Melosa said, it wouldn't be easy. Especially when one had been at war for so long. But it was worth it, just watching the children play. It gave Gabrielle hope.

What was that supposed to mean? Why would Xena being on a horse while they travel make sense? It was something Gabrielle would have to remember to ask her best friend about. Later. When they were alone. And there was no escape for the warrior princess.

For now, Gabrielle was being gifted with something so amazing. The staff had been Ephiny's mother's. Shouldn't she pass it down to her daughter? Or at least a worthier warrior? Still, she was honored and would attempt to make Ephiny proud.

At least Xena wasn't mad that she had withheld the tiny information about the right of caste. Though it was obvious her friend was upset. And Gabrielle knew there would be a tiny discussion about it later.

More than what was so obvious. Gabrielle had thought it would be amazing to belong somewhere. To be accepted. Perhaps not without question. But looking at Xena, she knew she already had that. Had already earned that.

It was a bit of a bitch slap. Or was it Xena revealing she had many more secrets she was keeping from her bard. Gabrielle decided now was not the time. But when would be? Now was the time to lighten the mood. By wondering about the pairing of an Amazon princess and the warrior princess.

New adventures. Interesting adventures. It's what lay ahead for them. Perhaps it would be meeting old friends. Perhaps it would be stopping wars. The only thing Gabrielle knew was she would experience them with the woman she loved.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Gabrielle was always picking up something or attempting to entertain them in one way or another. Her latest object? A walking stick. Of course for Xena, it was something to be used as a weapon.

One thing Xena noticed and knew wasn't a distraction on her friend's part were the signs. She'd known they were close after their battle to free death. But they, she had thought, had traveled far enough west not to trespass.

Normally, Xena was observant. It was her feelings for her bard that were causing her to be less than observant. She would need to be careful in the future. Or it could cost them both their lives.

And sooner rather than later as Amazons descended from the trees. Luckily, or unluckily, Xena knew the ways of the Amazons. And luckily Gabrielle did as she asked without question, for once.

Safe passage. It wasn't too much to ask for. But without discovering who Xena was and what she had done to the northern tribe would be key. Hopefully, they could pass and not have to cross that path.

But it was never easy. Ephiny was the one not to trifle with. Just the way the young Amazon was looking at her was enough to cause Xena concern. She would have to curb the obvious curiosity Ephiny had towards her.

There was a diversion, but it wasn't the kind Xena would have asked for. Gabrielle needed to make it to safety. The warrior princess could only deflect so many arrows. Especially after watching her bard do what came naturally. Which was to place others above herself.

It was difficult to leave Gabrielle behind, but Xena needed to make certain it was safe. There was something not right about everything. But there wasn't time to fully investigate. Hopefully, that would come later.

Another funeral pyre. There were far too many Xena had attended. But this was something different. This was the beginnings of something. But what? It was bad, especially with the way Melosa was handling the death of her sister.

And when Phantes was brought in, Xena now knew at least partially was about. War. Bad blood. Hard feelings. If anyone knew this, it would be the warrior princess. And she knew how devastating a war between the Amazons and Centaurs would be.

There was the little fact Xena had a secret. It was more than a little fact. It was…Azure eyes closed momentarily thinking of what she had nearly done and what she had given up. And what she owed equally to the Centaurs and Amazons.

It was too easy. It was too convenient. Phantes being captured on Amazon land. His arrows matching the one that killed Terreis. Xena truly did need to investigate. On her own. Without prying eyes.

Before Xena could escape from prying eyes, Gabrielle needed an answer. It couldn't be the full answer. But it was enough for her bard to know that there had been a battle. One that she never lost. Nor did she win.

Her first stop was speaking to the accused. Most Centaurs Xena knew were honorable. They weren't liars. Perhaps they weren't the brightest, but even those who wished for war would go about it in a more intelligent manner.

After speaking to Phantes, it made sense to speak with Melosa. Catching a glimpse of the warlord sent shivers up and down her spine. Krykus. She hadn't heard of him, but where there was a warlord, there was trouble.

And not being able to convince Melosa there was reason to doubt Phantes' guilt. That a war against the Centaurs was futile. Even after hearing Xena had fought them to a standstill, the Amazon queen would not listen. Sadly, time was escaping her as Melosa made it clear she only had until noon.

And now Gabrielle was singing the tune of the Amazons. No one asks for it. At least not a sane person or one that wasn't out for profit. Hopefully the bard would understand exactly what she was saying.

And sadly, Gabrielle was already convinced of Phantes' guilt. Hadn't her bard learned anything from the trial the warrior princess had faced? While there had been overwhelming evidence as to Xena's guilt, she was innocent. And she was certain it was the same as with Phantes.

Looking for answers and finding a fight. It wasn't surprising. And yet, it's not what Xena wanted. And luckily, Tyldus was a true Centaur. He would talk before war. Even to someone who had treated him so cruelly.

And luckily, Xena was able to show just how much she had changed by helping one of his men. And the dagger. It was a nice one. She wondered if it was unique or if he had received it somewhere along the lines.

At least Tyldus was somewhat willing to listen. Trust was not something she could offer. But for him to realize there would either be war and vengeance or peace, he was a Centaur who would always choose peace.

And Ephiny would track her down as Xena was attempting to discover the truth. What had happened. They would have to work together, not fight. Hopefully the Amazon would realize just that.

And by saving both an Amazon and Centaur, Xena could prove she was only after the truth. Why she had come back to the place where the ambush had taken place. Exactly why Ephiny had as well.

Krykus was the logical one behind the start of war. He could gain both Centaur and Amazon land if they were to fight one another. It was perfect. He could play neutral to both parties and then be there to claim the spoils of war. Without actually having to pick up a sword.

There was proof that it wasn't a Centaur. Now Ephiny and Xena would have to work together to prove it was Krykus who was behind wanting the war. Krykus said it when he admitted not wanting the alliance because the war could possibly wipe out both sides.

And there was the so called contingency map. There was no mention of either Centaur or Amazon land. It could only mean one thing. And the final proof that was so telling was the dagger. The one like the man with the Centaurs had.

But what would hopefully convince Melosa was the arrows. Ephiny had found Centaur arrows. That along with the other evidence, how could anyone refute it? Someone who was grieving beyond words.

Xena arrived just in time to attempt to convince Melosa and save Gabrielle from having to kill Phantes. And to discover that her bard was now an Amazon princess. It was nearly too much for even the warrior princess.

It was slightly comical seeing Gabrielle handle the horse droppings. But there were more important things they had to deal with. Life altering things. Including making the challenge. If not directly, Gabrielle being an Amazon princess had at least one favorable outcome.

Luckily, though it took a moment, Gabrielle understood what Xena and Ephiny were attempting to tell her. How did the warrior princess tolerate the bard? If only Gabrielle and Ephiny knew exactly how she felt.

From Ephiny, the advice was meant as a fellow warrior. But from Gabrielle it was both annoying and endearing. It was her bard's way of saying how much she cared and worried about her in any situation.

Why choboes? Xena knew it was Melosa's preferred weapon. It was only fair that she chose what the Amazon queen's strength was. Even then, the warrior princess was surprised by the grace and power of her opponent.

And finally, Melosa listened, if begrudgingly, to reason. There would be no death. But there would still be convincing the rest of the Amazons and Centaurs of what Krykus was up to. And hopefully unite them against a common enemy.

Surrendering and freeing Phantes made it easy to convince Tyldus of her true intentions. Xena didn't want to settle old scores, more than admitting to past misdeeds and hopefully one day placing the past behind them.

Revealing a traitor. It too was an excellent way to show how it was Krykus and not Phantes who was behind Terreis' death. Now they would unite. Even allowing an Amazon to ride into battle upon their back.

Xena managed to kill the traitor and stop Melosa from slaughter. It would mean so much more to have Krykus stand trial. Not only for his crimes against the Amazons, but also Centaurs.

The only thing that had Xena somewhat distracted was Gabrielle. It was her bard's first battle using the staff. At least she knew Ephiny would be watching out for the newly anointed Amazon princess.

Prophetic words. Xena knew better than anyone gathered just how easy war was. But to forgive and forget and seek peace was the most difficult thing in the world. Or was that hiding her growing love for a certain bard.

It wasn't why Xena rode upon the horse. While Gabrielle was a true bard, it wasn't her stories she told continuously to keep them both entertained. It was to remain distanced from physical contact from her bard.

Was Xena mad at her bard? How could she be? There were so many things the warrior princess refused to share with Gabrielle. Partially out of fear of disgusting the woman she loved. And partially because some of those things were too difficult even for a warrior princess to face.

As they continued to travel together, a warrior princess and Amazon princess would make an interesting pairing. And Xena was both grateful and terrified Gabrielle now knew how to fight. But her bard knowing how to fight meant it was that more likely she could and would take a life.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"Again!" They'd traveled for a week since encountering the Amazons and Centaurs. And in that time, Gabrielle had convinced Xena she was the best at teaching her. While Ephiny, Eponin and the other Amazons had begun her lessons, the bard knew she needed her warrior princess.

It had taken two days to convince Xena to become her mentor. While the warrior princess had already become that in so many ways, she had never wanted to be the one to teach Gabrielle how to defend herself. She had hoped the rules would always apply.

As Xena complied with the wish to once again do the routine over again, the warrior princess knew she was only fooling herself. The only way to protect Gabrielle from violence and taking a life was to have left her somewhere.

As Xena blocked the surprising thrust, she could admit that leaving Gabrielle behind was never an option. The moment bard and warrior met, their lives were forever intertwined. And the way Gabrielle had saved her, even knowing of her dark past…

But what would Gabrielle do when she learned of some of the other dark things Xena had done? That she had…No. She couldn't even think of him or it would drive her insane. Not that a part of her wasn't already.

"I think that's enough." It wasn't the blow Xena had received to her head that had her seeing stars. It was the fact her mind was so clouded from thoughts of her biggest regret. And yet, she knew she had done the right thing.

"Did I hurt you?" Gabrielle didn't think she'd ever manage to hit Xena. And while she'd seen the warrior princess take many a blow, she still never wanted to hurt her. Mentally or physically.

"No. I just think you've had enough." Xena hesitated before leaning her staff on a tree. "And I admit, I'm a little distracted." It was telling saying that much. How much more was she to reveal?

"Is it because of facing the Centaurs again?" Gabrielle didn't want to open up old wounds. But she remained curious as to what was in her friend's past. And hoped Xena would trust her enough one day to reveal the truth.

Would she lie? It was so tempting and would be so easy. But Xena wanted to do better by Gabrielle. Still, she couldn't reveal the entire truth. "It does bring up painful memories. More times from my darkest days."

Gabrielle was still learning to read her best friend. But even she knew there was something Xena was hiding. Or at the very least was holding back. It was so painful, perhaps, that the warrior princess couldn't reveal.

"I'm sorry." Wanting to hold Xena, Gabrielle chose to place her hand on the warrior princess' shoulder. She then went about taking care of the staff. She hated the fact the ornate design had already been removed. Xena had been using the staff and had used her strength against a tree. The tree won, unfortunately.

There was silence as the pair made camp. By now, it was practiced. It didn't take long for the couple to make camp. Though it was more deliberate than usual. Both were lost in their own world.

For Xena, there was the escape of hunting. While the Centaurs and Amazons had seen they had basic rations, fresh meat would allow those rations to last that much longer. And to have time to think about everything that had happened once again.

Unfortunately, Xena's many skills included the fact she was an excellent hunter. She could always remain out of camp, but Gabrielle would know she was stalling. And that would make things more…

As Gabrielle prepared the wild turkey her best friend had caught, she wondered. Would she be able to fully realize what she had been gifted with? Or was it cursed with? The way Xena had reacted to her gaining the right of caste…

The sound of the sword being sharpened was a calming influence on Gabrielle. It meant Xena was nearby. But it also meant her best friend was contemplating everything just as much as the bard was.

When it stopped abruptly, Gabrielle hastily glanced up. Xena was staring into space. Though the turkey needed more time roasting, the bard took it away from the flames. It would remain hot, but wouldn't burn.

Deliberately, Gabrielle made her way to her best friend. Cautiously, she sat next to Xena. The warrior princess didn't flinch when the bard placed an arm around her. The pair remained in silence. Only the flickering of the flames and the sound of Argo in the distance could be heard.

"I worry." Xena knew that went without saying. "I've always worried about you. From the moment you stood in front of the my fellow townspeople, I've worried you'd be hurt. And the adventures we've shared…"

"I still remember your advice." Gabrielle would never forget anything Xena taught her. But the first advice when it came to fighting would forever be instilled in her. Even if she could defend herself with the staff, it would place her in greater danger.

"Good." Xena didn't need to be reminded of which advice. Oh how she wished it could be as simple as that. That her friend would remain the sweet, innocent young woman she had met in the clearing.

"But I do realize something." Xena felt the hand on her thigh. It was both tantalizing and distracting at the same time. What she was about to reveal could change their relationship forever. "You are growing up. You're not the little girl I met only a few months ago. And it wouldn't be right for me to keep you from, or encouraging you, being all you can be."

"I…" Gabrielle wasn't certain how to respond. It could only be regarding the way the bard was now able to defend herself. Defend others. But it could also mean Xena realized she wasn't a little girl.

Perhaps a woman who had wants and needs. But most importantly of all, was finally capable of love. And not just the words she placed on paper. But the kind of love expressed in a physical way.

If that were true, the fact Gabrielle had admitted she was in love with Xena could have interesting ramifications. As Xena leaned into her, the bard wondered. Was that what Xena meant? That she now could see her as more than her sidekick?


	11. Chapter 11

There weren't many times in our travels that we separated. Even for short periods of times. In the beginning, Xena would leave me in a village or clearing to protect me from whatever it was we faced.

I remember why it was we separated after my first introduction to the Amazons. Once again, Xena won't give me a straight answer so I can only assume it was for a similar, or the same, reason as me.

While we had discussed some more things of Xena's past and had dealt with me withholding the tiny detail of being an Amazon princess, I couldn't tell my warrior princess exactly how I felt. And the fact I thought I was going to be kissed…

I'd admitted to being in love with Xena, but hadn't knowledge of exactly what can happen between two women. While most in the Amazon tribe were warriors, there were those that I would class more so as lovers.

It was their feedback that enlightened me. I roll my eyes as I see the smirk on Xena's face. I don't know how she does it. She's putting the finishing touches on the cradle, yet she can almost read my parchment from there.

Or is it she can read me? I wonder if that's why we both chose to walk separate paths, at least for a little while. We were both headed in the same direction, as always. It was the way in which we journeyed that varied.

The same could be said when I had attempted my path of love. While I still believe in the lessons of Eli, I can't stand by and not fight for what I believe in. For the greater good. For those that cannot fight for themselves.

And one would be lovers. It wasn't the fight the latest adventure was about. But it was always my favorite reason to fight. To make certain love was safe. My favorite was when we helped Xenon.

Once again, I'm getting ahead of myself. It's a story for another time. As there are so many adventures we shared together. And so many more to come. For now, this is the story of how we affect those from our pasts. Sometimes without even knowing it.

THE BLACK WOLF

It wasn't normal for the warrior princess and her bard to travel separately. In the recent past, it was to leave Gabrielle somewhere safe. But now that she had picked up a staff, it wasn't exactly an excuse Xena could use anymore.

Still, it was as if Gabrielle had needed the time away from her. It had to do with the fact the warrior princess had leaned in. Had her bard thought they might kiss? Whatever the reason, they spent the evening apart and Xena had started their latest adventure alone. She and Argo were in need of new shoes. Not shocking with all the traveling they always did.

Instead of finding a pair of shoes, Xena discovered injustice once again. It didn't matter who was being assaulted or why. A defenseless woman was being shoved around. Of course the warrior princess had to intervene.

When Xena realized it was Hermia, she was even more satisfied she had stepped in. But what about little Flora? The warrior princess hadn't had many female friends while growing up. But Flora was different. She had been like the little sister Xena had never had.

It was difficult hearing two of her former friends were already on the other side. The fact it was because of yet another tyrant already had Xena forming a plan. When she heard Flora had been imprisoned, it caused the plan to grow instantly.

As always, Xena had perfect timing. The fact she had taken out the guards and not made a sound had an impact on Xerxes. Luckily, the man in charge of security was not the brightest.

Take out one and say they were the black wolf? Kill them all? While it was once Xena's mantra, she knew it would have a backlash. It was why some hated her still. The few she had left behind had become fighters. And those that died had become martyrs.

Problem solver? That was rich. Though it was true. The price was to make it known she was worth their time. The man was stupid. How had he become Xerxes right-hand man? His lack of intelligence would come in handy later.

Throwing around names from her past good deeds was almost comical. Xena knew the names would have a great impact on a man like Xerxes. But not this Koulos. The threat of death. Did it really need to be made? Apparently so.

The show was…Xena quite enjoyed showing up Koulos. She enjoyed telling him he'd make a comeback in the end. It wouldn't have taken much for her to easily defeat the man. But she wanted to humiliate him as much as possible.

One creepy man was the first one Xena made contact with. She wasn't certain what to make of the man with the rock. And from the get go, Xena made everyone know she was untouchable. Especially from the big oaf.

The young man, Diomedes, was someone to reckon with. Though there was something about him. He spoke big, but it seemed he wasn't the one in charge. It would be interesting to discover exactly who was.

And there was Flora. It was unbelievable she was the same young girl who Xena had grown up with. So confident and so in charge. The thought occurred to the warrior princess that Flora could be the black wolf. But the first task was to get her friend to safety.

Yes Xena did have many skills. It included things she would rather not have broadcast. And yet, they would come in handy if she were to have a child of her own. One she could actually raise herself.

Flora was stubborn. Or was it a leader? Xena was quickly realizing how caring her young friend was. The kind of leader Xena had wished she had been. And hoped she could be towards Gabrielle.

It wasn't her first thoughts of her traveling companion. Xena only hoped Gabrielle was somehow managing to stay out of trouble. Hopefully she was with Argo and not getting herself into something.

And just like that, Xena found herself in a bit of water. At least it was neither hot nor cold. It didn't take much for the warrior princess to free herself from her prison and hold a sword at Koulos's throat.

For now, Xena had her freedom to once again mingle amongst the prisoners. And who should literally fall at her feet? Salmoneus was the last person she thought she would encounter once again. And had her thinking of how they had met.

Salmoneus was someone that could be very useful. After all, it was as he said. He was a businessman. If there was anyone that could run a good scam, it was him. The only one who had a better reputation would be Autolycus, though Xena had never had the honor of meeting the King of Thieves.

While Salmoneus was doing as asked, it left Xena to attempt to convince Flora and the others their plan would never work. It was easy to point out the proof. Once again, the young man was attempting to show he was in charge. Making it known he wasn't as in charge as he would like.

It didn't take long for those with Flora to be ready for the escape attempt. Of course there was a disagreement on if Flora could tie the knots properly. Of course she could. Xena, like with Gabrielle, would have to realize she wasn't a child anymore.

The fact Flora remembered the quote informed Xena that her friend had truly clung to her words. Had attempted to learn from her hero. She was a lot like Gabrielle. And yet was so different. If only because Xena could never see Flora as anything but the sister she never had.

Yes, one of the gifts and the curses was how Xena could read people. Including the young woman before her. It was sad that Flora still hadn't figured out why Xena had pulled her hand away all those years ago. But it was even truer today that she considered young Flora her sister.

And Salmoneus came through once again. Not without having his say about a way to make money. It was what drove the man, yet deep down, he had a heart of gold. She'd have to find a way to thank him.

And it was time. Salmoneus's assessment was, unfortunately, fitting. While there were still quite a few things that could go wrong, there wasn't a better plan at the moment. And there was still resistance by Flora's people.

There was something not right. The fight was too easy. The escape was simple. And yet, they were free and made it to the gates of the palace. And that's when the guards were waiting for them.

And just like that, Koulus had undone everything Xena had been attempting to do. She had wanted only Flora, but needed to gain the trust of those she refused to leave without. She understood not wanting to leave anyone behind.

As Xena stood before Xerxes, it was easy to place his mind at ease and to place the blame where it belonged. Had she really been attempting to discover the black wolf's identity, it was true how incompetent Koulos had been.

Back to the dungeon it was for Xena. It wouldn't be easy to gain Flora and the others' trust. But the warrior princess was good. Soon, she hoped this entire business would be over with. She was worried about her bard.

And Xena returned at the right moment as Salmoneus was in danger, merely for knowing the warrior princess. Of course she wasn't welcomed back with open arms, even finding a fight. All to prove she wasn't the one who had betrayed them.

And to add to the mix was the arrival of the one person Xena should have known would arrive. If anyone could track her down in an attempt to help, it would be her bard. And leave it to Gabrielle to sneak in her chakram and her whip. Both would come in very handy.

Salmoneus' reaction was almost worth Gabriele joining her in prison. Yes, Xena had a friend. But her bard was so much more. In the time they were apart, it made Xena realize she very much was in love with Gabrielle. And couldn't live without her. But didn't know when she could ever reveal her true feelings.

Tomatoes? What exactly did that mean? Did Xena need to take the chakram from her bard and show Salmoneus exactly how it was used? If he so much as touched Gabrielle, she would cut off his hands.

How Xena wanted to tell Gabrielle exactly what was happening. She needed to speak with Flora once again. Hopefully her bard would understand and simply go with the flow.

Flora finally understood the lesson Xena had been attempting to teach her all those years ago. Faith. If when one had faith in oneself and knew you could count on oneself, one could do anything.

It didn't surprise Xena that Diomedes wouldn't understand. He was a good man, but he was young. And he hadn't been through all the things Xena and Flora had been through.

And the fact Diomedes was in love with Flora and vice versa added to the plan. Which hadn't changed. Xena was more determined than ever to have the plan succeed. The factor of love merely added to it.

The first part of the plan was to out the weasel. Xena had been certain there was something up with the so called crazy rock guy. As it turned out, he was Koulos' spy. Getting rid of him was a sure way to endure her to the others.

Of course outing rock man would mean there would have to be consequences. It meant Salmoneus was suffering from the same bath Xena had, not so long ago. There was only one way to end it. But it would mean Flora and all the others would have to have a little bit of faith.

It was time to play Xerxes like a fiddle. That meant getting the ball rolling on the execution of the black wolf. Once again, Xena wanted this over with. Being held in prison wasn't her fondest of memories.

And just like that, the fight was on. Gabrielle and the others were free. Flora and her followers were showing just how good at fighting they truly were. And in the end, Xerxes was dead and Koulos was imprisoned.

It was good that there were already people in place. While there was still a fight to be had, there wasn't the tyranny of Xerxes. The fact Diomedes actually agreed she was the reason they had come so far was a positive indeed.

There was the reuniting mother with daughter. There was hope for the village. Gabrielle was right. It was all very touching. With the exception of Salmoneus and attempting to gain a profit from the story.

As Xena watched the celebration, she realized once again. While she probably could have accomplished what she had without Gabrielle, it wouldn't have been as easy. If she'd been there from the beginning…

Just like if Xena had known her bard in her youth she would have been different. Things would have been different. And the thought of Gabrielle ever leaving her had Xena enjoying the celebration even less.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena had made certain Gabrielle was well taken care of. It was nice of the warrior princess to have allowed the bard to stay in Corinth an extra day. Any place was new and exciting for the young woman having never been anywhere until she had met Xena.

There was the fact Gabrielle had needed time to further process what had happened with the Amazons. It wasn't so much the learning to fight or becoming an Amazon princess. It was the way one could love another woman. And there was what could have been a move towards a first kiss. But Xena had hastily moved away.

Gabrielle wasn't certain she'd really made any progress in coming to terms with everything, with the exception she knew she was extremely alone without Xena traveling by her side. And that she needed to find her warrior princess.

Having found Argo was a step in the right direction. But it still didn't tell her where she could find Xena. After paying the bill, Gabrielle was only slightly shocked to discover her best friend was in prison.

Knowing where Xena was turned out to be the easy part. There were no visitors so the only way Gabrielle could join her best friend in the dungeon was to be thrown in jail. The warrior princess must be rubbing off on her as a plan instantly formed in her head.

Just as Gabrielle was putting her plan into action, a stranger wouldn't leave her alone. Including taking away her tomatoes. All she wanted was to be arrested so that she could join Xena in prison.

In fact, her aim was true. The only problem? Instead of Gabrielle being arrested it was the strange man. Time was ticking. The bard knew the longer it took, the more trouble she'd have at reuniting with Xena.

Luckily, it wasn't too long before another opportunity presented itself. The gruel actually wasn't that bad tasting. But it was better used to gain the soldier's attention. It was nice of him to escort her himself.

The man who asked about his rock was creepy. And the moment she asked about Xena informed Gabrielle that her best friend had already made her presence known. The black eye on the big guy also told her the warrior princess had been up to her old tricks. Now to find her.

Did Xena really have to ask why the bard was here? Wherever the warrior princess was to go, Gabrielle would hopefully not be far behind. She knew they wouldn't be able to spend every single moment together, but more than a day…

Hopefully Xena was as impressed as it seemed. Gabrielle had thought ahead. It had been too easy to smuggle in the chakram and whip. She wondered why anyone would say it was impossible to escape.

How was it Xena knew the strange man from the market? Or was it so surprising by now. It seemed the warrior princess knew everyone. Though this man was different than most. And his reaction to her being Xena's friend…

Until Gabrielle saw the expression on the man's face, she hadn't realized how it had sounded. There was fear in his eyes. Why had Xena reacted so? The bard was still hoping it was because there was a possibility there could one day be more between them. But couldn't ever voice that hope.

It didn't take long for Salmoneus to explain what was happening. Tyrant. Fighting back. Needing to make things right. Gabrielle was glad she'd secured the chakram and whip. Now, she had to wait to see what plan her best friend came up with.

The plan was simple. The first stage was to smoke out the rat. There had to be someone sending information to Xerxes. Gabrielle didn't know who it was. She simply went along with the warrior princess' plan.

The loudness of the disagreement was enough to bring rock man near them. It also aided in Xena exposing the man as the spy. It wasn't nice to listen to conversations, but it made it so they knew exactly who he was.

It wasn't long before more of Xena's plan was unfolding. It was difficult to watch as first Salmoneus was tortured and then Xena basically threw Flora under the runaway chariot.

Convincing everyone else Xena was being true and to trust her wasn't easy. Relating the story Xena had told her just before Flora had been arrested seemed to do the trick. Now timing would be everything.

Gabrielle wasn't a fighter, but the way Salmoneus was acting made her cringe. Avoid the pointy end. Try and survive. Allow Xena and the others to do the fighting. It was something the bard was extremely experienced with.

Her new knowledge of the staff would hopefully come in handy. Gabrielle wanted to help, beyond having provided Xena with her weapons of choice. And she would from now on. It was exciting and terrifying.

When the fighting was over, Gabrielle watched the interaction. It would make an interesting story. But what she was really observing was the relationship between Flora and Xena. While Xena had told her Flora was like her little sister, there was a jealousy hitting the young bard.

Still, it was touching watching Xena and Flora reconnect. But Gabrielle wanted so much to have a deep connection with her warrior princess. Beyond what they already had.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The village was unsettled that much was easy to sense. Salmoneus had attempted to cash in on the entire black wolf but none of the members were interested in the money. They simply wanted a government that treated them fairly.

Gabrielle was in the room Hermia had offered the warrior princess and herself. The bard was only mildly surprised when Xena had accepted the invitation. And she wasn't surprised at all when Xena and Flora had nearly been inseparable since things had calmed a little.

The bard was perched on the tiny bed. The lighting wasn't all that much, but it was enough for her to see the parchment so she could gather her thoughts. It wasn't the story of the black wolf Gabrielle was writing. It was her own diary.

The diary had begun so that Gabrielle could begin to make heads or tails out of her feelings. So many things had happened. She'd already faced death a handful of times. And there was everything she'd learned, now including how to defend herself and others.

What had Gabrielle reflecting so much wasn't exactly their latest adventure. While being thrown in the dungeon and counting on Xena to gain her freedom had been exciting, it was her feelings towards Flora that she was studying.

There had been times, now looking back, that Gabrielle had been jealous. There had been the man she had met briefly that had helped to heal Xena when she'd taken the arrow to her stomach. There had been Marcus.

But there was something more when Gabrielle had watched the interaction between Flora and her warrior princess. While her mind understood it was a sisterly relationship, her heart wondered if there couldn't be more between them.

The quill was being chewed on as Gabrielle debated on what to write. She knew her words were safe. Xena wasn't even interested in her stories. The warrior princess would respect her privacy and only read her diary if she were invited to.

The knock on the door was unexpected. "Come in." Gabrielle hastily rolled up her scroll and placed it in its carrying case. It wasn't surprising when Hermia carried a tray in and placed it on the table next to the bed.

"I wanted to thank you once again for what you and Xena did." Hermia stood beside the bed. "The stories I had heard of Xena…" She trailed off. It wasn't necessary to say she was surprised by the fact the warrior princess was now fighting for the greater good.

And yet, for Hermia, it wasn't. When Amphipolis was being attacked, it was Xena who had defended it without question. Losing her brother had done something to the warrior princess. It was understandable, in a way.

"Xena, as always, did the planning and most of the fighting." Gabrielle glanced at her staff leaning against the end of the bed. It was still a new addition to her life. "I only helped when I could."

"You underestimate yourself." Hermia sat on the edge of the bed, keeping her distance from the bard. "And I don't want to overstep, but I think you mean more to Xena than you realize." She hoped she wasn't to cause a barrier between the two.

"I'm not underestimating myself. I helped by bringing Xena her chakram and whip. I helped by convincing everyone she could be trusted. And I helped by fighting a little." Gabrielle was now looking her new friend in the eyes. "But Xena is my best friend. There's nothing more to it than that."

Hermia nodded her head. She wanted to say more, but knew better. If someone wasn't ready to acknowledge their feelings, either for someone or by someone, there wasn't anything that could convince them.

"Well, I stood on the sidelines. I could only pray to whatever gods would listen." Hermia wasn't feeling sorry for herself. It was merely the truth. She wasn't a fighter. She was a homemaker. "If I had been able to fight, I would have. Why I say you did so much more than you give yourself credit for."

"I agree." Both turned to see the warrior princess standing in the doorway. The sun had already descended. Normally, Xena would be sharpening her sword as they spent an hour or so relaxing by the fire.

Tonight, they had the privilege of sleeping under a roof instead of the stars. Hermia saw the look upon Gabrielle's face. The bard was embarrassed or was attempting to hide her feelings. Either way, it was time to leave the two alone. "If you need anything, just let me or Flora know. Goodnight you two."

Xena waited until Hermia had left before making her way to the opposite side of the room. The small bed would barely be enough to fit her tall frame. She placed her sword and chakram on the stand next to the bed.

There was silence as the warrior princess stripped off her leathers. For once, she would sleep in something other than her traditional undergarments. There was a bit of security in the village now which allowed Xena to relax, at least a little.

That meant not having to be ready to dress in the blink of an eye. Not that clothing, or lack thereof, would dissuade Xena from engaging in whatever battle she faced. In fact, showing a little flesh could be to her advantage.

"I meant what I said. You have come so far in such a short time. I thought you realized that." Xena was now sitting on the edge of her own cot. The food was enticing, but she wanted to make certain Gabrielle realized how important she was.

After spending time with Flora and reliving the past, she knew her lesson hadn't been easily absorbed. It was because it was obscure in a way. While she would attempt to teach some lessons to Gabrielle the same way, there were some she wanted to make certain were clearly understood.

The bard sighed. They had come to an understanding. But things had changed so much since Gabrielle had inherited the title of Amazon princess. And there was the fact she now realized she was in love with her best friend.

"I guess I'm still worried about my fighting." Gabrielle could have left it at that. It was true. No matter how much Xena was willing to spar with her or how many battles she participated in, she would worry she wasn't good enough.

"I saw how close you were with Flora." Gabrielle managed to maintain eye contact. How, she didn't know. After all, Xena's gaze was intense. "And a part of me was…Jealous." There. She'd said it. Now she had to wait for her best friend's reaction.

Without breaking eye contact, Xena made her way to her bard. She knelt before Gabrielle. For a moment, the warrior princess had to concentrate on her breathing. There was a tension between them.

It wasn't merely the jealousy. There was a sexual tension like Xena had never felt. If it had been anyone but Gabrielle, she might be tempted to push her bard to her back and make quick work of declothing her.

Whether or not there could ever be anything between them, Xena had vowed long ago to take things slowly. To see to it that Gabrielle made the first move. Whether it be a kiss or something more, it was up to her bard.

"Flora was the little sister I never had. I can assure you from the moment I laid eyes upon you in that clearing, I never thought of you as my sister." Xena swallowed. She wasn't certain how much more to say. Or if her true message was being heard.

The thought of never being a sister was…Tantalizing. That was the only word the bard could come up with. Especially with Xena so near. It would be so easy to reach out and touch an angular cheek. To lean in for her first true kiss…

"I get that feeling. I think Lila, at least a little, looked up to me. And I always tried my best to take care of her." Gabrielle couldn't believe they were maintaining eye contact. Normally, she would avoid the intensity.

"As for you, I don't know what I felt when I first saw you. Except that you were unlike anyone I've ever known." Gabrielle smiled weakly. "And of course I followed you to your home village so…"

Xena couldn't help but laugh. She wanted to say so much more. She wanted to do so much more. Instead, she slowly rose. The warrior princess retrieved the tray before settling next to her bard on the cot.

"I want to thank you again for being arrested." Gabrielle couldn't help laughing. "It's not just anyone who would get arrested just to spend time with me." As soon as Xena had said it, she knew she was nearing crossing a line.

"I told you, I'll always be there for you. Even if it means time behind bars." Gabrielle chanced a glance at her best friend. Things were changing between them. Partly, it was because of the bard's continued growth, both physically and emotionally.

Mostly, it was because they were both exploring their feelings for one another. It was Gabrielle learning what love truly was. It was Xena realizing she could love and allow herself to be loved.

Xena managed to laugh. It was to break up the continued intensity of the moment. She rarely laughed and hoped Gabrielle would take it as meant. "I appreciate that. I think we just need to not be separated so much."

"Perhaps. But just know, you'll never truly get rid of me." Gabrielle took a sip of the water they'd been provided. "I don't know what the future holds, but I want to travel with you as long as I can. And to continue to learn. Everything I can."

"Good. Now, why don't I take these to the kitchen. You can try and write some more or get some sleep. I won't be long." Gabrielle merely nodded. It felt odd not taking either her sword or chakram with her, but Xena truly did feel safe.

It wasn't something Xena felt very often. Even near Gabrielle, she didn't feel safe. But that was for a completely different reason. The warrior princess shook her head attempting to block those thoughts and feelings.

It was no surprise that Hermia was still in the kitchen. Her old friend reminded Xena of her mother, at least as a caregiver. "Did you tell her?" And another way Hermia reminded Xena of her mother.

Cyrene had never pulled any punches. Whether it was loving her, supporting her or turning her back on her, Xena always knew where she stood when it came to her mother. She really did need to visit her mother.

"No." Xena placed the tray near the washing tub. There was silence for a moment. She could have attempted to play coy, but Hermia had been too good a friend to her mother. "And I don't know when I will."

Hermia made her way to her friend. She placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's like I was telling Flora. When it's time, you'll know. Until then, just continue to love her, protect her and make certain she knows you'll always be there for her."

As Xena stared out into the night, she knew it wouldn't be as easy as Hermia made it sound. Loving Gabrielle would be, as would protecting her and being there for her. It was keeping her true feelings hidden that would be the most difficult thing the warrior princess had ever done.


	12. Chapter 12

Facing one's past wasn't easy. Even if it was facing the one regret one had. In my case, that was how I had treated Perdicus. While he wasn't what I had wanted for myself, I treated him unfairly.

And when we met again, my feelings for Xena already were confusing me. It was odd how I could admit I was in love with my warrior princess, but I couldn't even place them on parchment. And definitely couldn't tell anyone, especially Xena.

So when I was confronted with the man I grew up with and had been betrothed to, it brought back feelings I'd had for him. He was the one bright spot in my childhood, along with my sister.

Was that why I had been tempted to say I loved him? Was that why things nearly became out of control? And is that why I eventually married him? I hear a low growl as Xena has moved on to her next project and has lost track of the needle.

The growl wasn't because the needle found her thumb. It was because, once again, it's as if Xena can read my thoughts. As if she knows I'm writing of one of those defining moments for me.

Since it was so defining for me, it was painful for her. To have to watch as I struggled with my emotions, without being able to say what she was feeling, had to be the most difficult thing. At least up to that point in our travels together.

There were so many other painful moments for us both. I think for Xena, watching me marry Perdicus was one of those. But thinking I was dead…My stomach churns at the thought of either of us having to deal with the death of the other.

Instantly, Xena has her hands on my shoulders. She leans in and kisses the top of my head. These small displays of affection remind me of how we could barely look at one another at times, let alone touch.

And now, we can't stop touching. Even after all this time, Xena is the only one I ever want touching me. The only one I want to make love to. It was our journeys that led to this point in our lives. Including the loss of each other. Either to death or to someone else.

This truly was the first time I nearly left Xena. It was because of the confusion I felt. It was because I saw a side of Perdicus I never knew existed. And therefore I was tempted. I'm glad Perdicus was the one who placed an end to it.

Something I'll be grateful for. And yet, if Perdicus hadn't gone off fighting some more, would he have sought me out? Would he have asked me to marry him? So many what ifs that may never be answered.

And that was the story of our travels together. So many what ifs. I'm just grateful we traveled together, even if it was on different paths. And allowed for one another to learn and grow. Even if it was the most painful thing in the world…

BEWARE GREEKS BEARING GIFTS

Sadly, Gabrielle was still learning what exactly it took to fortify their travels. A half-eaten apple was not going to fortify either the warrior princess or the bard. It would barely be a tasty treat for Argo.

Or was it because Gabrielle remained so distracted by her feelings. Admitting she was in love with Xena was one thing. Traveling with her and hiding those feelings was another. Especially after they had nearly kissed.

It was something Gabrielle continued to wonder about. Had there been a kiss in the making? Or had the bard imagined the entire thing? The closest she had ever come to love was being engaged to Perdicus. And that was a childhood friendship at best.

Of course forgetting to pick up supplies had its advantage. Gabrielle had always wanted to see Troy. It was what legends were made of. A war that had endured for so long. And Helen. The face that had launched a thousand ships.

As Xena pointed out, it was war ships. Though it was Helen's beauty and appeal behind the war, Gabrielle could tell her best friend didn't agree with the actions. It made the bard wonder exactly how far her warrior princess would go for love. If ever she allowed herself that amazing sensation.

Just after fortifying herself with the meager half an apple, the usual sounds caught Gabrielle's attention. The bard remained with the man who had been injured while the warrior princess did her thing.

Why did it surprise Gabrielle that her best friend knew Helen of Troy? It didn't exactly sound as if they had parted as friends. Still, Helen had sent a trusted man in search of the warrior princess. It appeared the bard would be granted her wish after all. Which was to come face to face with the legendary Helen of Troy.

And there was Troy. Something Gabrielle never thought she would see for herself. Already the death surrounding the once great city was obvious. And the fact they would need to pass their own army wasn't lost on the bard.

Some plan. Gabrielle would have laughed if both their lives weren't in immediate danger. Running, pure and simple, was the plan. A little bit of luck and fighting were also involved. And for some unknown reason, the gates were opened and they were saved. For now.

And there Gabrielle was, face to face with her past. What had symbolized her growing up and accepting fate. A fate she never believed in. She had desired to see the world and to find true love.

While Gabrielle would always have some kinds of feelings for Perdicus, she never loved him. They had had some wonderful times as children. He even made it bearable to live in the village, at least at times.

Just a farmer? That's what Gabrielle had thought as well. He had been simple. Unlike the bard, he had not spoken out against the elders. In fact, Perdicus had gone along with whatever was expected of him.

Obviously, Perdicus wasn't the same, either. He was in command. Even though he was Greek like Xena and Gabrielle, he was listened to. And fought well. At least he had helped both gain entrance into the city.

And Xena was right when she said they had a great deal to discuss. But Gabrielle wasn't certain what to say. And in a way, was grateful when Perdicus was called away. While there were her old feelings of sorts for the man, her current feelings were all that mattered.

It wasn't long enough. Before Gabrielle knew it, she was face to face with her past. Yes, she had sprinted out of the village. And without saying goodbye. There was a part of her that would always regret at least not writing and telling Perdicus exactly why she could never have married him.

It was sweet, in a way. Perdicus had wanted to be somewhere love was worth fighting for. It was equally as sweet since Gabrielle was the one who had related those stories to him, so many years ago.

But the fact was, Perdicus wasn't a soldier. He didn't belong here. And while he might think he'd found his place, Gabrielle knew him well enough to know it wasn't true. But it was also unfortunate that the bard had no say in what her former fiancé did or didn't do anymore.

And yet, Gabrielle was hurt when Perdicus said he wasn't some lovesick kid anymore. Why? Because it was nice to know there was someone out there that loved you. And was willing to do anything for you.

While it seemed Xena was just that and had said she hadn't thought of her as a sister, Gabrielle continued to wonder. Was it as she dreamed of? Or was it nothing like what the bard was hoping for.

In a way, Gabrielle was responsible for Perdicus. If she hadn't left, he might not have left himself. And now he was out fighting. While it was a worthy cause, it could end up with her former fiancé dead.

And the callous way Perdicus attempted to sidestep the fact he could die. Write a story about it? While Gabrielle was a bard, could she ever write something so personal? Something that affected her so?

Already, Gabrielle had related many of their adventures. But had she revealed all there was to reveal? No. She had held back. And that was another reason why the bard had begun her own personal diaries.

Once again, Perdicus reacted. He took the bow and used the arrow that had taken one of the soldier's life. If it had been Xena doing such a thing, Gabrielle would have applauded and been impressed.

But because the bard couldn't reconcile the fact Perdicus was now a soldier and not a farmer, it had caught her off guard. And he continued with his leadership role. While not the highest ranked, it was clear his men respected him.

Even Xena reassuring her that Perdicus could take care of himself didn't help. So instead, Gabrielle turned the conversation to how to stop the war. Stopping the war would protect everyone, including Perdicus.

Xena wasn't certain what was happening, but was determined to discover the truth. Why couldn't that include Gabrielle? Hadn't she proven herself? And to be placed into the care of Perdicus?

Care? It was not even close to care. Instead of war, the Greek surrendered. Were even gifted with a horse. And the partying that continued, long into the night. No one was able to stand guard.

And where was Xena? True, she could take care of herself better than most. It wasn't like her to leave Gabrielle alone this long. Not when there was the potential for war to break out at any time.

And something happened. It was reminiscing. Gabrielle wasn't certain what it was. Perdicus was glad they'd found one another once again. But why? He almost seemed like the young boy who would do anything for her and follow her anywhere.

Before anything more could be said or done, chaos was breaking out. The horse was a trick. There were soldiers inside. After a night of partying, most of the army was incapable of even lifting a sword.

Everyone to the temple. It was the place that could be fortified. Plus there were supplies. While Gabrielle had wanted to help Xena search for Helen, she knew it was best she make certain as many made it to safety as possible.

The fact Paris was clueless was scary. A true leader should never let their guard down. It didn't matter if love was involved or not. To become this complacent was something unforgiveable to the men and women no longer living.

Was that why she had done it? Gabrielle had attempted to apologize. To tell Perdicus she was sorry. Why had she become so caught up in the moment? Why had her first kiss gone to her former fiancé? When she had hoped it would be Xena?

Luckily, there were the invading soldiers to worry about. Along with the safety of Paris and Helen. While Xena mixed her little trick, Gabrielle went to find them. Paris was now dead and Helen was missing.

Pairs' brother…It was nearly unthinkable. And yet, there were too many stories where one's best friend would turn on another. There are tales of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters or siblings all of who turned on one another. All for the sake of love.

It wasn't easy doing what Xena asked. It was the warrior princess the bard wanted to be with. Still, Gabrielle knew she was still too novice with the staff to truly help. At least here on the battlefield, she would have others helping her fight. Including Perdicus. Plus, she could guide the villagers to safety.

Finally, things had calmed. Helen was safe. Gabrielle shared her moment with Perdicus. Why had it surprised her so? That they could so easily go their separate ways? Because of the foolish kiss. One that was truly a moment in battle, nothing more.

And the way Xena nearly seemed relieved when she discovered for certain that Perdicus wouldn't be joining them. It fueled the fire that burned deep within. The one that continued to confuse Gabrielle. When? When would either finally admit their love? What would it take?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It was a good thing Xena's body was trained to use what little fuel she provided it. She remained so distracted. Never in the past would she have allowed their supplies to become so meager.

The near kiss. The nudging of Hermia. It was all leading to something Xena wasn't certain she was capable of. There hadn't truly been anyone she had loved or would allow herself to be loved by.

The only one Xena had truly allowed unconditional love from was her brother. Already Gabrielle loved her unconditionally, of that she had no doubt. But that love wasn't what Xena was looking for…

And leave it to Gabrielle to want to visit a war-torn area. While in one aspect Xena could understand why, there truly was nothing romantic about war. While the beauty of one woman might have been what sparked the war, it was beyond that. It was beyond one woman.

There was the fact Gabrielle's stomach wasn't quite as trained as Xena's. While it was near and was tempting, there was nothing left in Troy. There were how many left to support, and an entire army, with what little they could manage for themselves.

The familiar sound had Xena taking action. Someone was being assaulted. Hopefully she would be in time. The fight wasn't anything spectacular. But it was too late for the man who had been run through.

Gabrielle had attended the man. Xena was grateful her bard's first instincts still were to aid someone in need. It was only a matter of time when the staff in Gabrielle's hand would become an even greater temptation.

Maltiades? Xena couldn't quite place the name until he revealed who had sent him. Helen. There was a history there. It wasn't pleasant. But it wasn't the worst of her past. For most, it would be considered their worst.

And another funeral. Though Xena hadn't known Maltiades personally, he had proven the kind of man he was. And exactly how loyal he was. It was always the good ones, who sadly, didn't receive the reward of old age.

The remaining distance to Troy was made in mostly silence. Every so often, Gabrielle would wonder about the love. About the beauty that had started a war that was still being waged.

And when they arrived, it was how Xena had thought it would be. There was only one way inside. She only hoped Gabrielle could keep up. So far, her bard had proven herself. Of course, the warrior princess wouldn't allow anything to happen to either one of them.

Suddenly, there was someone who looked familiar. There was no time. They had to make certain Gabrielle was safely inside. And then they could all at least be behind the tall stone walls.

Xena wasn't so certain she wanted to thank him after discovering who he was. Perdicus? The one who was dull and boring? The one Gabrielle had been betrothed to? While she was grateful for his help, he wasn't someone she wanted to be friendly with.

For now, business would have to take priority. And Xena wouldn't stand in the way with anything that happened between Gabrielle and her ex. After all, the bard had left town suddenly. So there had to be some unfinished business.

Meeting who she was fighting for was as good as excuse as any. Xena made a mental note who was in charge, outside of Paris. A power play could always come into play. But first, she needed to speak to Helen and find out exactly why she had sent for Xena. After all these years.

Regulations? What exactly were those? Xena never had been one for true formality. Though she knew in certain circumstances it was necessary. If there weren't at least some regulations, there could be no leadership.

Leaving Gabrielle and Perdicus alone was not easy. But it would be simpler if Xena were to move about on her own. Helen would also most likely feel safer speaking to the warrior princess without witnesses.

It wasn't surprising Helen doubted she would come. While they'd had their differences, Xena wouldn't turn her back on someone she considered a friend, at least at one time. And having to relate the sad news about someone so loyal…

Did Helen truly think returning to the man who had instigated the war because she'd left would truly end the war? What about Paris? What about all the years spent fighting? It wasn't about her, sadly, anymore.

And that was exactly the point. Neither Paris nor Menelaus actually loved her. While they could use that for an excuse of continuing to wage a war, it was now about victory. It was about being the best and the victor.

Before anything more could be said, there was an interruption. Deiphobus was the one Perdicus had wanted Xena to meet with first. And first impressions were not flattering for the warrior. Hopefully Paris would be more understanding.

At first, Paris was. He understood fighting through her own countrymen to fight against them. That was until Xena had to pull her sword. The scar of the man she had fought attempting to defend Maltiades informed her of at least one traitor.

The fact Deiphobus killed the traitor spoke volumes. Any true leader and warrior knew it would be better to leave them alive and ask questions. But Deiphobus made certain the man was dead.

And Paris said it all. The man was in Deiphobus' personal guard. What did that say? If Deiphobus couldn't tell he was a traitor, he was inept. And if not inept, he was the true traitor. And that made him gravely dangerous…

At least Paris now somewhat trusted her. That was a start. But there was so much happening. Personally, there was the fact Perdicus and Gabrielle were growing closer. Just how close was that…

Having Perdicus thank her was…Xena was aching inside. She loved Gabrielle, was in love with her, and yet couldn't make her happy. Not the way someone like Perdicus could. He could give her a home, stability.

Why was it Perdicus knew little to nothing about the men he fought for. Was he only after glory? For not being classified as merely a farmer? Or was this because the love of his life had left him? No matter the reason, he was dangerous.

Not only because Xena feared he would want Gabrielle for himself, but because he refused to actually believe in what he was fighting for. To investigate those he was aligning himself with.

Was Gabrielle asking about Perdicus' safety? Of course she was. Her bard, no matter her feelings, would be worried about Perdicus. It was like Xena's feelings for a few of her past loves. While not as strong as what she felt for Gabrielle, she would always, always remember them and wish only for their safety and happiness.

Xena was honest on both accounts. No, taking Helen back to Menelaus wouldn't solve anything, therefore she refused to do so. And she was honest when she said she wasn't certain what was happening, but that her senses were definitely on high alert.

The one thing Xena wasn't certain of, was how safe her bard was with Perdicus. While the man would fight till the death for Gabrielle, was her heart safe? The warrior princess, unfortunately, had little choice for what she must do next.

Finding Helen attempting to do the heroic thing was not helping matters. Xena had thought she had convinced her friend it was pointless. That the war had become about more than the love of a good woman.

The question posed caused Xena to shudder. What she do? Where would she go? If Gabrielle was still in love with Perdicus and chose to marry him? It wasn't something she liked to think about. It was time for action.

Following Deiphobus was easy. His attempting to assure Paris there was peace within grasp and that meant victory was too convenient. As conceited as Paris was, he would believe his brother over a practical stranger.

Beware Greeks bearing gifts. It was true. Xena had done things similar in the past. Yet Paris was convinced his brother was telling the truth. Blood was thicker than water. And yet, a true leader wouldn't just accept things on face value.

Paris was making Xena angry. The only reason to continue sorting things out was for the soldiers, the people of Troy and for Helen. His actions were hurting so many people. Potentially Gabrielle, which was unacceptable.

And once again, Xena found herself in a jail cell. It was the one thing the warrior princess couldn't decipher. What was in it for the man? And placing her against her own countryman. It was a low thing to do. At least Xena was able to use one of her legendary tricks to escape.

Her first priority, as always, was to locate Gabrielle. Once that had happened, she could locate Helen. The temple of Aphrodite was as safe as anywhere. And it would hold a majority of the villagers.

Gabrielle would do her thing, which was to make certain the innocents found safety. Perdicus would protect her. It was Helen who needed protecting. Even if it was from those who had sworn their allegiance to her, not so long ago.

Paris admitting he'd misjudged her was a little too late. And it wouldn't be the last time someone would think the worst of her. It wasn't that long ago her own mother had turned her back on the warrior princess.

Still Helen was convinced her surrender would end everything. It was beyond that. Hopefully there was another way. So many tricks Xena had learned over the years. Hopefully this one would come in handy.

Allowing Helen to have her moment with Paris was dangerous. And yet, Xena knew how much it could mean. She hoped if Gabrielle ever left her, they could have their moment. And it wasn't too brief.

The last thing Xena needed was to have to deal with Paris' unfortunate death and Helen missing. Holding off an army, while protecting innocents, was enough. Continuing to attempt to deal with her feelings for her bard and seeing her interact with Perdicus…

Thankfully, there was a way out of the walled in village. It was the same way the Trojans had entered the village. It was nice of them to give Xena and the rest a lift. Now, to fight and locate Deiphobus.

Finding Deiphobus wasn't all that difficult. Nor was defeating him. Leaving him like that would mean something to all he had betrayed. They could punish him far better than anything Xena could come up with.

It was sweet Helen felt guilty. But it was as Xena had said. Whether kings or mere commoners, those Hades bent on destruction would find any excuse. It was just Helen was a pawn this time around.

Helen wasn't certain of her future. Perdicus had heard of a new city, new adventure. At least Helen would be escorted. Hopefully both of them would find happiness and peace. And at least Perdicus wasn't in Gabrielle's life. For now…

Xena wanted to ask what Gabrielle thought of being the one left behind this time. But her answer could reveal her true feelings. The warrior princess wasn't certain she could handle that. At least she could use the humor to delay what she knew would most likely be a long discussion.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

And the journey continued. Xena wasn't certain how to react. While she had attempted to deny it, there was something between Gabrielle and Perdicus. While it might merely be a reminder of home, the warrior princess was worried it was something more.

Even the call of home could be enough for Gabrielle to leave the warrior princess. While they had overcome the entire leaving behind in a village, it didn't mean the bard would outgrow Xena. Or at the very least, would become so homesick she would either temporarily, or worse, permanently leave Xena.

It had been two days since they had aided in ending another war. And yet, Xena had yet to bring up the subject of Perdicus. It seemed Gabrielle was more distracted than usual. She wasn't even writing in her scrolls.

Oh, Gabrielle still related her tales. In each village they came across, she would tell one of their many adventures together. It was a way the bard could help earn dinars to buy supplies.

Perhaps it was time to have the conversation. "What do you think Perdicus is doing?" Xena wasn't exactly prepared for the question, even if she had been contemplating asking it. She was upon Argo as they made their way to whatever adventure awaited them.

Xena pulled up hard. Argo skidded on the dry soil. There was a need for rain. It would aid in her suddenly dry throat. The warrior princess could barely speak. "Hopefully, he's safe. Though he was a decent fighter, I don't think he's a warrior."

Gabrielle sighed heavily. She wasn't certain why Xena had stopped so abruptly. Was it the randomness of the question? Or was it the same thoughts plaguing the young bard's mind. Exactly how did Xena feel about her? And vice versa.

"I know he's not. I'm worried what kind of toll it will take on him. If he keeps finding one war after another." Gabrielle glanced at the sun. It was probably another hour they could travel. But now seemed as good as any for them to make camp.

"Why don't we make camp." Xena could see and hear how worried her bard was. The only question? Could the warrior princess come up with the right words to satisfy her bard? To make certain Gabrielle would be all right?

"I am a little hungry." Xena couldn't help but laugh. Her bard was nearly always hungry. And it was how their latest adventure had begun. With a half-eaten apple and Gabrielle wanting to visit Troy.

It was the usual routine. Xena went hunting while Gabrielle prepared to cook it. While they had restocked some of their supplies, it was always better when they lived off the land. Perhaps the bard could find something for dessert.

The fish were frying in the pan, while Gabrielle made something she'd never made before. It was something that took a little bit of time, but was amazing. Hopefully, Xena would love the little dumplings.

Gabrielle turned the fish over and checked on her creation. "I used to think I knew him." The bard wasn't certain where this was coming from. And yet, she did. While she was in love with Xena, the thing she wanted always was for her warrior princess to be her best friend.

"When we first met and I told you about Perdicus, it's how I saw him." Xena was patient. She was sharpening her sword, waiting for her bard to say what she needed to. "He was boring. He was sweet. But wasn't interesting."

"And now that he's a fighter?" Xena wasn't certain she wanted to hear the answer. After all, if being a fighter was what intrigued Gabrielle…No. That's not what attracted the bard. Even Gabrielle's first crush, the warrior who was conflicted about following in his father's footsteps, had had a decent heart.

"It's not that he's a fighter. We didn't get much of a chance to talk." Gabrielle decided the fish was ready. Her little dumplings could wait for dessert. She cautiously dished up the meal.

Deliberately, Xena placed her sword in its place. Depending on how the conversation played out, she would return to polishing her sword. For now, she would attempt to enjoy the meal her best friend had prepared and try to be unbiased in assessing the situation.

"But what we did get to talk about reminded me of the good times as kids." Gabrielle took a cautious bite of her fish. It was good, but it was hot. "I still don't know if that would ever be enough to equate into a relationship."

"I don't have a lot of experience with relationships." Xena wasn't about to reveal she had been betrothed to one. And had been courted by another. One before she was a warlord, the other after. It had left her not wanting to entertain a committed relationship.

"I just know that having someone who truly understands you is actually a very good thing for a relationship." Xena wasn't certain she was making any sense. She was far from Cupid. Especially since she would prefer to have Gabrielle all to herself.

"True." Gabrielle was picking at her fish. "But did he ever really understand me?" The bard placed her half-eaten fish upon the bedroll. "I mean…" She sighed heavily. "No one in my village ever truly understood me. Not even my sister."

There was a beat before continuing. Once again, Xena was attempting to allow Gabrielle to work this out on her own. "I was always the one with the stories. I could make a story out of anything. And to most, village life was farming. Or being an innkeeper. Or whatever profession one was resigned to."

"When I left, Lilla joked she could beat me up." Glancing at the staff beside her bedroll, Gabrielle knew that wasn't true anymore. Not just because she knew how to use the weapon.

Inside and out, Gabrielle had grown. In ways Lilla probably never would. If only because she had remained in the village. The bard knew she should really write to her sister. At least let her family know she was doing all right.

There were rumors, most likely. But it wasn't coming directly from her. Just like she wanted to speak to Xena about writing to Cyrene. It would take forever for a messenger to make it to their villages, but it would give their families some peace of mind.

"If I think about it, that's how I should look at Perdicus and myself. Neither of us is the same as we were a handful of months ago." Gabrielle once again had her meal in hand. "And had we had time to truly get to know one another, things might have been different."

It caused Gabrielle's heart and soul to ache. Not because it wasn't true. She would always have a soft spot in her heart for Perdicus. And perhaps had they become reacquainted, things could have progressed.

But what she truly had wanted to say was that she was in love with Xena. No matter had Perdicus admitted he loved her would she have even considered settling down with him. But the bard didn't know for certain how Xena felt.

A coldness overcame Xena in that moment. She had opened her heart to the possibility that she could love Gabrielle. And she could have allowed herself to be loved. And she would allow the kind of love that went along with friendship.

But it was now clear that Gabrielle could never be in love with her. To look past her heinous deeds. And perhaps it wasn't even that. Perhaps it was as simple as the fact the bard couldn't look beyond the body and love the soul.

It was difficult to eat the remainder of the fish. And the dumplings were the greatest thing Xena had ever tasted. And her mother was the most amazing cook in the known world. If Cyrene knew she had thought that about anyone else's cooking…

As the fire was slowly dying down and the pair was finally settled in for the night, Xena was staring at the stars. There was a scent in the air. It wasn't the much needed rain. It was trouble. It was the fact that their relationship was about to face the ultimate test.

How could Xena know this? It was as with any of her many skills. The warrior princess didn't always know how she was able to do or sense the things she could. But just knew things.

As for Gabrielle, she was aching inside. While she had made it clear she had feelings for Perdicus, she had hoped Xena would speak up. That her warrior princess would be the one to finally say how she was feeling.

Perhaps what they needed was a little time apart. Gabrielle had hated the little time they had been apart before. But things had happened. And she was feeling lost. Like she needed to go home to find her true direction. She only hoped that direction still would include a path alongside Xena.


	13. Chapter 13

How many days was I was away? It was as long as my first return home. And yet, for some reason, it seemed much longer. I had to prove myself, once again. But the odds were not as high as when I had to prove myself to Xena.

What is it with my warrior princess? Xena is putting the finishing touches on the quilt she has made for a certain someone. Who doesn't matter at the moment. Oh, it will be revealed in time. But she takes a break to once again give me a kiss on the top of the head.

Right now, I'm focusing on an extended separation between myself and my warrior princess. It was an opportunity for a young bard. An opportunity that never would have presented itself had I not been traveling with Xena.

Not because I wasn't a talented bard. It was because I didn't have the experiences. A vivid imagination is one thing. But to actually experience the things I have make one an entirely different person and bard.

I often wonder what was going through Xena's mind as we separated. It wasn't for a short time. The look on her face when I told her it could be years…It still gets to me. And sadly, breaks my heart having hurt her that way.

For that, I receive a gentle kiss upon the lips. My wife is amazingly gentle and sweet. With me, she has always been. Yes, she was gruff at times. That was only her way of protecting her fragile heart. As well as protecting a naïve farm girl.

I can't help but think of the one time neither of us were gentle with one another. I still don't know how we survived that horrific time. Love of course, but there was also our son. Solon did the impossible, just like his mother.

Those are darker times than I want to think about. It's difficult enough to speak of the first time I willingly separated from Xena and for an untold amount of time. After all, had I won and remained, it would have been five years of separation.

As always, our adventures taught me something. In this case, I had to follow my heart. I had to learn from life, not pretend to be living. Some would say studying at the most prestigious school for bards should be the ultimate goal.

And to some, it is. But to me, I was still confused. I hadn't been off the farm for long. And Xena was just beginning to truly show me her feelings. We had a long road to travel. Both together and apart. I wouldn't have missed a moment.

Perhaps one day I can persuade Xena to write her own feelings about some of our adventures. And there she is, reading my mind once again. I chuckle as she laughs heartily. Then I give her my special look.

The laughing halts and Xena clears her throat. Like her, I have some skills. Perhaps not as many as my warrior princes, but still…And now onto the tale of my earliest, most prolific skill, which is telling tales.

ATHENS CITY OF PERFORMING BARDS

Gabrielle hated it, though she loved to relate a good tale. But sometimes, she would become too involved and would lose track of her stories. She would want to involve the audience so much, she would combine her own experiences.

The bard especially became lost when she was regaling her audience with a tale of Xena. There remained so many who were convinced the warrior princess was pure evil. Who could blame them? It had been over a decade of terror by the leather clad woman.

It wasn't all that long ago that Xena had begun her crusade to atone for her past sins. It was a long road. One Gabrielle hoped to be on for a very long time indeed. But life was unpredictable, as already the bard had learned.

And the fact a handsome young man was complementing her storytelling. It was definitely a way to the bard's heart. Not as that was already taken. At least a way to strike up a lasting friendship, perhaps.

It was something Gabrielle regretted, in some ways, the fact she had never had any 'real' training. A handful of bards had come to her home town and she had at each village or castle studied the local bards.

What really had Gabrielle's attention was the mentioning of a contest of sorts. The top four contestants would win a place in the highly sought after academy. It was what, at one time, the bard had dreamed of.

Cute? Gabrielle wasn't amused at how the young man's father had merely said her story was cute, not even having heard it once. Housework? That was even worse. It made the bard angry. And determined.

That was when Xena arrived. A new adventure. A cyclops. Was it the fact Gabrielle had outwitted a cyclops before? Granted it had been blind. Or was it the fact her stories had been accused of being cute and she needed to prove the young man's father wrong.

Xena could read her so well. When Gabrielle had turned down the new adventure and related her dream, her warrior princess had deciphered part of the true meaning. Which was showing up the older man.

Was it still her dream? Gabrielle could see into the eyes of her friend. After all this time, her warrior princess couldn't fully mask her true feelings. The pain of separation was obvious. But there was something more. The bard couldn't quite decipher it.

Could it have anything to do with the fact they'd nearly kissed? That their feelings were growing by leaps and bounds? Was it the way Gabrielle knew Xena would close herself off from everyone, including her best friend, to protect herself and those she cared about?

Four or five years? Gabrielle couldn't even imagine being away from Xena that long. To the casual observer, one would think the thought of being separated for so long wasn't affecting Xena. But even though Gabrielle had issues reading her best friend fully, even she could see how upset the thought was making the warrior princess.

It was like Xena had said she was in love with her. At least, that's what Gabrielle had heard when her best friend had said that about being surrounded by an army and would be missed. Or was she being silly?

But what Gabrielle cherished even more was the fact Xena had she was a good storyteller. That she was a cinch to make it. The confidence her best friend had in her could make all the difference in the world.

The only thing taking away from her attempting to achieve her dream was how Xena had said she was like her sister. While it was a bit comforting, it also was unsettling. And made the fact Gabrielle was in love with her warrior princess meaningless.

The solitary travels were difficult at best. Even when Gabrielle had been 'reunited' with her friend, her thoughts remained on her warrior princess. The final words were crushing. In so many ways. Ways the bard couldn't express.

The so-called competition was interesting. One had amazing stories, but his diction could bore one to death. Another had a stutter which might turn off some. A third was into the action, but where was the substance?

Her friend wasn't happy with his name. It was something Gabrielle could understand. But Draco? There was no way she could handle that. Her initial meeting with the warlord would live with her forever.

There were positives and negatives to the confrontation. It was a way for Xena to show her home village, and more importantly her mother, how she had changed. The negatives were being up close to a ruthless man.

Relating her experience in a story was twofold. In a way, Gabrielle was practicing for the competition, even if she wasn't aware of it. But the most important thing was the fact the bard felt closer to Xena and missed her a little less. There was the spreading of the word of just how much the warrior princess had changed as well.

The applause wasn't what she had been after. Gabrielle had merely related a story. More so, she had related a life experience. While she could make up any story, retelling her own experiences with Xena were beyond words and with an ease she had never felt before.

It was how Gabrielle was able to trick her way into the competition. If she were discovered, it would mean her dismissal. But she had nothing to lose, really. If she were to be kicked out or not win, she could always return to Xena.

Residing with the servants was nothing new for Gabrielle. In fact, being with the 'little' people, as Princess Dianna had referred to them, was how she was most comfortable. It was why she didn't mind camping out or not being able to afford staying in an inn. Or even taking advantage when one of their friends, kings and princesses, would offer to stay in the castle.

There was something about the man who had been rude and shoved her. Or was it Xena's influence? Living life with the warrior princess had taught her to be observant. Yes, it was because they faced life and death situations. In the long run, it would help her in telling the stories she had hidden deep within.

Before Gabrielle could truly react, the man who had been rude was attacking the teacher. But something felt off. Something seemed staged. And when the teacher revealed it had been nothing but a fabrication, the bard knew her first instincts had been correct.

To add to that, Gabrielle felt cheated. While stories come from the mind and experiences influence them, it seemed too convenient. There was no warmth. This was nothing more than a stunt.

Once again, Gabrielle found herself relating one of her own experiences. It was a little more difficult as it was personal. Yet, all of her stories were personal. It was just that some touched her more so than others.

There was something about Orion. It wasn't necessarily an attraction. Gabrielle was beginning to recognize someone who had been, not abused, but hadn't been properly given the support they needed.

Once again, Stollonus showed he was all about the action. While action was stimulating and necessary to a story, there was the heart. There was a moral. A reason for relating the story.

Like any story with Xena. While it was true her early years were beyond dark, even those had a moral to them. It may be as simple as learning not to be like the warrior princess. Or it might be how to stand up to pure evil.

All the talking of Xena, even the old evil warrior princess, had Gabrielle missing her best friend. She was still attempting to process the fact Xena merely thought of her as a sister, nothing more.

It was a restless night for the bard. Gabrielle was glad when morning came and she could focus on helping the others. Orion was a decent storyteller. He merely seemed distracted. As if he was focusing on the wrong things.

Discovering his father was the one who was telling him how to tell his stories wasn't shocking. While Gabrielle was certain Orion's father meant well, the pressure was too great. It was hampering Orion's ability to tell stories.

Why was it not surprising that Polonius, Orion's father, was the one who informed the academy that she wasn't actually supposed to be there. It was not how she would have wanted the competition to end, but at least she could return to Xena.

And yet, had Gabrielle had enough time to come to terms with the fact her best friend thought of her as merely a sister be for the best? Yes, she was repeating herself. Her heart was broken and there weren't words to heal it.

The fact her new friends were supportive helped, at least a little. And the way Orion was upset with his father was extra sweet. Saying goodbye was never easy. As her journeys with Xena had already taught her and into another story of an adventure she'd had because of the warrior princess.

The relating of the soulmates story nearly had Gabrielle choked up. She knew she was in love with Xena. But were they soulmates? To her, she felt incomplete being here at the academy without Xena. Wasn't that one of the ways one knew the other was their soulmate?

While Gabrielle wanted to return to Xena, perhaps one more night was for the best. It would help her continue to study her feelings. And to find a way to hide her love. Along with the confusion that continued to plague the bard.

Once again, Gabrielle found herself the center of attention. How? Her friend was refusing to relate his tale unless she was given a second chance. When all her friends refused, it nearly made the bard cry.

It placed the bard on the spot. But it wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last. If life with Xena had taught her anything, it was you had to be prepared. After all, she hadn't expected to run into Perdicus during her travels.

The euphoria of being allowed to compete wore off quickly when Orion's father began badgering him. In a way, Gabrielle couldn't blame her friend for running off. If she wasn't the person she was now, she might have run from the abuse Orion had just suffered.

Did Pollonus think it was truly Gabrielle's fault his son had run off? If only he had supported Orion no matter what. Sadly, not all parents were as loving as Cyrene. And even she had her limits.

It, thankfully, didn't take much for Gabrielle to convince her friend to return to the competition. He just had to relax and do it his way. If that meant closing his eyes so he could see the story as it unfolded, that was what he needed to do.

Relating the most important moment in her life was easy. Once again, Gabrielle was missing her best friend. As she allowed the story to unfold, she knew where her place was. And that was at Xena's side.

As great as it had felt relating her tale, Gabrielle enjoyed listening to the others as well, especially Orion. He truly was a storyteller. And one day, his name would be one remembered throughout time.

It was time. As much as Gabrielle could learn remaining at the academy and the treasured friends she'd made, her place was truly by Xena's side. After all, her best friend had probably had some kind of trouble and the bard wasn't there to help in her own special way.

Xena seemed genuinely surprised Gabrielle had given up her place at the academy. How could she be? Wasn't the love she was feeling shining through her emerald eyes? Instead of saying how she felt, she told another truth. That she could be living the adventures, not just learning how to relate them.

Before Gabrielle could even revel in the fact she was by Xena's side, they were being attacked. Another adventure, another story. While it would make a wonderful tale, the most important thing was she was by her best friend's side.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

While Xena enjoyed her alone time, Gabrielle being off somewhere always had her ill at ease. The bard's growing prowess with the staff put some of the uneasiness at rest. But it wasn't merely the fact Gabrielle was on her own.

It was the fact Xena had become accustomed to her bard. Allowing for Gabrielle to earn her own keep in her own way was part of the continuing growing process her best friend continued as they journeyed together.

What Gabrielle didn't know was how often Xena would stand just outside the door of whatever tavern or inn her bard was relating their latest adventure. This was no exception. She'd already discovered a new adventure. It was with anticipation Xena waited so she could share it with her friend.

Perhaps she had waited too long. Perhaps Xena's timing was off, for once. After all, Gabrielle was planning on leaving her. It wasn't for a night or two like the last time. No, this time it could be several years.

It wasn't something Xena was prepared for. Not anymore like she had been when they had first began traveling together. After all, she had attempted to leave her bard behind a few times.

The only way Xena might have been prepared was if Gabrielle had come to her and said she was homesick. After being reunited with Perdicus, the warrior princess could have understood how her bard had begun feeling that way.

Even then, it stung beyond words that Gabrielle could even think about leaving. Yet, it was for a dream the bard had had. Xena remembered the one wish Gabrielle had had should Xena be the one to strike the blow, even making certain Hercules would have seen to it that Gabrielle had an escort to the academy.

Here was an opportunity that would only present itself once in a lifetime. It wasn't like the academy held contest like this every year. After all, it was one of the most difficult places to be accepted to. And here her bard had this opportunity.

Was that why Xena said what she said once her bard informed her of the opportunity? Sister? That was the last thing the warrior princess thought of when she thought of Gabrielle. It was not how she could ever think of her.

Family was one thing. But as her sister? It wasn't sisterly thoughts that kept Xena up at night. It wasn't sisterly thoughts that Xena had been thinking when she had nearly kissed Gabrielle.

Why was it the first time Xena had truly informed her bard how much she thought of her stories? It was true. Gabrielle was one of the best bards she'd ever known. It wouldn't take much for Gabrielle to become a success.

Knowing there was a battle ahead helped ease the pain. While doing the greater good was still what drove Xena, the fact she now had someone she was so connected with and longed to be with all the time took precedent.

In fact, Xena merely went through the motions. She attempted to remember what was said and how she fought. If she could even relate the basics, then Gabrielle could possibly make a story of it.

After all, Gabrielle could make a story out of nearly any of their adventures and had. How many times had Xena been on Argo pretending to ignore her bard as she was regaled with one story or another.

The cyclops was as stupid as the last one Xena had blinded. It was easy taking care of him and reaping what little rewards there was to be gained. The warrior princess turned down all material favors. Except for one.

There were some rare parchments the farmers Xena had helped had obtained. She wasn't about to ask them how. They were stories the warrior princess hadn't heard of. Hopefully, they were new to Gabrielle as well.

It was part of the reason Xena found herself heading to Athens. It wasn't a place she relished visiting again. While the larger cities were wonderful for a warlord to wage war on, the warrior princess preferred the countryside.

Some of her fondest memories were of her grandparents' farm. She wondered what had become of the old farm. Perhaps one day, she would take Gabrielle there. Perhaps one day, it could be where she retired to. If that day ever came.

Did Xena have to ask who won? Yes, if only because Gabrielle was suddenly walking next to her. It felt natural, like a piece of her had returned. There was a story of soulmates. Not that the warrior princess actually believed in such things.

Living the adventure? As the men approached them, it was more than true. Xena only hoped that she could continue to protect her bard. That Gabrielle would never be harmed. She was more worried about harming her emotionally than physically.

And yet, the life Xena lived and her bard tagged along for was filled with pain and death. Positive thoughts. Like Gabrielle never leaving her again. That's what Xena had to continue to hold onto.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The fight hadn't been anything out of the ordinary. Still, Xena knew her bard would do what she always did. And what was that? Gabrielle would make the warrior princess appear even more heroic than she was.

Not that Xena wasn't a fighter, a true warrior. Now that she was fighting on the side of good, it did make her a hero of sorts. But she would never be like Hercules. When one has a past such as she did, there was so much more to it than merely doing for the greater good.

While Xena wanted her bard to write her story, she also wanted to talk about the separation. About how she had referred to Gabrielle as a sister. How could she have done that? As difficult as it would be, if Perdicus had asked Gabrielle to marry him, the warrior princess would not have gotten in the way.

It had been to comfort Gabrielle. To let her know Xena would always be there for her. And that she did think of her bard as family. It was a different kind of family than sister, but it was family nonetheless.

Perhaps it was even stronger. This connection they had to one another was unlike anything Xena had experienced. Perhaps if she'd allowed for herself to care for her son, it would have been different. That was a road she didn't want to travel. Not anytime soon, anyways.

There had to be something said between them. Xena couldn't leave it like she had. The fact her life would be so empty without Gabrielle in it had the warrior princess nearly mad with thinking of a separation. And if it were to ever become final…

While it was a possibility with each day that passed, Xena couldn't think like that. Not any more she couldn't. There was too much at stake. While she would gladly give up her life for an innocent, there were too many she could help. Too many wrongs she could right. Most of those wrongs her own.

There were three people Xena was doing this for. Cyrene had forgiven her, but the shame had to still sting. There was her young son who thought she was a monster, rightfully so. And there was her bard.

Gabrielle chanced a glance at that moment. The warrior princess couldn't help but wonder what her young friend was thinking. If only she was brave enough to ask. If only she was brave enough to tell her exactly how she felt…

"Would you mind if we stopped in the next village?" Gabrielle wasn't certain why she was asking the way she was. It wasn't fear of the gruff, sternness Xena used to grace her with when they were first traveling.

It was most likely the fear of discovering the truth. The entire time Gabrielle had been away, her only thoughts were of Xena. And the one word that was confusing her. More than confusing, it was crushing her as well.

While the bard wanted to know the answers to the questions plaguing her, she wasn't certain she could handle them. It was as if the two were walking in circles. It wasn't even one step forward, two steps back.

One moment it was clear they had made progress. The next, they were nearly back at square one. Gabrielle hated this dance. While she enjoyed adventure and the potential romance, she also hated the not knowing.

There was the fear if it was only friendship for the pair in the future, could she continue to travel with the warrior princess? Could the adventures and doing good make her forget the way her heart ached at the thought of only being merely friends?

"Are you going to use some of the money you earned to treat me to dinner and a real bed?" The moment the words escaped her, Xena regretted them. Things were so much easier before she had admitted how much in love with her young friend she truly was.

The teasing would have been taken as just that. There was now the extra added meaning. It was almost as if they said or did the wrong thing, it could push the relationship further than either was ready for.

At least, Xena hoped it was that. That neither was ready for something more. That one day down the road, she would be ready to accept the love of an amazing woman. To be able to return it fully and without question.

Gabrielle's cheeks felt hot to her, suddenly. Or could it be the sun? After all, she had walked nearly nonstop from Athens just to catch up to her friend. And they had been walking for the longest of times already. There was still more daylight left. That could be why her cheeks were now burning.

Yeah, right. Even Gabrielle couldn't lie to herself. At one time, there would have been nothing but teasing behind Xena's question. Now, there was the added tension. The thought of actually spending the night together. And not in separate beds or bedrolls.

The heat increased upon her cheeks. "Well, I do have extra dinars. And I think the sun is extra hot. Would be nice to have a soft bed and a meal I didn't cook." Gabrielle hoped her warrior princess wouldn't call her on it.

For a moment, Xena did want to say something about how the bard's cheeks went from a nice pale pink shade to nearly the color of a beautiful red rose. The thought caused the warrior princess' mouth to go dry, momentarily.

"You mean you're tired of my hunting." Xena hoped her bard would go with it. She wasn't, at least at the moment, ready to speak of why she had said she thought of Gabrielle as a sister. Would she ever? Hmm…

"You do love your fish." For some reason, the utterance had the bard nearly ready to pass out. It was the heat. It was the sun. Nothing to do with the fire she had burning inside of her at the mere thought of her warrior princess.

"Yes, but there is more to life than merely fish." Where was this conversation heading? Xena had to rein it in, somehow. "I'll tell you what. Why don't you pay for the dinner and drinks and I'll spring for the room? The villagers were grateful I was able to help them with their cyclops problem."

"You still have to tell me about that. In detail." Gabrielle made certain she was looking into azure eyes. Though Xena's skin was tan as always, there seemed to be a little coloring as well. Was it the heat? Or was there frustration at having to relate yet another tale and become the hero?

"I haven't forgotten." Xena couldn't maintain the gaze. She saw too much in those emerald eyes. With Gabrielle, she wanted it to be true. But knew it could also be a reflection of her own feelings. "I think the next village is about half a candelmark to the east."

"Then east and a new village it is." Gabrielle was looking forward to stopping. She wasn't exactly physically tired, though she was a little from walking the past few days, nearly nonstop. It was the emotions that were exhausting her.

They traveled in mostly silence as they made their way to a village Gabrielle had never even heard of. It was larger than she had expected. There were two taverns, one that also was an inn. There were even two stables. Larger than either of their home villages, but smaller than some of the places they had been.

They chose the combination as it was quieter. It seemed the more boisterous clientele preferred the tavern only. Gabrielle would have thought it the other way around. If they'd had too much to drink, there would be a place to sleep it off. And there was the other aspect where if one thing led to another…

"I'll get Argo settled for the night. If you have any trouble getting a table, wait for me." Xena winked at her bard before taking her leave. It wasn't long before the haggling process, which Gabrielle was far better at, was taken care of.

It wasn't surprising to find her bard doing what she did best. While Gabrielle continued to excel with her staff, being a bard was her true calling. Xena stationed herself just by the entrance. She could watch and not intimidate the crowd.

It was a simple tale. It was the story of their latest encounter with thugs. What Gabrielle made of it could entertain anyone. Old and young alike, they would find themselves riveted. If Xena wasn't so focused on the safety of her bard, she might be completely engrossed as well.

"What a waste of time and dinars." Xena's hand slowly went for her chakram. In the confined space of the tavern, she was reluctant to use it. And she wanted to see how her best friend reacted to the critic.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I know how much time means to us all. In fact, I can relate to how I never would have enough time to reunite with the hero who saved me." Gabrielle winked at her warrior princess. She took a breath, waiting for Xena's hand to move away from her weapon of choice.

It was easy relating their first meeting and everything Gabrielle had had to do to make her way to Amphipolis. How many times had she lost her way, only to discover she was on the right path all along.

In that moment, Gabrielle knew. No matter where else life would take her, she needed to walk the same path as Xena. Whether that be as her traveling companion or if it could be something more, Xena was her destiny.

Their meal was shared in mostly silence. There was so much both should say. Yet, it was as always, neither said what needed to be said. It could lead to the downfall of the relationship.

There were secrets Xena already was keeping from Gabrielle. The fact she had been betrothed being one of them. The bigger was the child she'd given up. How would her bard react when she discovered everything there was to know?

Gabrielle was scribbling in her personal diary. Xena was sharpening her sword. It was how they spent their evenings when they were too busy avoiding what they should be saying to one another.

Xena sighed. She remembered not that long ago how they had nearly kissed. It's what she wanted now. To kneel between Gabrielle's legs. To place a hand on both cheeks. To slowly lean in…

It wasn't to be. At least it wasn't to be in the near future. Xena began polishing her sword. She should do drills or hunt or something to burn off the excess energy she seemed to have at the moment.

Instead, Xena slowly undressed. She made her way under the covers. "Goodnight, Gabrielle. Don't stay up too late." When there was no response, the warrior princess rolled onto her side, facing the wall.

Under her breath, Gabrielle managed to wish her warrior princess a goodnight. There had been so many opportunities, yet the bard had remained silent. While the story had been to silence her critic, she also had hoped it would mean something to Xena.

Instead, it seemed the rift that was between them had grown. How Gabrielle wanted to make her way to her warrior princess. She wasn't experienced in the ways of making love, but a kiss. That was something she could do.

After all, Gabrielle had bestowed Perdicus with one. Instead of making her way to her warrior princess, the bard carefully placed her parchment in its carrying case. Soon, she would have to find someplace safe to leave them. Perhaps with Cyrene when they went for a visit.

Until then, the scrolls would go wherever Gabrielle was. Even the Amazons could be keepers of the scrolls. After all, the bard was an Amazon Princess. Something Xena wasn't too fond of.

It was Gabrielle's turn to sigh as she too rolled to her side. She was facing the wall, wishing more and more she was brave enough to tell Xena exactly how she felt. And wishing more and more that her first true kiss had been granted to her warrior princess, instead of Perdicus.


	14. Chapter 14

I remember hurting so badly after winning a spot at the academy. Obviously, I was proud that I had been the winning bard. But the time apart from Xena had been eye opening. And the way we had yet again not communicated…

As if she can sense me, as always, Xena has her sword in hand. She is polishing it like she did at the many campsites we shared. And even the few inns we were lucky enough to spend an evening or two in.

It was how it was, especially after we both had realized we were in love with one another. I would become lost in my scrolls or personal diaries. Xena would hunt, perform drills or would sharpen and polish her sword.

If only we had been able to communicate. For Xena, it was to protect herself and me. I didn't know it at the time, but the ones who Xena had given her heart to had betrayed her. Or she had betrayed them. Either way, she and her lover had been badly harmed emotionally, if not physically.

For me, I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. True, I'm a bard. Later known as The Battling Bard of Poteidaia. In those early days, it was easier for me to express the love others felt for one another than my own feelings.

Had I been able to truly express myself, Perdicus would have known my confusion. He would have known my true feelings. The kiss had been like an obligation of sorts. But it had led him to his premature death. Something I will never forgive myself for.

Now, Xena has her hand upon my shoulder. She truly can sense my emotions. I'm not quite as observant as her, but I can sense sometimes when she is needing just a simple touch. Or for me to be silent.

A smile is on my warrior's face. I love Xena for so many reasons. Number one is she is my eternal soulmate. But it's the little things that mean so much. Like how we can make one another smile. And would protect one another, even at the cost of our own lives.

I'm a bit off topic. It happens when relating a story. Especially with so many past experiences. I become lost in the moment. And dwell on things I don't always want to dwell on. Sadly, the lack of communication in the early years and throughout our travels led to some extremely painful moments.

Since I was reeling, as was Xena, from our decisions after my return, discovering my soulmate had been betrothed was more than surprising. It hurt beyond the telling of it. Was it because she had been betrothed or was it because she had withheld something so important from her past?

And how did I react? I intentionally attempted to forge a relationship with Xena's ex. Even after she repeatedly warned me that he was no good. That he would merely be using me I still attempted to prove to Xena I could handle it.

As I discovered, I was wrong. That I couldn't handle being seduced the way I had been. But I was young and I was hurting. The attention had felt wonderful. It was why I had nearly fallen for his cunningness.

Once again, I could say that I regret not speaking to Xena about my feelings. Or pushing more so that my warrior princess would reveal her past. But I didn't. And Xena wouldn't have revealed her past. Not until she was ready or forced to.

So here we go again. On an adventure that could have been so different had we both confided in one another. Emotions. The past. Me learning once again what it was like to be more than a simple farmgirl.

A FISTFUL OF DINARS

Talk about arriving in the middle. Already someone was at death's door. Gabrielle was more than happy to watch over the fallen man. After the past few days of traveling with the knowledge she and Xena could not be more than friends, it was a sad but welcomed distraction.

Another death. It was something Gabrielle hated facing during her travels with Xena. Not that death wasn't an everyday occurrence. It was the manner in which the deaths occurred that was trying upon one's soul.

Clue? For a moment, everything was pushed aside. Gabrielle could sense a new great adventure. It started, once again, with someone or something, from Xena's past. Didn't it always, in some way?

The stranger wasn't very friendly. Brat? Gabrielle would use her charm to prove there was more than meets the eye. While she was still learning her way, she was far from a brat. At least, she hoped she was.

Having been a coward when it came to speaking to Xena about her feelings. About how much it had hurt when the warrior princess had referred to her as sister. So maybe she was a brat, at least in part.

Not as big a brat as the man before her. Go away? Who was this man and why were they meeting him? An assassin? And the other man was a friend, of course. What Xena wouldn't do for a friend, one living or deceased.

Four clues leading to Sumerian treasure. Something legends were made of. Many had attempted to discover the location of the lost treasure. And now, they had four clues that would lead them directly to it.

This wasn't about treasure. This wasn't about helping an old friend. The Titan's key meant ambrosia. Ambrosia meant a mortal could become a god. A man like Thersites becoming a god was truly a terrifying thought.

It was only a few words, but it was a goodbye nonetheless. Death. Would it ever become any easier to process? Gabrielle hoped not. For it would mean she had become callused. And that was dangerous, whether a bard or merely a human being.

Their adventures were never easy. But to traverse to an active volcano? Gabrielle trusted her warrior princess, but thinking about being that close to an active volcano gave her pause. But the call of adventure was too great.

Xena's friend was wise. It was a very real possibility that the volcano could expose the cavern hiding the ambrosia. There were too many who would be willing to do whatever it took to gain the power of the gods.

The good news, for now, was that neither of those with clues were aware of the ambrosia. It was taxing enough they only were after treasure. A greedy assassin and a warlord would do nearly anything for that kind of treasure.

Petracles had been Xena's fiancé? Gabrielle nearly was sick at the revelation. So, there were those that could garner her warrior princess' affection. So much so, that she was once betrothed to one. Why not the bard?

Those emotions would have to be placed on hold for the moment. Locating Petracles and convincing him to work with them was of the utmost importance. It, as always, could mean the very survival of mortals.

It was easy to play the part. To innocently say hi. What Gabrielle wanted to do, and was, was to study Petracles. He was a handsome man. But there was something more. Even though she'd only been around him a few moments, Petracles reminded her a bit of Xena.

It was amusing how just a subtle suggestion by Xena had Petracles doing as she said. It was also the thought of the Sumerian treasure playing a large part in it. What little the village could offer was nothing compared to that kind of treasure.

It was difficult to do as Xena had asked. She had told Gabrielle that Petracles was not to be trusted. To not turn her back on him for a moment. Yet, there was something about the man. Once again, the bard couldn't decipher whether it was his charms or the fact he had managed to convince Xena to marry him…Jealousy?

Hate? Was that the reason Xena had warned the bard? There remained, even though miniscule, a part of Gabrielle that would hope it was out of love. Not sisterly love or love of family, but the love of a soulmate.

It was a strong word. But it was fitting. Gabrielle hadn't seen her friend this forceful or angry since their initial meeting. Even when Xena had struck her, the bard knew it wasn't out of anger towards her. So if the warrior princess was feeling hate, there had to be an interesting backstory. More than merely having been betrothed.

How did Gabrielle feel? She didn't know him. The only things she knew were from what Xena informed her of. There was the minor interaction with the representatives of the village. The best way to describe her feelings were curious. Perhaps, jealous.

So Petracles didn't see himself as a bloodthirsty warlord. Not a nice guy, but not to the extreme Xena made him out to be. The way he had attempted to have Gabrielle give him information about the clue showed just how cunning he could be.

The king of sweettalk? That wasn't new to Gabrielle. The bard had done her own share of sweettalking. After all, Perdicus had done nearly anything for her. There was talking her parents into giving her a pony.

There was something Gabrielle knew she could never do. Even though with every fiber of her being she craved it, she would never convince Xena she was worthy. That she could be more than a sidekick. That they could be lovers. Reluctantly, and sadly, the bard had no choice but to return her crown to Petracles.

It was more than welcomed when Xena asked that the bard join her. Gabrielle hadn't believed her warrior princess when she had informed the bard Petracles wasn't to be trusted. That there was a reason behind the warning. Yet, she hadn't believed.

Xena making certain she stayed away from Petracles was now understandable. Once again why? Was it to protect Gabrielle from his advances or because the warrior princess was attempting to keep the bard to herself?

Trust Gabrielle could make the right decision? The bard wasn't even certain she could do that. Had done that. Look at how she was still hurting over the fact she wasn't strong enough, or ready, to admit her feelings to her soulmate.

And just like that, Gabrielle was relegated. For the moment, she didn't mind. The bard could continue to study Petracles. He was more interesting than Thersites. If only because Petracles had done something the bard longed to do. Win Xena's heart.

Being threatened wasn't new to Gabrielle. The bard wasn't worried. She knew that Xena would always be there for her. She would always take care of her. At least until one day, when the unthinkable were to happen.

Without thought, Thersites took a life. It was an ingenious contraption, of that there was no doubt. And perhaps Gabrielle could use it in one of her stories. The way the assassin had struck out so easily and then took the man's treasures were more telling than anything.

Peis territory? Gabrielle hadn't heard of it. By the surroundings, the people weren't very nice. The bard had chills. But she also had a story running through her mind. Partially, it was to take away from the constant pain. Mostly, it was because it was what she did.

The arrows were suddenly raining down on everyone. Running was easy, until they came to a not so friendly looking bridge. Petracles secured the other end. Xena gave the order for Gabrielle to cross.

Not a fan of heights, nor the look of the bridge, Gabrielle was cautious as she made her way across. That was until Thersites decided he needed to join her. It was only a matter of time until the bridge was to collapse.

And Thersites was doing whatever he could to make it to the other side. That included stepping on the bard. Gabrielle couldn't hold on much longer. All she could do was call out for Xena and hope that her warrior princess would do her usual.

Before Gabrielle knew what was happening, Xena had launched herself and was holding the bard up. Petracles also aided in returning Gabrielle to land. Her feisty streak came to light as the bard hit Thersites. Not that she could actually harm him.

Xena stating that Petracles scared her more was confusing. Though there was a logic to her words, Gabrielle remained more terrified of Thersites. She remained more terrified of what she could see, instead of what might be.

After all, Gabrielle could see the love in her warrior's eyes. The thing that terrified her was losing that love. As always, it not growing into something more. The fear was real. For now, she would focus upon the mission at hand.

That would be gathering firewood. And attempting to decipher Petracles more. Unfortunately, the man saw right through her weak attempt to become closer. And asked her directly what it was she wanted.

What did she want? Gabrielle wanted to know exactly what had happened between Xena and Petracles. Partially, she wanted to know just what Petracles was capable of. Mostly, she wanted to know what it might take to garner Xena's full attention.

What Gabrielle learned was not what she had expected. Petracles was different. He wasn't like most warlords. It was about the chase. Once he had the spoils, including Xena, he wasn't interested anymore. And it was clear he was now setting his sights on Gabrielle.

The temple. It was a good as any distraction, for now, from the many conflicting thoughts warring within the bard. Gabrielle wasn't certain who she would prefer to have at her side. That wasn't exactly true, but choosing between an unconventional warlord and an assassin wasn't easy.

Xena's reasoning for sending Gabrielle and Thersites was sound. Still, the bard could not help but wonder if it was this continued protection the warrior princess seemed to have for her. But why the protection?

It was a good thing the bard could think on her feet. It took longer than she would have liked for Xena and Petracles to play their part. If nothing else, Gabrielle was gaining the beginnings of yet another exciting tale.

Especially when Thersites knocked over the statue. Luckily, Xena's timing was perfect. Once again, Gabrielle wondered if her warrior princess would always have such impeccable timing. And not just with saving her life.

It was interesting how Thersites continued to attempt to control everything. Gabrielle knew it was for profit. And perhaps for the fun of intimidating others. Petracles, on the other hand, seemed to be willing to do whatever Xena wished.

With the exception of wanting to give up his clue. It was an interesting riddle. When Xena was able to decipher it, it was actually quite simple. The real fun was having to wait until sunrise for the final reveal.

It appeared to have gone from one dead-end to another. Gabrielle already knew that looks could be deceiving. And the warning by Xena should have been a given. Though the bard would have to admit to being guilty of touching before thinking.

Their first true hug was an example of that. Yes, there had been the saying goodbye when it could have meant the death of Xena when the warrior princess and Hercules had attempted to restore order.

But the sudden loss of someone Gabrielle had come to care for a great deal had led to a hug. It wasn't actually a hug as it was the bard needing affection and an affirmation that she remained alive.

Just like that, Gabrielle was brought back into the here and now. Pertracles was once again pushing boundaries. He was doing the opposite of whatever Xena told him to do. And that gave the bard, and the others, a sinking feeling.

Luckily, they landed exactly where they needed to be. Now the race was on to see who discovered what the true treasure was. Unfortunately, it was Thirsites that discovered the key that led to the ambrosia.

Why was it Gabrielle had to be the one in trouble? True, she wasn't a warrior princess. But she was a good person. And she was learning how to fight. She would have to appease Thersites until Xena came to her rescue.

Timing was everything as they arrived nearly at the same time as Xena and Petracles. The warlord choosing to side with Thersites, was unfortunately, not unexpected. However, his act of heroism so that Gabrielle could be saved…

It made for conflicting emotions. Gabrielle could read her best friend well enough to know she wasn't alone in attempting to truly decipher how Petracles' death affected her. Was he the bad boy attempting to find redemption or was it truly in his nature all along?

The fact Petracles had held onto the wedding bracelet spoke volumes. Gabrielle could see how it affected Xena, even if it were only for a moment. Perhaps Petracles had truly loved the warrior princess, but hadn't been able to show it.

There was the distraction, for the moment, of destroying the ambrosia. This would require a sensitive chat. And for Gabrielle, it would be difficult as the bard knew she was in love with her warrior princess. But couldn't admit it, beyond to herself.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It seemed Xena couldn't travel anywhere without running into an old friend. It wasn't that long ago that Helen had sent for her, so in a way had met an old friend. Who also was not long for this realm.

At least both times, Gabrielle was with her. There was no doubt the bard was better equipped at comforting those in distress. Sadly, her healing skills were becoming quite efficient. Too efficient.

Another old friend of sorts. Thersites was dangerous. Not only did he enjoy killing, he was greedy. The combination of the two made him one of the most dangerous men. Even more dangerous than a warlord.

What was in the pouch was revealing. The map was the most important thing. But the Sumerian coin was the most telling. There was the hidden treasure that many had died attempting to locate. The fact only a handful knew the full extent of the treasure was what had Xena worried.

The thought of facing Petracles was not a happy one. Not only was he one of the few mortals who had conned her, she had genuinely cared for him. Not on the level of Gabrielle. No one compared to how she felt about her bard.

Another man who had meant something to Xena was gone. There were few she truly referred to as friend. Lycus had been one of those. Too few of those remained, outside of Gabrielle. And the nature of their relationship seemed to be fluctuating each second.

Luckily, Thersites was slightly easier to explain. He was an assassin. He was not to be trusted. And yet, he was needed. Sadly, as much as Petracles was needed, he wouldn't be easy to explain. Or to deal with the remaining emotions.

It wasn't surprising Gabrielle had heard of the Sumerian treasure. There was one thing very few knew. And the way her bard reacted, it was not shocking. It would make for a compelling story. That was all this was.

Though the way Gabrielle had reacted to the cavalier manner in which Xena had explained about Petracles was telling. Or was it what the warrior princess wanted? For there to be more than mere friendship to their relationship.

Gabrielle's cavalier way in which she handled Xena once again so easily taking down so-called guards was almost funny. One day, if the situation weren't so dire, the warrior princes might just crack a smile. Maybe.

Seeing Petracles in action brought back memories. It brought back too many memories. While Xena and Petracles had intimidated many a men, it was how her formerly betrothed had so easily manipulated her that had the warrior princess inwardly flinching.

The lure of treasure had to be behind Petracles so easily giving the farmer his goods and land back. Xena wondered if her presence had anything to do with it. She highly doubted it. But there was always a possibility.

The other was a new challenge. Gabrielle was that challenge. It was dangerous times for her bard. Xena had to warn her. Make Gabrielle understand exactly what Petracles was capable of. Without actually telling her what to do.

The warrior princess hadn't overheard the entire conversation, just enough to know Gabrielle had challenged Petracles in some way. Astonishingly, her bard had given in. It wasn't like Gabrielle. Look at how persistent she had been in convincing Xena to travel with her.

Gabrielle was right, in so many ways. Her bard was definitely a woman. Xena had stopped looking at Gabrielle as anything other than an equal a long time ago. And yet, emotions of this kind were new to the bard.

Dealing with someone as manipulative as Petracles was definitely new to Gabrielle. Even Xena wasn't certain she was impervious to his charms. And she had a past to learn from. It was difficult to allow her bard to learn the hard way, like she had.

And the maleness was overflowing. Thersites was strutting his feathers to show he was a bigger pain than Petracles. Already, Xena was tired of having to deal with the pair. But Petracles had one clue and Thersites two.

Leave it to Thersites to want to discuss splitting the treasure. To Xena, there was no difference between a murderer and an assassin. True, one was paid, but it was still the taking of a life. Something she'd done far too many times.

Threatening Gabrielle was the last thing anyone should do. It took restraint for Xena to merely take Thersites by the chin hairs. She wondered what would have happened had they not been interrupted by Theristes former employer.

It was an interesting contraption Thersites had invented. It was dangerous and easy to conceal. Xena didn't care for the murder of the man, but her stomach began to turn at how easily Thersites began stealing from the corpse.

Peis territory. It was a place Xena hadn't been in many seasons. It was too dangerous. They came at you in swarms, yet remained hidden. Fighting them would not be wise. Running to safety was the wisest of decisions.

Relying on Petracles wasn't easy, but he was a warrior. Unlike Thersites who was placing her bard in danger. If Xena didn't need the assassin's clues, she would have run her blade through the man for nearly causing Gabrielle to die.

It was an easy leap of faith. Gabrielle meant so much to the warrior princess. There would never be a time when Xena wouldn't place herself in danger, if only so that her bard could thrive. Even if it meant letting her go.

One thing that placed a smile, if only in her mind, upon Xena was the manner in which her bard went after the blood thirsty assassin. There was a spunk Gabrielle had in her. If she hadn't had it, never would they have traveled the same path.

The fact Xena once again had to attempt to explain to her bard exactly why Petracles remained so much more dangerous than Thersites was disconcerting. It meant her warnings were falling on deaf ears.

Warning Thersites of her long memory was pointless. With some men, greed outweighed all other factors. Thersites came from a long line of greedy persons. And in his case, killing was a part of that greed.

The fact she didn't have that desire for treasure anymore was telling. A man like Thersites could tell Xena wasn't in this for the monetary gain. She would have to be careful about being so telling in the future.

Once again, Xena had witnessed enough to know that Petracles was attempting to manipulate Gabrielle. Was it like he had the warrior princess? In any case, her former betrothed had to be warned. And in a way only Xena could do.

If only Petracles knew exactly the extent of jealousy running through the warrior princess. It wasn't for Petracles. It was because she wanted more and more to be the one to make Gabrielle happy. Both physically and mentally.

Tossing the wedding bracelet in the fire like garbage had been difficult, even if Xena attempted to make it sound so easy. She had had genuine feelings for Petracles. But it had needed to be done so that she could place him behind her.

Xena had doubted Thersites, if only a little. He was greedy. It could blind someone. Luckily, he was greedy enough to trust her with the clue. At least until he could attempt to make the treasure his own.

There was a part of Xena that wanted Thersites with Gabrielle to keep Petracles as far away from the bard as possible. But it was also true that she and Petracles were the experienced ones when it came to war.

Timing was everything. Something hadn't gone exactly to plan, as usual. It wasn't long before they were running. Thersites was right on one account. Those of the temple would not follow them.

He was wrong on another. The only one who would carry the ruby was Xena. While there was the Sumerian treasure, someone like Thersites could not be trusted with anything of even slight value.

Especially with Gabrielle. That was not a thought Xena wished to continue having. Instead, the clues were necessary to discover what to do with the ruby. Once retrieved, grudgingly, it wasn't that difficult to figure out what to do.

Waiting was never something Xena relished, even when she knew victory was certain. Patience had come to her in time. But there was a part of her that would forever remain impatient. Especially when it came to her bard.

Luckily, the night passed and they were able to follow the path. Thersites was ready to give up at every little obstacle. He was a man who sought instant gratification. In all matters of life, including love.

Once inside the cavern, Xena knew that anything could be a trap. Warning the others fell on deaf ears. In a way, the warrior princess would have thought it would be Gabrielle that instigated the fall, not Petracles.

Just like that, they found themselves exactly where they needed to be. It wasn't the way Xena had wanted to arrive. Perhaps, she would have to keep that in mind when it came to her relationship with Gabrielle. In the meantime, Thersites had discovered the key to the ambrosia.

And had taken Gabrielle. Xena now had to rely on Petracles to help in rescuing her bard. The warrior princess didn't have time to explain why she had kept the ambrosia from Petracles.

It nearly sounded genuine the fact Petracles wanted to make certain Gabrielle was safe before worrying about treasure or anything else. If only Xena could believe him. Instead, they had a deadly obstacle to face.

Why was it Petracles found new ways to annoy her. In this case, it was by not watching where his big feet were landing. They had to run, barely making it to safety. It could have easily been their bones future treasure hunters discovered.

Seeing Gabrielle held once again was nearly enough for Xena's composure to break. And how easily Petracles was seduced by the thought of being a god. It was now up to only the warrior princess.

Xena had no time to fully process the fact Petracles had been run through. That he had basically sacrificed himself for Gabrielle. The fight was nothing out of the ordinary. It nearly didn't last long enough.

Why? Because now Xena had to watch as Petracles died. As he revealed he had kept their marriage bracelet all these years. It didn't matter anymore. Yet, it would always have a part in how Xena saw herself. How she trusted, or, lack thereof.

Destroying the ambrosia was easy. Dealing with the fact Petracles had proven himself was not as easy. Nor was how the past relationship was affecting her current one. Was it why Xena couldn't bring herself to express her desire for her bard?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

They had traveled nearly a week since destroying the ambrosia. Neither had spoken much about the events that had transpired. For Xena, she was still coming to terms with the fact Petracles was a good man and had genuinely cared. For Gabrielle, she was cursing being so easily duped.

The campsites were quiet. There wasn't much conversation between the two. Xena spent nearly her entire time training, while Gabrielle was attempting to capture their latest adventure in her scrolls. Her personal diaries had been neglected so far.

Merely sitting across from Gabrielle was too much for Xena. Once again, her bard had been exposed to danger. Seeing Thersites hold a knife to her neck nearly made the warrior princess physically ill.

It wasn't the reason Xena was feeling so uncomfortable around her bard. The physical danger was, unfortunately, a part of their everyday lives. Gabrielle had accepted that when she had begged to be allowed to travel with the warrior princess.

What Xena continued not to be prepared for was how different individuals affected her bard. She would be stupid to think Gabrielle wouldn't grow and explore her own sexuality. What the warrior princess had been naïve about was how each time would affect her.

It was especially difficult since it was one of Xena's past lovers that had sparked Gabrielle's interest. Or was that why it was so unsettling? There was no denying she was in love with her bard. Jealousy was a given. But it was the person Gabrielle was attracted to.

No, Xena couldn't do this to herself. As her sword continued to clash with the poor tree, the warrior princess hurt. It wasn't about the physical pain. It was about the emotional pain. She continued to inflict pain upon her soulmate.

This had to end. But what could Xena do? She couldn't live without Gabrielle. She couldn't leave her bard at the next place they came to. Even if it was a palace, she and her bard were attached. Nearly like being married, death until they parted.

And that thought had Xena dropping her sword. Death. It was the only thing that would, and did, haunt the warrior princess more than having to watch Gabrielle to continually fall for another person.

Hopefully their next adventure would be a little less painful. Hopefully they would be able to spend time together. Hopefully they would be able to sort through their feelings. For now, it was time to act as if nothing had happened.

That meant walking into a quiet campsite. There was no meal prepared. They had acquired some dry rations at the last village they had traveled past. It made a pleasant change from the normal meals, though Xena missed the hunt.

Gabrielle, for once, had already eaten. She was sitting upon her bedroll. Her quill was in hand. It wasn't the story of their latest adventure the words poured out. It was her own feelings.

It was difficult to know if Gabrielle had been jealous because of her feelings for Petracles or if it was because he had done what she hadn't been able to do. If she were honest, she knew the answer to that. Without attempting to place anything in her diary.

Xena's presence was welcomed and unnerving. Gabrielle knew it would be another early evening. As much as she wanted to speak to her warrior princess about her conflicting emotions, she knew neither was ready to actually speak of them.

In fact, Gabrielle did something she rarely, if ever, did. She tore her scroll to shreds. "I'm not in the right frame of mind. I need to try and sleep. Sleep well, Xena." The bard never waited for a response.

Instead, Gabrielle wrapped herself in her blanket. Tears formed. Petracles had been something else. But it wasn't for the man she cried, though his death would forever haunt her. It was because the one person she wanted to love her most likely could never. At least not in the way in which she wanted to be.

The warrior princess inwardly sighed. If she were half the warrior she was regaled to be, Xena would be comforting her bard. Instead, she hid within. She too wrapped herself in a blanket. Another sleepless night was in store for her. Would this ever end? Would they ever be able to admit their feelings?


	15. Chapter 15

Two Xenas. You'd think that would be every bard's fantasy. But it wasn't. It was fun, in a way, to see a softer side to Xena. By that, I mean a royal princess. But their likeness was only skin deep.

Don't get me wrong, my warrior princess has a soft side to her. One that very few people are privileged to witness. And Diana was a warrior in her own right. She had just been sheltered. Not unlike how I had been sheltered.

The fact there are three others, at least used to be, that appeared identical to my warrior princess, could have been thought of as fun. But the fact of the matter was, especially at this time in my life, was painful.

I loved Xena, of that there was no doubt. We'd had some misses in telling one another of our feelings. The latest adventure had instilled in me that I remained naïve. To the ways of the world and to the ways of the heart.

It meant I needed to be more careful with my emotions. I couldn't allow myself to fall for anyone. Even show that I loved Xena with every breath that I took. Seeing two Xenas was…unnerving at best.

Xena winks at me as she makes her way into her room. I can't call it her weapons room, though there are a fair share of those. It's where my warrior keeps all her pastimes. There are too many to list. After all, she has many skills.

I think Xena realized, as she always does, that I needed a little something as I stroll down memory lane. It's not always the individual adventures that are so difficult to handle. It's the way they tie together.

Meeting Diana was interesting in many ways. It wasn't the fact she resembled Xena so. It was the fact I was her teacher. I had to be the one to show her how the little people lived, as she liked to refer to them.

I think we both needed the lightness of the adventure. And we had our time alone. It was Xena who went to the castle, while I remained at our campsite. It gave me time to think. And to attempt to write.

This is one adventure I'd love to know what Xena was thinking. What was it like seeing a possibility of a different personality? It had to haunt her. The what ifs. They haunted me. And Diana was a reminder of how different things could have been.

Granted Xena wouldn't have been raised in a palace, but if only her father hadn't tried to kill her. Or if her brother hadn't perished as they defended their home. And the biggest of all. If Caesar had not used and abused her so.

I shudder at the number of lives that would be different. Callisto wouldn't have killed so many innocents in the name of revenge. Alti wouldn't have sought out Xena. Would Lyceus had lived?

And the greatest what if for me would be what would have happened to me. Would I have settled for marrying Perdicus like I did and regretted? Or would I have braved the world and attempted to become the bard I am today?

Once again, I find myself off topic. So many things happened to us on our journeys. It wasn't merely the new people we met. Or the injuries we suffered. And the numerous times we each died.

It was how we fell in love. It was how we denied our love. It was how we used others to make the other jealous. It was a journey like no other in history. Will any of our next reincarnations even come close? Only time will tell. For now, I sit back and reflect on meeting a princess.

WARRIOR…PRINCESS

It wasn't the usual encampment. Xena was visiting the area's king. Gabrielle had wanted to attend the initial meeting, but the king had ordered the warrior princess to arrive alone. While both hated it, both also needed it as well.

Things had been awkward between them. And yet, everything had remained the same. It was something Gabrielle wanted to change. And yet, knew there was nothing she could do anything about.

So what was a bard to do? Write. In this case, it was poetry. It was an attempt to express what Xena must attempt to deal with every second of every day. Gabrielle couldn't understand how her warrior was able to function.

From the life of Marcus, to the life of Talus, so much loss that could have been prevented. Gabrielle knew of the past. Of a brother that had been one of the steps to the road of darkness. It hadn't been directly at Xena's hand, but the warrior princess continued to blame herself for his death.

Just as she came to the crucial part of her poem, a shadow fell upon her parchment. Gabrielle was nice enough about asking the man to move. However, the man had other ideas. In fact, he wanted payment for the freedom of sunlight.

Gabrielle hoped her warning would not go on deaf ears. Of course he had to prove his worth. Just as the fight was becoming interesting, Xena arrived. The bard was more grateful when the man made the comment she was worth a gold piece. Or twenty.

Instead of helping, Xena yelled for her Papa. Not once, but twice and ran away. There were times when the warrior princess had begun to test the bard's fighting skills. But they weren't usually in situations such as this. A little head's up would have been nice.

When the woman standing before her questioned who she was, Gabrielle knew something was off. Xena wasn't one for playing practical jokes. Well, there were the birthday jokes, but it wasn't near either's birthday.

After reading the note, Gabrielle was in disbelief. Two women who looked so much alike? It was unreal. The bard had heard of siblings or cousins looking alike, but two women born some distance apart?

Once the princess began speaking, Gabrielle knew instantly that the woman was telling the truth. Xena could play a part, of that there was no doubt. It was remarkable. It was unreal. It was going to be an interesting time teaching the princess how to act more like her warrior princess.

Like how to groom a horse. While it was true Argo's tail wasn't exactly shiny, brushing it so many times wasn't about to change that fact. There was so much this young, innocent woman didn't know. And Gabrielle thought she had been innocent when she had met Xena.

For one, Princess Diana had no idea about sleeping on the ground. It was rare when they could afford an inn during their travels or even one of the villages offered a warm meal and bed. This was life, not roughing it.

That included food. Gabrielle wasn't even certain what it was Diana said she could have eaten whole. It was cheese or it was nothing. It was another skill the bard hoped Xena would one day teach her.

Diana's request to use the dinars she had to eat at an inn showed just how much she was unlike Xena. It was never the easy way when it came to the warrior princess. Even with one of her plans, she always liked to improvise. And they'd not traveled long together.

There was something in the princess' voice when she spoke of Philemon. Gabrielle didn't know who he was or what his connection was to the princess, but there was something even Diana might not realize.

Those thoughts were quickly placed aside when the stranger emerged from the bushes. Diana was terrified of one of the ordinary people. While his appearance was a bit haggard, Gabrielle understood. It was the times. But the princess had been sheltered behind castle walls.

Diana sadly had no idea what was happening in the kingdom. Which meant her father had no idea what was occurring either. When trusted advisors could no longer be trusted…

It was easy to give what little Gabrielle had to the family for the man wasn't alone. It was sad when one had no place to call home. While the bard and warrior princess chose to travel from place to place, people like these had no choice. Hardworking, but no work to be had.

The princess appeared to be remorseful. Hopefully Diana would be true to her word. That she would, either through her father or personally, see to it that the people who were suffering would receive the help they so desperately required.

Gabrielle should have been paying more attention when the princess began being asked about Xena's weapon. There was only one who could wield the trusty chakram. And when Diana let fly the round killing thing…

Luckily, no damage was done, other than to the king's crown. Gabrielle had never been happier to see her warrior princess. Spending time with Diana had reminded her of just how much in love with Xena she was.

And Gabrielle could finally see the inside of the palace. Granted, it wasn't that long ago that she had spent time at King Gregor's palace. But it was something new. And it fueled her imagination.

Especially since the princess resembled her best friend, so much so, it was nearly impossible to tell them apart. The fact Xena was so insistent on leaving so soon after proving who was the one behind the attempts on Diana's life should have been telling. Yet, the warrior princess hated the life of ease.

The one thing Gabrielle was having issues truly coming to terms with was how easily Xena became a true princess. The gown she was wearing…It caused sensations in the bard she had never truly experienced before.

It wasn't long after they were headed to Corinth that Philemon came for Xena. Before Gabrielle could even say anything, her best friend and Philemon were off. It left Gabrielle to fend for herself, once again.

The walk wasn't too long, but it gave Gabrielle time to think. The fact she had made up time and come across Philemon and Diana, not Xena, had planted an idea in the young bard's mind. If love between two unlikely as Philemon and Diana could flourish, why not between a bard and a warrior princess?

When Xena had agreed it was romantic, it gave Gabrielle hope. And when her warrior princess told her to speak up, the bard nearly did. Something held her back. Why? Wasn't lack of communication the reason the two remained merely friends?

Instead, the conversation turned to trivial things. Like how one could become accustomed to living in a palace, even though it wasn't as easy as one might like to think. It was how they avoided serious conversations. It was pattern.

When would the pattern end? When would either take a chance? And if they ever took the chance, when would they actually stop withholding even the tiniest of details? Hopefully before both were old and grey.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Being summoned by a king wasn't all that unusual. But Xena wasn't for hire. Though she'd proven if the cause was worthy, she would fight for whoever was hiring her. Regardless of the reward.

Guards didn't normally salute and allow her to pass. While it could be down to Xena's reputation, there was more to it than that. She would have to be cautious as she made her way to see the king.

The first person she encountered acted as if she knew Xena. And what was with covering her costume? While it wasn't necessarily how most would dress to visit royalty, she wasn't like most people.

Further adding to the mystery was how the young woman made it seem like it would be all right if Xena visited the king in his bed chamber. And her wish was the young woman's command? Something definitely wasn't right.

As soon as she was alone, Xena felt herself under attack. Luckily, there was wine sitting about. With one of her many skills, the warrior dispatched the man who had attacked her. But no one, other than Gabrielle and the King, knew she was at the palace.

Yes, it would have been nice to interrogate the assassin. Sometimes, that wasn't a possibility. The king's reaction to her was not unlike the guards and the young woman. She was missing something.

Xena wasn't for hire, especially for those that could afford it. But then, if a life was on the line, who was the warrior princess to judge? Especially when she came face to face with the princess. Who obviously hadn't been out in the real world.

The princess had no idea her life was in danger. The attempt on the warrior princess' life wasn't on her own. Xena had sensed it was something along those lines. But after seeing Diana, she could understand why an assassin would mistake her for the princess.

Her reputation preceded her. It was King Sisyphus that had informed King Lias of the resemblance. It would definitely play a part in whatever plan Xena was able to place into motion. Her separation from Gabrielle would come in handy.

The fact slavery could be ended in any region of Greece was a worthy cause indeed. Yes, one life was worth fighting for. But the fact so many would continue to suffer if the marriage were to fall apart…

It made sense for Xena to take the princess' place. Definitely before the wedding was to take place. There would never be another marriage in the warrior princess' future. Not even if her bard were to finally be available.

The safest place for Diana would be alongside Gabrielle. While her bard was still in the process of learning the staff, she could defend herself and most innocents without Xena's assistance.

It wasn't as difficult as Xena thought it would be speaking as the princess had. Their encounter had been brief. Yet, she had learned Diana's speech and mannerisms enough to fool her handmaiden, Tesa.

Though Xena hastily learned she would have to watch how far she went. After all, even jokingly saying she was to eat the dog wasn't exactly funny. There were far too many ways she could easily and unknowingly slip.

While Xena needed to learn all she could from Diana, speaking to someone so innocent who looks so much like her was a little unnerving. Was the warrior princess ever so innocent and naïve?

And there was definitely something between Diana and Philemon. Xena wondered what it would take for the princess to admit she would rather be married to Philemon than his brother. Someone who was committed to duty might not be able to.

Having Diana wear her trusty chakram was dangerous. After all, it was capable of great brutality. It wasn't often Xena was without her chakram. It was her signature weapon. One that others easily recognized.

Speaking of easily recognized, referring to ordinary people as little people was a sign. Diana truly did need a lesson in life. Xena only hoped Gabrielle was up to the task, until they could be reunited.

The dress wasn't something Xena was accustomed to. Even before she had become the evil warlord, dresses were not her style. Or if they were, it was something she or her mother had made.

From an attack to roses, Xena knew her mistake. The man had fawn hair. The eye color would confirm he was Diana's betrothed's brother. More explaining as she had reacted first. Yet, her life was on the line as long as she was posing as the princess.

Spending time with Philemon and becoming familiar with the grounds was a very good idea indeed. Attempting to gain information from Philemon would be tricky. There were how many conversations between Philemon and Diana.

Xena had many skills, the harp was not one of them. Luckily, one of them was fighting. The tricky part was to make it appear as if Philemon was doing all the work. It wasn't merely a man's ego. Diana could not defend herself.

How could anyone put up with this kind of preparation? A thousand brushstrokes each day? It was unreal. And unnecessary. Unlike how many times she did her sword drills or flips to make certain she was ready for anything.

Sitting out the dinner was dangerous. Yes, Xena could slip, but the princess must meet her fiancé as well as be there for the leaders. It wouldn't be easy, but nothing the warrior princess ever did was easy.

So Xena couldn't courtesy. She could do many other things. Like spot a man who had too much to lose if the marriage were to take place. Already, the walking gem mine was at the top of her list of suspects.

Dinner was eventful. Especially when Xena, er the princess, was asked to play the harp. It was a good thing her fingers were strong. The harp would have to be restrung before it could be of any use to anyone.

Xena was grateful to roam free from the constant scrutiny. Unfortunately, Philemon had followed her. And suspected she wasn't who she was. Luckily, it didn't take much for the warrior princess to convince him she was who she was and that she only wanted Diana safe.

They were rudely interrupted by the latest attempt on Diana's life. It was used to catch the assassin. They were able to catch the man. Xena was able to use the pinch to proffer the information she required.

It seemed too easy the explanation. Not that Bromeus wasn't behind the attacks. In fact, it made perfect sense. But to do this alone? Xena wasn't certain. For now, she would see how things played out.

The fact Bromeus was found hung meant little to nothing. Yes, it could prove his guilt. But it could just as easily prove he was merely the fall guy. The way the king accepted so easily the guilt spoke to the man being the fall guy. As well as did the way Glauce spoke.

Was Xena speaking of Gabrielle or the princess when she informed Philemon Diana belonged to no one. How she had missed even Gabrielle's voice at this point. Hopefully she and the princess were staying out of trouble.

At least Diana had learned something from her short time away from the castle. If nothing else, that was a positive. Yes, sadly, Diana did have a future husband to meet. If only Philemon or Diana would speak up.

Of course, they weren't the only ones. Xena knew she couldn't continue to hide her true feelings towards her bard. And Gabrielle couldn't hide her feelings. It had deeply hurt Gabrielle when she had referred to her as a sister.

Now for the difficult part. Xena had to convince her best friend they couldn't remain. That Corinth was awaiting them. What Xena truly wanted to do was to have alone time with Gabrielle. Perhaps they could actually communicate for once.

Xena had already suspected Bromeus had been murdered. Philemon merely confirmed her suspicions. It was easy to send him out of the way. He could, hopefully, have a real conversation with the woman he loved. Unfortunately, it would leave Gabrielle out of the loop.

It wasn't long before the conspiracy continued. If Xena hadn't been alert, both she and Glauce could have been killed. But she used her many fighting skills. It was nearly comical the way Glauce would pass on her, merely because she was a warrior and not a princess.

Yet Xena could learn to live the life of a princess. It had its positives and negatives. The desserts were one of the things the warrior princess could definitely become accustomed to. For now, it was time for their next adventure. And to perhaps have a true conversation with her best friend.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Back under the stars. It's the way things were meant to be. At least in the immediate future it was how things were meant to be. Gabrielle, at one time, had trouble sleeping beneath the stars. Now, there were times when she slept too well.

Tonight was not one of them. In fact, Gabrielle was having trouble sleeping for distinct reason. In a way, she had witnessed two Xenas. While one was a princess in the truest definition, there was no one like her warrior princess.

Why was Gabrielle having trouble sleeping? Simple. She had watched Diana take a chance on love. It had been decree that the princess marry the elder of the two brothers. But there hadn't been love between them.

There hadn't even been a meeting between them. After speaking to both Diana and Philemon in private briefly before they had left, Gabrielle knew it had been Xena who had encouraged both to follow their hearts.

Regardless of how both were committed to peace, ending slavery and their royal duties, Diana had taken that chance. She had told Philemon how she felt. And, after a moment of hesitation, he had admitted he shared in the feelings.

Gabrielle decided that lack of sleep could be constructive. No, it couldn't stir her creative juices. Besides a few notes here and there, the bard hadn't truly written a story. Her diary flowed, most of the time.

So what was a bard to do in the middle of the night? There was a full moon. Why not take advantage of it? Gabrielle wondered where her warrior was as she gathered her bathing essentials.

If Xena couldn't sleep, she was most likely performing her drills. She could also be fishing or hunting. Either way, the warrior princess was nowhere to be found. The full moon lit the path well. Still, Gabrielle remained on full alert.

"Where do you think you are going?" Gabrielle stopped in her tracks. Xena was sweating. She loosely held her sword at her side. She wasn't wearing her leathers. Her expression was one of anger.

"I thought about taking a midnight bath." Gabrielle held up her towel and soap. "Or would you rather I remain at camp by myself?" Had it been the snappish way in which Xena had asked where she was heading or was it her own lack of sleep causing the anger in her voice?

Xena was startled by the tone of voice. While it could be the lack of sleep, she wondered if it was because of the continued strain. The strain by both women to deny their true feelings for one another was continuing to take their toll.

"Perhaps I can join you. And you can tell me what you think about Diana and Philemon." Xena waited for a reaction. There was little flinching on her bard's part. In fact, no words were said as Gabrielle returned to the path she had been on.

The warrior princess took that as an invitation. She didn't bother with her towel. Instead, Xena fell in step with her bard. It wasn't long before both had discovered the reason Xena had chosen that particular campsite.

The waterfall had to be at least four hundred feet in the air. Gabrielle hadn't realized they were so close to the hills. Most likely, Xena had. It meant they weren't far from Amazon lands. It would be interesting to revisit. Hopefully one day they could, if only to see what her legacy was.

Instead of merely swimming, the two women stood under the waterfall. It surprised Gabrielle how warm the water was. She knew the sun heated the waters during the day, but it still felt unusual that it should be this warm.

"We're only about a day or so away from one of the most active volcanoes in Greece. It's why the water remains warm, night or day." Xena watched her bard. "We're also half a day from your fellow Amazons. I know you want to return. Just give me the word."

It was funny. Xena was normally a woman of few words. To Gabrielle, it was almost as if her best friend was nervous. Was it because the bard had witnessed two soulmates finally admitting their love?

Or was it merely her warrior princess attempting to teach her? Gabrielle wasn't certain. "I would like to return to the village. To see first-hand how Ephiny and the others are doing. It's been too long. Just like I'd love to visit your mother. I really didn't get a chance to during my only trip to Amphipolis."

So, this was how it was to be. Xena hated it. As she watched her bard bathe, she knew she would have to open up. To attempt to bridge the canyon that seemed to have been caused by one utterance of the warrior princess.

Xena wasn't naïve. She knew exactly what she had said. And she was nearly a hundred percent certain that it was because Gabrielle was in love with her. Now was a warrior princess braver than a royal princess? Or was Diana the brave one?

When the words wouldn't come, Xena's mind returned to the reason she had been away from camp. Yes, she had felt she needed to work out after the decadent lifestyle of the castle. It wasn't for long, but she had still felt the need for it.

Marcus. Why had he suddenly entered her mind? He was one person who had touched her life more than others. And she had loved him, in her own way. But he hadn't been the love of her life. And he certainly hadn't been her soulmate.

Perhaps her thoughts were upon Marcus because of his recent demise. She had never truly told Marcus how much she cared. It wasn't right. What was more wrong was the fact she refused to inform Gabrielle how much she was in love with her.

Just as Xena was about to reveal her true feelings, her senses heightened. How had she missed her bard not being there? The warrior princess was in a panic as she scanned the pond the waterfall pooled in.

The full moon came from behind its hiding place. Xena's heart nearly skipped a beat as she saw the crimson in the water. There was no hesitation as she easily dove in the fairly deep waters.

It didn't take long to locate Gabrielle. It took even less time for Xena to bring them both back to the surface. She carried the limp body of her best friend to where she had left her towel. Not bothering with the towel, Xena hastily inspected her bard's body from head to toe.

Already, there were scars upon Gabrielle's body. Xena cursed herself for the few injuries her best friend had incurred. It was with relief that the warrior princess discovered the bump on the head. It wouldn't require stitches, just being wrapped.

Luckily, Gabrielle sputtered before taking deep breaths. Emerald eyes opened slowly. There was a haze to them, but Xena was certain she had been recognized. "Don't scare me like that, Gabrielle. I can't…"

This was not the time. And yet, this was the perfect time. "Gabrielle, we need to talk. When you are up for it." Xena felt the shiver run through her bard's body. Though she knew it wasn't because she was physically cold, Xena took the time to wrap her bard's body before carrying her the short distance to the camp.

Xena made certain both were dressed, the fire was stoked before she settled next to her bard. Gabrielle's head was tightly wrapped. In only a day or two, she would be able to travel. For now, they would have to remain where they were.

"Gabrielle, you have a concussion. You're going to have to stay awake. We'll have to camp here for the next two days." Eyes were glassy. Xena wasn't certain if her bard was understanding her or not.

"There's something else." Xena was grateful there was a tree not far from the fire. She had her bedroll propped against it so she could lean more comfortably. Gabrielle's head was cradled in her lap.

"I don't know if you'll remember any of this, but I have to say it." Xena took a deep breath. "I love you. More than as a sister. More than as merely family. I don't think I could live my life without you in it."

Emerald eyes blinked. Gabrielle wasn't certain she had heard her best friend correctly. Those were words she always wanted to hear. Yet, she wasn't certain if Xena was saying those words because that's how she felt, if it was because of their latest adventure or if it was because the bard had been harmed once again.

"You don't have to say anything." Xena chose not to look in emerald eyes. "Just know that I love you. And no matter how you feel, we'll always be friends." There was no response. The rest of the evening was spent in silence.

The sun hitting her face caused Xena to awaken. She glanced around. The fire was out, but there was still a little bit of smoke emanating from it. Everything seemed in place, including Argo happily munching on grass not far away.

When emerald eyes opened, they remained slightly glassy. Xena cursed herself for allowing Gabrielle to fall asleep. It wasn't the worst thing, but it wasn't the best under the circumstances.

"Morning." Gabrielle seemed to immediately focus at the sound of the warrior's voice. "Let me check on your wound." There was no word or sound from the bard. It didn't take long for Xena to realize the wound didn't need the wrap, but would have to be careful of. "Do you remember what happened?"

Gabrielle cleared her throat. The last thing she remembered was being under the spray of the waterfall. "I was enjoying the warm shower. The next thing I knew, the sun was in my face. What happened?"

Xena's heart sank. She had opened her heart. She had admitted her true feelings. And it had been for nothing. Instantly, the stoic warrior came to the surface. "You scared me. You slipped on the rock. Luckily, it was only a minor cut and concussion. We'll need you to rest for the next two days. No traveling, I'm afraid."

There was more. How Gabrielle knew, she was uncertain. Even with the stoic façade, she knew Xena was hurting. Had the bard admitted her feelings and now didn't remember? Or was it the other way around?

Or had they discussed something else that was just as hurtful? Gabrielle knew Xena wouldn't open her heart once again if she had admitted her feelings. And the bard didn't dare admit her feelings.

What were they to do? They were to spend the next two days in near paradise conditions. It wasn't the palace they had just left, but they had access to a heated waterfall or pond. There was an unlimited supply of fish.

For Gabrielle, the best part was the words were coming to her once again. By the time they broke camp, she was nearly out of ink and parchment. She would have to tell some tales so that she could continue to scribe her stories.

For Xena, the best part was leaving the site behind. Perhaps one day it wouldn't be a painful reminder. She could have easily lost Gabrielle. But worse was pouring her heart out only to not have her bard remember. Oh the irony of life. The agony of life. And yet, they had so much to look forward to. Xena had to hold onto that as they faced their next adventure.


	16. Chapter 16

I didn't have the distinct pleasure of meeting all of Xena's former lovers in person. The worst was, of course, Caesar. His was not one of love, but of power. And his actions were what finished my soulmate's path to the darkness that engulfed her for so long.

There's a part of me that would have loved to have met M'Lilla and La Mao. Those two, strong women, attempted to influence my warrior princess so she would disembark from a path of self-destruction.

Meeting Marcus was something I wasn't prepared for. Especially not after our latest adventure. One, he had sacrificed himself to save an innocent. Two, he had been a bad boy, but with a heart of gold.

The most important reason I was unprepared to meet Marcus was because of how our last adventure had ended. As we traveled, I knew something had transpired between us. But the bump on the head had wiped my memory away.

It wasn't until much later, Xena had finally confessed what she had told me. It had hurt, not being able to remember what she had expressed. And the fact it could have saved Perdicus' life…

Had I known of Xena's feelings, meeting Marcus would have been…Even as a bard, I'm uncertain if have the words to describe my emotions knowing my soulmate was reuniting with her ex so that she could right a terrible wrong.

Jealousy was not something I was accustomed to feeling. Yes, I'd felt jealousy of the attention my sister received. Yes, I'd felt jealousy towards those that had traveled the world. Yes, I was jealous of storytellers around the world.

But the kind of jealousy I felt watching Marcus and Xena was unreal. As I sat upon that shore, awaiting my soulmate's return, I wondered what I would do if she were not to return.

I knew there was a very real possibility that Xena could perish as she and Marcus attempted to do the right thing. Hades was a god. We'd already witnessed the unpredictability of a god with our encounter with Ares.

It wasn't merely the power a god can wield. It was the other factor. Not remembering Xena's words, I had no idea how she truly felt. While I sensed she loved me the way I loved her, it hadn't been confirmed, at least not in words.

I was terrified. What if Xena had left me? What if I was alone in the mortal realm for the rest of my days? I feel hands upon my shoulders. I have to take a moment before I can continue to write this portion of the story.

I fear there will be other times when I am at a loss to discover the right words. Or that the emotions will be too grave for me to put quill to parchment. I ask forgiveness now. And hope those enchanted with my stories will understand and allow me and my soulmate a bit of privacy in such matters.

Back to the story at hand. A time that hurt me more than I realized as I look upon it. And yet, I know it hurt Xena even greater. If only because she had confessed her feelings, only to have her words forgotten.

There are so many things I understand, now that so many years have passed by. But as I was living them, I could not always understand. I'm certain Xena feels the same way. It's why I write these chronicles. Not so the future generations will know what we attempted to do. But so that we can both understand our journey together.

So, here I am on the journey of meeting one of Xena's exes. I wasn't prepared for it. Neither was my soulmate. And perhaps that's why everything unfolded as it did. As always, sometimes things happen for a reason.

MORTAL BELOVED

A ghost? That was a new one. Gabrielle and her warrior princess had faced many mortal enemies, but not one from beyond the next existence. If the frightened girl was to be believed, it was something new and different.

And yet, Gabrielle wasn't certain, even with Xena at her side, if she wanted to see a ghost for herself. Perhaps it would be best to remain at the inn. Perhaps she could entertain the patrons while her best friend investigated.

Since she wasn't certain how long Xena would be, the tale was a short one. But it was comical. It was necessary under the circumstances. The best part was the few dinars Gabrielle earned. With her supplies depleted, she was desperate for them.

It took a moment for Gabrielle to process what Xena was saying. Since she'd come back from attempting to discover if there was such a ghost, the bard couldn't quite digest the fact there was a ghost.

And what was more, the ghost was Xena's ex. Marcus had sought out the warrior princess because something wasn't right in the underworld. How could her best friend be so certain what she needed to do?

How could Xena even attempt to joke about getting to the other side one way or another? Gabrielle was not happy. How close had both come to death in the months they had traveled together? It was certainly not something to joke about.

What Xena spoke next about tore Gabrielle's heart from her body. The warrior princes, her warrior princess, had to save the man she loved. That said it all, didn't it? It meant the bard was nothing more than a sister to Xena.

Taking the chakram from Xena wasn't easy. It was as if her best friend was saying there was no return. It was more likely that it, along with her sword, would only weigh her down. For that reason alone, Gabrielle was grateful to take care of the warrior princess' meager, but prized, possessions.

Watching Xena dive into the lake was beyond words. Unfortunately, Gabrielle had untold amounts of time to think about everything. The one thing that remained so glaring, besides the potential for Xena's death once again, was how her warrior princess had acted the two days after she acquired a concussion.

Something had transpired, of that there was no doubt. Gabrielle knew that her warrior princess would not speak of whatever had. Not unless the bard was the first to reveal her feelings or whatever it was in regards to.

As Gabrielle attempted to place her thoughts in her scroll, strangers happened upon her. A festival could be exactly what the bard needed as a distraction and also inspiration for her writing.

But alas, Gabrielle had a loved one she was worried about. Who was placing herself in danger for the man she loved. But what about the bard? Why would Xena risk everything and possibly leave Gabrielle alone?

The day passed with the same thoughts running through Gabrielle's mind. She wasn't certain how she was to face Xena once again, knowing that if she saw her warrior princess, she would have seen her love.

The noise of the water caught Gabrielle's attention. But when she looked up, there was no one there. There was the sound of footsteps, but no visible sign. Until the man appeared out of thin air.

It was clear this man was a dangerous one. Gabrielle managed to fight the man. Xena would have been proud of her efforts. Even though they weren't as successful as she hoped. But she was alive.

And staring into Xena's eyes. The maniac had been driven off, but there was something else for Gabrielle to take in. Not only had her warrior princess returned, so had Marcus. A man who was supposed to be dead.

Atyminius could be anywhere. And that was dangerous, wielding the powers of Hades helmet. But what was more dangerous for the bard was the fact Marcus was there. And the way he looked at Xena, even when they feared for their lives…

Unfortunately whatever wound Gabrielle had inflicted wasn't all that damaging. Already the wound was beginning to heal. It would make tracking the maniac that much more difficult.

Camp for the night? Gabrielle wasn't certain even attempting to sleep was the wisest of choices. She intended to remain awake all night long. Even if she hadn't slept since discovering there was a ghost and who it belonged to.

Yet, there had to be something about knowing Xena was near. The next thing Gabrielle realized, she was being awakened and their ritual continued. Only it wasn't their usual ritual. There was a third party involved.

It was difficult to watch the interaction between Xena and Marcus. He was so much like the warrior princess. He'd been in battles. He'd tracked men. It was no wonder there was a connection between the two.

The distraction of the men hurt was a welcomed one, unfortunately. It didn't last long as Gabrielle heard what the festival entailed and why it would be a perfect target for Atyminus. The maniac's specialty was killing brides on the eve of their wedding.

As soon as they arrived, it was obvious Atyminus had already been here. People were acting as if they'd seen a ghost. In a way, they had. Now it was a race to make certain the bride knew what was in store for her and prevent her death.

The plan unfolded as they had devised, for once. Gabrielle knew what happened next. She was to join Marcus and Xena as they traveled back to the lake. The lake that could see both of them dead, once again.

The journey was a solemn one. Gabrielle knew for both Marcus and Xena, it meant saying goodbye once again. For the bard, it could mean losing her best friend. But there was so much more to it. Something she feared more than anything in the world.

Once again, Gabrielle found herself beyond words. She attempted to write. Instead, the bard found herself staring across the lake. Wondering what she would do if Xena weren't successful in the final leg of her journey.

It wasn't only making it to the bottom of the lake and avoiding death. It was what happened when Xena returned. Already, the warrior princess had proven she could survive. So it was the return of her best friend and what they would speak of that had Gabrielle so concerned.

As Gabrielle helped Xena to the shore, she couldn't think of what to say. The ultimate sacrifice was what was uttered. And what was that? To reassure her warrior princess that one day she and Marcus would be reunited.

The fact Xena said they would never be apart nearly caused Gabrielle to breakdown. The only thing giving her strength was the fact she knew Xena did love her, at least on some level. And that they could continue to travel together. Hopefully for a very long time.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena was numb. Not that she didn't always walk through life with her feelings suppressed. It was different now. It had to be as she had confessed her love to Gabrielle. And her bard had not remembered. All because of a blasted concussion.

The distraction of a ghost was most welcomed. Xena didn't believe in spirits, but wasn't about to take a chance on something endangering anyone. And it would give her some space from her bard.

The warrior princess wasn't certain if it was her imagination or not, but it seemed Gabrielle was eager to remain behind. It could have merely been the fear of the unknown. But it felt like more. Or was Xena projecting her own feelings?

Xena wasn't prepared for the voice she heard. It couldn't be Marcus. And yet, if there was trouble, Marcus would seek her out. But what kind of trouble would there be in the underworld? And what could a mortal do.

Had Xena missed Marcus? Yes, she had. She had thought of him often. While she truly did love him, it wasn't necessarily because she was in love with him. It was regrets. She had to use him to save the princess.

Plus, Xena hadn't quite been able to get through to Marcus, at least not until it was too late. Why? He had known she could have saved the princess. And yet, she knew why. It had to be his move to attempt to be good.

Alconian Lake? It was known as one of the deepest lakes in the known world. There was legend that it could lead you to the underworld. If one could survive the dive. Xena knew she could. But the question was would she?

As she made her way back to the inn she had left her bard, Xena knew the answer. It was for Marcus and to right whatever was wrong. But more so, it was to separate herself from her bard.

It was even more clear they needed their separation. Gabrielle was, in a way, being selfish. Or was she being jealous? She was attempting to convince Xena she shouldn't make the trek to the lake or place her life on the line.

Consider the consequences? Xena was hurt her bard would even say that. While it must be difficult to accept the warrior princess had to do this, it hurt. But the callous words about making it one way or another were not fair.

Was it hurt or anger Xena witnessed when she had said she had to do this for the man she loved. If only the warrior princess could be certain Gabrielle was in love with her. She would take a chance and reveal her feelings once again.

Until the day Xena was certain, she would continue to guard herself. She would also study Gabrielle. Perhaps her young bard would finally reveal how she was feeling. And it would solve everything.

Until then, Xena had a mission to undertake. Leaving Gabrielle on the shore was the most difficult thing in the known world. Leaving her chakram behind wasn't the most difficult thing. If anyone could be entrusted with her weapon, it was her bard.

How Xena survived the dive, she was uncertain. Meeting Charon was surreal. And yet, the warrior princess acted as if it was an everyday occurrence. What was even more surreal was the banter between she and Charon.

The only way Xena was able to procure a seat upon Charon's boat was to promise to fix what was happening. It seemed to amuse Charon that a mere mortal would be able to settle the underworld.

Immediately, Xena knew something wasn't right. How could any child be condemned to Tartarus? The child was terrified as the warrior princess eased her from the overheated pool. Now if only she could reunite child with mother.

There wasn't time as Marcus was calling to her. While it did feel good to hold Marcus once again, it wasn't like when she held her bard. It was the truth that she had thought of Marcus a great deal.

What exactly had Marcus heard when she had thought of him? When Xena thought of Marcus, it was with love. But it was also with regret. And in some cases, anger that he didn't believe she would be able to save the princess.

Even the hardened warrior princess had to inwardly shiver when she had discovered it was Atyminus behind the mix up in the underworld. The fact he had Hades confined and use of the God's helmet made the situation that much graver.

The state of the Elysian Fields was something to behold. Not one innocent remained. It was all thugs, murderers and the worst of the worst. In fact, there were a number of evil doers that Xena had sent to Tartarus herself.

When Toxeus approached, Xena knew she'd have to be careful. Including informing him and the others how she had died. It would, most likely never happen, but falling off Argo was better than having someone run her through.

Toxeus talked a big game, but the moment Xena mentioned Atyminus, his tune changed instantly. If someone like Toxeus feared even the mention of Atyminus, it confirmed what the warrior princess already knew. Atyminus needed to be stopped. Any way possible.

As they left Toxeus behind, Xena realized something. There were no rules. Only the wicked were able to roam between the Elysian Fields and Tartarus. How was it Marcus was able to move between realms?

One good deed could not make up for a lifetime of evil. It hit Xena harder than she would have thought it would. Not only for Marcus, but for herself. The atrocities she had unleashed could never be forgiven. Therefore she could never be allowed in the Elysian Fields. And she would be separated from Gabrielle. For eternity and beyond.

Luckily, in a way, before Xena could dwell on the heart wrenching thought, Atyminus made himself know. Unluckily, the maniac could sense she was mortal. Instantly, the wicked turned on the warrior princess.

There was one thing Xena had always been good at. It was thinking on her feet. It was easy to turn the tables upon Atyminus. Throwing power of the helmet out there made the wicked want it for themselves.

It was chaos for a few moments. It left Toxeus without a head. But it also caused Xena to lose sight of Atyminus. Instead of attempting to discover his location, it might be better to speak with Hades.

Xena had fought many, but this was the first she had fought a harpie. As it turned out, they weren't too keen on fire. It made for disposing of them a little easier, though nothing was ever easy for the warrior princess.

A god who feared mortals. Did his power solely come from his helmet? Or was he merely the kind of god who sat upon the sidelines. It was different as Xena was used to dealing with Ares who took a great deal of interest in those he wanted for himself.

The fact Atyminus would be human in the mortal realm was a plus. But the fact remained, Marcus needed to prove himself. He was the one who had sought out Xena. Was it truly beyond the god to make Marcus mortal again?

The deal was struck. Forty-eight hours wasn't very long, but she would have to make the most of it. The fact Atyminus would arrive in the mortal realm the same way Xena had entered it caused the warrior princess to move at a heightened pace.

Her fears were instantly confirmed as the first thing Xena was able to see was her bard upon the ground with Atyminus about to take Gabrielle's life, if he hadn't already. It didn't take much to act.

Unfortunately, the maniac used the helmet to escape. At least Gabrielle would be all right, at least physically. It was emotionally the bard might not be able to recover. After all, it wasn't everyday one met a ghost.

Would the fact Marcus was her ex affect the bard more? Xena wasn't certain. There was little time for that as they had to move. Atyminus had the advantage, but he had left a trail to follow.

They would follow what trail they could discover until nightfall. It was true Atyminus wouldn't travel at night as his one advantage was void. It would be an interesting evening as Xena's true love would be asleep as she had to deal with her ex.

The bard's snores were adorable. Xena could listen to Gabrielle snore all evening long. Why? It meant her true love was there and unharmed. It meant she was still traveling with the one person in the known realm who could make her happy.

That was when Marcus made his presence known. There was a part of Xena who wanted to take comfort in his arms. She had loved him, more than anyone, at least before her bard. But a night of physical pleasure was not something she could allow for herself.

It wasn't because Marcus was only temporary. She knew her ex wanted to hold her, to touch her. The way he had said it was her that he had missed the most tugged at the warrior princess' heart.

For a moment, Marcus said the words that eased her conscience. Xena would blame herself for eternity for Marcus' death, even with having him say things had to play out the way they did. But it did help a little living with her choices.

So Marcus had heard how she was about to give up on love. Did he realize it wasn't merely because of his demise? It was because she didn't think she deserved love. And more importantly, didn't think her true love returned her feelings.

When Marcus spoke of her love being the only thing keeping him sane in Tartarus, Xena nearly lost it. She nearly gave into the physical side of love. She did say the words. And meant them more than she could even realize.

But to make love with Gabrielle sleeping so near was not something Xena could do. She hoped Marcus would understand as she halted the kiss and instead of continuing, merely held him in her arms the entire night.

In some ways, it felt as if she was cheating on Gabrielle. Any relationship she was tempted to forge would feel this way. The only intimate relationship she ever wanted to enjoy was with her bard. Even if it were to never happen.

Luckily, morning arrived and they were hastily on their way. They knew they were on the right path when they came across the stunned and beaten men. They hadn't seen who had done this to them. The need to hurry was an understatement.

A festival for a wedding? It was exactly what Atyminus would have dreamed of. Though the men could use some healing, it was more important to save the lives of the innocent villagers, especially for the young bride.

It was clear Atyminus was already in the village. It meant finding the bride, convincing her she was in danger and hoping she would agree to whatever plan they were to come up with.

As it turned out, both father and bride were easy to convince. Even better was the fact Xena knew Atyminus was listening to every word being spoken. It was easy to have Gabrielle play the part and they trap the maniac. It was also easy to dispatch the now mortal and take the helmet of invisibility.

Once again, Xena had to leave her bard behind. First, she had to convince Marcus there was no keeping the helmet. While it sounded good living a life of doing good, it was cheating death. In the long run, made them no better than a man such as Atyminus.

The one thing Xena wasn't going to stand for was Marcus in Tartarus, at least not without being judged once again. It meant returning to the underworld. Another interesting encounter with Charon, another fight with the harpies and she was standing before Hades.

It took less than Xena thought to convince Hades to judge Marcus again. Making it sound as if he was a weakling of a god probably had a great deal to do with that. All gods had an ego. One just had to know how to stroke it.

The most difficult thing in the world would be to never see Gabrielle again. The second was killing Marcus. While he would have died in a matter of time, it was at her blade she wanted him to die.

Why? Because it would show Marcus she loved him enough to let him go. To have made certain he had a chance to be in the Elysian Fields. It was an easy speech that convinced Hades. Seeing Marcus happy, if not alive, was enough of a reward for the warrior princess.

Yet the true reward was when Xena was able to emerge from the lake. When she was able to hold her bard once again. While she would withhold her feelings, for now, she knew there would never be another.

Xena hoped she hadn't hurt Gabrielle when she had said she would never be apart from Marcus. It was with anyone who had affected her so. Lyceus would forever be in her heart. While it was different, it was also the same. Marcus was a person who had affected her life, in the end, in the most positive of ways.

As Xena held her bard, she couldn't help staring into the murky depths of the water. It wasn't so much she was missing Marcus. It was the fact she now knew what she had. Not that she had not known. Now, she had to figure out how she was to make certain she never lost it. Even if it was merely traveling side by side. For eternity.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

There was so much to talk about. Xena knew they had to talk. But what was there to say? If only Gabrielle remembered her confession, it would have made things much simpler. And yet, would it have?

Perhaps it had been a mistake to camp by the lake. Xena had been exhausted from her travel to the underworld. She wasn't even up for fishing or hunting. Luckily, there was rations from the previous village.

Gabrielle was quiet. She was involved in her scrolls. Xena wondered if it were her personal journal or if she was turning this latest adventure into a story. Either way, it was clear her bard was avoiding speaking to her.

"I'm sorry." Xena was stretched out, using her saddle for a pillow. Why was the warrior princess apologizing? She wasn't certain, but it felt like she had to say it. Hopefully, Gabrielle would understand.

"Why are you sorry?" Gabrielle blew on her parchment. She made certain the ink was dry before she cautiously rolled it and placed it into its case. The bard was through, for the evening, attempting to sort through her feelings.

Gabrielle was exhausted. While there had been some physicality to this latest adventure, it was the emotions. It was seeing Xena reconnect with one of her former lovers. And it was watching as the warrior princess chose him over the bard.

"I shouldn't have joked about making it one way or another." Xena rolled onto her back. Looking into emerald eyes was too much for the warrior princess to handle. Besides, she could easily give away the feelings she continued to bury deep within.

That was what Xena was sorry for? Gabrielle sighed. She had hoped they had come further than this. And yet, the way her warrior princess had acted after being injured should have informed her they were nearly back at the beginning.

Not to the point where Gabrielle feared being left behind or sent home. Still, they were returning to where communication was limited. It wasn't something she wanted. It wasn't something she was going to allow to continue.

The bard was now facing her warrior princess. "I know so much happened to us both the past week. Of all that happened, is it really what you are sorry for? Or are you ever going to share with me how you truly feel."

Luckily, Xena had a lifetime of restraining her emotions. Of not truly feeling. It was probably why she had delved so far into the darkness. It was why she had once been called The Destroyer of Nations as killing meant nothing to her.

Yet, this was different. Xena had admitted her feelings. She had told Gabrielle she loved her. That there would never be another for her. If only her bard not fallen and been injured, they could be reveling in their love. If Gabrielle returned her feelings.

"Gabrielle, it's not that simple." Xena managed to look her bard in the eyes. "You know merely traveling with me places you in danger. What would happen if we became more?" It was a hint at her true feelings.

Gabrielle sighed. She wasn't to receive an honest answer. It was disheartening. "I could take that as if you truly loved me. Or I could take it as you don't want it to appear to others we mean more than friends."

Silence reigned over the pair. Gabrielle was frustrated. Worse, she could feel the anger building within. It was time to end this. She wanted to know how her warrior princess felt towards her.

Perhaps tonight wasn't the night. It was too soon after Xena had to confront her feelings for Marcus. It wasn't easy to admit for the bard, but she realized how much Marcus had meant to her warrior princess.

It wasn't merely as a former lover. It was because Marcus had attempted to redeem himself. In a way, Xena had saw something in Marcus she saw in herself. While Xena would never accept redemption, she was attempting to make up for her past atrocities.

"Now I'm the one who should be sorry." Gabrielle cautiously made her way to her best friend. "Whether you love me as a sister or more, it's enough to know that you love me. And that we travel together."

Gabrielle couldn't bring herself to say more. What was the point? Once she had said she knew Xena loved her, the warrior princess had turned away. The love was clearly not what the bard wanted or needed. And that was perfectly all right.

For there was one thing Gabrielle could hold onto. It was what her chronicle had taught her. While she and Xena couldn't verbally admit their feelings, their actions would continually show the other how they felt.

In this case, Xena could have easily remained with Marcus. Yes, there was a chance they would not be in the Elysian Fields together. They could have used the helmet and remained together.

Instead, Xena returned. In fact, she apologized. For what, Gabrielle wasn't certain. At this point, it didn't matter. What did was to hold onto the hope that one day they would be more than friends.

It wouldn't be easy. Pretending to feel less than one never was. Putting on a mask. It was something Gabrielle knew her warrior princess was adept at. It was another reason the bard had hope.

So, while there would be days of darkness and despair, Gabrielle vowed there and then that she would enjoy her life with Xena. That she would revel in the touches and the glances. And the continued adventures they would enjoy. She only hoped the next adventure would be one of comedy. Of fun. Of joy. Her heart couldn't take breaking anymore for anyone.


	17. Chapter 17

From meeting one of Xena's exes to seeking out the king of thieves. It was like making a sharp left turn the meetings were so different. One was painful. The other was a time of seriousness, but also of mirth.

One of the things I learned from that meeting was how unconventional Autolycus truly was. It made for some comical moments in our adventures together. But he also revealed he was more than the king of thieves.

Autolycus would prove that on more than one occasion. I still owe the man a debt I can never repay. I know Xena feels the same way. It was why we could never say no when he asked with an adventure or two.

The only regret with the time was how it placed revealing our feelings back, once again. I know everything happens for a reason, as it should, but there's a part of me that wished we could have had more time together as a couple.

The chakram flies and nearly hits my quill. Is that an indication Xena knows the serious thoughts entering my mind and attempted to distract me? Besides having to make certain my quill is at the ready, her move hasn't taken away my thoughts.

It's part of the process. It's part of the reason I continue with these chronicles. At one time, I had a majority of these words on parchment. When we were frozen for twenty-five years, a majority of them were lost. Will the originals ever resurface?

Once again, I'm distracted. It's easy to do. The life we share now does sometimes get in the way. But mostly, it's the heartache, the grief, the loss, the coming together and the love that overwhelm me.

If this continues, I may have to turn over some of the writing duties to my soulmate. "Not on your life." I was so distracted, I didn't sense Xena behind me. She must have been reading over my shoulder as I attempt to write.

"If I give you the proper motivation, you'll do anything I ask." I wink as Xena's cheeks slightly redden. I don't think she thought I'd actually write those words into the chronicles. She should know better by now.

"Yes I should." Xena leans in and kisses the back of my neck. I'm so content at this moment. It makes all the trials we've had to endure seem like nothing. Ok, mostly nothing. They shaped our lives together. Who we are as individuals.

And having someone like Autolycus in it made us better people. Even if all he ever wanted was to be known as the king of thieves. He especially never wanted anyone to discover his heart of gold.

At a time when I needed it most of all, Autolycus made me believe in joy. Made me know there was joy, amongst the hate and greed in the world. Here's a chapter devoted to the one and only king of thieves.

ROYAL COUPLE OF THIEVES

Out to trap a thief. It wasn't their normal way to operate. But Xena's friends needed assistance. The kind only the king of thieves could provide. While the warrior princess had many skills, thievery wasn't exactly one of them. At least, not on this level.

It was actually quite fun to use a piece of candy to trap the king of thieves. In the sun, it had appeared to be a diamond. If Gabrielle hadn't known, she might have thought it was real. It was a trick Xena had picked up over the years.

Tempting Autolycus with the most valuable object in the world was nearly too easy. He'd perked up and was now more than willing to listen. Or was it merely humor them because of Xena's reputation.

At the mention of Hercules, Gabrielle couldn't help remember. Their lone adventure together. How she had possibly fallen for Iolaus. Though naïve, she hadn't missed the subtle glances, the touches and way Xena had acted around the semi god.

At the mention of the warlord, Autolycus seemed genuinely scared. He said he wasn't, but Gabrielle knew that look. She'd experienced that look. So how were they to receive the man's assistance?

For starters, Gabrielle wasn't about to let on that she knew his hands were untied. It was a part of the plan, for one. If he were a thief, entice him with the thought of gold and jewels. Even Gabrielle wasn't certain what the box contained.

It was always interesting to Gabrielle to find former friends of the ruthless Destroyer of Nations. The latest were a group who sought to protect a weapon. One Xena wasn't even certain exactly what it was.

Gabrielle couldn't help laughing at the sight of Autolycus falling on his face. He hadn't been expecting his bootlaces being tied together. Laughing had been a mistake. The bard needed to stroke the man's ego, not harm it. It was easy by attempting to say he wasn't worthy of his reputation.

After only speaking to him for a short time, Gabrielle knew it would work. At first, she didn't think anyone could be that conceded. But then again, she was still learning about people and how they acted and reacted.

The short trip to Xena's friends was made in mostly silence. Xena was in her own world. Gabrielle wondered if it was merely the focus on the mission, as always, or if it was what was in the back of the bard's mind.

The fact money seemed to be all that drove Autolycus could be a plus or a negative. The promise to get the treasure back was one Gabrielle hoped they could follow through with. If only because it meant so much to her warrior princess.

Sinteres sounded terrifying. Someone ruthless. Someone Gabrielle didn't want to come across. In a way, she was glad she would remain behind. In another, she would miss out on the adventure and would have time to think of what else but their relationship.

Her mind was brought back into preparing for the mission. Both Xena and Autolycus would have to dress the part. Sinteres was known to be a dresser. The ring caught Gabrielle's attention. There was a story behind it. One she figured she knew.

One way the bard could be useful was to take the stories she had heard of Sinteres and provide useful information. After all, Gabrielle remained only slightly skilled when it came to fighting. So words were her weapon.

Three or four days? Gabrielle knew it would be some time she would be on her own, waiting once again. But to hear the words…The bard attempted to focus on the here and now. Making certain her warrior princess had everything she needed before journeying with Autolycus.

And they were off. Gabrielle sighed heavily. She could find an inn to stay at, but dinars were scarce, especially after having to buy supplies for Xena and Autolycus. The bard barely had enough dinars to buy supplies she would need until they returned.

Gabrielle didn't want to be too far from the dock in case something transpired. It was the stable for the bard. The money was just right and she didn't mind the accommodations. Now to attempt a good night's sleep.

Instead, Gabrielle tossed and turned. Images were entering her mind. It was of a short time ago. They were camped, as usual. There was something about a waterfall. Something happened that had Xena panicked.

But when the bard attempted to see for herself what was happening, she couldn't. It was as if she were blindfolded during certain parts of the time. Xena's voice. So caring. So tentative. Her words…

Gabrielle awoke in a sweat. She sighed heavily as she realized it was from the strain of attempting to remember. Another day had begun and it meant keeping busy until Xena returned.

Breakfast was merely cheese and bread. Not much, but it was enough to give the bard energy enough to explore the village. Later, if she was allowed, she would entertain in the local tavern. Any dinars would be appreciated.

As dinnertime was upon them, Gabrielle managed to secure some time at the local inn. The tales were strewn and a few dinars were earned. It was enough until they made it to the next village. Of course, there was the next night.

As part of payment, Gabrielle also received a meal and drink. As she was sitting in the back by herself, she overheard something. The real Sinteres was in town. And he was on his way to confront whoever was impersonating him.

As Gabrielle attempted to seek passage, she was discovered. The pain was unreal. Not only could she tell the tale of what Sinteres was capable of, she was unfortunately living it. And the world went dark.

Though it was fuzzy, Gabrielle was grateful for the vision of Xena when finally she was awakened. She had to apologize for ruining the plans. But she couldn't stand by and not attempt to warn Xena.

At least her warrior princess wasn't too upset. However, Sinteres remained upset. Or was it showing his power? Pressure points were something Gabrielle never thought she'd experience for herself. Already her head was killing her.

Now the wait. To see what trick Xena came up with to get them out of this. It wouldn't be easy. Her life was in danger. They were no closer to achieving their goal. But to watch the mind that was Xena in work was a bonus.

Watching how easily Sinteres killed merely by using the pressure points was terrifying. Gabrielle wondered if her warrior princess knew of all the ways to kill a person. There was the pinch, but to have a heart explode like that…

And the escape was made. Gabrielle was grateful Xena wasn't mad at her. Though her head hurt even more, she knew her warrior was attempting to make her feel better. In time, she would. Just like if she could express her true feelings.

At least Gabrielle was being useful, instead of being left behind. Babysitting villagers didn't seem all that exciting, but at least it kept her out of immediate harm's way. Yet, the bard would worry until Xena was in her sights.

Just when Xena was in her sights, another fight was about to take place. Gabrielle made certain to protect the villagers before worrying about anyone else. When it was Sinteres versus Xena, her sole focus was on her warrior princess.

Though it was interesting, Xena won the day. They still had the rest of the men to defeat. At least the villagers were safe, especially when the box was opened. Xena's warning was cryptic, yet she did as she was told.

Watching the man be incinerated was beyond anything Gabrielle had ever witnessed. It would remain with her until her very last breath. There were many ways to die, but burning from one's own fear was something else.

Finally, the box and the people who would care for it was reunited. Hopefully it was as Xena said. They could care for it. Gabrielle hated to admit it, but some of those rules were ones even she wasn't certain she could abide by.

Like stealing. It wasn't exactly stealing as Gabrielle managed to take the ring from Autolycus. Perhaps one day she would find the rightful owner. Until then, she would keep it safe and sound. Though she felt a little guilty when she realized the reward had been given back.

Now, it was time to face life as the traveling pair. Gabrielle had been too distracted for most of the adventure to truly study her feelings or Xena's behavior. Perhaps that was for the best. Perhaps she should just let things happen in their own time…

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

A distraction. Xena needed it, now more than ever. While she had become an expert at suppressing her feelings, when it came to Gabrielle, it was different. Everything was different because of her bard.

It wasn't only because they traveled the same path. It was because, if Xena allowed for herself to admit it, she and Gabrielle were soulmates. There would be no separating them. In this life, and the many yet to come.

So doing a favor for old friends and chasing down the king of thieves was welcomed, indeed. The banter of the man who was so sure of himself was sweet when Xena managed to trap the man so they could speak.

Gabrielle seemed in better spirits. Perhaps she was truly happy. Or was she becoming as adept at hiding her feelings as the warrior princess was? Xena couldn't think along those lines. It would give her hope that there could one day be more between them than friendship.

One of the ways Autolycus could be enticed in helping them was to present a target any thief would want. The most valuable object in the world. The only problem? Who was placing the value upon the object.

Whether Autolycus realized it or not, tying his hands had dual purposes. One, it ensured he would at least join them at the tavern. Two, it would provide yet another way in which he could prove his reputation was true.

A man such as Autolycus couldn't be trusted. No matter how he presented himself. The moment Hercules was mentioned, Xena could sense her bard stiffen. While there would always be a connection, the warrior princess had never truly been in love with the demigod.

Oh Xena had cared a great deal for him. After all, it was Hercules who had shown her the good she had inside. Who had attempted to show her she was worthy of love. But he wasn't her redeemer. She was sitting beside her.

Was Autolycus afraid as it appeared? Or was it there were ones he was wise enough to not steal from. There was a difference. It was a fine line, but one Xena had learned over the years. And willingly crossed.

Did Autolycus really think he was fooling the warrior princess? Xena knew immediately it was a ruse. It was why she had also taken the precaution of tying the man's bootlaces together.

While the gold and jewels could entice Autolycus, it wouldn't be enough to go against the likes of Malthus. Not even revealing that it was the most powerful weapon in the world would be enough.

A man like Autolycus could only be enticed by one thing. The bottom line. Until he heard what was in it for him, he would not even think about helping them. Even then, would monetary compensation be enough?

Xena had been right. The monetary reward wasn't enough. But proving he was indeed the king of thieves seemed to be just the trick. She was grateful her bard had said what she had. As always, what would she do without her Gabrielle?

Even after hearing the story, Autolycus wanted money. Xena hated that money meant everything to some people. Looking back, it was part of what had driven her. But there had been more to it.

The ultimate assassin. Xena wondered if she could have been known as that if she hadn't seen the light. After all, she could sneak in on The God of War, if she had a mind to. The skill served her well as she attempted to right some of her wrongs.

Even the interaction between Autolycus and Gabrielle regarding the ring caused Xena a small amount of jealousy and envy. To place a ring upon her bard's finger…It could never be. No one could know they were more than friends. Not that that day would ever happen.

Autolycus was right in one regard. Gabrielle was young. And naïve. And looked for the good in everything and everyone. It was her light that made all the difference. Gave Xena the strength she required to face her own inner demons.

Though Xena knew a great deal about Sinteres, she was grateful her bard had stories of her own. It wasn't so much for the information, though it was useful. It was because it made Gabrielle feel useful.

Once again, Xena would undergo the old stereotype which was to be a concubine. Oh for the day when a woman could be more than sexy. Though being thought of as soft was to a warrior's advantage.

Leaving Gabrielle behind once again was not something Xena was looking forward to. At this point, it would be easier to explain an assassin and his assistant. Though there were those that traveled with a harem of sorts.

Yet, Xena needed her distance, at least at times. Once again, as trained as she was at hiding her feelings, there was only so much a person could do. Though Gabrielle could take care of herself, she would be worried constantly about her bard.

As soon as they entered the ship, Autolycus was into playing the role. But was it how he should? After all, the king of thieves wasn't known for his fighting. And Xena could only do so much without the others realizing it.

That included making certain Autolycus wasn't challenged. The repayment? The king of thieves had procured the nonexistent outfit and suggested she wear it. It was a good thing Xena wasn't modest. But she would want her revenge.

Her revenge would have to wait as revenge by another was taking place. It left herself and Autolycus hanging over the side. Luckily, Xena had many skills and was able to rectify the situation. However, it would take a little more for her to rescue herself.

Autolycus was becoming too into the part. It was making things difficult, at best. They would have to have a discussion once they were fully alone. As soon as they were on dry land, they were supposed to remain in their rooms until called for.

Instead of making certain Autolycus behaved, Xena made certain they were on the same page. First things first, they needed to acquire the chest. After that, they would be able to escape. There was one exception to let the king of thieves know he was going too far. Literally flipping him.

The security seemed unbelievable to Xena. Autolycus scoffed at the invisible wires. Hopefully, the king of thieves knew what he was doing. Especially when he suggested a distraction, which entailed her dancing.

Offering her as part of the deal wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Xena didn't mind that part. It was how much Autolycus was enjoying the show. She made certain he knew he'd gone too far, once again.

Of course, they didn't remain in their room. They had work to do. As Xena watched the king of thieves in action, she wondered where her bard was. She hoped Gabrielle was safe. Safer than they were as there were invisible threads and a dead body.

The murder of Malthus complicated things. The fact the ship had already sailed meant they were stuck. Though Autolycus thought otherwise as he was about to flee the island. It would leave Xena on her own because she wouldn't return without the chest in her possession.

The story was true. Xena had been rescued by the people, wanting nothing in return. It was so rare that one came across people such as these. The fact that one of them had died was something the warrior princess could never repay.

Part of her wondered why it hadn't been enough to change her. Why had she attempted such cruelty in her life before realizing there was another way to live? Yes, she was a warrior. But she could fight for right, not for her overwhelming need for revenge.

The story was enough. Autolycus had a story of his own. It wasn't much different from what she had experienced. It was life. Everyone had an experience, or lack thereof, that made one who they were.

Their plan was halted, once again, with the discovery of the chest. Luckily, the guards were inept and were too terrified of Sinteres' reputation to bother searching. It worked well in their favor.

The irony was they had the box. But to get the boat back, they would have to put the box back in its hiding place. It would mean Autolycus would have to work in reverse. It was a challenge and fascinating to watch.

As he worked, Autolycus had to attempt to discover her connection to Hercules. Very few knew just how deep their ties were. She wasn't about to discuss the past with the king of thieves. She barely discussed it with her bard.

In fact, Xena had to deflect otherwise Autolycus wouldn't have kept his mind on the project at hand. It meant the warrior princess would have to distract the way most women distracted, unfortunately.

Luckily, everything worked out. At least for the moment. They still needed to discover who the murderer was and to take possession of the chest. Simple. But then again, nothing was ever simple for Xena.

Though she could be pissed, Xena was actually relieved when she saw Gabrielle. Of course her bard was in danger and that was off putting. At least she was safe. And they could put an end to this charade.

It all happened so fast. Sinteres was revealed. The killer was revealed. The duel happened. But it wasn't much of one. When one knew pressure points, the advantage was theirs. And Sinteres wanted a showdown with the warrior princess.

The escape wasn't a part of the plan, but as always, Xena was able to think on her feet. It meant relieving Gabrielle of her pain, along with saving the villagers from a potentially horrible fate.

Xena's life was more than just like this. Every day was something different. Whether it was action packed or if it was revealing one's love only to have the desired person forget, there was always something.

As they attempted to make things right, Autolycus had to bring up Hercules. Hadn't she made it clear that subject was off limits? While she would always care for the big man, her heart belonged to another.

Autolycus continued to surprise the warrior princess. It wasn't normal. Usually, Xena could read a person like the back of her hand. Yet, there was something different about the king of thieves. Perhaps if they spent more time together, she would discover just what. For now, she was grateful for the aid in escaping.

It was the showdown Sinteres had wished for. Xena could hear her bard quietly cheering for her. Though she would never admit it, it made her want to do more. To be more. To show off for Gabrielle.

After the fatal blow was struck, Xena was under attack. Luckily, Gabrielle was able to help, as was Autolycus. As they continued the fight, the warrior princess could hear how her bard directed everyone to safety.

The power of the chest was intense. Xena was grateful she had discovered the secret. Don't fear the truth. Don't run from it. Stand and embrace it. Was it something she should learn from? Face the her fear that Gabrielle could never return her feelings, even if she did love her?

Returning the chest was the priority now. After hearing some of the rules, Xena had to agree with Autolycus. Some of them were understandable. But others were too much for an average mortal to abide by and impossible for any god she had ever had the displeasure of meeting.

After seeing Autolycus not take any reward for his efforts, Xena knew what it was about the man. While he remained a thief, he still had a heart of gold. He just hated to show it.

Xena couldn't believe she had missed her bard stealing from the king of thieves. Seeing the ring on Gabrielle's finger…Perhaps one day there would be a symbol of their love. Or perhaps it would be the symbol of another's.

It was a thought that angered Xena. It took everything in her power to keep her stoic façade upon her face. The end of an adventure, that had some comical moments, meant it was time to find their next adventure. And it meant traveling together, concealing her true feelings.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"How's your head?" Xena was readying them for a long journey. She wasn't certain how far they would have to go if the pass was blocked. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to discover another path.

"It's almost like I didn't have the pinch placed on me." Before Xena could correct her, Gabrielle laughed. "I know. It wasn't your pinch. But it certainly was painful. I feel for anyone you've had to use it on."

"Why I only use it when absolutely necessary." The fire was smoking just enough for her to smoke some of the fish she had caught. The fishing had been therapeutic, as well as necessary. They hadn't earned anything, but the few meager dinars Gabrielle's stories brought in.

"Maybe one day you can teach me the pinch." The deathly stare Gabrielle received informed her of the answer. "Or maybe just the one that helps when you are using your healing skills."

Xena shook her head. "There's no way I'm teaching you the pinch." The warrior princess checked to see if the fish was smoking as she would like. It was a tenuous procedure, as was keeping her bard at bay.

"There's so much I could learn from you." Gabrielle didn't know where this was coming from. Perhaps it was watching Xena at work battling Sinteres. Perhaps it was the need to be useful.

"And there's so much you have to offer someone. You don't even realize it." The first of the fish was preserved to perfection. There was still several more batches. It would mean camping here for the night and starting at first light.

"I'm a bard who barely knows how to fight with a staff." Gabrielle finished washing the dishes they'd used to cook their main meal. Luckily, there would be no more washing since Xena used stones and leaves to smoke the fish.

"You are better than most fighters with the staff. As far being a bard, your stories and knowledge come in handy." Xena chanced a glance at her bard. How she wished she was as sweet and innocent as Gabrielle.

Gabrielle shrugged. "I've been lucky to read or hear stories. I'm lucky I have these stories in my mind." The bard placed their plates and silverware in the knapsack. It would be at the ready in the morning.

"But what you do, it's what every person dreams of." Gabrielle began the next norm in her routine. She placed each of their bedrolls near the fire. Soon, it would be time to attempt to sleep. It was becoming more difficult to sleep next to her warrior princess.

"Gabrielle, sometimes I wonder what you know of me." Xena rotated the fish. They were cooking faster than she had anticipated. It would mean more time to have to face her bard. More time to deny her feelings, especially vocally.

"No one dreams of being what I became." Xena made certain she was looking her bard directly in the eyes. "While it did start with wanting to protect my village and family, I rapidly grew into something even the darkest of people would not want to be."

In a way, Gabrielle couldn't argue with her warrior princess. Was it part of what kept her from discussing her emotions? Or was it the fear of being rejected? The bard knew it could be easy to walk a path of darkness. But the strength it had taken to leave it all behind…

"They want to be the person you are now." Xena stiffened at her bard's words. "Do you think you could fight as well as you do if not for the dark path you followed? Do you think you could outthink most of your foes if not for the lessons you learned while still attempting to conquer the world?"

Xena sighed heavily. "I understand what you are saying." The warrior princess took the final fish and placed it to cool with the others. In a few moments, she would be able to place them in her knapsack. "But you have to remember, I would give anything to have my brother back."

It was something that wasn't far from Gabrielle's mind. Her family. While she missed her mother and father, she missed her sister most of all. They had had this unique bond. In some ways, she wanted to teach Lila some of the things she had learned from Xena.

The fact Gabrielle hadn't written to her family in so long was another reason she should visit her sister. Right now, they were too far away. There was adventure to be had. And no matter what, Xena would always be her family.

"I understand. If something happened to Lila…" Gabrielle shuddered. If something happened to her sister, it could cause her to want vengeance. She would feel the same if something happened to Xena. Yet, vengeance wasn't the way.

It was with her unusual speed that Xena moved so she was sitting next to her bard. "I understand you think you know the price of vengeance, but you don't. I hope you never go through what I did when I lost Lyceus."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Gabrielle knew she was pushing it. She knew Xena had spoken about her experience. But she had never fully shared everything that had happened. And she knew Cyrene would probably never tell her.

Was this the time? Xena slowly made her way to where the smoked tuna was. She deliberately made certain everything was ready for the morning. For a moment, she stared into the night sky. It was as if she was asking for guidance.

For some reason, Xena could swear she heard a whisper. It was telling her to trust Gabrielle completely. That she needed to know more than the warrior princess was willing to share with her. It was as if someone or something wanted her to let down her guard, even though she knew it could lead to another possible slip.

"The battle was forced upon us." Xena never turned to look at her bard. Instead, she remained staring at the darkening sky. Soon, there would be an untold amount of stars to light the sky. It was to be a chilly, but beautiful night.

"A handful of the villagers had fled for the hills. Some thought fighting was of no use." Xena could feel the emotions. It was as if it was happening once again. "Lyceus and I were different. We'd played warrior so many times over the years. We both had the skill and the minds for warfare, but we were the children of an innkeeper. That's what we were to be."

Finally, Xena took a chance and glanced at her bard. Emerald eyes were wide. She wondered if this would make it into one of Gabrielle's scrolls. "Playing warriors was one thing. But seeing the bloodshed. Knowing those you care about will never be the same again…"

Gabrielle slowly slid closer to her warrior princess. Would Xena finish the tale? Or was it too much remembering what had transpired? The bard eagerly awaited whatever tidbits her soulmate gifted her with.

"When I brought Lyceus to mother, I'll never forget the words. I'll never forget the expression." Xena stiffened. "It's why I'll never be worthy of redemption. And why you need to cherish your family. Promise you'll always cherish your family."

"I promise." Gabrielle placed an arm around her friend's waist. "Just know I think of you as family. So that means I will cherish you with the last breath I take." The bard almost had said more. Had said what Xena truly meant to her.

Instead, Gabrielle had managed to hold her tongue. Would she look back on this moment and regret it? Already, she regretted not telling Xena she was in love with her. It was too late. Perhaps it was time to visit her family. Not her true family, as Xena was as much a part of her true family as her sister and parents.

Xena blushed. She was glad the fire would hide the coloring of her cheeks. It was a moment when the warrior princess could confess her feelings once again. Instead, she held her bard as they watched the embers die down.


	18. Chapter 18

I didn't make many trips home. As some will have gathered from my scrolls, home is not necessarily a place. For me, wherever Xena was, I was home. But to visit Lila was a rarity. Something I regret.

The separation wasn't exactly timing. Yet, I had been doubting myself. While I was confused by my feelings towards Xena, I was, as always, worrying about my usefulness. A bard is only so knowledgeable and my prowess with the staff was still growing.

So why take a break and venture home? I said a hurtful thing when I said to Xena sometimes you need to be around family. That I could talk more easily with Lila. While it was a time when we were still learning to communicate properly, it was a slap to Xena's face.

I remember the expression upon Xena's face. I wished I'd said what I had differently. Regrets. We all have them. This is one of mine. Even wording something differently could make all the difference in the world.

One thing I learned from my time in Poteidaia was the fact I'd learned more than I could have ever thought from my soulmate. Sometimes merely observing someone is more invaluable than sitting being taught.

I was learning from the best warrior in the known world. I was lucky. Yet, my confidence in myself wavered. I can't explain it. Was it the way I was raised? The village as a whole? Or was it no one, besides my mother, had encouraged me.

When leaving Poteidaia to follow Xena, Lila had made fun of me saying she could beat me up. While it was true, it had hurt. It was as much what affected me as anything not having the self confidence in myself.

I'm off topic once again, but only slightly this time. After all, the events of the past, whether distant or more recent, affect us. They leave a mark on us. It's part of why I needed to return home. It's why I needed to learn home is where the heart is. Again.

THE PRODIGAL

Playing the flute was not something Gabrielle normally did. In fact, she hadn't played one since Lila was young. Her sister had been full of energy as a youth. Sometimes the only way to calm her was with music.

Gabrielle wasn't even certain why she was playing the flute. It was annoying Argo that's for certain. It was probably annoying Xena, not that the warrior princess would admit that.

What had made Gabrielle think of Orpheus? It was the music. It was wanting to be more than she was. To be useful, in anyway possible. The insecurity was unreal. Where was this coming from?

Was it because Gabrielle had been kidnapped and nearly foiled Xena's plan once again? It couldn't be because she was afraid the warrior princess would leave her behind somewhere. Or was it?

Before Gabrielle could truly think about the reasons why, another bad guy was blocking their path. He was making it clear they were wanted for their bodies. It was a disturbing thought indeed.

After watching Xena easily dispatch the men, Gabrielle found herself frozen. The men were using the wagon as a weapon. All she had to do was lie on her back. She heard Xena's warnings, yet she couldn't move. Why?

The men were like true cowards and ran off after their wagon was shattered. Gabrielle stood frozen, staring at the splintered wagon. It could so easily have been her that had been shattered. If it weren't for Xena once again saving her…

Was she all right? Gabrielle was far from all right. Once again, she had done something that had placed them both in danger. She had made Xena think quick on her feet. While she knew there was a part of the warrior princess that loved to improvise, she hated herself for once again placing them both in great danger.

Xena was correct in saying they'd been in tighter spots. But the fact was, Gabrielle had frozen. There was no great danger, not really. Yet, she had not been able to act. Why?

The warrior princess shrugged it off saying everyone freezes. Xena doesn't. How could she understand what the bard was dealing with?

Act don't react. It sounded simple. Gabrielle should have been able to act. But she wasn't able to even react. The fact Xena couldn't understand…

No, Gabrielle couldn't continue to place Xena in danger. Not until she discovered why she had not been able to react. It was tearing her apart to not be with her warrior princess, but she needed distance.

For once, it wasn't even because she was in love with Xena. For once, Gabrielle needed someone who had known her since the beginning. So why had she said family? They'd both said they were one another's family.

The worse part of all was the fact Gabrielle didn't know if she were to return. She loved Xena with every breath she took, but if she couldn't figure things out, she couldn't be with the warrior princess.

The tone of voice and the expression on Xena's face was heartbreaking. It was beyond words. Gabrielle only hoped she was doing the right thing. Now, to find a way back home. To her sister. To the people who had known her the longest.

Gabrielle hadn't been ready for how long a voyage it would be. At times, she lost track of exactly where they were they traveled so far and wide. The fact the map wouldn't fold was infuriating.

What Gabrielle had to do just to get a ride. Her last resort wasn't one she was exactly proud of. What were the odds that the same man who had given her a ride when she first sought Xena would be the man who would give her a ride now.

A walk through the woods reminded Gabrielle of how many times she and Lila would go exploring as children. Though most of the time hard work was their childhood, there were times of play. And exploring the forest was one of those ways.

Nothing could have prepared Gabrielle for what she come upon. A man burying his wife and his son. All because some greedy warlord killed without thought. How was the man even able to function?

How Gabrielle had wanted to stay and comfort the man, though there was probably no comfort to be had. Her home village was in trouble. If there was anything she could do to help, she had to hurry.

Gabrielle wasn't ready for a big surprise. After all, she wasn't expected. So it was old news that Damon and his men were on their way to Poteidaia. The surprise wasn't for the bard. It was for the famous Meleager.

It had hurt how Lila brushed off Gabrielle's appearance. What was worse was how she had asked for the woman wonder. Yet, the bard knew Xena was the fighter and mastermind. Still…

Meleager showed up just as they were arguing over his feat. Which was to have killed a quarter of a thousand men. While it was in defense of others, the number was quite staggering. And sickening.

But not as sickening as the fact Meleager was dead drunk. Somehow, Gabrielle and Lila were roped into taking care of the passed out warrior. Why? Because the bard was friends with Xena.

But Gabrielle had no experience taking care of someone who had abused alcohol. True, Xena enjoyed her port as much as the next warrior, but she new her limits. Plus, she knew she couldn't allow herself to completely let go. She always had to be on edge.

Once again, Lila was verbally smacking the bard. Something was happening, but Gabrielle couldn't understand just what. True, she had been gone longer than she had planned. But to be as cold as Lila was now?

Meleager was more than an embarrassment. Gabrielle could do better seeing the condition of the warrior. Belching as he's introduced. Saying how thirsty he was. It was beyond anything the bard had witnessed to date.

Money? Was that what was driving Meleager? Gabrielle held her tongue. She knew if she were to say Xena would never work for money or be drunk or any of the behaviors on display, Lila would most likely say something about not being there for her and her real family.

Wow. A meat skewer was more reliable than Gabrielle? Lila truly was angry the bard had remained away so long. It wasn't the time, but they truly needed to speak. It was why she had returned. It was why she had wanted to make things right.

Just as they were about to possibly begin truly communicating, some of Damon's men were spotted. They had to come up with a makeshift plan. Dangling the still unconscious Meleager was not easy. But it was effective. For now…

Lila was right, to an extent. People needed something to fight for. They needed the courage to fight, even if it was for their very lives. Gabrielle had seen it before. It was part of the story of her warrior princess.

Meleager definitely would be surprised at just how much Gabrielle knew. How much she had seen. While she had been born and raised on a farm, she had traveled with the warrior princess for how long now.

After listening to Meleager go on, it suddenly hit Gabrielle. It wasn't that Meleager wasn't a warrior. It wasn't that he wasn't brave. It was simple and terrifying. Meleager had lost his edge and used alcohol to numb the sensation.

Even with all the pain, violence and blood Meleager had been witness to, there had to be a better way of drowning out the memories. But then, Gabrielle hadn't any need to drown out any memories.

When sober, it was amazing how on the same page Meleager and Gabrielle thought. Without realizing it, the bard was showing just how much she and Meleager had in common. And that was because of Xena.

Gabrielle didn't have time to explain what she and Meleager had planned. Yet, the jealousy was obvious. Had the bard chosen Xena over her own sister? Clearly that's what Lila thought all this time.

Had Gabrielle come home for good? She wasn't so certain. What she was certain of was that she had to set the record straight. She had to make Lila see that it wasn't always easy to remain in touch.

But Gabrielle could understand the fact it would seem like she was ignoring her past. There had been how many times when she had wanted to come home. If only so she could distance herself from the warrior princess and her feelings for her.

Once again, it was with ease that Gabrielle took charge. While she would have loved Lila to accompany her, it would be easier for one to go after Meleager and hopefully save him. She was entrusting Lila with the most important task of all. Making certain the people of their village didn't lose hope.

Why was it every time Gabrielle was captured or worse? Meleager was in danger, true, but he most likely could have gotten out of the situation himself. Or maybe it was advantageous that she had arrived.

Luckily, Meleager thought fast on his feet. It was insulting, yet Gabrielle knew it was a very valid way to entice someone to go against his beliefs. Still, it was chilling as she was tossed into the tent.

It took a moment for them to come up with a plan. It was a simple one. Make it sound like Meleager was mighty in every sense of the word. It lulled the guards into a sense of ease. It made taking them out simple.

Taking care of the horses would slow down Damon and his men, but only for so long. There was much to be done and little time to do it in. Gabrielle only hoped they could accomplish half of what Xena would do.

With Meleager in the village, they had that warrior. Though when he had said Gabrielle was a warrior, she couldn't agree with him. The village needed him, not her.

Preparations were made. All was ready. Gabrielle decided now was the time. She could have a discussion with Lila. She hadn't meant to startle her sister or make her feel bad. Just wanted to spend actual time with her.

As they had prepared, Gabrielle had watched her sister. It was amazing how much Lila had grown as a person. She was as take charge as the bard had ever been. It was something she had to tell her she had witnessed.

Gabrielle hated to hear Lila speak about herself that way. But it was how the bard had felt and why she had chosen to follow Xena. A chance meeting in a clearing forever changed Gabrielle's life.

It was true. Gabrielle realized why she needed to come home. It wasn't about freezing during a battle that placed herself and Xena in danger, though that was a part of it. It was the connection she had with Lila. And had been missing all these months.

Xena would be proud of how Gabrielle and the others responded to Damon's men. Of course, they all had to be convinced as Meleager had disappeared. Hearing Lila describe her had the bard nearly in tears.

The villagers were able to use tricks taught by the warrior princess. It had gone smoothly. The only problem? With or without Meleager, they would return. They would keep returning.

Pharis was a coward. Though in some ways, Gabrielle could understand why the village elder wanted to work with Damon. It was true taking them by surprise was one thing. Having to truly fight would not be easy.

Timing was everything. As if it were Xena coming to the rescue, Meleager arrived just in time. He managed to save Gabrielle, just like the warrior princess would have. It was fun to watch him at work. But not as much fun as watching Xena.

The best part was how Gabrielle could help. Act don't react. It was one of the last things Xena had attempted to teach her. Not that she hadn't been missing her the entire time, it was just being able to use her teachings…

It was as if Lila could read her mind. Gabrielle didn't want to leave. She wanted to remain. And yet, her place was at Xena's side. They had so many adventures left together. Perhaps, the greatest adventure of all to be had.

Wise words from Lila. Gabrielle's life was on the road. But it wasn't merely that. It was the fact Xena was her soulmate. Perhaps one day one would have the guts to inform the other the depths of their feelings.

Until then, Gabrielle hoped to keep her promise. She would visit every so often and definitely would write more often. It was what family did, was it not? Love one another and allow them to live the lives they were destined to.

It was as if Gabrielle was back to the beginning. Well, the beginning of their latest adventure. Instead of freezing, she acted. It felt natural as she catapulted herself over the wagon. Still, she was outnumbered.

But Xena arrived just as things looked the darkest. Gabrielle was grateful for the timing and seeing her warrior princess once again. It was as if a part of her had been missing. She hadn't known it until reuniting with Xena.

Gabrielle was bubbly. Why? Not only was she walking next to her warrior princess, Xena had been heading towards the village to see how things were working out. Instead of becoming mushy, things became a joke of sorts.

It was how they stepped into the roles they had become accustomed to. Stepping outside of them was something that might never happen. Yet, in her heart, Gabrielle knew one day she would be able to be more to Xena than merely a cherished traveling companion.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena noticed how her bard was in high spirits. Was it interacting with the King of Thieves? Or was it something else? With Gabrielle, one couldn't always tell. But the music she was playing was adorable, if not getting on her nerves.

The warrior princess had to laugh as Argo made it known she wasn't thrilled with the bard's flute playing. But when she made it sound like she could be anything like Orpheus, Xena cringed.

It wasn't at the thought of Gabrielle wielding such power. It was the reminder of Orpheus. How she hated it. What she had done. The battle was her own doing. It had cost yet another innocent their life.

Luckily, Xena was distracted by another round of ruffians. The kind that wanted your money and to misuse the opposite sex. It didn't take much to dispatch them. Unfortunately, the warrior princess was staring down a moving target.

That target was moving at a great deal of speed towards her bard. Xena called out but Gabrielle froze. The warrior princess managed to knock them both to the ground, without hurting Gabrielle.

The men ran off leaving a shaken bard behind. Why had Gabrielle frozen? So far, the bard had acted, not reacted. Xena made certain she knew that was the secret. Yet, her bard would not believe her.

Or was it couldn't believe her? Xena was hurt when Gabrielle said she needed family. Hadn't it been established family didn't necessarily mean blood. There wasn't anything the warrior princess wouldn't do for her bard.

Watching Gabrielle walk away reminded Xena of her adventure alone last time. She hadn't confided in Gabrielle what had happened while the bard was off at her competition. So much had happened.

Yet, it had happened in the blink of an eye. Xena had acted. She had helped a stranger who was being attacked by some unknown assailant for an unknown reason. It had left a man with a sword through the chest. Xena never did know what had happened to the man.

Perhaps one day she would discover. Until then, Xena had to keep herself occupied. There was always helping another in need. Would that be enough to distract the warrior princess?

As Xena traveled, she found herself navigating towards her bard's home village. It wasn't surprising. There was something about the bard. It had been the same when Gabrielle had been in Athens. Xena had found herself in the direction of the academy.

It was rather boring without Gabrielle. While Xena was a trouble magnet, it seemed her bard was even more so. Was it the fact the bard had such a zest for life? She craved adventure so that she could write about it?

At a village not far from Potidaea, Xena heard a tale of a village under attack by a warlord. It wasn't Potidaea, but it could mean the warlord, some unknown by the name of Damon, was attempting to make a name for himself with Gabrielle's home village.

Now the pull to return to where Xena had last seen Gabrielle was stronger than ever. In fact, the warrior princess moved with speed and grace. She left Argo behind so she could get the drop on the bad guys.

Timing was everything, as usual. Xena arrived just in time to witness Gabrielle vaulting over the cart. It was something to behold. In fact, it was something the warrior princess would have to keep in mind in the future.

While Gabrielle could handle herself in a fight, it was time Xena made her presence known. It was with ease she took out those attempting to harm her bard. Things were returning to some semblance of normal.

Unfortunately, that normal would mean Xena would have to hide her feelings. It was easy when Gabrielle joked about things. To make it into something of a comedy was a way to make it easy on the warrior princess.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

There was so much running through Gabrielle's mind. She had returned home. She had helped stop a warlord. More importantly, she had reconnected with Lila. And learned her little sister wasn't so little anymore.

Having spoken of Xena so often as they planned on ways to fight off Damon and his men had kept Gabrielle from thinking too much. The traveling there had given her some time to reflect. But it wasn't the same as constantly having her thoughts being invaded by the warrior princess.

Now, they were walking side by side. They were on their way to the next adventure. Gabrielle was exhausted. It wasn't so much from the physical exertion as it was the emotional. She hadn't even realized how homesick she truly was.

That being said, Gabrielle had been just as homesick not having Xena by her side. It was a double edged sword, in a way. What it meant was she had to be more diligent in keeping in contact with her family, especially Lila.

That was the thing that had Gabrielle so quiet. Her parents hadn't been home. They had been traveling to sell some of their goods. It showed how much Lila had grown if her father trusted her home alone.

Xena wasn't certain what to think of her quiet companion. Before Gabrielle had ventured to her home village, she had been talkative and had been annoying with the flute. Now, she was barely acknowledging the warrior princess.

It was simple. Gabrielle had been home. Xena remembered what it had been like to leave Cyrene behind. Though it had been a painful reunion, in the end, her mother had forgiven her.

Leaving had been the most difficult thing Xena had ever done. Even more difficult than when she had returned to Amphipolis to face her past. As Draco had said, sometimes people won't allow you to change.

There's also how easy it is to believe the bad stuff. Xena hoped Gabrielle was all right. The warrior princess should ask how her bard was handling being home. The story was probably aching to be told.

"So, what exactly happened while you were home?" Xena kept her gaze forward. The sun wasn't even close to setting. They had at least two more hours of daylight left, before they would have to seek a campsite.

"I met a living legend." Gabrielle didn't know how else to put it. The stories of Meleager were known far and wide. It would be shocking if Xena hadn't heard of the warrior.

"Do tell." Xena knew she was opening a bag of fish. But the silence was becoming too great for the warrior princess. It was the worst thing she had experienced each time she had been separated from Gabrielle. The known world shattering silence.

"Ever heard of Meleager the Mighty?" Xena couldn't help looking at her bard. "I thought you might have." This was the interesting part. "He wasn't exactly what I thought he would be."

It didn't take Xena long to read between the lines. Either Meleager had lost a step or he had been driven to what some old warriors are driven to. Drinking or some other way of suppressing the images imprinted on one's mind. "How so?"

Gabrielle didn't want to offend Xena or imply it could happen to her. But she had to tell her warrior princess of her experience. "When I first met him, he was drunk. It became clear he couldn't function without drinking."

"Sadly, it happens to the best of warriors." Xena took a deep breath. "When I was a warlord, I drank more than I should have. Though I had a lust for blood, even I sometimes had trouble stomaching all that I did."

It was the last thing the bard thought her warrior princess would confess. "It was that way for Meleager. Having your death counts retold couldn't have been easy. After all, it's how most value how amazing a warrior one is."

"I was in that class, once upon a time." Xena wished the sun would sink faster. She could then escape to training or hunting or whatever else presented itself. These were the emotions, along with her feelings for her bard, Xena would prefer to avoid.

"I know." Gabrielle remembered the lesson well. And she had witnessed those attempting to be the one who killed Xena. "I really do hope there is one day when war isn't necessary. That we can talk through our differences."

"It would be nice." Xena was certain it would never happen in her lifetime. Oh, there were times when talking through things had happened already in their travels. But to become the norm…?

"That would mean there would need to be more like me in the world." Gabrielle couldn't help giggling. She wasn't certain Xena could handle more than one of her. She wasn't certain she would be able to handle more than one of herself.

Xena halted in her steps. She turned towards her bard. "Gabrielle, there is no one in the known world like you. While you can fight and defend, you always choose your words. You would rather see peace than you would anything else."

Gabrielle swallowed. She hadn't been fishing for a compliment. She hadn't even been thinking along the lines that there could be more than one of herself. The expression on Xena's face and the tone of her voice caused the bard to blush ever so slightly.

"Just like there can be no one like you." Gabrielle continued the way they had been headed. "Except lookalikes. After all, there is Princess Diana."

The warrior princess shook her head. What were the odds of another woman looking like her? Xena hoped they would never come across another. "That's true. But she's far from me."

Just like that, things became serious for Gabrielle. No one was like her warrior princess. Having been away from Xena for so long, why couldn't she say to her warrior princess she was in love with her?

They continued to walk in silence until Gabrielle's stomach made itself known. She hadn't eaten much, as there weren't many supplies in her home village and they hadn't taken time to eat before making their way to their next adventure.

"I smell water." Xena didn't know the area all that well. "I think if we head to the east, we can find water and shelter." The warrior princess was ready to settle in for the night. She sensed a change in her bard.

It was the change that often came after emotions were hinted at. This was yet another way to prolong not having to face what expressing their love for one another would mean. Including how dangerous it could be for Gabrielle to be known as her lover.

It wasn't long before they were settled next to a rather large lake. There was a waterfall. It reminded Xena of the one Gabrielle had been injured. The time when she had confessed her love, but there was no memory of her words.

Just like that, Xena was in a mood. She attempted not to show it. But she knew her stoic face would invite some kind of inquisition by her bard. Or would she be lucky enough that Gabrielle would want to begin the story of her own adventure.

As it happened, Gabrielle was already settling on her own bedroll. Xena made quick work of fishing. The bard took a moment to cook the fish her warrior princess had caught before returning to her writing.

Instead of remaining up because she was conflicted, Gabrielle was awake because of the story. For once, she was the hero, sort of. Though she would give Meleager the credit, if not for the bard…

Surprisingly, there were soft snores from the other bedroll. While Gabrielle had written, Xena had slept. It wasn't normal. But then again, the bard was realizing something. No matter whether they traveled as friends or lovers, one thing was for certain. There was no such normal. And she would enjoy every second with her true family.


	19. Chapter 19

My head still hurts when I think of how I felt when I finally recovered from the henbane. I don't know if I ever fully recovered from my embarrassment. I came so close to letting slip how I felt about Xena.

Not that that would have been the end of the world. In fact, it would have saved a great deal of heartache. As I've said before in these chronicles, things happen for a reason. I have to believe that.

Otherwise, how can I live with the death of Perdicus. I have to live with the blood of so many on my hands. Some innocent, some not so much. The one that will forever haunt me is the sweet man from Potidaea.

In our travels, we've discovered that some things can be changed. Like when Xena told me the story of her wish and the life I would have lived. While it spared her brother's life, so many more were affected in a negative way, including her mother.

There was the oddity that should have changed everything. The threads of fate were changed by one man. It was meant to keep us apart. Yet, we found one another. We righted what Caesar had attempted to wrong for his own gain.

Then there was the most painful of times, at least for Xena. She was cursed or gifted with seeing our fate. Seeing us both on the cross. We weren't able to change fate that time.

I have to pause. As I'm thinking of something that saddens me, Xena is by my side. She is offering something warm to drink. The temperatures are dropping. But we are in our hut with all the warmth and love in the world.

Still, a little comfort, such as hot cider, is something my warrior princess would offer. Before Xena can say it, I write it. Yes, later there will be a more pleasurable way to remain warm. It has her blushing, oh so slightly.

All this because I remember exactly how close I came to telling Xena I loved her. That I was in love with her. The only question I would have had if I had informed her? Would my warrior princess have believed me or would she have thought it would be because of the henbane?

What it boils down to is another adventure where we nearly discovered our feelings for one another. There were too many like that. Until my last breath, I will regret waiting so long. But I've come to accept that our journeys were not about merely our love for one another.

Though it made fighting nearly every day of our lives tolerable, our journeys were about the people we helped. They were about the good we could do. They were about fighting for a better world.

And when one man is seeking power at the cost of poisoning his own father, we stood up. We fought the best we could. And did it side by side, as we continue to do. And will, until there is no breath in us.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

To most, a fishing lesson would include a pole or net. Not when you are learning from the warrior princess. Xena's many skills included using her hands to catch fish. Gabrielle was a willing student.

Gabrielle couldn't help feeling elated when Xena praised her. And when she had actually caught the fish with her bare hands? It was something she would soon never forget.

The sensation didn't last long. There was trouble. With only a glance, they both were acting. Xena didn't care if anyone saw her in all her glory. In fact, it could be used to her advantage. Gabrielle on the other hand hastily made quick work of dressing and seeing that the young man was safe.

There was the usual fight, but Xena had to use special weapons to keep things interesting. These men were half decent fighters. But why were they after the young boy? Fighting them off was the first priority. Then they could learn the young boy's name and why anyone would want to harm him.

Finally, the one in charge of the boyhunt emerged. The way he spoke to Xena was…There was something Gabrielle instantly disliked and distrusted about the man.

As always, Xena used her wit to succinctly put the man in his place. At the same time, she made certain the young boy knew he was safe. The use of maternal instinct was quite surprising to the bard.

The man wouldn't go without a warning. What was worse was discovering why the young boy was being hunted. Who would be capable of sacrificing a young child? Gabrielle nearly lost the contents of her stomach when he confided it was his own father.

It became even more disturbing when Icus revealed it was his own brother who had been hunting him. Nothing made sense, at least to Gabrielle.

Religion. Zealots. It was disturbing what some would do to prove their faith and devotion to one of the Gods. Gabrielle had prayed to various Gods, especially Aphrodite. But she would never even think of sacrificing another for a God.

Gabrielle lost track of her warrior princess as Icus continued to explain what he thought was happening with his mother and father. Leave it to Xena to have a cave where the wounded men from her army would seek shelter.

Before Xena even said anything, Gabrielle knew what was to happen. The warrior princess would confront Icus' family to see what kind of people could do this to their child while the bard cared for the young boy.

It took a moment to settle, if you could call it that, after Xena had left. Gabrielle wasn't blind to how worried Icus was. Hopefully one of her rousing stories would help to distract the young man.

Instead, Icus became even more lost in thought. It was clear once Gabrielle made the story completely unbelievable that the young man could not be distracted by words.

Meaning only to continue distracting Icus, Gabrielle's stomach once again seemed to overpower her. She hadn't meant to take the supplies Icus' mother had lovingly packed for him. But it had been since her last adventure home that she had enjoyed nutbread.

How had Gabrielle wound up on the floor of the cave? She could hear Xena's voice, but everything was fuzzy. And the bard couldn't see a thing.

Open her eyes? Why hadn't Gabrielle thought of that? Leave it to her warrior princess to be so intelligent. In fact, it was clever of Xena to notice she wasn't standing and to aid her to her feet.

As soon as Gabrielle was standing, she was looking into the face of a Goddess. Xena was the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on. It was easy to tell the warrior princess just that. If Xena hadn't gone on about being drugged or something, the bard might have confessed how much she loved Xena.

Why was Xena so concerned that Gabrielle walk? After all, the bard had been walking from a very early age. Not about walking? About Icus? Where was the young lad? Oh Gods, Gabrielle had lost Icus!

Hopefully Xena was correct that Icus was safe. What did the nutbread have to do with anything? Gabrielle already felt guilty for taking food from a growing boy. Why did her warrior princess have to torment her so?

Charge! Gabrielle needed all her recruits to help find Icus. But why did Xena want her and her cohorts to remain? Oh! So the bard and the others could work on their song. After all, the altos had been a little flat as of late.

Clear? Not really. Even being fuzzy around the edges, Xena was the most beautiful woman Gabrielle had ever had the privilege of seeing. And better yet, she traveled alongside the warrior princess.

Why were the others so stiff? Music was about enjoyment. It was about entertaining. Gabrielle had a lot of work cut out for her if she were to shape them into a decent choir.

While not perfect, everything was coming together. Gabrielle hadn't realized how destined she was to lead a choir. It was so much fun. But there was something not exactly right. What could it be?

That was when one of her singers said something. There were too many voices to hear clearly. Once she did, Gabrielle had to agree. It was time to locate her warrior princess.

There were a few wrong turns, as it always seemed there was for Gabrielle. Even when she had returned to Potidaea, the bard had had to use the map just to remain on course.

Perhaps, one could say the same thing when it came to Gabrielle's relationship with Xena. They would remain friends, of that there was no doubt. If she had faith, they would become more. She would merely have to remain on course.

Gabrielle happened upon the hut. The strange lady was nice, if not confused. When Xena took a firm hold of her, the bard was grateful. But why wouldn't her warrior princess believe her that a gravelly voiced rock had spoken to her?

No matter what she did, Gabrielle couldn't sit still. She had to be on the move. That's when she found herself at the point of a knife once again. It was because the man they'd met at the lake wanted Xena to concede.

That wouldn't happen. Neither would Xena allowing her to go anywhere. Gabrielle thought the times for remaining behind while her warrior princess did the fighting was coming to an end. Apparently not.

Quality time together. Gabrielle hadn't expected it to be so intimate. And with their lives hanging in the balance, literally. Luckily, Xena was strong and was holding them both from falling to their doom.

Don't let go of Xena's hand? In a moment of clarity, Gabrielle knew that meant so much more to her. It wasn't a revelation. It was merely the drugs beginning to wear off, thankfully.

As Xena continued to do all the work, Gabrielle wondered what was happening. She vaguely remembered the cavern. She vaguely remembered being held at knifepoint. But everything else was fuzzy.

The pounding of her head was explained by being drugged. Had Gabrielle taken the drug willingly? Or had she accidentally ingested it?

It wasn't only Gabrielle's head that was ailing. It wouldn't take much for the bard to become physically ill. There was, unfortunately, far too much to do.

Gabrielle was saddled with trying to obtain the loud talking thing Mael was using to drive his father to kill his brother. Why was one man so jealous of his youngest sibling?

It was an impossible task. Just when Gabrielle thought she'd retrieved the device, it slipped through her grasp. Unless she had Xena's whip, there was no way of recovering it. The only thing to do was join her warrior princess.

Luckily, Icus had been saved. But how? Since Gabrielle hadn't retrieved the loud talking thing, who could have spoken? Who could have saved Icus?

The bard wasn't certain which was more intriguing. The thought of one true God or who spoke. If there was a God at play, whether the one true one, then it would explain a few things.

It seemed Xena was at a loss, as much as Gabrielle was. It would be something they could discuss, perhaps, to continue to avoid their growing feelings.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena was enjoying herself. It was a rarity, it seemed. While she loved traveling with her bard, there was always fighting. Fighting for the greater good. Fighting for those that can't fight for themselves. Most importantly, fighting her own feelings toward Gabrielle.

Watching as Gabrielle attempted to do as she was taught caused Xena to smile. Or how excited her bard was when she finally caught a fish with her hands. Or was it the fact neither was dressed and they had this particular lake to themselves.

Or so Xena had thought. Just after Gabrielle had done as she had been taught, there was a commotion. With a nod, Xena dove under the water while her bard made it for the shore.

One thing Xena had learned a long time ago was how to make an entrance. Whether it was alone or with her army, she had learned first impressions could be everything. Or distracting.

It caused the man attempting to take a young boy against his will to pause. The water gliding from her naked body as dark hair clung to her skin was probably a sight to behold.

It was enough for the man to release his grasp. Hopefully Gabrielle already had the boy somewhere safe. Soon, there were more of them to fend off. Using the string of fish, Xena was able to defeat the men.

The authority in the voice alone informed Xena the latest man to enter the fray thought he was in charge. At least enough so that the men stopped fighting. Who was he to decide it was not her concern when grown men attacked a young boy? It was definitely the warrior princess' business when armed men were after a young boy.

There was a part of Xena that nearly flinched. The use of maternal instinct was…Even Gabrielle had no inkling of Xena's offspring. Her own mother didn't know she had a grandchild. And that was the way it had to remain.

Xena nearly lost her cool when Icus informed them of why his brother and his men wanted the young boy. What kind of God would order the sacrifice of a young boy to prove one's faith? Especially one's own child?

The warrior princess was definitely ready to discover all she could about Icus' father and family. Surely his mother would not condone such actions.

At least Icus' mother had attempted to warn him and help him escape. The only problem? His mother probably wouldn't be able to help him further.

If Xena was as aware of her surroundings as she normally was, the cave she had sheltered her wounded men was nearby. It took only a moment for her to find it. It would make a perfect place for Icus and Gabrielle to hide out until she returned from a little information gathering.

It didn't take long to find father and son. It was clear Anteus wasn't well. It was even clearer that Maell was attempting to rule his father. He was definitely hiding something.

At least Anteus sounded concerned when he realized Xena had his youngest son. It was different than how his oldest son had reacted, adding to her natural dislike of Maell.

If Anteus didn't want to kill his son, why? Xena had heard of the Gods requiring much from their followers. But taking the life of an innocent? And Anteus, even hating it, going along with it?

Xena had to leave the father/son duo with a warning. There had better be a change of heart or Icus would remain with her. It wouldn't be ideal to have a young boy traveling with them, but it would be safer than leaving him with his own family. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.

As Xena made her way back to Gabrielle and Icus, it was fitting she would find Icus' mother praying to one of the Greek Gods. It made sense. Hestia, the Goddess of home and family, would be where a mother sought comfort.

The warrior princess listened. It wasn't that long ago Anteus would never had agreed to sacrifice his son. It wasn't until Anteus was ordered to break with tradition and name Icus as his successor that he changed.

Already, Xena had had an inkling there was more to Maell than claiming to do the wishes of his God. There was anger. Now it was clear there was also jealousy. Especially if Maell knew of the order.

There was more as Icus' mother continued. Anteus had become secretive. He had been acting strangely. The way she pleaded with the warrior princess had Xena knowing she couldn't not help this family.

It was best not to be seen with Xena. Before the warrior princess disappeared, she heard the pleadings of a mother. Nutbread? The kind her bard loved so much. Nothing more was said when it was revealed Maell had made the loaf specifically for his father.

Xena's fears were coming true as she discovered Gabrielle on the floor of the cave. If the situation weren't so serious, it could very well be amusing.

In fact, the warrior princess was having all she could do to not smile as Gabrielle claimed not to be able to see. Drugging was confirmed as the bard didn't realize she wasn't standing.

Attempting to discover Icus' whereabouts was not easy with a drugged bard. It was clear Xena would have to leave Gabrielle behind and search for the young boy.

The way in which Gabrielle had exclaimed just how beautiful Xena was had the warrior princess wondering. She had known the bard cared for her. Perhaps even attracted to her. Yes, even in love with her.

But the emphatic way in which Gabrielle had said those words…Xena had to work to focus on the real challenge ahead, which was saving Icus from all threats.

It wasn't easy leaving Gabrielle behind, especially the way in which the bard was behaving. Hopefully she would remain in the cavern. It was the safest place for Gabrielle.

It took a little doing, but Xena found Icus. She managed to keep the young boy from harm. It wasn't long before they were on their way, only to find Anteus.

The voice was overpowering. Xena wasn't certain where it had come from. There was no way it was a God. For now, she had to see to Anteus. He needed rest.

Xena couldn't help the verbal jab. No, she didn't think much of any kind of people that would allow the sacrifice of a child. After all, she had given up everything, just so her own son would be safe.

The fact Anteus continued to struggle with his faith and decision to sacrifice spoke volumes of the man. Still, Xena couldn't allow for the man to kill his own son. The confession that there was a part of Anteus that hoped she succeeded was the one that spoke volumes.

They made it to the hut. Xena was grateful to find Icus' mother safe. Her concern for both son and husband were crystal clear. And sadly, was necessary.

Of course, Gabrielle wouldn't have remained in the cavern. Recovering from being drugged or sober, the bard would only remain behind so long. Xena had discovered that, many times over.

The fact a rock had informed Gabrielle to come find her hopefully would not be lost on Anteus. If the bard was hearing voices, so could Anteus.

That was when Xena noticed Icus. Something had the young boy distracted. The warrior princess attempted to get him to confide in her, only to discover the hard way what it was he had seen.

Maell and his men. In fact, the eldest held Gabrielle at knifepoint. It was a mistake to threaten her bard. As many had already discovered.

Savages? Xena knew she could be classified as one, especially with her past ways. But to be called that by someone drugging his father so that he would kill his youngest son so that Maell could inherit all the power was not something she was willing to accept.

Icus proved what a good person he was as he offered to sacrifice himself so that Xena and Gabrielle could go free. For the moment, it was best if she gave in.

It wasn't long until Xena found herself in a deep hole. She had to catch Gabrielle. If nothing else, this would make for a great workout. Especially when the bard began to fall. Luckily, it didn't take much to secure the bard. If the situation was different, the warrior would enjoy having Gabrielle holding her the way she was.

Now for the fun part. Xena would have to climb. As she said to her bard, enjoying every moment of it. Except for the part where Gabrielle nearly took her head off once they reached the top of the well.

It was a good thing Gabrielle's head was hurting. It meant the henbane was wearing off. The hangover would be worse than if the bard had overindulged in alcohol. Xena didn't envy her.

Especially since they needed to separate. Having discovered Maell was behind the voice, they needed to retrieve the loud talking thing. That was the bard's job. It was Xena's to attempt to talk Maell out of killing his brother.

It was sad how conceited Maell was. It was why he thought his plan would work. No one would suspect a religious man, such as himself, of actually attempting to have his father kill his younger brother so that he could have all the power.

As always, it wasn't about who was more powerful. It was about who was studied. Who knew the moves an opponent could make. And be able to counter those moves. It had Maell dangling.

Xena offered mercy, but Maell chose his fate. And in the end, claiming it was God's will that he die. All of this would be for nothing if the warrior princess could not save Icus.

The chakram was flying. Its target was true. At the last moment, the voice spoke. Gabrielle must have retrieved the loud talking thing. If she hadn't, Anteus would have lost his hand, at the very least.

The family was reunited and safe. While they could celebrate the life of Icus, they would have to deal with what Maell had attempted to do. And continue to reconcile their faith in one God.

As they began to walk, Xena realized how much Gabrielle remained suffering. The headache had to be beyond belief. The warrior princess had done stupid things to her body over the years and knew what the bard was dealing with.

The fact Gabrielle had not retrieved the loud talking thing, yet had heard the voice also had Xena thinking. Was there a true God? Was it one of the Greek Gods? Someone had spoken. But who?

It would make for an interesting discussion. After all, Xena didn't want to face how beautiful Gabrielle thought she was. It was difficult enough knowing her bard was in love with her and burying the confession deep within.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

"How's the head?" Xena was grateful that, for once, her bard had accepted to ride behind her on Argo. While they could have remained, at least for the night with Icus' family, it was time to move on.

In fact, Xena had saved some dinars. It was time they once again made it to the next village. It was dinner and a place to rest Gabrielle's head upon.

"Still pounding, thanks." Gabrielle couldn't believe how her head ached. It was even greater than when the pinch had been used. Her head had felt like it was exploding. Now, it seemed to be exploding.

"Just hold on a little. When we stop for the night, I'll try and ease it." Xena felt the grasp around her tighten. How she could become accustomed to riding like this.

Argo might not always appreciate having to carry them both, but there was a part of Xena that missed the contact when her bard walked beside her.

"I will. And thanks. I'm surprised my stomach isn't more upset." Gabrielle reluctantly unwound one hand so that she could pat Argo on the hip. "No offense, but usually being this high up and the motion makes me a little sick."

As if understanding, Argo whinnied. She also pranced a little. "Easy, Girl. I thought you and Gabrielle had come to an understanding."

Once again, Argo was letting her displeasure to be known. "It won't be much longer and you can be free of both of us." Xena leaned in to whisper in Argo's ear, careful not to dislodge her bard. "So be nice."

One more nod of the head and whinny before Argo continued to carry her riders along. There was the scent the horse hated. It was people. She liked the freedom of the trails. She enjoyed sweet grass. Most likely, she would be confined to a stable somewhere.

"Where are we?" Gabrielle had been lulled nearly to sleep. It wasn't normal. She must still be sick from the henbane. They were somewhere she had never been before.

"It's a small horse breading village." Xena glanced around. It hadn't changed much since she had been here last. The fact it was with her army as they had marched against another city might not make her the most welcomed of boarders.

"I thought I smelled something familiar." Gabrielle could feel the horse dung that she had held in her hand as proof it wasn't centaurs behind the attack on her sister amazons.

Xena shook her head. For someone raised on a farm, Gabrielle wasn't all that keen on the smells at times. "Perhaps it's time for a real bath."

The shot to her back had been expected. The hug had not. Xena thought it would have taken Gabrielle sooner to realize why she had taken them along this path. "I have some dinars. I thought we could use a night in a real bed and a meal neither of us cooks."

Gabrielle wasn't certain what to say. She knew that things had been a little strained since her return home. It was her wording when she had left Xena that had them strained so. "It's not been since home I've had a bed. Even then, had to share with Lila."

"There will be no sharing if the inn still has the rooms they used to." At the edge of the village, Xena pulled up gently on the reins. She turned so she was able to look Gabrielle in the eyes. "I should warn you. I marched through here with my army. We took some of their horses and didn't pay. Some might not be thrilled with my arrival."

The bard took a deep breath. While a night in a soft bed and a hot bath sounded heavenly, Gabrielle was accustomed to sleeping on the ground and bathing in a stream or lake. "I'll hold on tight, just in case."

There was a twinkle in emerald eyes. Xena should have known her bard wouldn't complain. After all, Gabrielle had remained by her side throughout Ares' attempt to bring her back into the fold. That had led to Xena striking her.

"All right." Xena had Argo moving once again. They remained silent as they made their way through the small village. While there were some glances, the warrior princess knew they were for newcomers.

They made it to the stables before anyone even said anything to them. A young boy met the pair. Xena helped her bard to the ground before dismounting herself. "Just one horse?"

"If it's all right for Xena and her friend Gabrielle to stay here." Xena wanted to make certain it was known who she was so they could avoid trouble.

"Been a long time." The stable door opened. A man with only one leg emerged. There was a scar that ran from his left ear to his neck.

Xena froze. She hadn't expected to see anyone from her old army in the village. "I'd forgotten we were forced to leave you here, Lars."

An expression full of hate graced the man's face. It didn't last. Lars held out his hand. "It's the best thing you did for me. The maiden who worked at the inn took pity on me. She helped me to heal. This is my son, our son."

The warrior princess relaxed. "I'm happy for you. There are too many things I regret from that time." Xena remembered Gabrielle was standing there. "This is my best friend. We've been traveling together for nearly a season. She's a bard so if there's a need of a storyteller…"

Lars leaned on his crutch. "I'm not certain. The inn has changed hands. This village isn't the same as the one you left me in. While I'm better off, not everyone is."

"Story of the times." Xena sighed. "If you'll care for Argo, we'll see to a room. If not, I hope there's room in the loft for an old friend."

"Always." Lars took a tentative step forward. "Just be careful of who you tell of your name. Too many cutthroats like to call this place home."

"Understand." Xena took her saddlebags before relinquishing Argo's reins. "We should be safe in the stable, if not the hot meal and soft bed I promised you."

"I'm used to sleeping under the stars. A night in the stables, even with the smell, will be a nice change." Gabrielle felt better. And she realized something. She had to hold onto her time with Xena. No matter how little or long they had together.

"Come on then." It wasn't long before they were at the bar. The smell of supper was even causing Xena's stomach to growl. A familiar face was behind the bar. One she hadn't seen since her warrior days. "Last time I saw you was in Tracus."

"I thought that was you." The warrior placed two mugs of ale upon the bar. "You are welcome here. But it's not a place, at least after dark, for those that don't know how to take care of themselves."

Gabrielle leaned upon her staff. "This isn't just a walking stick." The man behind the bar's laughter startled the bard. Though she was angry, she chose to show him exactly how adept she was at it. She eased herself through the exercises Xena had designed just for her.

The man held up his hands in defeat. "I guess that old saying about judging a centaur by the size of his hooves apply." The man blushed. "Sorry, that was crude."

"I travel with the warrior princess." Gabrielle wasn't innocent anymore, but the image was a bit more than she wanted.

"Now that we have the pleasantries over with, how about a hot meal and a room?" Xena nearly punched the ex warlord. It was understandable talk with most of his clientele.

"I can have two meals sent up." The man turned his back. It was something he wasn't accustomed to doing to his regulars. "It's the one at the far back on the left. I assumed you'd want your privacy."

"Always." Xena took the key. It wasn't long before they were settled in the room. Her old frenemy had read her right. There were two beds, along with a small bathtub.

"You can use the bathtub first. I want to secure the room before the meals arrive." There was no argument from the bard. "I won't ask again, but how is your head?"

"I'd nearly forgotten it was pounding." Gabrielle had placed her parchments on one of the beds. She had already set to removing her leathers.

"I'll work on that, after I secure the place." Xena placed her chakram under her pillow. She placed a solid chair against the door. It would open, but would impede the intruder.

By the time Xena turned around, her bard was already naked. The water in the bathtub was clean, but cool. It was perfect. Xena slowly made her way toward her bard.

The warrior princess swallowed hard as her hands were touching soft skin. Xena began by massaging Gabrielle's shoulders, before making her way to the back of the bard's neck.

It would be so easy to kiss the silky skin. But this was about making Gabrielle's head feel better, not about Xena's libido and her attraction to her bard.

If Xena were honest, it would be so easy to make love to Gabrielle. But she wasn't ready. She wasn't certain her bard was. Perhaps soon, they would be able to take their relationship to the next level.

The knock on the door was more than welcomed for Xena. There was a screen the warrior princess used to hide her bard. Soon, the meals were placed on the table between the beds. Soon, the meals were consumed.

It was Xena's turn for a bath. She could hear the scribbling of quill to parchment. What was her bard writing about? Was it learning of the belief in one true God? Or was it her personal diary.

Gabrielle was upon her bed in the night clothes she rarely wore. It was best to remain in her traveling clothes in case there was trouble of some kind.

Her quill would not stop moving. It wasn't analyzing the possibility of one God. It was analyzing her feelings. The way her body had reacted as Xena had massaged her. And how it had felt when she had had azure eyes upon her as she learned to fish with her hands.

How many times was Gabrielle going to allow one of these opportunities to pass her by? When would they have privacy like they were enjoying now? The bard vowed to hide her feelings, until they were alone again. In some strange village. In some strange room. She would make the first move.


	20. Chapter 20

There comes a time when we realize we would do anything for the person we love. I'd promised myself to take the next opportunity to confess to Xena how much in love with her I was.

Sometimes, The Fates have other ideas for us. In this case, it was Ares who had other ideas for Xena. It, of course, affected me. Everything that affected the warrior princess affected me.

So when Ares pulled another one of his schemes to bring Xena back under his spell, it nearly cost me my friendship with my warrior princess. All before I had had the chance to confess just how much I loved her.

I know Xena would have done no less. Walking away, even if it was the most painful thing in the world to do. What's that old saying? Just to see you smile? Or is that something I just made up.

No matter. It's always been true between us. Even in the beginning. I remember our first camp together. Xena had shaken her head. But she had still thrown me the bedroll. It had made me smile. In turn, it had made her smile.

In the beginning, getting Xena to smile was not the easiest thing to do. I was frustrating. I was naïve. I was needing guidance so desperately. It tired my warrior princess more than any fight in those early years.

This time, it was Xena who exhausted me. As usual, she didn't confide in me. I didn't know anything about her childhood. At least not beyond how she had become a ruthless warlord. Nothing about her family.

In fact, it wasn't until later that I met Toris. It came as quite the shock. There were so many secrets. I could write a list the length of the Nile.

I hear the clearing of a throat. I know this means I should write how Xena wasn't the only one who kept secrets. There's one secret that will forever haunt us both.

In some ways, that secret caused me to never think I'd be worthy of being a parent. I think that's why I struggled the first few months of Eve's life. Because I didn't think I deserved to be a parent again.

It's why…Xena is now kneeling beside me. I know I shouldn't dwell on these thoughts. Just as I know I should focus on the here and now.

And I should focus on the time Ares attempted to return Xena to the ruthless warlord he so desired. All by presenting a father she never truly knew. And I nearly fell into the trap by walking away.

If I had, who would have stood up to Xena? I cringe at the thought. I cringe a lot when I think of the God of War. Though he did help us in a time of need, I don't think I can ever truly forgive him.

For now, I reflect on a past coming back. Not to haunt, but to try and give Xena happiness. At least, if it had been true and not a deception…

TIES THAT BIND

Up a tree was not what Gabrielle was accustomed to. But it gave them the best advantage. The pair had been traveling, as usual. They were two days from the last village that they had actually had a warm bath and bed to sleep in.

They were two days from when Gabrielle had made her vow to confide in Xena just how she felt. Would she have the courage to follow through? Time would tell.

The screams had caused them both to run. It had returned to the norm. Gabrielle had been on foot as Xena was in the saddle.

Slave trade. It remained such a hot commodity. It was how Xena and Gabrielle had met. The bard and her young fellow villagers had been about to be taken by Draco's men.

As Xena said, they were not about to allow that to happen. With twenty men in the camp, they would have to go about rescuing the girls cautiously. Even with Gabrielle becoming more accomplished with the staff, it would leave too many for the warrior princess.

That was when the man came charging in. Gabrielle didn't have to be told the man was suicidal to attempt to rescue the women on his own.

Gabrielle watched as her warrior princess charged after the reckless man. By the time the bard caught up with them, Xena was tending to a wound on the man's upper arm.

The bard hadn't expected to meet Xena's father in this manner. In fact, she had assumed she would never meet any of her warrior princess' family, other than her mother.

The exchange between the two was telling. Atrius was speaking as if he was a proud father who truly missed his daughter. Xena was angry. It was clear the warrior princess wasn't believing for a second the man was her father because the man had been selfish in years past.

As Xena walked away, Gabrielle had to ask. Was Atrius her father? The bard had known there was not even a part of her warrior princess who believed he was. But it was shocking news.

There wasn't anymore time to talk about it now. It was time to free the girls. Xena distracted the men, while Gabrielle freed the girls.

One girl refused to go with the others. Gabrielle told the others to hide while she went after the young girl. It took a moment to catch up and even longer to convince the young girl to come with the bard.

Luckily, Atrius had remained to help Gabrielle. Now was the trek to the girl's village, before taking on the warlord who was after the girls in the first place.

They traveled at a quick clip. It wasn't long before they needed to rest. Gabrielle took the moment to seek out the young girl who had run. She wanted to know why.

As Gabrielle listened, she understood why Rhea would think along the lines she did. But didn't she realize that offering herself so others could remain free was an admirable thing? That her family would most likely welcome her back with open arms?

It was something Gabrielle had attempted to do. She had offered herself so that the others wouldn't have to suffer the horrors of being a slave. Luckily, no one had had to suffer. Though Gabrielle was praised, it was Xena who was the real hero.

Speaking of the real hero, Gabrielle found Xena humming. Unusual, but not unheard of. The girls were ready, but where was Atrius?

Though time was of the essence, Gabrielle had to ask what it was like to grow up without a father. Xena's answer was simple. You can't miss what you didn't have as her father had left when she was young.

One memory Xena managed to share sounded more than exciting to Gabrielle. It would be amazing as an adult. But being picked up by one's father as they rode at you on horseback and hugged tightly was beyond anything the bard could even imagine.

That's when their time was interrupted. Xena was off as Atrius was shouting for her. The man was being chased by men. What was happening now?

Gabrielle remained with the girls while Xena was off saving Atrius once again. It was becoming habit forming. The bard only hoped her warrior princess wasn't in any real danger.

Thankfully it wasn't too long before the warrior princess rejoined Gabrielle and the girls. The bard had to ask where Xena was. Seeing a man about a horse was cryptic, but Gabrielle understood.

It could mean Atrius had indeed stolen the horse. Or, shockingly, it meant he hadn't. Since he hadn't lied about the horse, did that mean he was Xena's father? The warrior princess couldn't, it seemed, accept that. Or didn't want to.

Gabrielle held back so that she could hopefully speak with Rhea more. The young woman was terrified of returning home. Why?

There had to be family who was worried about the young girl. It turned out she had a younger sister. Rhea asked that Gabrielle find her sister and tell her Rhea had had no choice and shouldn't feel guilty.

It was beginning to make more sense. Rhea, like Gabrielle had attempted to do not that long ago, had offered herself so that others could go free. For Rhea, it was specifically her sister, who was to be married in the spring.

As convincingly as she could, Gabrielle informed Rhea her family and the villagers would understand. They would welcome her back. But the young woman would not believe her. The bard only hoped her final words of allowing an evil man to ruin her life, even after finding her freedom, would change her mind.

Gabrielle wasn't fast enough once Xena took off. By the time the bard caught up with the latest conflict, she couldn't believe her eyes. The warrior was on his back begging for his life. Atrius didn't hesitate in running him through. Worse were his words. No remorse.

There had not been a knife. Gabrielle was a hundred percent certain of that. Yet, there it was. Xena attempted to reassure her that everyone makes mistakes, but the bard knew what she had seen.

Was Xena's comment as much for herself as it was for her bard? Gabrielle wondered if her warrior princess was beginning to believe Atrius was her father.

If Atrius truly was Xena's father, Gabrielle would be amiss if she didn't allow the two to reconnect. Alone. After all, Atrius informed her he wouldn't remain after the girls were safe. Because he didn't want to come between the duo.

Was she all right? Gabrielle was far from all right. If she were the true friend she claimed to be, she would allow father and daughter to reconnect.

Would it be forever? Gabrielle would most likely trail the pair. Her love for Xena would never die. She would miss the adventures they shared together and that inspired her scrolls.

In that moment, Gabrielle truly understood what Rhea had been thinking. Why she was so tentative to return home. If you love someone, sometimes leaving them is the best thing for everyone involved.

Saying goodbye was the most difficult thing in the world. For once, Gabrielle wasn't certain she would ever see her warrior princess after everything was settled. In fact, she knew she wouldn't. Once Kirilus and his men were neutralized, the bard would begin traveling.

Where would she go? Gabrielle could visit her family. She never did get to see mother and father the last time. Lila would love to see her. But she couldn't stay, that was for certain.

Where, other than by Xena's side, could be home? As she guided the young women, she began to realize there was nowhere. The closest, maybe, would be with her sister Amazons.

At least Gabrielle could continue with learning her staff. Maybe she could learn other weapons. The great thing about the Amazons, it wasn't only war they were taught. She could study and continue to be a bard.

The reunion between sisters was touching. There was no need to thank the bard. Gabrielle maintained her thoughts in that Rhea had done the right thing. And so had she.

Gabrielle didn't know how it had happened. She knew Atrius was guilty and waiting punishment. But when had he been beaten so badly?

The army was on its way. Xena was at the head of it. There was little resistance, other than the bard. Chaos was surrounding her. The worse? Watching as her warrior princess was telling them to kill'em all.

Standing up to a ruthless warlord was never easy. But when it was your best friend and the person you were in love with, it was the most difficult thing in the world.

But Xena had taught her how to do just that. Gabrielle wasn't as strong. She wasn't as knowledgeable. But there was one thing the bard hoped would snap her friend out of the warrior haze she was caught in.

The blow to Xena's back had its desired effect. It took a moment for the warrior princess to realize exactly what was happening.

It was terrifying how Atrius suddenly came to life. What was happening? Ares. They'd only had one other encounter with the God of War. Gabrielle had not seen or heard him. It was unsettling to watch him morph from Atrius to his Godlike form.

Watching as Ares toyed with Xena angered Gabrielle. Weren't mortals given free will? The God of War continued to tempt the warrior princess to return to her old ways.

One way Ares made sense was how he was a father to Xena. He had taught her the ways of a warrior. He had taught her how to use that anger to destroy everything. So in a way, the God of War was the warrior princess' father.

Hearing Xena say she would rather be dead than join Ares nearly caused Gabrielle to be physically ill. It also made her proud. But the end result was something the bard would have difficulty recovering from. If she ever did.

Gabrielle wanted to jump between Xena and Ares. But she knew this was something her warrior princess had to do on her own. Thankfully, the God of War was only bluffing. But would he always be bluffing?

Finally, the villagers were settled. The army was dealt with. It meant it was time to travel together. As Xena spoke about being bound closer than blood, this was the moment.

The bard should have followed through on her promise to say something. But after nearly leaving Xena, Gabrielle couldn't bring herself to say anything more than she agreed.

Xena owed her one? That was a terrifying thought. And yet, it meant they would be traveling together for quite some time. While Ares had attempted to separate the two, he had brought them closer together.

Gabrielle now understood, better than she ever had. The bard was just as important in the scheme of things. Why? How? If Ares, God of War, wanted to separate her from the warrior princess, it meant Gabrielle was the one keeping Xena on her current path. Which was to fight for the greater good.

Now all Gabrielle had to do was remember that the next time someone attempted to divide the two. Instead of giving in so easily, she needed to talk to Xena. To make certain they were both thinking along the same lines. And one day soon tell her she was in love with her.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

There was always an ache to her stomach whenever Xena heard screams such as the ones that had brought them to the trees. The camp was in a strategically negative place as anyone could observe, without being seen.

Slavery. It was one thing Xena hated with a passion. Even in her warlord days, she was hesitant to sell innocents into anything so heinous. Even Satrine was never her slave. She had merely clung on. Why? The warrior princess was uncertain.

The memory of seeing Gabrielle and her fellow villagers being herded to be sold as property fueled the warrior princess when she heard the cries of the young girls. Xena would make certain they would not find out what it could mean to be a slave.

Twenty men? Was that all? If Xena were to put her mind to it, she could defeat an army. But she would do it wisely. Unlike the man who was recklessly charging.

Xena didn't wait for Gabrielle. It was easy to catch up to the old man. He was already injured when she made it to him. It was a struggle to convince the man he needed to leave before he was killed.

In fact, the man didn't want to be treated. If Xena hadn't interfered, the man would have been killed. What was it with old warriors and not knowing their limits?

Gabrielle instantly was showing the man concern. But at the mention of her name, the man acted as if he knew her. More than that, he claimed to be her father. A man who ran out on her mother and two brothers.

From what little she remembered and tiny bits of information her mother would share, Xena knew this man could not be her father. He was selfish and never would have placed himself on the line for the likes of innocents.

As they walked away from the man, Gabrielle had to ask. Was the man named Atrius her father? Xena would never believe that. She couldn't.

It was time to preoccupy herself. A good fight always seemed to do just that for the warrior princess. Xena made certain they wouldn't be followed, at least for the foreseeable future.

Her first instincts were to discover where Gabrielle was. After telling the girls to hide in the woods, Xena made a beeline for her bard.

It would be a long walk to Locia with so many innocents. Especially if one of those girls wasn't so certain about returning. There was the fact the man who claimed to be her father wasn't too far away.

In fact, the man was offering a second horse. While it would make things a little easier, there was no need. They could make do with walking and taking breaks.

How could the man prove anything to her? Xena wasn't naïve. She wouldn't take anything on face value. The fact he had helped save Gabrielle and the others was a start. But he was not her father.

The impatience was showing as Xena hummed. She practically snapped when she asked her bard if the girls were ready. Where was the strange man? The warrior princess didn't know. In some ways, didn't care.

Tough growing up without a father? Would it have made a difference? Xena wasn't so sure. Her mother had done an amazing job, especially with the natural energy she had.

Her father had left when she was so little, he didn't mean much to her. Even the idea of a father didn't mean much. There was one memory Gabrielle's questions were causing to emerge.

Xena could almost feel how it had felt to stand so still in the field. There was something so dangerous and wild about having her father charging at her as he rode his horse.

It was exhilarating as her father would hold her tight as they rode at a full gallop. Xena hated to admit it, but before her father left, she did think he was the most amazing man in the known world.

The warrior princess was abruptly brought out of her memories by the shouts of Atrius. Once again, Xena was fighting to save the man who claimed to be her father.

Why? Yes, they could use another horse. But it wasn't worth the aggravation of wasting energy on yet another fight. Especially if it was for a stolen horse.

Why couldn't Xena believe Atrius was speaking the truth? Easy. If he was her father, he had run out on her a long time ago and deserved no respect.

Though the claim of not being the same man was oh so familiar. Wasn't Xena attempting to prove she wasn't the same old ruthless warlord she'd been for how many seasons?

Something caused Xena to want to know. There was something there to the claims that Atrius was her father. How would he have known about the story she had shared with Gabrielle otherwise?

So, Atrius had been telling the truth. Though he might not have gone about collecting on the debt of a horse, he had been owed one.

It was the first thing Gabrielle asked as she returned. Xena had been seeing a man about a horse. No, Atrius hadn't been lying. As torn as she was, the warrior princess could not bring herself to admit Atrius was her father.

Yet, as Xena listened to Atrius hum, she had to admit to feeling a connection. As he spoke of her mother, she could remember those times they shared so clearly. Wasn't she like him in the fact no place was home, not truly. It was traveling and discovering the next adventure?

Anything Xena wanted to tell him about her life? She knew he had to have heard the tales. The ones where she was attempting to rule as much of the land as possible. But what about the latest tales? The ones Gabrielle was making famous.

Her instincts didn't fail her. Xena sensed the assassin. She definitely wasn't that easy to kill. Her own men had made her run The Gauntlet, yet she was standing here stronger than ever.

How long was Xena gone? The man who had attempted to kill her was now dead. Atrius was calmly cleaning his sword. Gabrielle was stuttering as she attempted to tell the warrior princess she didn't see the dagger. That from the bard's point of view, it had been murder, not self-defense.

It was in that moment that Xena was finally able to admit Atrius was her father. It was how she could so casually say everyone makes mistakes, even her. Gabrielle might take it as something from her past, but it was because of her own self-doubt.

There was something more to what Gabrielle was attempting to say, other than it would be easier for her and the girls to head to the village, while Xena and Atrius make certain Kirilus and his men never made it to the village.

Xena paused when she heard the goodbye. Gabrielle hadn't meant for her to hear it. Curse her better than average hearing. Her bard was planning something. Was it leaving the warrior princess alone with her father?

As they traveled side by side, Xena finally had to come to terms with the fact her father might not realize her past. It was nearly too easy when he accepted what she had said. That it had made her the woman she was today. While true, how could anyone accept that? Unless…

The rest of the men were on their way to the village. Xena had to hurry. Gabrielle would be there to help, but she needed to be there to protect those that couldn't.

So Atrius had a past as well. That was probably one reason he so easily accepted the fact Xena was attempting to change. For now, it didn't matter what he had done. What mattered was making certain the village was safe.

It wasn't long before they were in the tavern. It was clear, no one was happy to see Atrius. What exactly had the man done? Raze the village? That couldn't be true.

Fool me once…Xena knew once fooled, especially if there was death and destruction, the villagers would never believe Atrius had changed. It was up to the warrior princess to stop Kirilus herself.

It was almost too easy when a warlord looked forward to facing Xena. Why? Because they wanted to be the one who conquered the warrior princess. Especially when Kirilus asked how she wanted to die.

Throwing a knife as Xena was unarmed was exactly how unsporting she figured Kirilus would be. It wasn't her best fight, but in the end, the warrior princess had control of Kirilus' army.

The calls of her name brought back memories. There was a part of Xena that missed having control over men who would do anything for her. For now, she was able to maintain control. But she could feel herself slipping into that haze.

The sight of Atrius, no her father, strung up like that was what caused Xena's tentative hold on remaining true to fighting for the greater good snap. It was easy to give the command to take the village.

Just because he had attempted to escape, it meant the elder could string up her father. Instantly, Xena was by her father's side. She was cradling his head in her lap. As she held him, he took his last breath.

With his last words, something snapped inside. Xena had wanted to be with her father, once she had accepted him as that. Her response to losing him? Kill them all!

Someone was in her way. A familiar voice was attempting to penetrate the haze. Xena wouldn't allow anything to get in her way of seeking revenge for her father's death.

The name Draco…The way Xena was acting…Was it the same? No. It was because these people tortured and killed her father. They deserved all the punishment they received.

That's when Xena felt it. It wasn't so much painful, though it did hurt. The blow to her back caused the warrior princess the ability to truly see what was happening.

There were how many innocent villagers fearing for their lives. All because Xena was supposedly attempting to avenge her father's death.

Suddenly, Atrius was alive. He was asking why she wasn't going to avenge his death. Where was the anger? Where was the drive? Together they could kill them all!

Fight for him? In that moment, Xena knew. It was never her father. Once again, Ares was attempting to bring her back into the fold. He had tapped into her rage that was always bubbling just below the surface.

While saying it, Xena knew Ares would never give up on her. She was his ultimate warrior. The one who had it all. But she could never follow him again. There was too much she could do for the greater good.

No, Ares was not her father. Even with his analogy, he would never be her father. He had guided her, true, but a true father doesn't cause you to hate. To want you to kill.

Xena stood unarmed after a brief fight. Though Ares raged on, she knew he could never run her through. Gabrielle, on the other hand, was in danger if she attempted to save her.

There was so much to process. The moment Ares disappeared, Xena had to face what she had done. The biggest thing was making certain Gabrielle knew how she felt, at least on a certain level.

The fact the warrior princess was in love with her bard would remained hidden. But informing Gabrielle she was her family, that was as easy as breathing.

Once again, there was a little levity as they made their way out of the village and onto the next adventure. Gabrielle had learned from the best. And Xena owed her one.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Where to go from here? Once again, there had been some levity between the friends in an attempt to not speak about how Xena's actions had affected them.

But it wasn't only that. It was also the fact that Gabrielle had been willing to leave so that Xena could travel with her father. In a way, she would make nearly the ultimate sacrifice.

Xena was upon Argo. Gabrielle had insisted on walking. For once, she wasn't beside the warrior princess. The bard was several paces behind her.

Why was it every time they made strides in their relationship something else transpired that would negate those strides?

All the warrior princess wanted was to wrap her bard in her arms. To lay the groundwork so that one day she could make love to her.

If Xena were honest with herself, it would be the first time she had ever truly made love with someone. The closest would have been Marcus, but even then there was something to be gained.

Not with Gabrielle. There was no purer spirit in the known world than her bard. It wasn't about whether or not the bard was chaste or had harmed another. It was about her very soul. What made her who she was.

Why was Gabrielle following so far behind? Because she was once again contemplating her relationship with Xena. Why had she so easily been convinced to leave her warrior princess?

One could say it was because Gabrielle was in love with Xena. That she would do anything, just to see her smile. If there had been a chance her warrior princess could be happy, even for a short while without the bard by her side, it would have been worth the pain of separation.

But for how long? Gabrielle had vowed to express her emotions the first chance there was. But would there ever be that chance? They spent a majority of their time by a campfire, alone, but it never felt right.

Why would Gabrielle have to wait until they were in an inn? Why couldn't she open up while they were on the road together? Especially since it was becoming more and more difficult to hide the depth of her emotions.

Xena was exhausted. It was, as always, more trying when it came to dealing with emotions. It would be an early camp tonight. And hopefully, she would be able to speak to Gabrielle about the two things haunting her.

To Xena's surprise, it was her bard who spotted the creek. It might not have any fish, but the warrior princess could always hunt other game. She watched as her bard began scooping the water to drink.

Gabrielle began to wash her feet. It reminded her of when Xena had been placed on trial for killing innocent villagers. Villagers Ares had killed. This was another moment of confusion and pain caused by The God of War.

While she was to blame, Xena wondered how many more times Ares would interfere. How many more times she would have to tell him no. What made her so special? Why was there not another he could seduce?

"I'm sorry." The words were out before Xena realized what she was saying. Why was she sorry this time? "And before you ask why, it's because of Ares."

Gabrielle slowly rose from the creek. The water was lukewarm. But after walking for how long escorting the girls back to their village and then distancing herself from Xena, it had felt heavenly on her feet.

"Why should you apologize for his actions?" Gabrielle slowly made her way toward her warrior princess. "He's a god. He thinks he can get away with anything he wants. Including pretending to be your father so you will blindly follow him."

"And you nearly walked away when you thought it would be best for me and my so-called father." Xena knew she had to tread lightly. It was a sensitive subject, either of them leaving.

The bard could not look Xena in the eyes. Gabrielle had thought she had hid it well. But she knew she had to say something. "You do what you can to make the person you're in love with happy."

Xena hesitated in responding. She had literally dreamed of this moment. She had already experienced it, but her bard had forgotten how it was the warrior princess who had confessed her love only for her to forget.

"I shouldn't have said it." Gabrielle turned toward the creek. It wouldn't soothe her aching heart or absorb the tears that were already starting to fall.

The warrior princess didn't hesitate in doing one of her flips. Xena landed in the creek, unfortunately splashing her bard. "If it's how you feel, you should have said it. Just like I did tell you how I feel. Only for you to have an accident and forget."

Emerald eyes blinked several times. Gabrielle remembered the accident she thought Xena was referring to. She thought her warrior princess had spoken so lovingly to her. Yet, she could not recall those words.

"It must have hurt when I couldn't remember." Gabrielle was now crying for a different reason. "It's hurt for a long time not being able to tell you how I felt. That I love you like I've never loved anyone before."

"And I now know what love is like for the very first time in my life." Xena was shaking as she reached out to place a stray hair of her bard's hair behind her ear. "I had the love of my brother and mother, but nothing prepared me for how I feel about you. Or what I feel from you."

Gabrielle couldn't help laughing. "And I thought I was the bard." The bard collapsed into her warrior princess' awaiting arms.

Xena merely held her bard for the longest of moments. There was the primal part of her that wanted to pick up Gabrielle and consummate the newest part of their relationship.

But was Gabrielle ready for the physical side? For that matter, was Xena ready for the physical side? Too many lovers but never once having made love. It was enough to terrify even the warrior princess herself.


	21. Chapter 21

Facing death. It wasn't the first time I had to face it. But to face it with the woman I loved? That I hadn't even kissed? It was nearly too great a task.

If Xena had died that fateful day, I don't know if I would have had the strength to go on. Yes, I would have made certain her body rested next to her brother and her mother would have been told in person. And not by one of my stories or by rumor.

I've barely begun writing and already I'm fighting back tears. The saddest part? It won't be the last time I write about the death of my soulmate. Or how we managed to reunite.

I have to take a sip of water. I want something stronger but know it will only drown out the memories. Part of writing these chronicles is so that I can process everything Xena and I experienced together.

The difficulty with the first experience with Xena's perceived death was the fact it was the bringer of Callisto. We didn't know it at the time, but it was she who merely wanted to slow the warrior princess down.

I can't even begin to put into words what the woman's influence had on both our lives. Now I've gone from crying tears of sadness to rage.

This isn't what this particular chapter is about, but I have to say. I did forgive Callisto. But I can never forget. And I can never truly heal because of all the things she caused us to endure.

Back to the first time I thought I'd lost my soulmate. It was unreal. We had spent a handful of days adjusting and enjoying the fact we could finally say we were in love, even if only in private, to me potentially saying my final goodbyes.

A part of me thinks I should have known better. I'd already witnessed so many magical feats by Xena. But death is unforgiving, as I'd already learned, once upon a time.

That poor tree. I wonder if I did it any real harm when I had learned of Xena's passing? I know my staff had lost its life in the first step of my attempting to grieve.

Once again, Salmoneus proved he was a decent man, even though his first thoughts were always for profit. Without his kindness, I don't think I would have managed to stand up and do the right thing. It wasn't only about retrieving Xena's body, it was about helping the villagers.

I have to stop once again. I don't know if I can finish this introduction part of the chapter. It's bringing so many emotions to the surface.

Ones, not forgotten, but had been buried. Unfortunately, there were so many situations that caused me to bury my emotions. For us both to attempt to not be haunted.

For me, the first major emotional moment was losing Xena. How would I have reacted had I known it was only the first of many times I would mourn my soulmate?

THE GREATER GOOD

It wasn't always easy finding a sparring partner. Xena hated to spar with the bard, if only out of fear of harming Gabrielle. Much to the chagrin of the young amazon in training.

Argo wasn't Gabrielle's first choice. Especially when Xena would intervene. She loathed when her warrior princess would whistle, causing the amazing horse to act.

It was true, Gabrielle did need a sparring partner. And it was true that it shouldn't be Argo. It wasn't like they hated one another.

Xena made a funny. Teasing by her warrior princess, at one time, could cause concern for Gabrielle. She hadn't known whether or not it was purely in jest or was seriously angry.

Now that they had finally admitted they loved one another, Gabrielle knew it was fully in jest. Not that either wouldn't become angry and say something they would later regret. It was the solace knowing there was always love behind everything.

A little bonding time with Argo. It had been quite some time since that had happened. Make sure the saddle was tight? That was an unusual request.

It seemed Gabrielle and Argo were going to get along for once. It was a nice change from the norm. That was until Xena was once again whistling.

It just had to be while Gabrielle had her foot in the stirrup. The bard was soon on her backside. The sky was amazing, as was the breeze and sun. That was a positive.

The best insult Gabrielle could come up with was stupid, conniving, four-foot daughter of a mare? The bard had to work on her vocabulary.

It took a little while for Gabrielle to catchup to Xena and Argo. There was an old friend in need. Salmoneus was making money by selling fizzy water.

But that wasn't the only thing Salmoneus had sold. It had taken listening to more salesmanship before the truth was revealed.

Salmoneus had sold talcamite to a warlord. It had led to one big naked defeat. Gabrielle had been quick with the wit that time.

The seriousness of the matter was no joking matter. Because Salmoneus was using the people of the village in his latest get rich scheme, it was placing them all in danger.

Make certain Talmadeus knew what he was up against? Gabrielle knew that meant Xena was planning on paying the warlord a visit. But how far would she go?

As Gabrielle watched, hidden on the side of the road, she realized something. While she had always worried about her warrior princess, something had changed. It was on a level the bard hadn't even known existed.

It heightened even more when Gabrielle realized something wasn't right. Xena was struggling. And when she was on her back, the bard went into action.

With Argo's help, the pair was able to get away. Gabrielle immediately wanted to ask what was happening. Returning to the village and making certain Xena was cared for was the number one priority.

Gabrielle didn't mean to be harsh. But the woman she loved, and now knew loved her, had withheld something that placed them both in mortal danger.

In one way, Xena was right. Now was not the time to inform the warrior princess how stupid and disappointed Gabrielle was in her. Now was the time to plan. To make certain everyone survived.

Yet, listening to what her soulmate would have to endure, Gabrielle wanted to be physically sick. It wasn't an option. Even when Xena wouldn't commit to recovering fully.

Someone needed to be in charge. Xena, for now, was capable of doing just that. It would be up to Gabrielle and Salmoneus to follow through on any plans the warrior princess formed.

This was not what Gabrielle had in mind. Wearing Xena's leathers was…She'd worn leathers while in the amazon village. But there was something so powerful about the warrior princess' leathers.

Was it the mystique? Was it who they belonged to? Or was it merely what Gabrielle equated to them. They, in a way, were the warrior princess.

Counting on Gabrielle to appear as the warrior princess was a gamble. As much as the bard loved her soulmate, she was not confident in the plan.

Especially when Gabrielle attempted to do Xena's war cry. It was comedic at best. Although, when Salmoneus tightened the straps, it helped quite a bit.

It was now up to Salmoneus to ready his workers. They wouldn't have to fight, but they would have to participate. Hopefully convincingly enough to Talmadeous' men.

When Xena called her over, Gabrielle knew it was to be a serious talk. This was different than any other battle. The bard was to be the target. She would follow Xena's instructions. Even though it meant riding Argo.

Argo probably didn't hate her. It was a combination of things. Gabrielle wasn't fond of heights. But more so, it was the fact she had had her very own horse as a child. She had been extremely attached to him. But he had become sick. She had thought he'd get better. In the end, sometimes things you love leave you.

It was difficult leaving Xena. For the first time, Gabrielle was the target. For the first time, it was her warrior princess who was the weak one.

Argo's reaction was to be expected. There was the familiar scent of the leather, but there was the scent of the human being to confuse the horse.

It was odd having to call a truce with a horse, but if Gabrielle were to save Xena and the villagers, she had to do just that.

Once again, it was nearly comical when both Gabrielle and Salmoneus attempted to mimic Xena's whistle for Argo to gallop.

It didn't take much to find Talmadeus' men. Gabrielle wasn't certain if she was truly convincing them, especially when her whistle had Argo kneeling.

Gabrielle managed to recover. She heard the words. The man who gets her, gets her. It was not even remotely anything the bard would ever want to experience.

At the sound of Gabrielle's voice, the villagers did their thing. The men were disarmed and held at bay by the spraying water. It was enough to confuse them as the bard let fly the 'chakram', thankful when the real chakram was sent flying.

Before making her way to Xena, Gabrielle made certain guards were posted. There wasn't a true warrior among the villagers, but they could keep an eye out for trouble.

While Gabrielle knew what Xena had ordered needed to be done, couldn't they take a moment to discuss just how serious whatever it was happening to the warrior princes was?

As Gabrielle took the weapons from Xena, she couldn't even look the warrior princess in the eye. The woman she loved was struggling. It wasn't mentally. It was her health. Something the bard was sure she could assist with.

Gabrielle had to ask. Was Xena about to die? Forget about her warrior princess? It wasn't fair to ask. Yes, these people needed their protection. And they would get it. But what about Xena? What about Gabrielle?

More importantly, what about this newfound part to their relationship? It was only how long ago that finally the words were said. And had yet to act upon those feelings?

The greater good? Gabrielle hated it immediately. If only because it meant Xena would gladly die so that the villagers could live. And leave the bard behind to grieve.

The bard had known what Xena's last wishes would be. It had been a place the warrior princess had visited while trying to make amends to her mother and home village. It was where Gabrielle had told her soulmate she was not alone.

The chaos she was creating felt amazing, if only because Gabrielle was now in such a dark place. The talk of death and bringing Xena home to Amphipolis was soul draining.

Unfortunately, Gabrielle wasn't as lucky this time around. A little water was enough to destroy her disguise. The bard was truly in hot water now.

Gabrielle did her usual. She attempted to use her words to cause Talmadeus to doubt himself. Unfortunately, her words failed her. It was her turn to face a certain death.

That was until an unlikely heroine came to her rescue. Gabrielle didn't have time to think about putting differences beside with Argo. All she could think of was reaching Xena and hopefully saving her soulmate.

The moment Salmoneus attempted to hold her back, Gabrielle knew something had happened. Was it the bard's worse nightmares come true?

It couldn't be real. It just couldn't be. As Gabrielle knelt beside the still body of her warrior princess, she realized it had actually happened. Xena, her soulmate, was dead.

The bard took a moment to attempt to memorize all she could before daring what she had never dared before. A gentle kiss upon Xena's forehead wasn't enough of a goodbye. But it would have to suffice until the villagers were safe.

Nothing more to do than run for it? But that would leave the villagers to fend for themselves. It's not what Xena would have wanted for a millisecond. It was not what Gabrielle would allow to happen.

The villagers would need to holdout, if only long enough so that Gabrielle could make it to Labottie. It was the last known whereabouts of Iolaus. He could help, as well as hopefully Hercules.

And the speech. Nearly identical to the one Xena had given Gabrielle. It wasn't about she or Salmoneus. It was about the innocent people of the village Salmoneus had placed in grave danger. It was about the greater good.

As soon as she was alone, Gabrielle needed to grieve. No one would know exactly what she meant to Xena. No one would know how much the bard loved the warrior princess.

It wasn't having others know Gabrielle was grieving. She knew Xena would want them to keep their relationship from everyone. Already a target merely for traveling with the warrior princess, to be known as her lover would write the biggest bull's eye on the bard's back.

The poor tree. Gabrielle couldn't help it. Over and over and over again she continued to hit the tree. Her poor staff gave out, just as she physically had to give in.

There would be more grieving. So much grieving. Hopefully Gabrielle would be able to live again. Maybe even continue to write about her adventures with the warrior princess.

Finally, it was Xena's words about focusing that brought Gabrielle out of her grief-stricken haze. It wouldn't stop her from grieving, just allow her to function.

It was just in time as Xena's body was gone. Who had taken it? Most likely, it was Talmadeus or one of his men. Gabrielle knew exactly what she had to do.

The battling bard versus an army. That's what it was like as Gabrielle fought her way through the ranks of Talmadeus' army.

It wasn't long until Gabrielle was face to face with Talmadeus. Now was the difficult part. She had to prove she was capable of holding off the army, while retrieving Xena's body.

All it took was glancing away for a second. It earned Gabrielle being held and threatened once again. And it led to watching as Xena's body was tied to two horses.

Neither horse would move no matter how many times they were whipped. Gabrielle realized, a moment before Talmadeus did, that one of those horses was Argo. There was no way the loyal mare would ever go against Xena.

Gabrielle was grateful she was being held for a moment as she watched Xena rise from the dead. It was impossible. It was unbelievable.

Yet, Gabrielle should have had faith in her warrior princess. But how? Death was so final. The bard had witnessed that first-hand how many times now.

One of Xena's first acts was to make certain Gabrielle was free. The bard just had to make certain her warrior princess never did anything like that again.

Luckily, with the help of the villagers and Salmoneus, the fight didn't last long. Talmadeus would face the wrath of the villagers, but it would be just.

Once again, Xena and Gabrielle were headed out, side by side. Argo, it had turned out, didn't hate the bard. Of course, they had something very important in common. They both loved the warrior princess.

The love caused Gabrielle to be angry with Xena. She had truly thought the warrior princess was dead. That they would no longer be traveling together.

It was worse because Xena knew what the poison was and knew the potential side effects. The most important thing Gabrielle hadn't lost sight of was the fact they were clueless as to who had poisoned the warrior princess.

There was no need to thank Gabrielle for saving her warrior princess. Or for making certain that Xena made it home. For all that Xena had gifted her with, it was the least she could do.

Gabrielle didn't want to become soft. Yet, she wanted to ask if Xena had felt the kiss. She wanted to share a real kiss with her soulmate.

As with expressing her true feelings, Gabrielle couldn't seem to make the first move. She couldn't figure out how to hint what she wanted. One day…One day.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It was odd. Xena remained distant from her bard, even after finally having the courage to find the words. To tell Gabrielle she was in love with her.

Was it habit? Or was Xena terrified of the next step in the relationship. Already, they had traveled together. They had eaten together, bathed together and slept in the same bed.

But the next step terrified Xena. Every intimate relationship she'd had not any feelings behind it. Yes, she had cared a great deal for Marcus. In a way, she had loved him. She wanted to believe her son had been born from love but wasn't so certain as she had been incapable of love at that time in her life.

Even from a distance, Xena could tell Gabrielle was causing trouble. At least she wasn't making friends with Argo. When would her bard learn?

Yes, Gabrielle needed to practice. But not with Argo she didn't. It would be much pleasanter if the two could get along, instead of always antagonizing one another.

Xena had to lighten the moment. She truly was telling Argo to have patience with Gabrielle. After all, in the beginning, it had taken all of the warrior princess' patience in regards to her bard.

The warrior princess had to suppress a smile at her bard's reaction. There was a road not far. It would give Argo and Gabrielle a little bit of time alone if she walked there. Hopefully the bard would make certain the saddle was tight.

Someone appearing out of nowhere running up to Xena had to be in trouble. There was a vague recollection of the name Talmadeus, but Lord Seltzer?

Wonderful? Giving? Unselfish? There were very few men in Xena's life that could be classified as such. Still, it was someone, and maybe a village, in trouble.

Once again Xena was whistling for Argo. Hopefully her bard had her horse ready. There was one time Gabrielle had taken liberties. The warrior princess cringed at the memory of how gruff she had been in the beginning.

As Xena made her way toward the village leading Argo, something hit her. It was painful. The dart she retrieved was longer than most used on human prey. There was a familiar scent. If it was what the warrior princess thought it was…It could mean real trouble.

Easily, Xena stopped the men from attacking the village. How was it she was not surprised when she discovered it was Salmoneus behind the troubles of the village.

Salmoneus had some explaining to do that was certain. The more he protested at the use of his real name, the more Xena knew he was hiding something major.

To protect the village and Salmoneus, Xena needed to know what he had done to Talmadeus so that she could better plan on how to deal with him.

When Salmoneus attempted to say it was his secret recipe, Xena was beginning to lose her patience. It just had to be talcamite didn't it?

Gabrielle's hasty pun was amusing. But being embarrassed to that degree was not good. It meant Talmadeus would do anything to exact his revenge.

Leaving was not an option. Salmoneus had to face the consequences of his actions. And someone had to protect the villagers. Xena only hoped it would be before the effects of the dart was fully known.

Salmoneus had to have led a charmed life to remain alive. Gabrielle was correct on that. Now, it was time to see what Talmadeus was truly like. And what they would need to do defeat him.

It was far too easy to track Talmadeus' men. Just as things were becoming interesting, something happened. Her vision blurred. Her moves were not as coordinated. It had to be the poison taking affect sooner than Xena had anticipated.

Luckily, Gabrielle was there to rescue her. Argo and the bard worked as a team to make certain the trio made it back to the temporary safety of the village.

For the first time, Xena truly heard the love in Gabrielle's voice as the bard chastised the warrior princess. It caused Xena to hate herself once again. Though it was true she didn't know how much talmic poison there was, she should have informed her soulmate of the possibilities.

Xena hoped there would be time for Gabrielle to yell at her later. For now, they needed to continue planning on how to defend the village. One thing came to mind.

It would be easier than saying there was a very real possibility Xena would not live through this. That it would have to be Gabrielle who saved the day.

Seeing Gabrielle in her leathers and armor was…Xena had to admit there was a part of her that was experiencing something she never expected. Not that she wasn't physically attracted to the bard, but it was so different and…

The yell was sketchy at best. It was the appearance and the movements that counted. There was also the fact Gabrielle would have to ride Argo that gave some concern.

Now to break it to Gabrielle. But it wasn't only about riding Argo. It was the fact her bard was the sole target. It was Gabrielle's job to lure Talmadeus and his men to the village.

The story of Gabrielle's horse nearly tore Xena enough to allow for a tear or two. It could be so much like the current situation. She couldn't say it and hoped Gabrielle hadn't guessed.

Xena readied herself by the window. She watched as Gabrielle couldn't quite get the whistles right. The time until her bard returned and yelled for her seemed like an eternity.

The chakram did its job. For now, the men would run back to Talmadeus. It was step one of the plan. How many would depend on how determined Talmadeus was to gain his revenge.

There was no need for thanks. Especially if Salmoneus was to make amends to the villagers. Only time would tell if Salmoneus would do the right thing.

Listening to Salmoneus go on, Xena was grateful for her bard's return. Especially after he had spritzed her with the fizzy water. Just seeing that Gabrielle was safe was a relief. For now.

Instead of facing her feelings, Xena did her usual. While all the things she was suggesting were important, she couldn't handle a sensitive chat with her bard.

How Xena wished there was something more than give it time. If she remained an invalid, it would be the most difficult thing in the world as a warrior. And to become a burden to her bard?

Fortunately, it wasn't about Xena. It wasn't about Gabrielle. As she handed her bard the weapons, it was easy to say it was for the villagers. It was for the greater good. In the grand scheme of things, that's all that mattered.

It was happening faster than Xena could anticipate. Her eyesight was nearly gone. She could barely even pull herself on the ground. She couldn't find what she needed. But she could still sense the uninvited visitors.

Luckily, with the last of her strength, Xena managed to dispatch the assassins. Vaguely, she heard Salmoneus' voice. But she couldn't make out the words. She needed to sleep. She needed to close her eyes.

What did Xena experience while she was dead? It wasn't like stories she had been told. All she could see was her bard. Gabrielle was dressed in a white dress. It was obvious it was some kind of ceremony. Was it a wedding? Would Xena ever commit so publicly to her bard?

There was a tenderness. Xena couldn't be certain if she was dead anymore. The touch was as if her lover was kissing her goodbye. Gabrielle. She was near. Xena had to fight to return to her soulmate.

It was as if the kiss was bringing her back. Xena nearly felt whole. There was tingling in her arms and legs. If she opened her eyes, she was certain she would be able to see. A softness covered her.

There was a fight. How Xena wished she could witness it. It had to be Gabrielle fighting to regain possession of her soulmate's body.

The sun was warm upon her skin once the covering was removed. If only Xena could move, she wouldn't have been tied to two horses. One had to be Argo as neither would do as they were commanded.

It was fitting her first words were about touching Argo. Of course, Xena was more concerned about her bard. Seeing Gabrielle being threatened gave her all the strength she required.

The battle was on. Gabrielle just had to command she never die again. If it were up to Xena, she would never die. Or if she did, she would live out each life or the afterlife with Gabrielle by her side.

Hades her body remaining weak. It nearly caused Xena to lose the fight. And it caused her to suffer the worst breath ever. The comment was enough to distract Talmadeus and defeat him. The villagers had stood up to the rest of the warriors. The battle was over.

They left Salmoneus and the villagers to recover. Xena wondered if Salmoneus would remain or if he would be onto his next get rich quick scheme.

It didn't matter at the moment. What did matter was Argo and Gabrielle seemed to be getting along. Yes, strange circumstances could bring together even the most unlikely of pairings.

Facing the fact Xena had technically been dead and what it had done to Gabrielle wasn't going to be easy. Yes, she should have confided in her bard the full potential of the devastating effects of the poison.

There was now an unknown adversary out there. It could be someone from Xena's past or it could be someone attempting to be the one to kill the warrior princess. It seemed more personal to Xena. Time would tell.

The one thing Xena would eternally be grateful for was the fact she would have made it home. At least she would have made it back to Amphipolis thanks to her soulmate. Saying thanks was not nearly adequate.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

They were not far from a village, but Xena didn't want to be around people. She wasn't certain how her bard was feeling. But after her near death experience, she needed alone time with Gabrielle.

The campfire was already crackling, as was the fish frying. Neither was in the mood for anything. The fizzy water wasn't as good as wine or mead would have been.

Xena knew she would have to be the one to open the conversation. "I'm sorry." It seemed she had become an expert at apologizing.

Before answering, Gabrielle removed the fish from the fire. She placed them on their wooden plates, before handing one to her soulmate.

"Things are different now." Gabrielle stabbed at her fish. She wasn't hungry, but knew she had to eat. There hadn't been much time throughout the past couple days to do so.

"I know they are." Xena managed a bit of the fish. It was as amazing tasting as always. "I've lived a solitary life since I was fifteen. Yes, I was surrounded by armies or had my share of lovers."

Gabrielle couldn't force herself to eat anymore. The thought of how many men and women Xena had slept with caused her meager appetite to completely disappear.

"I was always the one in charge. The few times I allowed my guard down, I was hurt. One way or another I was hurt." Xena placed her fish on the bedroll. There was no way she could finish it.

"Do you regret telling me you love me?" Gabrielle somehow managed to look Xena in the eyes. It wasn't easy with the fear of the answer looming.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you." Xena was now next to her bard. She was grateful when Gabrielle took the hand offered her. "I was hurt in so many ways. But I was never truly hurt by even the thought of losing someone."

"Yet, I suffered through that." Gabrielle wanted her staff once again. There would be no helping the poor tree if she were to have a staff at the moment.

Xena felt the nearly crushing pressure and knew her apology wasn't going as well as it should. "I did my usual. I kept details to myself. Because that's what I'm used to. Forgetting I have the most amazing person in the world to watch out for me. To protect me. To attempt to make me safe and happy."

It took a moment for Gabrielle to truly process what her warrior princess was saying. While there was a part of the bard that would remain angry, she could understand, a little, what Xena was going through.

"It's like telling anyone we are more than best friends." Gabrielle smiled sadly. "We can't. I'm already a liability. Even with me able to fight fairly well, I'm holding you back when fighting. If people were to discover the connection was so much more…"

"Stop." Xena was now kneeling before her bard. "While we do have to be cautious of public displays of affection and anyone discovering our love for one another, you are not now nor have you ever been a liability."

Gabrielle couldn't see it that way. "How many times have I been kidnapped? Been naïve and done things that made the situation worse?"

"Listen to me." Xena pulled Gabrielle against her. The warmth and scent of her warrior princess was intoxicating. "While it's true in the beginning you sometimes were more exuberant than I had anticipated, you've changed. You've grown."

"You've become an amazing young woman who can fight, not only with your words, but with your staff." Xena nearly couldn't think as Gabrielle seemed to nestle into her body.

"And whenever there is anything that needs fighting for that I don't think I can handle, I think of you." Gabrielle reluctantly pulled away a little so that she was looking her warrior princess in the eyes.

"You have always believed in me. You have always brought me back when I was in a haze." Xena reached out and tucked a stray hair behind an adorable ear.

"So while others will see you as my weakness, I see you as my strength." Xena wasn't accustomed to being so verbal. But she knew Gabrielle needed to hear how much she needed her. How much she loved her.

"So once again, I say I'm sorry that I didn't confide in you. Especially just how serious it could become." Xena wanted to kiss her bard. She wanted to finally make it official, at least with a token physical act.

As if reading her mind, Gabrielle kissed Xena. It still wasn't on the lips. It was on the forehead. In that moment, Xena knew it was her bard that had brought her back from the brink of death.

It would always be her bard guiding her. Making her do the impossible. After all, Gabrielle had already taught Xena the true meaning of love. If the bard could teach the hardened warrior that, she was capable of doing anything.


	22. Chapter 22

an: wanted to say thanks for the reviews/followers. i'm going to attempt to update about once a month. and i promise, no matter how long it takes, it will be finished.

Where do I even start? I touched on the subject in my last entry. But facing the initial meeting of Callisto is something I will always have a difficult time putting into words.

I could look at the timeframe as the introduction of Joxer, but that only gives me so much comfort. He was an amazing friend over the years. Even taking care of Argo and gifting Xena with her daughter.

Even with a friend such as Joxer entering our lives at the same time, it can't overshadow what Callisto entering our lives signaled.

There is another fact I should hold onto. Without Callisto's hatred and obsession with revenge, I may never have been free to be with my soulmate. But at what cost as I nearly killed for the very first time in an act of my own vengeance.

I'm ahead of myself, but that is habit by now. It's difficult to look at a specific event, without seeing how it affected us down the road.

I'll attempt to concentrate on that moment when I first saw Callisto. Or attempting to convince Xena not to seek revenge. Or when I was hanging so high above the ground and my soulmate once again had to rescue me.

For once, it wasn't because I had been naïve. Yet, it had been. I had attempted to say Callisto could be changed. That she could be redeemed. Over and over again, she would prove I was wrong.

It wasn't until…Here I go again. I don't think I can truly concentrate on that first meeting of Callisto, as much I try. In this life, and those to come, she will forever be a part of us. She will forever have formed who we are.

Ironic since, in a way, Callisto was forged by Xena. One could argue for and against that. But in Callisto's mind, it was Xena who created her.

Yet, without Callisto, we wouldn't have Eve. A gift I can never repay. I know Xena feels the same. Our only regret is how Ares interfered and we missed out on raising our daughter. For once, I can't be angry with the God of War as he had meant to preserve us, together, for eternity.

So I return to that initial meeting with Callisto. I'd hoped to have had some alone time with Xena. So that we could talk more. And perhaps I could have truer aim and kiss her on the lips, instead of the forehead.

We had been relaxing in the tavern. We had been to spend the night at the inn. Would it have been our first time? Callisto struck and so many things began to unfold. All because of the cycle of hatred and violence.

CALLISTO

Entertaining in a tavern was not how Gabrielle had wanted to spend her evening with Xena. They had so much to discuss. At the same time, the bard's dinars were dwindling. It was her way of earning her keep, at least from a monetary standpoint.

The crowd had seemed to enjoy her stories. Gabrielle was her own worst critic. She thought they needed work. Or was it that she wasn't in the right frame of mind?

When the fight began, Gabrielle instantly knew that it had something to do with her soulmate. Someone was accusing Xena of her dark ways.

Every traveler from here to Corinth had a story of Xena leading an army. Even slaughtering women, children and the elderly? Who could be doing such heinous things.

Revenge was not a way to live one's life. Gabrielle hadn't felt it but had heard enough stories of Xena's early warlord days. It was what had brought about the destroyer of nations.

As they traveled toward Corinth in search of answers, Gabrielle could see what the looks and whispers were doing to her soulmate.

It wasn't easy to witness the hidden expression. In the past, Gabrielle would have thought it was because Xena didn't care or was remaining stoic.

Now that Gabrielle had traveled for so long with her warrior princess, the bard knew better. Xena was hurting inside. But she would never show it as it was a sign of weakness.

Except in front of Gabrielle when they were alone. Confiding the fact Xena had once upon a time wanted to see fear in other people's eyes. That she was driven by doing whatever it would take to make people terrified. It meant the warrior princess was doing her job properly.

The interruption by Joxer was welcomed in some ways. After he began speaking, it was unwelcomed. There was something about the warrior wannabe that Gabrielle took an instant disliking to.

It could be Joxer tried too hard. That he couldn't be happy with who he was so he pretended to be more. Perhaps he had a reason for wanting to be such a loathsome thing as a warlord.

Unfortunately, it wasn't long after Joxer finally got the message and had left Xena alone that another who wanted revenge found them.

As Gabrielle attempted to explain to the young man how easily it would have been for Xena to kill him, she could see the hatred. How it was easier for Melas to hold onto the hate then even think Xena might be innocent.

It was difficult to keep track of Xena, not that her warrior princess couldn't handle herself in battle. Something felt different this time.

It wasn't because they had admitted their feelings for one another, finally. It was because someone was messing with the redemption Xena was seeking but would never allow herself.

The stranger was good. There was no denying she was nearly as good as Xena. But there was something Gabrielle couldn't place her finger on. It was as if the unknown warrior was dead inside.

Now Melas believed. But he still wanted revenge. As Xena had said, at least she could try and keep him alive. Because the warrior princess knew the type. There was no stopping him from seeking revenge.

They made some distance from the latest village to be savaged by Callisto before making camp. Gabrielle ached as Melas spoke of not sleeping since he'd buried his son.

Gabrielle grew even sadder when she realized the only thing Melas thought would ease his pain was revenge. Not just any kind of revenge. The young man wanted blood.

While Melas worried Gabrielle, it was Xena that concerned the bard. Something had transpired between the warrior princess and Callisto.

The bard had heard enough to know that something had happened in Cirra. It involved Callisto. But exactly what it was remained a mystery. But it was what was causing Xena to sit alone by the fire and stare into the flames.

It was flames to be blamed for the torture Xena was bringing upon herself. It was the one time women and children had been harmed during her warlord days.

It came back to revenge. Callisto was one of the few survivors. Who knew how many she knew and loved had been accidentally killed in that fire. How many she would blame Xena for.

Xena couldn't blame Callisto? How was that even possible. There was no excuse for killing. Melas was a good man, beneath the rage. At one time, Xena had been the daughter of an innkeeper. Somebody had to say no to the lust of revenge.

The bard hoped she would never have to know exactly how difficult it would be to know what the lust for revenge can do to a person.

As Gabrielle listened, she remembered exactly what she had felt while hitting the tree. Yes, it was releasing the grief. But it was also wanting to seek revenge. If she had not been so focused on saving the village... More importantly, she had been focused on bringing Xena's body home to Amphipolis.

Bloodlust. It was something Gabrielle had never known. Xena had. And she had overcome it. But if something were to happen to Mother, Hercules or the bard…

That was one line Gabrielle could not have her soulmate crossing. It would be blood upon her own soul. Looking into those azure eyes, that were violet in the firelight, she could see the pain. The beginning of a tear.

Love! It had to be the answer. The love the soulmates shared was beyond words. It hadn't even begun to be explored. There was no way Xena would taint that love by seeking revenge.

It didn't go unnoticed how Xena refused to promise. She said she loved her and admired her, but there was no mention of not seeking revenge.

Gabrielle had to push her soulmate to make that promise. There would be no attempt at sleep if the bard did not receive the promise. It was what the bard was working for, along with redeeming her warrior princess. Ending the cycle of hatred and violence.

Neither could sleep. It was to be a long day. But they knew where they needed to be. They just had to be there before Callisto.

Part of that meant separating so they could find Callisto. It meant Gabrielle had an interesting encounter with the warrior wannabe Joxer.

Gabrielle's staff received quite a workout as Joxer would not stop attacking her. Even when she told him to stay down, he continued to attempt to best her. Finally, the bard was able to finish her part of the plan.

They were able to thwart Callisto's efforts. Or was it her plan to draw out Xena? Whichever way, they now had to chase after Callisto.

Gabrielle had to warn her warrior princess. An angry mob was being organized by Melas. Callisto wasn't afraid to die. It didn't make it right to allow her to die at the hands of those only thinking of revenge and not justice.

The bard seemed not to have conviction as she attempted to tell Xena not to listen to Callisto. Why? It wasn't because she didn't believe Callisto was wrong. It was because she knew Xena would eternally blame herself for what happened to the people of Cirra, even Callisto.

Let her go? Gabrielle couldn't believe her soulmate was even thinking about allowing Callisto to roam free. There was a difference between Xena and Callisto. There was no changing the young woman. Her heart and soul had been eaten away by hatred.

Listening to Callisto only confirmed exactly what Gabrielle had been attempting to say. Callisto couldn't see the remorse in Xena's eyes. She couldn't see that the warrior princess was offering her a chance to reform, to make amends.

Once again, Gabrielle was seeing hatred. It wasn't only on the part of Callisto. Melas and the villagers were showing it. It would be a difficult task to keep them reined in.

As Xena watched Callisto in the jail, Gabrielle was intent on calming the crowd. The only problem? Another encounter with the inept Joxer.

Trade her to Callisto? Gabrielle didn't have time for this nonsense. To be blunt, Joxer just didn't have the warrior mystique.

Gabrielle was sorry that family tradition just wouldn't work out for Joxer, but he needed to leave her alone so she could do what she needed to do.

Just as Gabrielle was about to make her way to the jail to join Xena, a commotion broke out. Worse, Callisto broke out of the jail and took the bard.

Was it wise to be baiting Callisto? Probably not, but for some reason, Gabrielle couldn't help herself. She'd always been one to brag about Xena's abilities. But since their declared love for one another, it seemed to come even more naturally.

Bait. It wasn't the first time Gabrielle had been used as bait. It wouldn't be the last time. Even though she was now a fighter, she was no warrior princess. Their relationship, as lovers or friends, would always cause her to be a target.

No matter what, Gabrielle found herself in danger. Joxer showing up only made things worse as he too was tied up. But at least he wasn't hanging from how many feet in the air.

At least it wasn't long until Xena arrived. It was the usual vacant expression that the warrior princess went about her business.

The moves Xena made would be difficult to place into words. There was no way anyone not watching would believe just how magical and what the warrior princess was capable of.

The rope continued to burn as Callisto changed the game. It wouldn't be long until Gabrielle was plummeting to her certain death. It wasn't helping her calls for hurry or Joxer yelling.

What was even more amazing then what all Xena did to save Gabrielle was the fact the warrior princess managed to save Callisto from certain death.

Was Gabrielle truly glad Callisto was saved? While it ended, at least on Xena's part, the cycle of hatred and violence, it left the madwoman alive.

It was now up to Callisto whether she took that second chance. Gabrielle hoped seeing the sacrifice Xena made to save an innocent and to save her life would do just that. Was there too much hatred and anger inside the young woman?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena could never relax, especially when they were in a tavern. Gabrielle had just done an amazing job of telling one of her tales, embarrassing the warrior princess in the process.

A drink was something Xena rarely indulged in anymore. It was too easy for anyone, no matter their level of control, to fall prey to the substance.

Especially someone like Xena, who had so many things from her past, that she would like to forget. But they were also the things that fueled the way she lived. It was a double-edged sword. Something common for the warrior princess.

When the man came in demanding wine, it was a sign Xena didn't really need to attempt to drown out whatever she was attempting to this time. Most likely, it wasn't the evils of her past. It was the heroics Gabrielle had told of.

The reaction to her name wasn't uncommon. Some would forever hate the tarnished name. Even with all the good she attempted to do.

The man was not a fighter, that was certain. Xena felt sorry for him for attempting to kill her. But when he told her why he was so bent on taking her life, she froze.

What the Tartarus was he referring to? Even in her darkest of days, Xena never killed women and children. It had been her men wanting to kill a baby that had been the beginning of the warrior princess' rebirth.

Every traveler between here and Corinth had a similar story to tell? That meant Xena and Gabrielle needed to head to Corinth. See if they could discover what was happening. Who was behind these despicable actions.

When choruses joined in saying what Melas had said was true, it was time to leave. Of course, Xena couldn't leave without Gabrielle, for several reasons. Now, because they were more than friends. They were soulmates.

The threat to have his vengeance did not go on deaf ears. Xena knew that lust. She knew what it could do. She had become the warrior princess. And eventually, the destroyer of nations.

As they made their way toward Corinth, there were men and women. The fear plastered across their faces was once what Xena had craved.

Though she was capable of masking her emotions under most circumstances, it was difficult to maintain her stoic façade. Especially when her soulmate asked if she was all right.

Xena had to explain how she had been fueled by the expression on the strangers' faces. Nightmares were made of these. And so much more. Things she would never express to anyone, especially her bard.

Joxer? Never heard of him. He looked like he belonged in the fields, not with all the so-called armor upon his body. If he wanted a reputation, he needed to steer clear of Xena.

Lust for blood? Xena knew the man would probably faint at the sight of blood. Just taking him the nose had Joxer at a disadvantage. Masculine prowess? The warrior princess couldn't help shaking her head.

Sadly, it wasn't long before Melas was making an attempt at to take his revenge. There was a small part of Xena that wanted to do more than tie up the confused, grieving young man. If only so he would be safe from himself and from whoever was doing heinous acts in Xena's name.

The sight was something Xena used to enjoy so much. It was a site she would be responsible for. It was easy to let fly her chakram to stop the devastation.

What was so unexpected was seeing someone catching and holding her chakarm. The blonde-haired woman was dressed in leather. She was relishing the fact she held the weapon of choice. Even taunting Xena to come and get it.

The conversation and fight were unlike anything Xena had experienced. Someone had wanted revenge. It had begun by reviving her reputation. But adding to it the heinous act of killing women and children. Why?

Cirra? Even the strong of stomach warrior princess was nearly ill at the thought of the village she had attacked. It was the one time when young, old, male and female had had their lives ended.

Before Xena could even discover the woman's name, she was off. Luckily, one of her men was easily captured. Perhaps too easily captured.

While Xena was grateful for the information, it seemed too easy the man would tell him her name was Callisto. That she was seeking revenge.

It wasn't only to tarnish Xena's reputation, which she'd already succeeded in doing. It was also defeating the warrior princess in battle.

It was too easy knowing where Callisto was headed. Xena would have to be cautious. But a warning was needed, regardless. If the warrior princess created her, she would be the one to destroy her.

Melas' apology meant nothing. After all, it could have easily been true, not that long ago. The fact his anger and revenge were now focused on a dangerous kind of person meant he would need protecting.

They'd traveled as far as they dare, if only because the darkness was now everywhere. Callisto had a decent head start. Hopefully, with the light of day, they could find her, before she killed someone.

Xena could hear the conversation. She knew exactly what Melas was experiencing. When she had brought home Lyceus' body to her mother…

How had that turned Xena into the hateful, vengeful person she had become? Yes, Caesar had pushed her into a new level of darkness, but it was her brother's death that had been the beginning of her evil ways.

Leave it to Gabrielle to attempt to force Xena to think of things she would rather not think about. To this very day, she would have nightmare after nightmare. Cirra was one of her darkest moments and haunted her the most.

Cirra was a village like most Xena had attacked. While she was Tartarus bent on taking everything she could from the village, she had never intended on any of her warriors killing women and children.

Those unable to fight were huddled in their homes or barns. They sought refuge with one another. When the fire had broke out, it had swept through the village.

It was as if Xena truly were the instrument of death that day. That it was her will to have all those innocents killed. It was a day she would loathe for the rest of eternity.

Xena truly didn't blame Callisto for wanting revenge. It was what the warrior princess had wanted for her home village. And especially after the death of her brother.

Gabrielle was young and naïve if she thought it was that easy to say no to revenge. Yes, Xena had managed to do just that. But how many seasons had it taken? How many lives had been ruined, or worse, ended?

It had taken so much for Xena to realize what she had become. But if something were to happen to Hercules or her mother…

Even the thought of something happening to her bard had Xena seething. How could Gabrielle expect the warrior princess not to seek revenge?

Xena should have known she couldn't get away with saying she liked her and not to change. Gabrielle knew her too well. There was no one, not even her mother, that knew the warrior princess.

After looking into emerald eyes, Xena knew she had to promise. There was only one thing. Would the warrior princess be able to maintain that promise?

Nearly the entire night was spent with Gabrielle holding the warrior princess. Xena could not rest. It wasn't the fear of nightmares. It was knowing she could so easily disappoint the woman she loved.

Before the sun had even thought about rising, Xena and her bard had made it to Delphi. It wouldn't be long before the oracle would arrive, which meant Callisto was somewhere in the large village.

Xena hated separating, but it would be the fastest way to tack down the madwoman. Give a yell was the same as saying please be careful and that she loved her bard.

As soon as the oracle was sited, so was Callisto. Luckily, Xena was ready. And now she had her weapon at her side. It was time to capture Callisto and bring her to justice.

Bringing her to justice wouldn't be easy. Callisto was about to have her legs broken if she didn't stop kicking Argo. The horse was trained only to obey Xena's commands.

There was no way Xena could explain why she had changed her ways and Callisto would believe it. The most difficult part would be the lives affected by her heinous acts. Worse for those that were left alive.

Xena had known the apology wouldn't be accepted. So why had she said it? Because she truly was sorry. At the same time, she knew nothing could or would ever make up for the things she had done.

A mob. Xena should have expected it when Melas had remained with the villagers. If he couldn't personally seek the revenge, he would make certain Callisto was punished.

Gabrielle could never understand the fact Xena shouldn't be forgiven for her past misdeeds. She could never redeem herself, no matter if she spent this life, and every life, fighting for the greater good.

Did Xena sleep well at night? That was easy to answer. The only nights she had even a somewhat decent night's sleep were the nights she had been lucky enough to hold her bard in her arms.

There was one of the too numerous reasons why Xena would never be able to be redeemed. She had never stood trial for any of her crimes. To date, the closest she had come was when Ares had set her up so she needed him.

It was a longshot, but Xena had to ask. If she had changed, why couldn't Callisto? Gabrielle arguing against the act of letting her go surprised the warrior princess. The fact Callisto laughed at her was not surprising or shocking.

Callisto's promise sealed her fate. At least sealed the fact she was to be taken back to the village for them to judge. If it had been up to Xena, she would have attempted to change her. But Callisto made it crystal clear. She didn't want to change. She would dedicate her life to killing anything and anyone who had ever meant anything to the warrior princess.

Xena was torn. After the threat, the warrior princess wanted to kill Callisto herself. If only so that her mother or Gabrielle were not harmed.

But seeing the anger and hatred in the mob's eyes, Xena knew she had to protect Callisto, if only so she could be placed on trial.

More taunts. Some were penetrating Xena's mental armor. Allowing the crowd to have Callisto's blood would be the easy way out. One thing the warrior princess had learned was how the easy way could lead to evil, even when seeking the greater good.

Was it true? Was Xena a sentimental fool? Perhaps. Or perhaps she had learned what someone like Callisto could never learn.

What was that? Gabrielle's voice entered Xena's mind. It was sweet. It was naïve. But it was the truest of all. Love had to be the answer. Hatred, anger and revenge had to be stopped.

The mob had ruled. The jail was now on fire. Xena wouldn't allow for it to end this way. But somehow, Callisto had freed herself. In a way, the warrior princess had to be impressed. It was out of her own playbook.

Luckily, Xena wasn't out of tricks. She managed to free herself, nearly as easily. The fact they had kidnapped Gabrielle was not shocking. Who among the villagers truly meant anything to the warrior princess.

It was true. When in doubt, Xena listened to Gabrielle. When things were at their darkest, she seemed to be able to see the light. She had yet to give into the hatred and need for revenge.

It didn't take long to find Callisto's encampment. It came down to this. Gabrielle was placed in danger as Callisto attempted to impede Xena's progress.

There was no time to really think. The only thing Xena could focus on was her next move. What would lead her to her bard. There was no way she could lose Gabrielle. Not before she had kissed her.

Though she heard the sounds of their voices, Xena couldn't say what Gabrielle or Joxer were saying. Her focus was on Callisto and the burning rope.

Finally, Gabrielle was safe. Xena could have allowed Callisto to fall to her death. But it wasn't in her nature anymore. Callisto would answer for her crimes. It was up to others to pass judgement.

Callisto had wanted Xena to extinguish the rage that burned in her heart. The warrior princess understood. At the end of the day, Xena could do no less than save Callisto and hope she could one day learn do what she had. Fight for the greater good.

It was the right thing to do. Xena overheard Callisto. Would it come back to haunt them? Only time would tell. For now, it was time to move onto their next adventure. And attempt to recover from all the memories brought forth by Callisto.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Another campfire. Another night alone. Joxer had headed in a different direction. Melas hopefully had returned home.

It left Xena and Gabrielle in the darkness of a camp, with only the light of the campfire to light their way. In a way, that wasn't true. At least it wasn't true for Xena.

Xena knew if she were to overcome what Callisto had done to her, she needed to speak of past events. There were some she may never be able to speak of, unless she was forced to.

This was now known. It had to be spoken of. More than what she had told Gabrielle at the campfire. Though Melas had been grieving, Xena had not wanted to take a chance the young man overheard what she had to say.

"I want you to know something." Xena, for once, was not wearing her armor. She was not in her leathers. Yes, her sword was within reach, as was her chakram. But she was as vulnerable as she allowed herself.

Xena's bedroll lay at the foot of a tree. She was leaning against it, staring into the crackling fire. Gabrielle was sitting next to her. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep my promise."

Gabrielle turned to her soulmate. There was a part of her that was angry. But after listening to Callisto and Melas, she was beginning to understand.

While the answer was love, the cycle of hatred and violence wasn't easy to break. Even Gabrielle was tempted when she had thought Xena had perished.

"I know." Gabrielle maintained her gaze into a sea of darkness. Normally so bright, the past few days had taken their toll on her soulmate's eyes.

"You do?" Xena hadn't expected the simple response. For someone like Gabrielle to understand, it was something the warrior princess wouldn't have thought possible.

"I saw what Melas' son's death did to him. I saw what Callisto's lost did to her." Gabrielle turned so that she was staring into the fire.

"I heard how Callisto would not hesitate in harming anyone you cared about." Gabrielle continued to stare into the fire. "It wouldn't be about my death or Cyrene's or Hercule's. It would be stopping Callisto from harming anyone ever again."

"At one time in my life, that would have been the only way to stop me." Xena's gaze joined the fire. It was hypnotic. It was calming. Yet, it could be so destructive.

"I was like Callisto. I was waiting for someone to overpower me." Xena took a deep breath. "To end the hatred that burned within."

"Unlike Callisto, I didn't target just one person. It could have been Cortese I focused on." The list went on for those that Xena could have singled out.

"Instead, I chose to take revenge on the entire known world." Xena felt the movement but did not turn her gaze from the licking flames.

"I sought power. I sought dinars. I sought anything and everything." Xena once again took in a deep breath as she felt her soulmate snuggle next to her.

Without thought, their hands intertwined. It gave Xena the strength to continue. To continue to face the worst of her past. After all, Gabrielle was the best of her present and her future.

"There were a handful of others who attempted to reach me. The person I had been before Cortese. Before I became a soulless vengeful person." It wasn't pleasant, but it was a proper way to describe who she had been.

"It wasn't until a child. An innocent baby that I finally started to realize just what I had become." Xena finally turned from the flames.

"Yes, Hercules led me to a path. It was an uncertain path. I could continue to follow it." Xena was now staring into her bard's eyes.

They were not quite as dark before. Yes, the flames were giving them a hint of light brown. But it wasn't why they were not so dark.

Xena realized it was because this was one of the few times she had openly spoken of her past. Without attempting to change the subject or shy away from some of the darker details. Yet, she was failing to express all the details.

"It wasn't until my path led me just outside a village." Xena leaned a little closer to her bard. "It was a village I'd heard of and even been to as a child. But had never been allowed to remain to explore."

Gabrielle wondered if it was regret. She wondered what would have happened if there had been a chance meeting between the two. Because of the age difference, perhaps nothing would have changed. Or maybe everything would have changed.

The fact Xena had leaned in had Gabrielle's heart racing. Her breathing was picking up. The nearness of her soulmate was becoming too great for her.

There was also the pain. So much self punishment by the warrior princess. While others would call for a judgment upon Xena, Gabrielle knew her soulmate punished herself every single moment, both waking and sleeping.

"I'm beginning to believe something." Gabrielle closed the distance between them. "There is such a thing in this world. Two souls that are drawn together. No matter the time, place or circumstances, eventually they will find one another."

Xena swallowed at the closeness. She wanted to kiss her bard. But she would not be the one to make the first move. It would always be her bard.

"I once shared a poem with Iolaus. I didn't realize I was speaking of us." Gabrielle swallowed. She knew what this was leading to. She only hoped Xena would allow it to happen.

"Once, a long, long time ago, all people had four legs and two heads. And then the gods threw down thunderbolts and split everyone into two. Each half then had two legs and one head. But the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited. Because they each shared the same soul. And ever since then, all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul."

Gabrielle didn't wait for a response, instead, she closed the distance between them. The bard had been kissed only a couple times in her life. She regretted her first kiss not being her soulmate.

Xena had thought she had been kissed. But she now knew. Physical love, no matter if merely a kiss or making love, was nothing without the emotion of love behind it.

One day, not tonight, but one day they would both learn exactly what the physical act could be like with the other half of one's soul. With love behind every touch and taste.


	23. Chapter 23

Family. It's always been so important to us both. There are some difficult memories that I can't face at the moment. I know as I continue these chronicles, I'll have to force myself to.

Until then, I'll focus on the fact that Xena, even after we admitted our feelings, continued to keep things from me. Things that were something one should share with their soulmate.

I'm not judging Xena or saying she was wrong. I'm saying that, without her dark past, my soulmate would have confided in me. She would have informed me she had a living, older brother.

There's also the matter of her son. But again, memories associated with Solan cut me to the very core. I attempt to hold onto the happy memories when it comes to our son.

I have to swallow and take a moment. So many painful memories. It's why I write these chronicles, partly. Mostly, it's to hold onto all the love we've shared.

Meeting Toris was…I can't put into words exactly what it was like. To me, Toris was more like Xena than either cared to admit.

The one thing that separated them was the one thing that nearly destroyed Toris. It was, simply, self-confidence. If only Toris had believed in himself and the villagers, he might not have been afraid and hid.

Not that I could blame him. Before I met Xena, I'm not certain what I would have done in the same exact position. I've always been different, and in my own way a fighter, but before my soulmate I lacked self-confidence.

The years were not kind to Toris. He continued to allow the guilt to eat away at him. He even abandoned Cyrene when she could have used him the most. It probably added to his guilt

Eventually the guilt turned to a need for vengeance. Something Xena knew a great deal about, but I was still learning. I wouldn't know what true vengeance was until…

I take a breath. I'm handed hot cider. The evenings now have a chill to them. There are better ways to warm up and will happen later tonight, if a certain warrior princess behaves herself.

I receive a playful swat to my shoulder as Xena settles near the fire. Soon, the project she has been working upon will be complete. As with my soulmate, her timing will be impeccable.

My thoughts return to Toris. I wish we could have done more for the young man. I wish we could have made him see that seeking revenge was not the answer.

Worst, Toris could never believe that his mother would forgive him. He spent the rest of his years wandering, much like we did.

Unlike us, Toris never discovered love. He never allowed himself to be loved. He never realized what my soulmate learned.

One can live a full life without forgiving one's self or accepting the forgiveness of others. One can put aside the guilt and hate one has for themselves, if only for the sake of others.

At first, Xena chose a child's life. After that, she chose fighting for those that could not fight for themselves. I think that's what kept her going.

There was making her mother proud once again. But then, we met. She began to see the world as I did. It wasn't all warlords, anger, hate, dinars, power and vengeance.

We were saddened when we heard of Toris' death. It was alone. After wandering for twenty plus years, he had settled outside a small village as far from Amphipolis as he could. But he never had family or friends. If only Toris had learned what his sister had…

DEATHMASK

Learning. It was something Gabrielle could never get enough of. There were some things that Xena refused to teach her, such as the pinch. The bard would never stop trying.

Catching arrows was one of the more amazing skills Xena possessed. Gabrielle had been fascinated the first time she had witnessed the amazing feat. But how could one do such a thing, even as talented as her soulmate was?

Stop trying? Gabrielle couldn't understand what Xena was attempting to tell her. How could she attempt to stop trying, without fear of the arrow meeting its target?

Body has to listen? Gabrielle was more confused than ever. Though there were times when she would sit by the fire and somehow sensed when Xena was near. It could be because of their newfound love. Or it could be something more.

Definitely would have her if Gabrielle failed to hear the arrow coming. It was not something she wanted to think about. Not after how close her soulmate had recently come to meeting her demise. Or how she herself had been dangling how high above the ground as two warriors fought. One to free her. One to allow her to fall to her death.

Gabrielle merely reacted. Her staff came in handy as it caught the arrow. Finally, she had done it. How had she done it? Once again, Xena was telling her to get back. Hadn't the bard shown she could fight by now?

With luck, Gabrielle didn't need her warrior's help. As she said, not this time. Next time, the bard might not be so lucky. And she would eternally need her soulmate.

Now it was time to discover who the man was and why they had attacked. The pinch. Once again, Gabrielle wanted to ask to be shown. But now was not the time. Would there be a time?

The way Xena reacted to the name Cortese, Gabrielle knew it had special meaning. It was a warlord, given. But who was it and what connection did he have to Xena?

The man who had attacked Xena's village. Gabrielle had only known her warrior had been protecting Amphipolis from a warlord. That it had cost her brother his life and led the warrior princess down a road of darkness and revenge.

Or aggressive as Gabrielle had politely attempted to describe what Xena had turned into. Twisted was a better way of describing the destroyer of nations.

The first thing Gabrielle saw when they made it to the village was the little girl. She heard the woman calling for Leia. The bard had to think fast to save her.

It didn't take much to run the warriors out of the village. Just as soldiers arrived. What Gabrielle couldn't understand was why they hadn't continued the chase.

Gabrielle hated to think the warriors would get away with attempting to loot and destroy the village, all because of boundaries. Of course the captain noticed how well Xena fought.

The fact the captain admitted that it had to be Cortese because he was always one step ahead caused Gabrielle to shudder. It could mean a lot of things. A spy. Someone taking a bribe. The times being what they were…

Tracking the warriors didn't mean Gabrielle couldn't continue to wonder about how Xena caught arrows the way she did. Had she truly felt the warrior haze as she caught the arrow? Or was she just saying that. The fact it would only take one time missing…

The stranger upon a horse wearing the mask of Cortese interrupted Gabrielle's musings. He remained as if studying them or inviting them to meet.

Brother? Gabrielle was under the impression Lyceus had been killed by Cortese, or at least one of his men. Older brother? Yet another thing Xena had kept from the bard.

Everyone had surprises it seemed. Xena hadn't revealed her older brother. And Toris was now revealing he wore the mask of Cortese so that he could kill him.

Instead of speaking, a campfire was made. Food was being prepared. No one was speaking. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, for the bard.

Gabrielle bridged the silence by referencing her sister and her cooking skills. That was followed up by how she and Lila had argued quite a bit. Finally, she attempted to show how it should be a touching reunion since brother and sister hadn't seen one another in so many years.

Leave it to her warrior princess to be direct. Assassin was perhaps a little strong of a word. In a way, it was how one could describe Toris.

Already it was clear that Toris was only interested in revenge. He was sounding a little too like Melas. In other words, Toris would do nearly anything to gain his revenge.

Justice? Gabrielle needed to interrupt this boisterous reunion. Xena didn't want to see her brother follow her path. Toris couldn't understand what true justice was.

Feed Argo? It took a moment for Gabrielle to understand the siblings needed a moment or two alone. Luckily, she and Argo had come to an understanding.

It seemed like an eternity but was only a few moments. When Gabrielle returned, she was asked to guard the village. There was no way she would be left behind when there was adventure to be had.

Gabrielle only hoped she wasn't to stern when she made certain Xena knew she knew what her warrior princess had been up to. Until there was a plan, she would practice with her staff.

It wasn't long before Toris had returned. He was pacing wondering why it was taking Xena so long to return. Gabrielle was relaxing by continuing with her staff.

Fifteen or twenty? Might take a little bit, but Xena would easily be able to escape. Hopefully she would have the answers they needed.

What was Gabrielle doing? She was practicing what Xena had imparted on her. Listening with her body. It wasn't as easy as it sounded.

Doing to Gabrielle as Xena had done to their village? What exactly did that mean? While it was true the bard was learning to fight and was in danger, it was her choice. She had begged for Xena to take her with her. Toris knew not of what he spoke of.

In any case, why was Toris so worried? Gabrielle had to point out the fact he remained and had expressed concern. Of course, he denied it.

Xena chose that moment to return. Gabrielle was grateful. There was something about Toris she just didn't like. She couldn't quite place her finger upon it.

Gabrielle chose to be overexuberant in her greeting of her warrior princess, if only to show Toris what true concern sounded like.

Messenger pigeons with the royal crest upon it. That meant there was a spy in the castle. It meant Cortese knew everything the king knew. It made things that much more difficult.

At Xena's tone, Gabrielle knew it was time to guard the village. Was it really easier for two to gain access than three? In a way, yes. But the bard knew it was so her warrior princess could keep track of Toris easier.

How was one to occupy themselves when they would rather be where the action was? Gabrielle would continue to train. It was her new friend Leia sending arrows at her. Unfortunately, the bard was not very successful in repeating her one-time achievement.

In a way, Gabrielle was grateful when Xena and Toris returned. It prevented more abuse by the fake arrows. However, the news that the king and Cortese were one in the same was not happy news.

Murder? Gabrielle had to swallow. She'd seen murder. It was not justice. The bard wanted to inform Toris exactly what she knew about justice and murder.

For now, Gabrielle was more concerned with her new little friend and the rest of the villagers. They were the ones who were suffering. Not a man Tartarus bent on revenge.

Once again, Gabrielle had to attempt to use her words to convince someone Xena was there to help them. While she understood, in a way, the warrior princess' presence actually placed them in danger, she was there to fight for their freedom.

It wasn't Xena's reputation this time that was banishing her. In a way, Gabrielle knew it was for the best. The villagers would be safer, at least in the immediate future.

Now that both the king's army and the raiders were searching for them, the village was better off without them. Even before Xena had said it, part of Gabrielle had known. At least she was able to remain.

Especially since Toris had disappeared during the distraction. It was up to Xena to find him, save him and end Cortese' reign of terror. Once and for all.

It wasn't long after Xena had left to save her brother that Sera was running up. Gabrielle had known it was a possibility, but always expected her warrior princess to pull through without her needing rescuing.

As always, it was entertaining once Gabrielle caught up to Xena. A fight. But it ended unlike most would ever expect. Cortese, aka the king, ordered the raiders to surrender.

There was one that refused to lay down his sword. Gabrielle watched as he was defeated by her soulmate. And watched as Toris was given the opportunity to take revenge upon Cortese.

Xena described it perfectly. There was blood upon the warrior princess' hands that would never wash off. It might only be in her mind, but it would forever remain. Gabrielle knew how proud Lyceus would be after Toris dropped his sword, even without having met the young man.

Gabrielle watched as Toris screamed in agony but allowed for his sword to fall to the ground. Revenge was easy to crave. But it wasn't always easy to take, if you were like Toris or the bard.

Gabrielle waited at the temporary encampment as Xena said goodbye to her brother. The bard had wanted to get to know Toris better, if only to understand her warrior princess better.

It wasn't easy. Loving someone and they not sharing things with you. Gabrielle had not shared everything. But it was different. Xena refused to tell her the most obvious. And it hurt. More than the bard would ever admit.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Xena had never thought she was a teacher. But the more she and her bard traveled together, she couldn't help but impart some of her wisdom.

There were a few skills that Xena would, hopefully, never share with her bard. Catching arrows was not one the warrior princess preferred to share. If only because if one were to miss…

It was difficult to put into words that Gabrielle might be able to understand. It went back to Lao Ma and what she had attempted to teach her.

Stop willing. Stop trying. If one is able to do both, one can do many things. One of them was to sense things even without seeing them.

And if one misses…? It wasn't something Xena wanted to think about. She had just admitted her feelings for her bard. There was no way she could lose her.

If there wasn't immediate danger, Xena would have taken the time to be impressed. She might even tell Gabrielle how amazing it had been for her to catch the arrow with her staff.

It was becoming clearer how great a fighter Gabrielle was becoming. Xena hated to see it, for many reasons. One was how her bard might one day surpass her and not need her.

Back to the man Xena had defeated. She would know the mask anywhere. It was what had led to this moment. The darkness. The evil. The ruthlessness. Thankfully to the path she was on now.

The pinch. Most would give anything for it to be taken off. It was Cortese as Xena had thought. Attacking the village, of course.

Who was Cortese? Xena hated to answer but knew she must. He was the one who had created the being that Ares was able to mold into the warrior princess.

Aggressive? That was one way to describe how Xena was. It was better to term it as twisted. And in some ways, was still the right word.

Once again, the warrior's skills came in handy. It wasn't long before the raiders were retreating. Gabrielle had saved a young girl. Another reason to love her and be proud of her.

Just as the last of the raiders was retreating, the king's soldiers arrived. There was a border they couldn't cross. It left it up to Xena to find where the raiders were encamped.

In some ways, Xena wished she could be more like Gabrielle. She was obsessed with how she had caught the arrow. The warrior princess was no longer capable to look at the past. She had to look to the future. But most importantly, focus on the present.

The thought of the lone arrow nearly caused Xena to become sick. On too many occasions, the warrior princess had nearly lost her bard already. The last time to a woman Xena was technically responsible for creating.

As soon as Toris revealed himself, Xena knew she would have a great deal of explaining. She had neglected to inform Gabrielle of her brother, if only because she knew she was dead to him.

Seeing Toris brought back so many memories. Ones Xena attempted to keep buried. Even though she loved Lyceus more than anything in the world, she couldn't focus on that part of her life. Not and continue seeking redemption.

The mask. The one that Xena would never forget had adorned Toris' face. It was so he could grow closer to Cortese. And then what?

Kill him. Xena knew what that could lead to. It wasn't revenge. It was murder. The blood would forever be staining Toris' hands if he were to do as he intended.

Once again, Xena found herself sitting by a campfire. Gabrielle was cooking. More than that, she was attempting to bridge the gap between siblings.

It was not exactly what Xena had meant to say. But it was an apt description for what Toris was becoming. The moment he killed Cortese, he could be considered nothing less than an assassin.

Xena had to convince her brother, somehow, that killing Cortese was not justice. It would be murder, pure and simple. And someone who was pure of heart, there was no recovering from that.

Once again, Gabrielle attempted to diffuse the situation by offering something to eat. It was needed. But what was needed more was some time alone with Toris.

What did Toris see? Was it something to be proud of? In a way, yes. If only because Xena and Lyceus had chosen to fight. To stand up for their entire village, instead of running to the hills.

But after Lyceus had perished, no, that was something not to be proud of. Yet, Xena would fight again if it meant saving her village. She would hopefully be able to succeed, without so much loss of life.

Though Xena knew it would most likely be rejected, she had to attempt to have Gabrielle return to the village. She needed more time alone with her brother. Plus, it would be easier with just the two of them.

The way Gabrielle stood up to her…? Xena couldn't help smiling. Her bard was growing into a strong, young woman before her very eyes. Their shared love had something to do with that, she was certain. Still…

Though Xena wanted to say as much, now was the time to make certain Cortese was taken care of. Once and for all. Malik. She hadn't heard of him but it didn't mean he wasn't dangerous. In fact, she was counting on what he would do to women.

Xena knew Toris didn't want to leave her at the mercy of the others. Even without having met in years, he had to know her reputation. She could handle herself in most situations.

Get right to it? Malik was her kind of man. Except that he was pure evil and would have harmed her on so many levels. It was worth it finding the paper with the royal crest upon it.

The greeting from her bard was a little more exuberant than usual. It must have something to do with how Toris was reacting to the situation.

Toris was getting on her nerves. Xena knew he wanted his revenge, but he had to believe in her. That she knew what she was doing.

A spy would be one reason for the royal crest. But there could be another explanation. It wasn't something Xena thought could be but knew by now that anything was possible.

It was time to see the king. But it meant Gabrielle needed to remain in the village. While the bard was not happy about it, for now she was understanding.

Xena used her normal way of persuasion to gain access to the castle. Their path was impeded by the captain. He didn't believe there was a spy yet allowed them access.

Leaving the weapons on the throne was not what Xena wanted, but to gain access to the king, it would be worth it. And when the king was revealed, it was the man Xena had sought since her village had been attacked.

Cortese easily baited Toris. Xena wouldn't fall for anything the warlord had to say. She would attempt to make him make the mistake.

Yes, it was cunning the scheme Cortese had devised. He could raid with his raiders and come back to the palace to live the life of luxury.

The plan was simple. Give Xena to the people so that the king saved face and Cortese could continue to raid the surrounding lands.

It wasn't fair, but the trap would hold the guards until they could go after Cortese. The coward had run when the odds weren't to his liking.

Taking out the next string of guards meant not harming them. Xena had an idea. It was something they had done as children. Their mother had hated it, but it had been so much fun and had made doing the chores a little more tolerable.

The elders needed to be consulted. The fact Cortese and the king were one in the same should change things. What did change things was the fact Xena was now wanted by the king. It meant they couldn't stay.

Toris still didn't understand murdering Cortese would not bring justice. It would rid the world of a warlord, but at what cost to her brother's soul?

If Toris only knew how Xena put up with Gabrielle. But that was something for another time. It was true her bard knew more about just than anyone she had ever met.

After listening to Toris, Xena was beginning to understand. But she needed him to put it into words. He was blaming himself for not fighting and for Lycues' death.

How could Xena get him to see? Killing Cortese would not ease the guilt that Toris felt each and every day. That nothing could make up for his actions or inactions. He had to learn to deal with it.

It was one vow Xena hoped to follow through with. She would do just about anything to keep from losing another brother. Especially to his own guilt.

It didn't surprise Xena that the elders didn't believe her. Worse was how Toris had left without her sensing him. She knew exactly where to find him.

It was no surprise Toris was gone or that it was a trap. One arrow and her brother would end in flames. She couldn't allow Malik to fully win. One more painful hit to the head.

In prison. It wasn't someplace Xena liked, but it did gain them access to the castle once again. However, Toris wasn't speaking to her. And when he did, Xena wanted to hurt him. It was his time. How could it not end badly with thoughts such as those?

Perhaps relating how Xena never had time to feel. Even after beating Cortese, she never felt anything. It became about greed. It became about power. Anything that could help her to forget Lyceus' death.

Was it as simple as premeditation? There had been a time when Xena had enjoyed a good kill. Now, she killed to save herself in battle. More importantly, she killed to save the life of innocents who could not defend themselves.

They managed to share a moment. Toris was sorry he had dragged her into this but was glad Xena was with him. It was a start. One she hoped would continue.

The captain wouldn't believe that Cortese was the king. But it served Xena's purpose. They managed to free themselves. When the captain informed them of the king's whereabouts, Xena knew he was lying. But first, a message was in order.

It all happened so fast, as it often did. A fight. Cortese was defeated. Malik wouldn't surrender but was taken care of. It left Toris to gain his version of justice.

Lyces would be proud. Toris had felt the hate and anger. He had even attempted to follow through with his plan. But in the end, he had allowed for true justice to be had.

Toris missed her. She had missed him. She understood how easy it was not to say it. It was time for Toris to return home. Hopefully, he would personally tell their mother she was alive and doing well.

One day, Xena would return to Amphipolis. It was too soon. One day, she would tell the one person in the world how much she loved Gabrielle. For now, it would remain between the two of them.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

A part Xena wanted to remain to see Cortese finally face justice. But there was another part that needed to distance herself.

In one way, Xena felt they were headed in the wrong direction. It would have been wonderful to truly catch up with Toris and to visit her mother.

It was too soon. Even with all the good deeds Xena and her soulmate had managed to perform together. Even with news that Xena was, in a way, settled with her soulmate.

There was something else Xena was worrying about. Had Toris begun to heal? Or was he still holding onto the years of guilt and frustration?

If Toris was anything like Xena, he could not easily begin the healing process. If it weren't for her bard, the warrior princess wouldn't be in the place she was in, mentally.

"Care for some of my specialty?" Gabrielle hated to interrupt. She could see Xena was hurting. It was why she had yet to ask about an unknown brother. Or anything else her soulmate was keeping from her.

Xena glanced across the fire. She had been staring into the flames. Toris was the only thing that could occupy her mind. Until hearing the soft request from her soulmate.

"The one with the red things?" Gabrielle nodded her head. "I'm sorry I didn't get to enjoy your meal earlier." Xena slowly rose and made her way to her soulmate.

The warrior princess knelt next to her soulmate. "I'm sorrier I didn't tell you about Toris. I should have told you, especially since we are more than just traveling companions."

Gabrielle placed the plate of her specialty near the campfire to keep it warm. "I was upset when you told me Toris was your brother. But I've learned something."

Xena wondered what her young companion had learned. "That I'm not the best when it comes to sharing my feelings or informing you of my past?"

The bard couldn't help the soft laughter. "There are some things in your past that are nearly impossible for you to think about, let alone speak of."

Gabrielle watched as her soulmate swallowed. "I'd say share if something could place us in danger, but with your past…"

A deep breath was taken. "But the fact I kept something family oriented from you…" Xena wasn't only referencing an unknown brother.

Sooner, rather than later, Xena knew she would have to tell Gabrielle about her son. The one she had left behind. If only for his safety.

"Look at me." Gabrielle was upset she hadn't been told about Toris. As she had said, there were things Xena may never be able to speak of, unless forced to. And it did hurt, but the bard understood, at least somewhat.

Cirra was one of those things. How was Xena to know there was a survivor that would seek revenge upon her? Would place untold thousands at risk?

Another was a brother who had run off, never to be heard from again. Gabrielle knew there were things she wouldn't want to speak of unless forced to.

"I will be upset when things like this come about." Gabrielle closed the distance between them. "The only thing we can do is to continue to talk, once they come to light. I don't want to force you to face anything you aren't capable of."

Azure eyes blinked several times. There were tears threatening to fall. The only one who had accepted her, faults and all, like her bard was doing now was her brother.

Not Toris. He had always been jealous of the connection between Xena and Lyceus. They seemed like kindred spirits. However, there was one major difference between them.

Xena was like Lyceus in the fact she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself and fight. Xena was more like Toris when it came to anger and blaming herself. And the need for vengeance.

Luckily, Toris hadn't taken it to the level Xena had or he never would have been able to live with himself. The warrior princess was barely able to live with her past.

If it wasn't for the understanding and love the woman before her was showing her, she might not have been able to recover. She might not be able to continue on the path she was on.

"There's only one flaw in that." Gabrielle moved away from her soulmate. Xena swallowed. "I'm not an expert on relationships, but there's one thing I do know."

Gabrielle waited. At one time, she was one of the most impatient people alive. But traveling with Xena had slowly taught herself to have some.

"Communication is the key." Xena managed to look Gabrielle in the eyes. "As I've shown twice since admitting my love for you, I'm not that great at it. Even when I should have and it nearly cost you your life."

"Xena, I love you. I love everything about you. Even the darkness because it made you who you are." Gabrielle took Xena in her arms. "There will be things that we will not be able to communicate fully."

Gabrielle continued to speak into Xena's ear. "I may make the mistake of not telling you something. It's called being a human being and making mistakes."

"Just know this. Love is what we share, as do we a soul." Gabrielle pulled back. She kissed her soulmate, surprising Xena. "We just have to overcome whenever one of us a human being."

If only the soulmates knew what lay ahead. The trials they would be placed in. And in the end, they would find one another in every lifetime.


	24. Chapter 24

War. It's never a good thing. But when it's a civil war, it's the worst. It places family against family. And normally for reasons that could easily be resolved, if only one is willing to actually communicate.

This was one time when we could have circumvented war. It would have taken a little longer, but the war could have waged on. Without me dying.

The sound of the door slamming doesn't surprise me. We both knew this would be one of the more difficult memories for Xena to face.

After all, had she listened to me, I wouldn't have been injured. I wouldn't have died. I wouldn't have had to fight to come back to my soulmate.

There are certain things which Xena will never forgive herself for, like there are certain things I'll never forgive myself for. Especially when those things could have been avoided.

I remember making the suggestion of taking the southern route. But Xena had been determined to take the shortest path to Athens.

Wasn't that how her life had spiraled out of control? Xena, after her brother's death, had taken the easiest path. And it had led to her life of a warlord.

I can't condemn her. She's a warrior. The shortest path is normally the easiest. Fighting is not something that one, normally, wants prolonged.

I find myself off track here. This is not about blame. There are so many things that happened during our travels that could have transpired differently.

If only we had communicated more. If only others had been honest with us. There are so many things that could have changed our paths. Our lives.

One of the many good things that came out of that day was Xenon. Without Xena's skills as a healer, he and Ephiny might not have made it.

Then there was the ending of a war. How many lives had been saved? It had taken years of healing, but those affected by the war had come to thrive.

And what about Xena and I? You would think the loss of her soulmate would have opened my soulmate more. In some ways, it made her even more silent.

There is one thing I can say for dying. It caused me to treasure life. Even more than before, if that was possible. As I've found while traveling with Xena, anything is possible.

Including dying and returning to your soulmate. It was only the first of many times we both would cease and fight to comeback.

But my first brush with death was an experience I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Yet, what happened after I returned. The way Xena became so…

IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE

Gabrielle had seen enough death and destruction. She didn't want to tempt fate and walk through a warzone. But her soulmate insisted it was the best course of action.

The fact this was more senseless than most wasn't lost on Gabrielle. Any war and the cost of life was horrendous. But the fact it was family against family caused it to be even more senseless.

To Gabrielle, the land didn't seem worth fighting over. But if it was the only passage between Thessaly and Mitoa, whoever controlled the passage controlled the area.

A sound Gabrielle had unfortunately heard on a few occasions caused her to pause. To ask what was it. It was someone in pain. In a warzone, that wasn't shocking.

It wasn't just anyone in pain. It was Ephiny. It wasn't only the gash causing the Amazon pain. Had it been that long since Gabrielle had seen her friend? The baby Ephiny carried was ready to be born.

War had struck once again. An innocent, attempting to defend his wife and child to be, was struck down. It left a very pregnant Ephiny to fend for herself. Hiding wasn't very warrior like, yet it was the only way.

There were too many innocents dying because of this war. There had to be a shortage of food and supplies because of the war.

When Gabrielle had said someone had to stop it, she hadn't meant her soulmate. As soon as the words had left her mouth, the bard had noticed the look in Xena's eyes. Not even she could stop a war. Could she?

There was no use in attempting to talk Xena out of ending the war. All Gabrielle could do was as her soulmate asked. Wait until the warrior princess returned and protect Ephiny to the best of her ability.

Had Gabrielle kept her mouth shut would it have made a difference? As she attempted to comfort Ephiny, the bard doubted it. This was something in Xena's nature. Where she had once been an abuser and murderer, she was now a protector. In the fiercest of ways.

Every sound, every movement caused Gabrielle to inwardly flinch. She couldn't do more than that as she aided Ephiny to walk. If they stopped, they would most likely be killed.

What difference did it make entering a healing temple? Somewhere that was safe and supposed to welcome everyone. Because of the war and the division between once joined nations, the general feared entering the temple.

As usual, Xena handled the situation in her own brazen way. The general would be held prisoner. Or slave. Gabrielle hated this, more than words can say.

At least they were initially welcomed into the temple. Ephiny could rest and prepare for the birth of her child. Gabrielle knew it would give Xena time to attempt to end the war. Was the general a part of her plan already?

Listening to the healer pray for the god to heal the soldier nearly caused Gabrielle to shake her head. She'd only been involved with one god. Granted he was the god of war, but she didn't think most gods cared whether most mortals lived or died.

Gabrielle always knew her soulmate was a nurturer, though most would disagree, but how she made certain Ephiny was comforted by saying Phantes might be gone, the child they created together was ready to come alive and therefore had to go on nearly sounded personal.

The bard went with the theme. Ephiny had to know she was surrounded by family. Since Gabrielle was technically an amazon princess, it meant Xena and she were Ephiny's family.

As always, things seemed to happen instantly. Gabrielle had been comforting Ephiny, when the wounded came in. And the head healer wouldn't allow the Mitoan soldier to be treated.

And when Xena insisted treating the soldier, the healer made certain to warn her not to touch a Thessalian soldier. Like a warning from anyone would stop the warrior princess.

It was the aftermath of war once again. Gabrielle hated this part of their travels. But having experienced what they had, it prepared her for moments like this.

Just after stabilizing the soldier, one man chose to see the beauty in Xena's healing skills. The other was too focused on the bard to appreciate what the warrior princess had accomplished. Gabrielle knew it was the difference between most mortals. Their perception of beauty.

When Xena approached her and asked she tend to Marmax, Gabrielle thought it was unusual. True, there were more serious cases that required the warrior princess' attention and the bard had tended many wounds over their travels, something seemed…staged.

Gabrielle had to apologize when Marmax winced. Medicine was not her strong suit. What was? She was a bard. Was she talented? Her warrior princess thought so. And that was enough for the bard.

Tell him a story? What kind of story to relate to the general? Why not one where a king became the hunted. Starting out relating he was a great hunter/warrior, the bard knew she would gain Marmax's attention.

Could a man so conceited with his skills becoming the hunted be enough of a moral for Marmax? That the king learned to appreciate the life of his prey and to better sympathize with them. And, in turn, to sympathize with those he served as king.

That was Marmax's problem. He couldn't see the true moral of the story. Or that it truly applied to all life. Gabrielle only hoped he could one day see. Inner peace and to share it with the world.

The peace and relaxation of the story was shattered by the fact two new patients needed much help. As they alternated between patients, Gabrielle had a sickening feeling. One of the two would not make it.

As things were becoming interesting, Galen had to make things even more interesting. Luckily, even without Xena's sword, she was able to make it so they could continue to treat the patients.

Gabrielle wondered if Galen would learn. While it was ok to believe in the gods and pray to them, you couldn't count on them. One had to think and do for themselves.

Watching as Xena did her best, yet lost a patient hurt. While Gabrielle was beside herself because the man she had attempted to save died, she could see it in her soulmate's eyes. The fact the warrior princess could not heal everything caused her so much pain.

Get used to it? How was anyone able to get used to suffering and death? Gabrielle knew this wasn't her line of work. But because she traveled with Xena, it was a part of the bargain she would have to live with.

Instead of focusing on death, Gabrielle focused on relieving the pain. If she could do that, she could continue to merely live.

The fact Democritus lost sight of what she was doing. Or was it he saw what Gabrielle attempted to do? It was healing, yes. But more importantly, it was to give comfort to those in pain. Whether physically or mentally.

A man would live but without his leg. Gabrielle shuddered at the thought. She was grateful when the man begged for her to seek out his son.

There was no stopping the bard when she was determined. Gabrielle had staff in hand as she sought out the young boy.

A soldier was in her way. Luck was on her side. At least enough so that Gabrielle didn't kill the soldier. But at what cost? The pain was unreal.

Gabrielle could feel the movement as someone carried her. She could hear the voice. The one she loved so much and loved her so much. She had to hold onto that voice. She couldn't let go. Not now. Not when they'd only recently admitted their love for one another.

There was one thing that needed taking care of. Gabrielle needed Ephiny. Somehow her friend managed to be by her side. If this was as grave as she thought it was, no matter how valiantly she would fight to remain with Xena, she had to do something extremely important.

It wasn't surprising when Ephiny refused the right of caste. It meant Gabrielle was injured far more severely than anyone cared to admit and needed to pass her right to lead the amazons onto Ephiny.

Ephiny wouldn't lose Gabrielle too. If only it were that easy. The bard wanted to be here. She wanted to see her niece or nephew. She wanted to finally physically declare her love for Xena.

But Gabrielle was exhausted. She wasn't certain she could remain awake. There was something calling to her. And the battle was nearing. Things were not good on any level.

There was a door. It was Gabrielle was drawn to it. As she came closer, she saw people. Ones she hadn't seen since she was a child. Those that had crossed over.

Did that mean she was dead? Gabrielle could also hear Xena's voice. Never in her life had she heard such fear, anger and desperation in the warrior princess' voice.

Was it because Xena thought she was dead? Gabrielle remembered. She'd nearly taken down the tree when she thought her soulmate had perished.

The voices and familiar faces were urging Gabrielle towards the door. It would be so easy to leave the pain behind her. But could she leave her soulmate behind?

That was the point. It wasn't her time. While Gabrielle was exhausted, in extreme pain and there were friends/family waiting for her, it wasn't her time to be with them.

It was her time to be with Xena. Doing one of the most difficult things she could do, Gabrielle managed to turn her back on the door. On the voices and familiar faces.

In the arms of the woman she loved. Though Gabrielle was groggy, she knew she was being held by Xena. That she was lucky to be alive. And grateful her soulmate never gave up on her.

Gabrielle wasn't certain how long she had been asleep. But the vision that greeted her could only have been bested by one. The bard was officially an aunt.

It wasn't easy even walking. But Gabrielle knew she could rely on her warrior princess to take care of her. Even though Xena had saved her life, she wouldn't take credit. How fitting.

Deep down, Gabrielle knew Xena could do the work they did. But she also knew she kept her soulmate grounded. That as a bard, she had so much to offer.

Was it right speaking of the afterlife? Gabrielle was babbling about everyone she had seen. The brief conversations she'd had.

Hopefully Xena realized something. While there were so many friends and family waiting for her, Gabrielle had chosen, and would every time, to return to her soulmate.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

War. Xena was growing tired of it. Yet, she could get them through it safely. After all, this was the shortest path to Athens.

How had Xena followed Ares for so long? Because her heart had been deadened to what war was truly like. The fact the current war was his favorite, as it placed brother against brother, nearly caused the warrior princess to shiver.

While the land itself wasn't much to fight over, the fact it was the only passage between Thessaly and Mitoa was worthy of fighting over. Whoever controlled the passage…

The thought was interrupted by a sound. It was a familiar sound. One that cause Xena to flash to a familiar face. It was beyond time she visited Solan. It was beyond time she informed Gabrielle of her son.

Ephiny was the last person Xena would have thought they'd see on the trail. Though she had heard rumors of Ephiny marrying Phantes. The child ready to be born must be his. It could complicate things.

Phantes had been killed attempting to find safe passage through the warzone. It should tell Xena something, but this had to be stopped. No more innocents needed to perish.

It wasn't what Gabrielle had said about stopping a war, though it did affect her. For Xena, it was more about the fact the war was so out of control that the soldiers didn't care if they killed an innocent or a foe.

Xena knew they needed a safe place for Ephiny. As she explored, she came upon soldiers. One was ready to kill, even though the other was ready to surrender.

The one ready to surrender was sent on his way. Xena had plans for the soldier who would kill just because the man was his enemy.

The general balked at going into an enemy healing temple. Was it because he knew his enemy was indifferent as he was? Kill or be killed was how the war was playing out. Even when it was unknown strangers.

While there was a chance they would kill Marmax, Xena hoped they would keep a general as a bargaining chip, or as she had said, as a slave.

What rank indeed? With Marmax in plain uniform, he appeared as any foot soldier. If he were to keep quiet, the Thessalians would never know.

Having Ephiny probably helped them gain access. Not that Xena wanted her amazon friend struggling. She needed rest as time neared.

Ephiny was tired and felt like her soul was being ripped out. That was about how it felt all right. Xena remember all too well.

Xena also remembered how Borias had been killed. They had had their differences toward the end, but he was still the father of her son.

There was one thing that had kept Xena going, if only until she had given Solan to the centaurs. There was a child that needed her that was created out of love. At least it had been love on Borias' part. Ephiny would have to do the same. Hold onto the love she and Phantes shared and the child about to be born.

The warrior princess didn't have much family. There was her mother and Gabrielle. Solan who she could not claim. And a rogue brother. Why not add Ephiny to the short list.

Watching the process in which they treated patients was disturbing. While it wasn't Xena's place, she couldn't allow the men to suffer and die.

It was true. The gods couldn't care less about whether most mortals lived or died. It was up to mortals to care for themselves and others.

A harlot that had battlefield experience should be listened to over the gods any day. Xena hastily took control. Hopefully she could do more good than the harm Galen and his followers were doing.

Finally, Xena was given permission to treat Mitoans, but to leave Thessalians alone. Even if she could only save one man, it would be worth it.

Xena's instincts went into effect. She barked orders as she attempted to save the man. When she'd, for the time being, succeed, the crowd cheered. She didn't want the cheers.

What Xena needed was a second pair of hands. Gabrielle was by her side. They worked as a team. The warrior princess barked out orders.

Antiquated. Galen just couldn't let go of his belief in the gods. Xena had witnessed it before. It had led to the destruction of many a mortal over the years.

On the flipside, Hippocrates wanted to study Xena. To study her techniques. What the people needed was for someone to show they actually cared.

Giving up her sword wasn't the wisest of things, but the patient required something to help the healing process begin. There were no splints for a broken leg so…

If Xena read Marmax properly, he could be reached. What was the best way to do that? Gabrielle. Her bard would come up with a story. Xena was certain.

Just like that, more wounded were coming in. Once again, Xena would require her bard's help. It would definitely require teamwork as they would rotate between the two soldiers.

Luckily, everyone followed orders. Luckily, there were the tools Xena required to attempt to save the patients' lives. Unfortunately, Galen was determined to end her healing. By having the guards attack her. And Xena was without her sword.

Luckily, Xena had many skills. She was able to defend herself and continue to work to save the soldier's life. And tell Galen he had to do better than that.

And tell Galen he didn't heal. It was as if he enjoyed watching people die. Respect for the gods? Seriously. If the gods respected mortals, Xena might think about showing them some respect.

The moment every healer dreaded. Even though Xena would never classify herself as such, it wasn't easy letting go. For some patients, it was for the best they end their suffering.

What was worse was how Gabrielle reacted. Why? There were simply some things even Xena couldn't heal. Loss of blood was one of them.

For someone like Gabrielle, losing a patient would be difficult to overcome. The harshest thing Xena could say to her bard? You'll just have to get used to it.

Galen was right on both counts. Gabrielle was a lovely young lady. And she didn't belong in a warzone. If anything happened to her bard, it would fall on Xena's shoulders.

Partly it was because how angry she was with herself, but mostly it was to see how Marmax was a hypocrite. Who was he to comment on the welfare of others?

Did he not see the total devastation he and his men were responsible for? The fact he used the word neutralize when what really happened was no survivors. No man, woman or child remained.

From attempting to comfort Gabrielle, to trying to get Marmax to see his sins to having to tell a man he wouldn't survive unless he lost his leg. This was becoming more trying than battle for two weeks straight.

The fact the coloring informed Xena it was disease that would flow throughout the man's body didn't comfort her. Or make it any easier to tell him he needed to lose his leg.

Marmax still hadn't learned. Xena had to threaten him with another wound so he would help the enemy. Would the general ever learn?

Pressure points. They weren't for merely killing. They came in handy when it came to treating wounds. Even though the soldier might not be able to feel the wound, he could see it coming. He would still 'feel' it.

Xena was becoming numb. She hadn't forgotten Ephiny and the new life waiting to enter the world. But all this suffering and loss of life and the warrior princess could only do so much to prevent it.

Just like that, Xena's worst nightmare was coming true. Gabrielle was the one on a stretcher. She was the one the warrior princess had to save.

There was also the soldier who had injured her bard to tend to. While there was a part of Xena that wanted to kill him herself, she knew Gabrielle would never forgive her. She'd already had to make that promise.

Marmax couldn't understand how Gabrielle would rather die than take a life. It was a different code than either Xena or the general lived by.

No, Gabrielle shouldn't have been in the warzone. But the fact it was Marmax's man who had nearly killed her bard, all because he didn't know who she was hopefully would make the general finally see.

The moment Gabrielle called out for Ephiny, it chilled Xena. Especially when her bard gave the amazon her right of caste. It meant her soulmate was giving up. She was resigning to die.

As usual, things turned worse. The battle neared. There was no way they could remain at the temple. There were those that could not be moved. Xena would stay for them. And of course for Gabrielle.

Gabrielle had received all the healing Xena had to offer. It was now up to the bard. In the meantime, the warrior princess would continue to do what she could for the wounded.

After things had calmed a little, Xena took the time to spend a moment with Gabrielle. It didn't take much to admit that, to do it over again, the warrior princess would have taken her bard's advice. She would have taken the southern route. Even if it had meant continued killing and Ephiny being left to her own.

Xena could even admit to Marmax she had made a mistake. She shouldn't have brought Gabrielle into a warzone. The general countered with everyone makes mistakes. But did everyone else's mistakes cause the death of their best friend? More so, of their soulmate?

When the catapults sounded, it was time to evacuate. As Xena said, anywhere was better than remaining. And the fact Marmax was savoring victory…

At least Marmax agreed to help give the wounded safe passage. Xena would remain, if only for Gabrielle. Her bard could not be moved. Not for a second. The fact Hippocrates claimed she would die caused Xena to call him a cynic.

Another complication as the catapults continued to fly. Ephiny couldn't be moved. Worse, she couldn't have a traditional delivery.

It was something Xena had never done before. But it was the only way she could think of to bring Ephiny's child into the world. Luckily, it worked. Hopefully son and mother would make a full recovery.

The Mitoans refused to leave because Marmax refused to leave. Hippocrates refused to leave as long as Xena stayed. And Galen had completely lost it.

Just as Gabrielle needed her the most, Marmax finally came to his senses. His men had attempted to take control. The general said he was more himself than he had been in forever.

Xena couldn't think of anyone or anything else. Gabrielle was about to leave her. And the warrior princess had no clue as to how to heal her.

Perhaps Gabrielle needed air. Xena attempted to breathe life into her bard. She attempted to get her soulmate's heart beating once again by repeatedly hitting her chest.

Gabrielle was not dead! Xena refused to believe that. Her bard was not in a better place. She could not merely give up on her. She had to try one more time.

What did Marmax know. He had killed so many. But then again, so had Xena. What was one life in the balance of things? It was everything to the warrior princess.

The strong, mighty warrior princess could not control the tears. Her bard had performed the greatest miracle. She had returned from the land of the dead.

Things settled. Gabrielle was resting, as were the other wounded. Ephiny was enjoying her first hours with her son. Marmax came to say his final goodbyes.

More so, Marmax came to thank her for the wound. It was the most educating he'd ever had. And he was ready to negotiate. Peace could be achieved, now that he understood what they had truly been fighting for and the cost of the war.

Hippocrates was writing everything he had learned from the warrior princess. Why? Because there was so much to learn. Even if Xena wouldn't admit it. She truly did wish him luck in the future with healing. He had what was necessary. He had compassion and the willingness to listen to his patients.

Finally, they were on their way. There was no need for Gabrielle to thank her. Xena definitely didn't want thanks. It was her fault Gabrielle had been wounded. And worse, had crossed over.

It was proven as Gabrielle related the tale of what had happened while she had been under. Even saying Talus said hi. Even though it was one of the most difficult things to do, Xena listened to every word her bard had to say. She owed her that. And so much more.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Traveling had been slow going. Instead of taking Gabrielle to Athens, Xena had decided they both needed someplace more relaxing. Someplace more homelike.

That was why they had spent the past two months in her mother's inn. Being back in Amphipolis was…Xena couldn't quite put it into words.

In some ways, Xena had fallen back into the routine. The one before she had become the ruthless warlord. It was as if she was a teenager again.

It was as if Xena was taking care of the best friend she really hadn't had while growing up. While she had some friends, especially in her early days, it had been her younger brother who had been her best friend.

The fact Toris had not returned to the village dismayed Xena. She wondered if he had truly learned his lesson or was he still seeking revenge? Time would tell.

The two weeks had done wonders for Gabrielle. Even when she had been barely strong enough to walk, she had been able to write in her scrolls.

While her writing collection had been impressive before, it was as if she could fill a library on her own. Gabrielle knew they would be safe in Amphipolis under Cyrene's care.

It would lighten their load. Argo would be grateful for that. Still, Gabrielle would miss having her scrolls with her. She would continue to write in them each night. The only scroll she would keep at her side was her own personal diary.

"How are you feeling today, Dear." Cyrene brought the tray to the bard. She had had some late night chats with Gabrielle. There was something about her. She was definitely a good influence on her daughter.

The problem? Cyrene was worried what the final toll would be for Gabrielle as she continued to travel with her daughter. From the stories that had made it to Amphipolis, this wasn't the first time the bard had been placed in harm's way.

"Almost up to practicing with my staff." Gabrielle was becoming a little restless. She'd been traveling for how long with Xena. They hadn't remained in one place for more than a couple days. Not that she hadn't enjoyed her talks with Cyrene.

Cyrene sighed. She remembered how Lyceus and Xena would practice sword fighting. "I remember watching Xena and Lyceus playing with wooden swords. Though they showed talent, I didn't think either would follow their father's footsteps."

"You never wanted either to be fighters." Cyrene shook her head as she poured the tea she had made for them. It would be soothing. Hopefully it would help them both sleep.

Sleep was not something the innkeeper came by easily. One would think after cooking all day and serving drinks into the night, she would be exhausted.

But Cyrene was always worried. She was worried about Xena's safety. She was worried about her traveling friend. And she was worried her daughter would be sent back over the edge and return to being a warlord. Even with Gabrielle's influence.

"It's understandable." Gabrielle took the tea Cyrene offered her. "No one wants to see their child in danger. Especially if it's danger they created for themselves."

"Being a single parent wasn't easy." Cyrene sat in the chair beside Gabrielle. She took a sip of her tea. "But what was the most difficult was knowing one of my children would want to follow in their father's footsteps. Somehow, I always knew it would be my Lil One."

"I haven't been that little in a very long time." Xena had the deer across her shoulders. It had taken her nearly all day to track the deer. The animals were spooked. Probably a storm on the horizon.

Before either Gabrielle or her mother could respond, Xena had the deer in the kitchen. She would help her mother butcher it. But not before she made certain her bard was behaving herself.

"No, you haven't." Cyrene shook her head. This time, it was with a smile upon her face. "But you'll forever be my Lil One. You and your brothers."

Xena wanted to tell her mother they had seen Toris, but didn't want to give her mother hope he would return. "I know, Mom. And you'll always be my mother."

The warrior princess pulled up an extra chair. The fire was dying. She took the time to place a small log upon it. Soon, her bard would need to head to bed.

"Now that, for once, I have you both together and alone, there's something I want to ask you." Cyrene had to keep from laughing at the expression upon her daughter's face.

"When were you going to tell me you are more than friends?" Gabrielle choked on her tea. Xena groaned loudly. "Lil One, I only want to see you both happy."

Xena took a deep breath. She knew it was up to her as this was her mother they were dealing with. "We're sorry we haven't told you. It's still all new. We haven't told anyone. It would place Gabrielle in even greater danger."

"Cyrene." The innkeeper kept her gaze steady on her daughter, even though Gabrielle was the one attempting to gain her attention. "I was once betrothed. I never wanted to be married. But now that I travel with your daughter, I can have the best of both worlds."

Now Cyrene was looking at the bard. Gabrielle's eyes were focused on her daughter. When the innkeeper stole a glance at her daughter, there was redness to her cheeks. But there was so much love it was nearly scary.

"I can be with the person I love more than anything but have the adventure I craved." Gabrielle had to swallow before continuing. "The only downside will be the danger it places us both in."

In that moment, Xena knew. Her bard loved her more than anything. And she loved Gabrielle more than anything. But this latest experience had affected them both.

There would be a point one day. Would it be Gabrielle or would it be Xena? When either would say they couldn't do it anymore. That the price was to high to pay.


	25. Chapter 25

From nearly losing me to seeing her son after ten seasons, it wasn't an easy time for my soulmate. Not telling me there was the possibility of meeting Solan for the very first time weighed heavily on Xena.

This time, the door doesn't slam. This time, Xena brings me a hot cup of cider. The nights have grown long, the days short. The Solstice Season will soon be upon us.

It's not the reason Xena remains. It's because she knows this story must be told. Unlike our other adventures, this is one she wants to make certain her voice is heard.

Xena places a hand upon my shoulder. It's to tell me she knows I incorporate her voice in every word I write. But I also know I can't know every thought or feeling my soulmate endured during such difficult times.

It's different than the last adventure. Instead of nearly losing her soulmate, briefly Xena was reunited with her son. One she didn't stop thinking about. Even for a second.

It's later adventures Xena might also slam the door. Or she might do as she is doing now. Even though I know my soulmate as well as myself, I don't know how she'll react. I don't know how I'll react.

But these chronicles must go on. Their teachings must reach future generations. So that hopefully all we fought for will be preserved.

Or if not preserved, those in the future will have a templet. A guide to fight for the greater good. It's never easy. But it's what those that can fight should do. Whether it's with a weapon or with words.

I'm off topic. I can't count how many times I've written I'm off topic so far. The number will be endless of how many times I will continue on a different road than I began with.

Back to meeting Solan. It was easy to tell he was his mother's son. Not that he didn't have his father in him. Xena would disagree, but the compassion he shown. And the fight. It was all his mother.

Azure eyes roll as they read my last paragraph. It's not only because Xena never truly forgave herself for being in a position to give up her son, but also because she cannot see what she has become.

A deep sigh escapes Xena. I think I'm embarrassing and hitting a nerve at the same time. I would apologize, but I know in very near future adventures, I'll be doing the same.

I won't go there until I have to, but we both have things in our pasts we would like to change. It repeats, like one's stomach does after eating Joxer's stew. But it's true. We are mortals, full of fallacies. We have to learn to accept that. And to overcome them.

For me, this adventure was eye opening. I'd known Xena was capable of many physical feats. But to have seen how, seasons later, giving up her son so that he could hopefully have a normal life and not be a target showed a strength few knew.

ORPHAN OF WAR

The recuperation time for the bard had been cut short. Word had come that one of Xena's former army members was on the march. And he was taking on the centaurs.

Gabrielle didn't like the look of the totems. They were definitely a warning of some kind. She wasn't surprised when Xena informed her they were made by centaurs.

There were signs Dagnine had already attempted to fight the centaurs but had been driven off. They were mighty fighters. Gabrielle had witnessed that first hand when the centaurs had teamed up with the amazons.

But what about Xena and the centaurs? Gabrielle knew there was a past between them. As usual, her soulmate had not been forthcoming with the complete details.

The fact Xena had helped forge a treaty between the amazons and centaurs hopefully would reflect positively with the centaurs they were about to meet.

Back to Dagnine. A capable warrior, but one not to turn ones' back on. That was from evil Xena's perspective. It was a terrifying thought.

And when Gabrielle was told to ready herself, her heart began racing. This would be the first fight since she was fatally wounded.

Would Gabrielle react as she normally would? Would she freeze at the first sign of trouble? Worse, would Xena freeze worrying the same?

The duo held off their attackers long enough for centaurs to appear. But were they saved? The lead centaur's greeting was ominous, understandably.

Gabrielle watched as her soulmate handled the situation. The destroyer of nations would never return. Only the warrior princess would grace the centaurs.

The fact Xena knew of Dagnine's plan seemed to ease the tension between the warrior princess and the centaur. The explanation of stopping Dagnine and not being there for anything or anyone was puzzling to the bard.

At that moment, a young boy charged at Xena. Gabrielle couldn't help wondering with the expression on her soulmate's face. Who exactly was Solan and why was the centaur so protective of the young man?

Whoever Solan was, his priorities were made clear. He wanted to kill Xena. Gabrielle wondered what could make someone his age want vengeance on her warrior princess.

Xena killed his father? The name Borias meant something to Gabrielle, but she couldn't quite place the stories that went with them. Someone from her soulmate's past?

Gabrielle didn't know what to say or think when her soulmate so bluntly informed her that Xena's greatest enemy was also her son.

Even after hearing the story of Xena and Borias, Gabrielle knew there was more to the story. Even if she claimed to have told the bard everything, there was more to the story.

How could anyone, destroyer of nations or warrior princess, so easily hand their son over to anyone to raise? Gabrielle realized the centaurs were truly honorable, but to give them your child?

The reason behind it was easy to deduce. Xena was the destroyer of nations. She was at Ares' right hand. Anyone wanting to begin their reputation as a warrior would target her. And any member of her family.

Now that Xena was here, shouldn't she tell Solan who she was? Gabrielle understood it wouldn't be easy, especially given Solan's reaction to the warrior princess' presence. But didn't he have a right to know who his mother was?

The way Xena practically shoved Gabrielle out of the way informed the bard her soulmate was not ready or willing to face the fact she was so near her son.

Gabrielle had to watch her soulmate storm off. The direction was clear. Xena wanted to confront the man who had been entrusted with her son.

The bard wasn't certain what to think or do. She wanted to speak to Xena. Attempt to convince her that she needed to at least speak with Solan, if not inform him of his true lineage.

After wandering for several moments, Gabrielle finally came across her soulmate once again. It was right down to business as Xena related what she knew about Dagnine.

And what could happen if the Ixion stone were to fall into Dagnine's hands. All the evil trapped inside could be unleashed.

At one time, Xena had been after the Ixion stone. Gabrielle shuddered inwardly at the thought of the destroyer of nations being showered with even more evil.

Listening to Xena tell how Borias came to realize the path they were on was not the right one sooner nearly broke Gabrielle's heart.

The fact Xena didn't order Borias killed, but captured, spoke volumes to the respect she had for him at one time. Was there love? In a way, Gabrielle hoped so. Because if there was love, it made it all worthwhile.

Unfortunately, Solan was under the impression Xena was responsible for his father's death. In a way, he was correct. But who actually struck the fatal blow?

Gabrielle's heart broke as she listened to how Xena felt. About how her love and need to be with Solan grew with each day. But that she had no right because she walked away.

To Gabrielle, that wasn't true. What was true was every child deserved to know who their mother was. To know the truth. And to know they were more than loved.

Instantly, Gabrielle's heart went from broken to angry. How was it not her business? While it might not be the bard's place to inform Solan of his lineage, it was definitely her business.

Hadn't exchanging their love for one another made it Gabrielle's business? Even as a mere friend, she should be involved in something so personal to her best friend.

While Gabrielle couldn't tell Solan who his mother was, she could speak to the young man. She could attempt to teach him who Xena was now. It could help forge a friendship between mother and son.

Why did it not surprise Gabrielle that Solan would notice her staff? She had noticed the sword he carried. She also knew he wanted to avenge his father's death.

The difference between a sword and staff had to be explained. In one of their first adventures, Gabrielle had made herself a target, merely by picking up a sword. There were no sharp edges with a staff. It was only for defense.

Solan was a warrior all right. Gabrielle just wasn't certain it was in the way he thought he was. As she hastily showed him, a staff could be used in many ways. Including defending oneself from an errant ball.

The skill caught Solan's attention. It would be easy to show him how to do it. And without being a warrior. But his lesson was interrupted by an attack. They were after Xena's son.

Instead of running, Solan attempted to use his weapon. Unfortunately, Gabrielle was no match for all the men. She watched in horror as the young man was dragged away. He was fighting every step of the way.

Luckily, it didn't take long for Gabrielle to find Xena. The look in those cobalt eyes chilled the bard. Returning to the village wasn't an easy task. Not knowing that her soulmate was on a mission to save her son.

It didn't take long for Gabrielle to make it to the village. It took every bit of her skills as a bard to convince Kaleipus to remain. To fortify the village and ready for when Xena returned.

One of the ways Gabrielle managed to convince Kaleipus to refrain from going on the attack was how relentless Xena was. And how she always seemed to win in the end.

When finally Gabrielle could no longer hold the warrior back, she convinced him to only accept volunteers to head into a fight. And who would be right there in the lead? The bard herself.

After a little while of traveling, there was an unusual sound. As Gabrielle had learned over the time she'd travelled with her soulmate, if it was the unknown, it was Xena.

As it turned out, Gabrielle was right. Xena and Solan were stuck in an underground cavern. It would take a bit of rope and some strength to pull them out.

It took two tries as Dagnine and his men arrived just as they had nearly been pulled to safety. As Gabrielle told them to try again, she heard Solan yell for his sword.

Scarily, Solan's sword had been the answer all along. The Ixion stone had been hidden by Borias to protect it. Gabrielle shuddered as now Dagnine had all this evil at his disposal.

What had sadly become second nature for Gabrielle instantly went into effect. It was directing traffic. It was tending to the wounded.

In this case, it meant taking care of her soulmate's son. Before Gabrielle did that, she had to say something. It wasn't exactly that she was wrong earlier.

Having to say 'friend' wasn't easy. But as they had discussed with Cyrene, no one could know of the true nature of their relationship.

Though it was true. While they were more than friends, friendship would always be the basis for their relationship. It was the best kind of relationship.

Gabrielle had to admit that she was a little harsh on Xena. That she hadn't fully understood how much her soulmate was hurting. And while she would, if roles were reversed, inform Solan of his parentage, it wasn't her place. And she had to accept it and support her fully.

The simple apology and saying Gabrielle would be there for Xena was greeted by 'always'. It was akin to saying I love you. At least that's what the bard chose to hear.

It made helping Solan a little easier. Plus, Gabrielle could continue to get to know him. And maybe enlighten him a little.

Whatever happened on their journey had Solan understanding Xena knew a great deal. Gabrielle had to stop and reflect for herself how Xena always did what was right, even when it hurt her the most.

And when Solan said Xena wasn't like he'd heard, Gabrielle had to relate how she'd only known this Xena. The one who fought for the greater good. Who only did what was right for others, but not for herself.

Gabrielle could understand hearing a story, but not knowing the ending. Or at the very least, that the story had more to it than one realized.

It had taken a great deal for Gabrielle to understand the true nature of her soulmate. The stories were one thing. But not having seen it still sometimes had the bard questioning just how ruthless Xena had been.

Xena would be grateful to know her son didn't hate her anymore. Gabrielle was grateful she could tell her soulmate just that.

As time drew near, Gabrielle had to ask what she was to do. The consensus was easy. The bard was to remain with Solan. She was to protect him. It was something she would gladly do.

Solan was so much like his mother. Even after being told to remain, he wanted to retrieve his father's sword. Luckily, Gabrielle was there to do as she had been asked.

The most difficult thing in the known world? Remaining in the village after Dagnine had been defeated. Why? Because Xena was having a chat with her son.

While Gabrielle knew it needed to be a private conversation, she would have loved to be there for both mother and son.

Soon, Gabrielle would have to be there for mother. Xena would need comforting. She would need understanding. The bard only hoped she would be enough to take away some of the pain and help in healing her warrior princess.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

A name from her past had caused Xena to leave her home. It meant Gabrielle had been forced to travel. She only hoped it wasn't before her bard was ready to travel.

It was more than travel. This latest quest Xena had undertaken most likely would lead to war. Even if she were to make it to the centaurs before Dagnine, there might just be a battle with the centaurs.

A battle had already occurred. From the signs of battle, Dagnine had already been here and had been driven off by the centaurs.

The dreaded question. What kind of reception would Xena receive? Gabrielle wasn't even aware of the biggest obstacle. Something that had not left the warrior princess.

Dagnine was unlike even Xena back in the day. He would have killed, raped or destroyed anything or anyone just to get what he wanted. How he had remained under her command, especially the way she had treated him…

It was definitely not as Xena had described. She could have killed all the centaurs. If it hadn't been for Borias forming the treaty and the birth of her son, the destroyer of nations would have destroyed the entire village of centaurs.

Xena readied herself as she gave her soulmate the warning to be ready. No, it wasn't the centaurs. It was much worse as it was Dagnine's men.

Luckily, it didn't take much between them to dispense the men. It was just enough to get Xena's warrior juices flowing. Her senses were heightened. Another approached helping to scare off their attackers.

Destroyer of nations. At one time, Xena would have loved to be referred to as that. She would have loved the fear it would instill in others. Now, that Xena would never return.

Instead, it was the warrior princess who was here to attempt to keep Dagnine from obtaining the Ixion stone. Her wording nearly gave her away as she informed her old enemy she was not here for anything or anyone.

Still, Gabrielle picked up on it. Xena knew she had had plenty of time to tell her soulmate about Solan. She couldn't have done it in Amphipolis as she didn't want to tell her mother. Cyrene would have wanted to see her grandson for herself.

Just like that, Xena had an armful of her son. Solan. It was the first time since she had handed her infant son to Kaleipus who had raised him as his own.

To hear that her own son wanted to kill her and that he was her greatest enemy was the most painful thing Xena had ever heard. It made watching the scene unfold nearly impossible.

Just as impossible was finally admitting to her soulmate who Solan was. It caused Xena to remember the night she gave up her son.

Kaleipus had been skeptical. But as soon as Xena had explained her reasons why, he seemed to understand. The pure evil that the destroyer of nations was would be imprinted on her son. And there would be those that would either want to turn him against her or kill him.

Xena need a breather. Instead of remaining to speak to Gabrielle, she went for a walk. She didn't go far. And knew her bard would eventually seek her out.

It wasn't long and Gabrielle was asking to speak. Was Xena's answer the truth? Had she told her bard everything? The omission of her son was not the only thing the warrior princess had refrained from telling her soulmate.

How could Xena walk out on her child? How could she not? Her mere presence meant Solan was in constant danger. Either by harm or ransom.

So Gabrielle, at least on some level, understood why. Her bard couldn't understand how. Xena couldn't even fully explain how she had left him in such loving and capable hands.

Leave it to Gabrielle to instantly attempt to reunite mother and son. Xena wasn't ready for that. She might never be ready for that. Besides, it wasn't what was right for her. It was what was right for Solan.

Xena hadn't meant to be so abrupt with her soulmate. But she needed to distance herself. Not only from her bard, but from the fact she was so near her son.

It was Kaleipus who Xena sought out. While she knew it was the centaurs right to raise Solan how he pleased, she didn't want her son raised to be a warrior.

Of course, neither did Kaleipus. Xena knew her former enemy was right. Solan was headstrong. He was definitely her son. But he was also Borias'. Hopefully, he would make the right choices. The ones she had failed to make.

Was Kaleipus serious? Did he not think Xena knew what it felt like to lose her son? It was unreal. She was a mother without a son. And had been for over nine years.

It was time to see what Dagnine was up to. It was the best way to keep Solan safe. They could deal with who raised him after everyone was out of harms' way.

Gabrielle would find her. Xena knew her soulmate would attempt to bridge the gap between them. Even if it was to continue asking about their continued mission.

The stone contained pure evil. It was why Xena had had her army searching for it. It was why they had to do whatever it took to keep it out of Dagnine's hands.

Borias turning against Xena had many reasons behind it. One was to keep her from the Ixion stone. No one should have that kind of power. But mostly, it was because he didn't want the kind of life they were living for their child.

The fact was Xena didn't know if she could have actually ordered Borias dead. Captured definitely. As Gabrielle pointed out, Solan believed she had killed him. That's what mattered at the moment.

Being a mother meant so much more than giving birth. And it didn't end after birth. Just because Xena had not been there in person, it didn't mean she hadn't thought of his well being. Of what was best for him.

At this point, Xena didn't have the right to waltz back into his life and try to claim what she had given up. She had to warn Gabrielle not to do it for her.

Thinking so much of Borias had led Xena to his grave. There was a marker next to Borias. It was for Solan's mother. It was fitting as the day Xena had given Solan to Kaleipus a part of her had died.

Solan would even attempt to keep her away from his parents' graves. In a way, Xena couldn't blame him. Even after telling him she had great respect for Borias and that she hadn't killed him, her son refused to believe her.

What did Solan know about his mother? Kaleipus had gifted her son with a wonderful mother. Could Xena have been those things had she not been on the path she had been on?

With the woman described, it would possibly help Solan see that being a warrior was not the path for him. That it wasn't what Borias or his 'mother' would wish for him.

The key was nobility. It was true Borias died while attempting to protect his son and the centaurs. But revenge and anger were far from noble.

Singing was something Xena didn't do often. But at the mention of it, she wanted to sing for Solan. Friends used to sing for one another. She could sing for him.

Before Solan could respond, Xena sensed something. Someone was watching them. It was, unfortunately, time to send Solan back to the village while she confronted whoever it was attempting to discover anything about her.

It didn't take much to find the seer. It didn't take much, after the pinch was placed on him, to discover Dagnine knew everything. Including the fact she was Solan's mother.

As soon as Xena was near the village, she was greeted with the news. Not only had Dagnine known who Solan was, he now had him.

While Gabrielle would want to help rescue Solan, someone needed to tell Kaleipus. The villagers needed to prepare. It wouldn't be much longer and Dagnine would attack.

Slipping into Dagnine's tent was nearly too easy. Xena was right when she had said he hadn't changed. He laid his plans out clear as day. Not that she hadn't already suspected.

Dagnine claimed to know her capabilities yet he hadn't expected what had happened. She was now free to save her son knowing where he would look for the Ixion stone.

The next step was to rescue Solan. It was going well. Her son managed to catch the key. But when he insisted on retrieving Borias' sword, things went awry.

It seemed there was only one way out of their current predicament. It would mean Solan had to trust Xena. It was a huge step. And a giant leap into the unknown.

Once they landed, they had to keep moving. Inadvertently they had discovered the way to the Ixion caverns. It was a short cut. Dagnine would act immediately.

The first thing in their way was the fact Solan had broken his arm. Xena had to remind him a sword did no one good if they didn't have an arm to wield it with.

Alone time with Solan. But more than that, Xena had to keep him from being too terrified. He had shown good instincts. More like his father than his mother in some ways.

Xena could impart something that had taken her years to learn. Being brave wasn't what made one a great warrior. It was knowing what was in your heart, knowing what was right and standing up for it.

Even if that meant standing up to someone you had once loved a great deal. That's what Borias had finally done. He had loved Xena, but he had known it was wrong to seek the Ixion stone or harm the centaurs to retrieve it.

Learning that one's hero wasn't always perfect had to hurt. Solan had to realize that one's past didn't make one who they were. It was a part of them, there was no denying that. But one could change. And become the person they were meant to be.

Readily admitting Xena would have killed all the centaurs wasn't easy. But Solan needed to realize she was a different person. And she could own up to her own mistakes.

Comforting Solan as she released the pinch was as close to mothering him as she'd come since the day he had been born. It nearly broke through the warrior's façade.

It lasted less than Xena would have liked. Dagnine would soon be upon them. They had to keep moving. They entered the Ixion temple. But the stone was gone. It meant Borias had found it but wisely kept it from Xena.

Where did Borias hide it from herself and anyone else? Even Xena couldn't fathom where it could be. It's not like Borias hadn't tricked her before.

Borias' handprints. It did something to Xena. While she could never say she was truly in love with him, she had cared for him. And they had traveled a long time together. There were many memories. And there was their son.

While Xena was an amazing fighter, her son was injured. They would need help in escaping from the cavern. It was where her music lessons came in handy. It was a joke to help ease the fear her son was enduring.

Even with Gabrielle and the others, it wasn't a simple rescue. It took a little trickery for Xena and Solan to escape. But at a cost.

Solan dropped his sword. Xena inwardly knew this was where Borias had hidden the Ixion stone mere moments before Dagnine bragged he now had it.

It meant preparing for the ultimate evil centaur. Preparing for a normal raid was not enough. They would need something that could penetrate the evil hide.

As the centaurs and others built the crossbow, Xena had to see how her son was doing. Gabrielle had to say he was a lot like his mom in not admitting he was in pain.

Gabrielle's apology was longwinded. It was understandable how she could not fully comprehend what Xena was going through or thinking.

As a 'friend', Gabrielle would respect and support whatever it was Xena chose to do. The friend part was hurtful in one way, but necessary in another.

They would always be there for one another. That went without saying. But Xena knew that it had to be said, from time to time.

If there was one thing Xena knew, it was that Dagnine would come. She had treated him without respect. He was among those that hated her. And with good reason.

Solan being with Xena was not an option. If something were to happen to Kaleipus, would it change things? It might. Especially since her friend was expressing his want for that.

Either way, there was one thing that was clear. Xena and Kaleipus should never have been enemies. And as he said, he and this Xena never would be.

Strategy. It was what Xena was good at. Things were made easier when Kaleipus basically said he knew what she was talking about.

There was one consensus. Gabrielle was to watch out for Solan. It wasn't that Xena was keeping her bard from battle. It was because she wanted her son in the best hands possible.

Xena had to make certain Kaleipus wasn't harmed. After all, Dagnine was after her. She made certain he focused on her. In fact, she learned something she never knew.

Not that it would add anything to making certain Dagnine was dead, but knowing he was the one who had killed Borias did give Xena closure.

It wasn't necessarily a good kind of closure as Xena would forever blame herself for his death. In a way, she always had. But now she knew for certain it was because of her.

Now for a different kind of closure. It was time to have a conversation with Solan. Soon, Xena would need to have a conversation with her bard. It would wait. Thankfully.

With the first words, Solan healed a little bit of Xena's heart. He knew she hadn't killed his father. More importantly, he knew she wasn't the person she had once been.

Even more interesting was how Solan asked if she and Gabrielle could stay for a bit. It would be 'fun' as he put it. But that wasn't something that could be.

Xena had to make certain before she left that Solan understood a few things. He was such an innocent that he thought she was referring to how he had reacted when first they had arrived.

Every time Xena attempted to confess her ultimate sin, at least as far as Solan was concerned, he guessed it was something else. Perhaps it was a sign. Now was not the time to tell him who she truly was to him.

It nearly broke Xena when Solan said they were friends. That friends shouldn't feel bad toward one another. And the one thing that sent a tear down her cheek? How his mom would have liked her. That they would have gotten along. At least he had admitted he was no warrior.

The rest was nearly too great to bear. Xena managed to say his mother would be very proud of him. And the truth was his mother was extremely proud of him.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It wasn't normal to travel during the night. Gabrielle was exhausted, even with riding double on Argo. She sensed the horse was more than ready to stop and at least rest.

The sun had risen. It was beating down the back of the bard's neck. Yet, she felt cold. She had attempted to speak with Xena, but her soulmate had remained silent.

After a while, Gabrielle had given up on verbally speaking to her soulmate. Instead, she had taken Xena's hand or brushed against the warrior princess.

Gabrielle's favorite part of the night travels had been snuggled up behind Xena. Her arms had wrapped around the waist of her soulmate. One hand of the warrior princess had been on her joined hands, the other held the reins.

It was also Gabrielle's least favorite part as she was certain she had felt the warm wetness of saltiness. One of the few times since befriending Xena, there had been tears.

Xena knew she had no right to continue to torture Gabrielle and Argo. The problem was, if they stopped, she would have to truly deal with what had happened.

Yes, Xena had allowed for tears, but they had nearly immediately been forced back inside. It was rare when she allowed for tears. The last time was when she was certain she had lost Gabrielle forever.

There were many ways Xena could look at their most recent adventure. She had aided the centaurs. She had made a payment on a debt that could never be repaid and had been accepted as the warrior princess, not the destroyer of nations.

Most importantly, Xena had been able to spend time with her son. What she had feared had come to pass. Someone had discovered his lineage and decided to use him against her.

Because of this, Solan had suffered a broken arm. But he had also learned that his greatest enemy wasn't the one who had killed his father, at least not by her own hand.

Solan had learned to accept her as a friend. It was both painful and gave her hope. Hope that one day Xena could claim her son as her own.

As the low mountains came into view, Xena knew this would be a place they could rest. In fact, if it was as she remembered, they could remain for a day or two. Very few knew of the caverns in the mountains.

At this point, Xena needed to be away from people. She needed to be with her soulmate. She needed to attempt to heal. She needed to accept she may never be able to claim her son as her own.

Xena had to clear her throat. She hadn't drunk anything in more than a few candlemarks. It wasn't the wisest of moves, but it was difficult to even breathe at this point.

"There's a set of caverns not far from here." Xena glanced at her soulmate. They were walking side by side. Argo nodded her head as if understanding what Xena had said. "There's water in them. Very few people know about them."

Gabrielle knew this was what Xena needed. She managed a weak smile before responding. "I would love to see them."

The warrior princess knew Gabrielle wanted to say more. Her soulmate was attempting not to push. It was a good thing in this case. "Follow me."

"Always." The word was out before Gabrielle could stop it. In the beginning of their travels, it was something she wouldn't dare say aloud. Now, it went without saying.

It was only another half candelmark before they came across the caverns. From Gabrielle's vantage point, a couple of the caverns were too narrow to enter.

"There's a stream not far. Argo will have plenty of water and plenty of apples, if I'm not mistaken." Xena waited for Gabrielle to retrieve her saddlebag and scrolls.

It didn't take long to remove Argo's saddle. She reared and stomped her front feet a few times, indicating she was not happy with having been worked so.

"I'm sorry, old friend." Xena sighed heavily. Even in battle, she hated to abuse Argo so. "Enjoy some apples. Have a good time."

Once again, Argo reared up. It would take a day or two before the horse forgave Xena. It would be longer before the warrior princess forgave herself.

After watching Argo gallop off, Xena returned her attention to the caverns. Her bard was already exploring. It wouldn't be long before she discovered the one the warrior princess had used to store weapons, among other things.

Xena hastily retrieved her saddlebag and the blankets. Food would need to be thought of as they had only had travel rations during the night.

Gabrielle was standing in the middle of the cavern. She was looking around. Though they had been through so much, there remained a wonder in her bard's eyes.

The warrior princess couldn't help wondering when Solan would fully lose that same wonder. The thought was crushing. It finally brought Xena to her knees.

The wailing startled Gabrielle. She had known Xena was hurting, but this was beyond what she had thought she would hear. Instantly, she was kneeling before her soulmate.

"Xena?" Gabrielle was worried. It was as if Xena wasn't even seeing her. She took both of her soulmate's hands. "Talk to me. Please."

After waiting several heartbeats, Gabrielle chose to see if she could garner a reaction by kissing her soulmate. Azure eyes were instantly upon her. The pain was unreal. "I just want to take away some of the pain."

Though there was a part of Xena that knew she needed to use words, there was another part that needed something. Down the road, they would have to fully discuss Solan. Keeping him from Gabrielle. How all these years had gone by without even chancing seeing him. Would she have ever ventured to the centaur village had there not been a threat?

Answers would not be easy to come by. For now, Xena needed something. At the moment the warrior princess managed to swoop up her bard and stand, a clap of thunder so loud it was as if Zeus himself sent it.

Or was it Aphrodite? Xena often wondered how The Goddess of Love interfered in mortal lives. She had experienced, many times over, how Ares had.

Gabrielle shivered as she felt something she'd never experienced radiating from her soulmate. It was this primal sensation. It wasn't unlike when Xena was in one of her warrior hazes. Yet, it was so very different.

Tenderness was how Gabrielle would describe the touch as she was carried to where the bedrolls lie. She had been too caught up in the beauty of the cavern to have begun her usual ritual of setting up camp.

Xena gently placed her bard on her feet. Without a word, she placed the bedrolls near the charred ring of stones. Later, she would need to gather food and firewood. Right now, another fire needed extinguishing.

When the warrior princess turned to her soulmate, Gabrielle was shivering. Was it too soon for this? Was it cold in the cavern? Or was it anticipation that was causing her bard to shiver so?

As if answering her, Xena watched as her bard began to slowly undress. With practiced hands, the warrior princess matched nearly every movement.

At the moment, the only regret Xena was experiencing was missing out on slowly removing her soulmate's clothing. When finally Gabrielle was naked before her, it was as if the warrior princess was seeing her bard for the very first time.

They had bathed together how many times during their travels? Xena had had to tend Gabrielle's wounds numerous times and vice versa. Yet, it was as if the beauty she was taking in was for the very first time.

Gabrielle slowly closed the slight distance between them. She wasn't certain exactly what she was doing. All she knew was that Xena needed her. In a way she had never needed her before.

It was up to Gabrielle to attempt to ease the pain. To make Xena feel something so amazing it could, even only momentarily, begin the healing process.

The bard began by pressing her body against her soulmate's. Never had she felt another's body like this. Never had she felt her heart nearly explode.

Partially it was from fear. Partially it was from such a reaction by her body that Gabrielle could not put it into words. There would be no writing of this adventure in her scrolls.

Would anyone ever realize just how intimate their relationship had become? Cyrene would. But would anyone else ever discover the depths of their love?

It wasn't about intimacy, though Gabrielle felt her body reacting even more as Xena guided her leg so she was partially straddling her soulmate.

It was about this connection Gabrielle had with her warrior princess. As Xena lifted her so that she had her legs wrapped around her soulmate, it was as if they had done this before.

It was something Gabrielle had sensed before. Even the very first time she had caught azure eyes, it was as if they had met before.

Back then, Gabrielle had thought she was a naïve farmgirl that didn't know about life. Now, she realized she had sensed their connection that transcended time.

Xena had had intimate relations too many times. Most were because she wanted something. Alliances had been easier to control when sex was involved.

There were two relationships that had had some feelings behind them. Xena had loved Marcus and the goodness she sensed from him.

Borias was complicated. But at one time, she had had feelings for him. Was it love? She could never be certain. It had begun with seduction and ended being divided.

Feeling Gabrielle's clit against her own was more than she had felt in all the times Xena had had relations. It wasn't about the body, though she was far more attracted to her bard than any before her.

It was the emotions. Love. Admiration. Friendship. There was the pain of dealing with a son never forgotten and maybe never seen again.

All those things combined so that Xena was nearly weak in the knees. She managed to place Gabrielle on the bedroll before joining her.

"I know we need to talk. And I'm not certain this is the right place or time for the first time we make love, but…" Xena was silenced when she felt a hand upon her breast.

Though Gabrielle was inexperienced, she wasn't about to ignore her own cravings. "The way our lives are led, there may never be a right time. But we have now. We can talk later. Right now, I want to make you feel amazing."

Xena swallowed. While she had watched Gabrielle grow before her very eyes, it wasn't until this moment how truly adult her soulmate was.

Instead of more words, Xena laid on her side. Gabrielle was now facing her. While there had been times when the warrior princess would take what she wanted when being intimate, this was so different.

In unison, they began tracing one another's bodies. Gabrielle hated to see all the scars. What was worse was the fact the scars within were more difficult to know and more difficult to overcome.

Gabrielle knew she now had her own scars. A few battle wounds, the last as she had faced death. Inner scars? There were a few, but nothing like what her soulmate lived with each day.

Xena couldn't take it anymore. She had to know what her soulmate tasted like. Their eyes met. So much love and trust from one person. Something the warrior princess never would have thought she deserved.

Slowly, Xena eased herself so that her head was between Gabrielle's legs. She carefully placed each of her lover's legs over her shoulders. Her hands found ample breasts.

At first, Xena teased the slick folds that led to the most amazing of treasures. As she teased, her hands were massaging breasts.

The scent was overpowering, but Xena didn't want to startle or harm Gabrielle. This was her bard's first time with anyone. If the warrior princess had her way, she would be the only one her bard ever made love to.

Finally, Xena slowly entered her lover with her tongue. The sound that escaped Gabrielle nearly caused the warrior princess to stop. But a hand on her head assured her she wasn't harming her soulmate.

As Xena plunged deep inside her, Gabrielle couldn't help her body's movements. It was like a dance. There was this rhythm. The hands upon her breasts as a thumb stroked her nipples.

In time with those thumbs was a tongue. Gabrielle now understood what it was like to be made love to. It was tender. It was raw. It was amazing. She couldn't wait until she had her chance to explore Xena's body.

All thought was sent from Gabrielle's mind as a hand slowly made its way to join the tongue already licking her clit. The single digit entered her body.

While there was a slight jolt of pain, it was hastily followed by a sensation that caused Gabrielle to feel alive. It was as if she had been asleep her entire life until this very moment.

Something else was building. As Xena continued to make love to her, a pressure was building. It was as if her very soul was attempting to escape.

There was a part of Gabrielle that didn't want to let go. And yet, she knew she was safe. She knew her warrior princess would tether her soul to her own.

The crying out of her name cause Xena to finally slowly remove her tongue and finger from her lover's body. She slid her sweat covered body the length of her bard's body. "Are you all right?"

Gabrielle managed to nod her head. She would have to take a moment before she explored Xena's body for the very first time. Well, at least the first time in real life.

The bard could feel the soft touches. Xena was worried about her. They hadn't slept the night before and now she had spent a great deal of energy, but in the most pleasurable of ways.

Finally, Gabrielle placed a hand behind Xena's head. The kiss brought on a taste. It was her own. She wondered if her soulmate tasted as sweet.

There was only one way to find out. Gabrielle began by kissing a trail. She concentrated on a convenient neck, before making it to full breasts.

First Gabrielle took Xena's right breast into her mouth. The taste was…How could anyone truly describe what it tasted or felt like?

The scent from Xena's promised area was calling to Gabrielle, yet she could not seem to make herself leave those breasts.

Instead, one petite hand made its way between strong thighs. Xena could not even believe her bard had never made love. Yet, she knew it was instinct. And the fact they were soulmates made anything possible.

The moment Gabrielle slowly entered her, Xena felt as if she'd never been touched before. It was like she was the one without experience. How could anything feel like this?

The continued teasing of her nipples and the stroking of her clit had Xena writhing. None had ever made her feel like this. Alive. Loved. Amazing.

But more than that. Xena felt accepted. For the very first time in her life, with all the evil in her past and poor choices, the woman making love to her accepted the entire package.

One last stroke and Xena was sent over the edge. There were tears. They were releasing the pain and the joy she had just experienced.

"I love you." Xena held onto her bard as if her life depended on it. In a way, it did. While she had her mother and son, Gabrielle was what made her life worth living.

"I love you." Gabrielle could feel the love, but also the fear. She could understand. What if they were ever separated? What if they had never known one another? What would life have been like for both bard and warrior?


	26. Chapter 26

One of the more difficult chapters for me to write is this one. It's not so much the emotional aspect, as I never actually experienced the adventure.

I remember the detailed story Xena imparted on me as we snuggled the night before we were to meet a friend. A friend I wish Xena had told me a few more details about. Yet, he was an amazing man who Xena didn't see as anything but a friend.

According to my soulmate, Lyceus and I hit it off right away. In fact, it seems her brother was quite taken by me. All I can say is like brother like sister. In this case, perhaps it's a good thing I have no memory of the events.

It must have been difficult enough for Xena to watch as Lyceus fell for me. But who was I inclined toward? Do I want to know? Or do I already know in my heart of hearts.

I can wonder what I would have been like had Xena not been there to rescue me. If my family had been killed, or even if I were separated from them, what my life would have been like.

Worse was how I would have struggled to survive as a slave. Beaten. No rights. Raped. The evilness of slavery still chills me. I can only hope that future generations will read of our chronicles and understand that no human should ever own another.

As for my soulmate, how did Xena cope with the loss of her mother and the amazons? Did having her brother in her life make up for those losses?

We had just made love for the first time. It would have been difficult enough had we merely declared our feelings for one another. But to have physically expressed them?

My mind spins at the emotions I am experiencing at the possibility of being granted the wish Xena was given. The life of a young boy attempting to be something he was not. It's what he thought society wanted for him.

Just like society wanted me to settle for Perdicas. And I nearly did. Another of those extremely emotional and sensitive stories I'll soon have to force myself to live through. If only so future generations can see the truth.

Which is love every moment of your life. Be true to yourself. But most of all, don't be afraid of the 'what ifs' in life. Take what you want, yet fight for the greater good.

In this adventure, it was Xena having to learn what her life would have been like had she not taken up a sword. Had she not met me and rescued me that long ago day.

It wasn't our last adventure granting us the gift of seeing what our lives would have been like had we not met the way we did. Had we not followed the same path. Sometimes diverging, but always, always walking it side by side.

REMEMBER NOTHING

Honoring your family. It was something Gabrielle could understand, especially after they had finally made love. It made all the difference in the world.

It made Gabrielle enjoy the little things. As much as she had wanted to wrap her arms around her soulmate, walking had new meaning since nearly having left the known world.

It stung a little when Xena had said Gabrielle didn't have to come. After all, wasn't the bard family? Even before taking their relationship to the physical level, hadn't they said they were family numerous times.

What would it have been like to have another sibling, this one male? Hearing how close Xena and her brother had been caused Gabrielle to wonder.

There were a great deal of things causing Gabrielle to wonder. What would have happened if they had taken the step to become closer sooner? What would have happened had they never met?

Either wonderment caused Gabrielle to shiver. Especially if they had never met. Would she have become a slave? Would she have taken a chance and run away and become the bard she had always craved to be?

Her musings were interrupted by their arrival at the temple. Xena had lit a candle for her brother. Eleven years was an extremely long time to remember and love someone.

Gabrielle did wish she had met Lyceus. He was a fighter, like his sister. But that was part of the problem. Xena continued to blame herself for insisting on fighting Cortese. For her brother's life to be cut short.

Would Xena ever see that Lyceus had choices. While it was the warrior princess who's voice had been stronger and louder, Lyceus had been able to make his own choices.

It was something Gabrielle hoped never to experience. Taking a life. Would it be graver if it were someone she loved or an innocent?

As it happened at that moment, a fight was breaking out. Someone wanted to destroy the temple belonging to The Fates. Both warrior princess and bard leapt into action.

As the fight continued, someone was coming at Xena. Gabrielle had no choice but to warn her. Yet, he was just a boy. It was too late. The warrior princess could not hold back her attack. Another innocent lost his life.

Gabrielle wanted to chase after her soulmate, but knew this was one of those moments when Xena would need to grieve. That she would turn to her bard when she was ready.

The life of a slave. Gabrielle had known nothing else. Not since that day in the woods. She and the other youngsters of the village had been sent on their usual chores, only to have Draco's men capture them.

From one master to another, Gabrielle had been sold to the highest bidder or given as a way to repay an old debt. It only seemed to become worse with each transaction.

Working for the trio, as Gabrielle referred to them, was the worst she had faced. Beatings for no reason. Rape. Anything to keep the people, not just slaves, doing as they wished.

As Gabrielle stumbled into the establishment to retrieve dinner, she felt something. If she hadn't been trained so, she would have scanned the room. There were scars upon scars on her body to keep her from disobeying or attempting to escape.

Gabrielle had been ready to accept whatever her keepers thought was fitting punishment. It was dangerous for an outsider to interfere. She made note of the woman. Why? She was uncertain.

When the stranger's significant other stepped in, it was clear. They were like all the others. The woman had only been interested in a house slave. While a house slave certainly was a more comfortable life with most, Gabrielle wanted her freedom. Any way she could obtain it.

It wasn't long until Gabrielle was invisible. It was the way she liked it. She could do things like have the dog lick a loaf of bread or spit in their wine.

It also meant Gabrielle was privy to conversations no one was supposed to be. She overheard certain names. Lyceus was one of those names she made certain to remember.

Barely even allowed to sleep, Gabrielle was expected to continue with her duties. It meant working in the kitchen. At least it kept her away from her owners. She wouldn't even think their names.

The stranger from the market approached her. Of course Gabrielle remembered her. The stranger was another in a long line who had attempted to purchase her.

Get her out of here. Didn't the stranger know what happened to slaves that escaped? The scar Gabrielle showed was just one of many.

Gabrielle took a step back. It wasn't from the sympathy she heard in the stranger's voice. It was because she knew her name.

Xena. That name was unfamiliar to Gabrielle. Yet, there was a pull when it came to the stranger. Someone only wanted to help her with no thought of gain. Impossible.

Lyceus? Now that was a name Gabrielle knew. This was his sister? The ones who had stood against Cortese? The ones her masters were afraid of?

How did Gabrielle know? Easy. She was like draperies to her owners. They didn't even think she could think for herself. All she was to them was money. To what she could do for them.

This Xena spoke as if she knew Gabrielle. No one knew her. Not since her family had been lost to her. Yet, Xena had a point. Gabrielle didn't have a chance to know herself. Could she be trusted?

It seemed Gabrielle was to find out as she wheeled the barrel toward the fire. She was stopped too far away from the fire. All she could do was wait to see how things played out.

Things happened so rapidly, yet Gabrielle managed to keep up. Was it out of instinct? It seemed natural to do as Xena commanded, even though there could be grave consequences.

Get ready to fly? It was an interesting sensation being sent into the air. Gabrielle's heart nearly caught in her throat as she soared through the air. How had Xena calculated it so perfectly that she and Gabrielle landed in the wagon filled with hay?

Being taken care of was something Gabrielle wasn't accustomed to, yet that's what Xena was doing. From allowing Gabrielle to bathe alone to wear her mother's clothing, it was unreal. It was like some dream Gabrielle had long ago given up dreaming.

Xena didn't want a slave? She wanted a best friend? Gabrielle found that hard to believe. There was one thing she'd learned. Never to trust a living soul.

Purest, kindest person? Full of wonder and stories? Someone who would never give up on anything or anyone? That was never how Gabrielle had been. And if she had, it had been killed the day she had been taken as a slave.

Gabrielle hated to interrupt, but she needed to know what was happening. It was too good to be true. Seeing the caring expressions in Lyceus and Xena's eyes was something she'd not seen since she was a child.

And just like that, it was over. Gabrielle's dream was transitioning into a nightmare. She, Xena and Lyceus were all taken prisoner. They were all in cages.

Listening to the siblings hurt Gabrielle. It wasn't merely their counterpoints. It was the fact they were alive and Lila was most likely dead. There was the fact Gabrielle had a taste of freedom. It had only lasted moments, but it was fresh in her mind.

Did Gabrielle hate Xena? In a way, she did. Yet, a taste of freedom was something she never thought she'd have. So there was a part of her that was grateful. Yet, mostly hated Xena.

Friend? Gabrielle could at least leave this world knowing she'd had one friend. All those friends that had come before her time as a slave had been forgotten long ago.

Free once again. But what now? As the man and Xena argued, Lyceus slipped away. Did Gabrielle join them? Or did she run as far away as she could? Why did mentioning of a wedding cause Gabrielle to feel a sharp pain?

Fighting. It was not something Gabrielle was accustomed to. She had lived in servitude her entire life. But there was her need for revenge. After watching the others fight, she saw her opportunity.

With one easy plunge of the sword, Gabrielle had her revenge. It would change everything. Somehow she knew that. Yet, it had felt amazing to inflict pain on the man who had tortured her for so long.

It was the oddest sensation. It was as if something had happened, but Gabrielle couldn't remember what it was. She could have sworn Xena had taken another life. But the boy was running scared.

Was it finding the Virlius token? Or was it something else that caused Xena to hug the bard? While affection was now more common in private between them, it wasn't out in the open. And especially not after a fight.

Xena was acting weird. Gabrielle hoped her soulmate would tell her what had happened. Something had. Until then, she would enjoy the little touches.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Traveling would be so different from now on. While Xena had always been protective of her bard, now she wanted her closer. After all, when was the last time she had offered her soulmate a ride?

Being rebuffed wasn't the end of the world. Xena understood Gabrielle was still recovering from her near death experience. Walking and feeling the earth beneath her was one way to do that.

Why did Xena have to say it was a family thing? Even before they had made love, it was crystal clear she and Gabrielle were family. They were soulmates.

Was it so when in public it would be easier to maintain the façade they were merely traveling companions? Or was Xena having trouble believing they were something more, even after their amazing physical connection.

There were times when Xena hadn't been able to honor her brother the way she was now. She hated herself for those times as her evil rein of terror had kept her from remembering the one person, besides her mother, to always believe in her.

A little bit of humor was used to deflect as Xena's emotions were overcoming her. The closer to the temple they came, the more they were boiling to the surface.

Once inside, Xena had difficulty asking The Fates to comfort her fallen brother. His life truly had been cut short. And she was the reason why it had been.

Gabrielle wishing she'd known Lyceus added to the heartbreak. And the blame. If Xena hadn't insisted they standup and fight Cortese, she would have her brother.

Even with Gabrielle insisting it wasn't Xena's fault, the warrior princess knew better. She had insisted. He had listened to her. And hopefully her bard would listen and never take a life, especially of the one she loved.

The sound of fighting interrupted their conversation. It wasn't long before Xena and Gabrielle were protecting the temple and the innocents worshiping there.

A warrior recognized her. Xena was now a target. He was a skilled warrior, but still dispatched. Was it recovering from the intense fight? Was it remembering Lyceus? Whatever it was, Xena's reaction time was slowed and a young innocent was dead.

Another innocent life taken at Xena's blade. She was tired of the death. She was tired of the fighting. If she could do it all over again, she would.

A wish was made. A wish was granted. Xena, at first, didn't understand what The Fates were speaking of. All was restored? Spill one drop of blood and all would be restored. Her head was spinning.

As Xena departed the temple, the first thing she thought of was Gabrielle. What had happened to her soulmate? Had she been injured? Was she tending to the injured?

The first thing Xena noticed was her clothing. No longer did she wear the leathers of a warrior. Instead, she was wearing the clothing of a villager.

Lyceus! Xena couldn't believe it. How in the known world was Lyceus alive? What was happening? Her head was still spinning from what The Fates had said.

As they made their way to the village, the women sang a familiar song. It was one sung at every harvest. It brought back so many memories.

When Lyceus asked why Xena stared, another memory hit her. She had brushed the dirt from his sarcophagus as she had said his face was always dirty.

The more Lyceus asked if she was all right, Xena was more and more uncertain. After all, where was Gabrielle? What about her mother? And Toris?

Distracted by the fact the Virillus token had saved Lyceus' life would forever be ingrained in Xena's mind. Yet, teasing him about wearing it helped her through as she was attempting to reconcile her memories with this new world she found herself in.

It was obvious Lyceus suspected something wasn't right with Xena. While she had come home and wanted to make better sense of the world she was in, she wasn't truly home without her bard.

Being greeted friendly like was still unusual in her home village. It was why Xena and her bard had only returned the one time so that Gabrielle could heal. It felt amazing to be greeted in a friendly manner.

Xena's old room at the inn. So many memories. Her jewelry. The dresses. The mirror. It was all too much to take in. Yet, her senses were as strong as ever. She knew someone was in the room with her.

Maphias? Xena hadn't thought of her ex fiancé in so many seasons. Why? There had been no spark between them. At least Petracles shared her thirst for power.

Moves? Maphias was lucky Xena hadn't drawn blood. No one, beside Gabrielle, was allowed to even think of taking such liberties. It didn't matter which timeline she was in.

Why wouldn't Maphias take the hint. There were valid reasons as to postponing the wedding. But they could have still married and done the things he had spoken of.

Because they had promised her mother. Instead of standing beside Lyceus' sarcophagus, it was her mother's. Xena hadn't been prepared for what changes could come with wishing not to have spilled blood.

Ten years? It couldn't have been that long. Lyceus responsible? How? Because of a broken heart. They had had to run. But it had left everything Cyrene had worked for defenseless. And losing Toris had not been easy. He wasn't dead, but had run off after feeling he was a coward.

Xena had to believe the world was a better place without the warrior princess having existed. Lyceus would have lived and Gabrielle would have never left her family.

After mourning her mother a little while longer, Xena made her way into the village. She wanted to see what it was like. If it was as she remembered it.

The fact there were warlords demanding something for nothing was not something that appealed to Xena. She couldn't help pulling the rug out from the scumbag.

The maiden appeared to her. Quick thinking. Yet, was it all Xena would resort to? What if it was someone she truly loved in danger? What then?

That's when Xena saw the most beautiful sight in the entire known world. There was a part of her that wanted to grab Gabrielle and make certain she was safe.

Xena had seen the expression in many eyes over the years. She had hoped never to see it in her soulmate's. Defeated. Pain. Agony. Gabrielle was not the same person in this time.

It was instinct protecting Gabrielle. Xena didn't even think how it could earn trouble for the both of them. Mathias stepping in and saying they were in the market for a house slave calmed the situation. But the emerald eyes were full of even more pain than before.

Mezentius? He was the one who owned Gabrielle? He had power? It was not something Xena liked one bit. She remembered her dealings with him in the other timeframe. And poor Marcus.

Xena nearly called out Gabrielle's name as she was taken away. Mathias and Lyceus were both worried about her? Didn't they know she could take care of herself? Of course, this timeframe was so different.

Once again, Xena nearly slipped in calling Gabrielle a friend. Why should it matter? Slavery was a crime. If the warrior princess had anything to say about it, she would end it immediately.

Words could change the world. Mathias was wrong. She'd seen Gabrielle do it many times. While what the mother fate said was true, blood could change things so could words.

Even using Gabrielle being a slave could not waver Xena from believing she could change things without spilling blood. All she had to do was free her soulmate.

Discovering when the delivery was to be made was nearly too easy. Xena had a plan. Now if only this Gabrielle would be willing to go along with it.

As Xena aided her brother in cleaning up the inn for the night, she made another new discovery. The amazons had been affected as well. Enslaved or dead. That's what had happened to them. And to the centaurs.

By the sounds, Lyceus regretted a lot of things. One of them was not fighting Cortese until they had driven him back. Surrendering had to be the hardest thing he had ever done.

While Xena would do anything to stop what was happening, this time around it had to be without blood. Once she spilled blood, things would return to the way they were.

The first part of the plan was easier than Xena thought. She was able to infiltrate the hideout by stowing away in the supply wagon. If her timing was right, it would be how they left the compound.

Gabrielle was nothing like the bard Xena knew. But who could blame her. If she had been a slave for as long as the warrior princess thought, it was surprising she wasn't more jaded to the world.

When Gabrielle revealed the punishment for attempting to escape, Xena nearly lost it. Someone had abused her soulmate. It took all her strength to maintain her plan.

Learning of the trio of warlords chilled Xena's blood. The fact Gabrielle didn't want to help showed how different she was. Or maybe she didn't realize who she truly was.

Finally revealing she was Lyceus' sister was the only way Xena could convince Gabrielle to even remotely listen. Thankfully, she went along with it.

Before Xena knew it, she was in flight. It was different than when she did her own flights of fancy. Timing was perfect as she landed next to her soulmate.

After their flight, it didn't take long to make it to the inn. Seeing the state of shock Gabrielle was in broke Xena's heart. At least she could give her soulmate her mother's old clothes. It was a start in making her realize this was for real.

And that Xena wasn't doing this because she wanted a slave. All she wanted, for now, was a friend. The memory of their lovemaking nearly caused the warrior princess to remain. But she would, for now, give Gabrielle her privacy.

The fact Mathias hadn't returned was weighing on Xena. She needed to calm Lyceus down or he might do something stupid. He truly was like she was, which was full of passion.

It showed when Lyceus explained his plan. A counterattack would not be anticipated. The fact Xena couldn't participate was baffling to her brother, understandably.

Gabrielle appearing was thankful for two reasons. One, it caused Lyceus to stop attempting to convince her she should attack. The other was because of how beautiful her soulmate was.

It was understandable, once again, that Lyceus would have a spark when it came to Gabrielle. If this time continued, he would have to learn Xena and Gabrielle were soulmates.

As it turned out, Gabrielle's words were prophetic. Because of Mathias, it was too good to be true. Because of him, Xena, Lyceus and Gabrielle were in cages.

Lyceus couldn't understand why Xena hadn't picked up the sword. She couldn't tempt fate, as it were. Would he ever understand?

Worse was the state her soulmate was in. Gabrielle was crushed. She didn't know whether to hate or thank Xena. After all, it had been the warrior princess who had given Gabrielle the first taste of freedom she'd had in so many seasons.

Hopefully Gabrielle believed one thing. Xena was sorry and that she truly was her friend. If this Gabrielle could only trust in that, it would make all the difference in the world.

The fact Mathias was helping them escape would never make up for turning them in. While his intentions had been honorable, it had placed Gabrielle and Lyceus in grave danger. How could he even mention a potential wedding?

Leave it to Lyceus to run off. It distracted Mathias so that Xena didn't need to answer. In this, or any lifetime, there would be no marriage between them.

Lyceus was already engaged in battle when Xena and the others arrived. Fighting without spilling blood was nearly impossible. Her brother couldn't understand why she held back.

It wasn't until Xena witnessed the most horrific thing ever. Gabrielle chose, very willingly, to take a life. Granted it had been a miserable life that had tortured her, but to see her soulmate shed blood was too much.

Xena had to say goodbye. Though she loved having her brother in her life, the fact so many others had been affected so horribly counted for everything.

While Gabrielle affected her the most, Xena couldn't help thinking of her mother. There was also the amazons and centaurs. How many others that she hadn't realized would be affected had been?

Destiny. Things happening for a reason. If Xena didn't have her dark side, she wouldn't be the person she was. She wouldn't have her bard by her side. And too many people would be affected.

At least The Fates allowed Xena to save the young boy's life. Now if only he did something positive with it. She couldn't help hugging her soulmate. Life without Gabrielle would be meaningless.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

It wasn't a cave, but it was a clearing. One that offered shelter from the world. It was a good thing as the heavens threatened to open up. Already a shelter had been erected by the warrior princess.

Though the weather had been cooler as of late, tonight was unseasonably warm. It didn't make for snuggling, but bard and warrior princess remained snuggled.

"So you are telling me I was a slave." Xena merely nodded at the half statement, half question. "Lyecus was alive, but Cyrene wasn't."

"It was a different world. The amazons and centaurs were either dead or slaves." Xena was having difficulty believing she had had that much of an impact on lives.

After all, at one time Xena had attempted to kill all the centaurs. She had nearly taken out the entire northern tribe of amazons. Yet, her absence had caused them to become enslaved or to die?

"It was an extremely different world." Gabrielle felt the arms wrapped around her tighten. "What about me? I was a slave. But what was I like?"

"Gabrielle, this is difficult to talk about." Xena knew her soulmate deserved an answer. "I will say you'd lost hope. I attempted to return your belief in humanity. In the end, you did something I never want you to do."

Gabrielle managed to free herself enough to look into cobalt eyes. "You mean…?" Xena reluctantly nodded. "Is that why you chose to change your destiny?"

"That's the thing." Xena maintained the eye contact. "I think The Fates revealed what life would have been like for me so that I would know the impact I had on everyone."

Xena swallowed before continuing. "The past haunts me so at times that I forget that we fight for the greater good. And because I pick up a sword and you a staff, when your words don't work, we make a difference."

"In other words, you needed a reminder of the good in this world that we do together." Gabrielle understood. There were times when the things they did seemed not enough.

"I will say this." Xena kissed the top of her soulmate's head. "I hadn't realized how much Lyecus and I were alike. We were so close, yet I realize I didn't know him as well as I thought. We would have made an amazing team. And he would have been like what you are to me."

Gabrielle tilted her head. It took her a moment to realize what Xena was implying. "He would have kept you from being tempted by the darkside."

Xena nodded. "Had he survived the battle with Cortese, everything would have changed. But what would our lives have been like? Would I have been returning to Amphipolis and just happened upon a clearing to save a group of villagers?"

"I see where you are going with this." Gabrielle straddled her soulmate. "While there are so many paths both of us could have taken, we are on the one we are meant to be on. I just hope we continue together."

Once the words were spoken, both wondered what in the known world could cause bard and warrior princess to walk different paths?


End file.
